The DNA of Relationships

“Gary Smalley has been a fine-tuned instrument in God’s hand for years, helping to bring harmony to marriages and families throughout America. His books, videos, and conferences have turned sour notes of failing families into songs of success. I have called on Gary Smalley to lead the governor’s conference on the family in Arkansas. Although all of his books and materials are dynamic,
The DNA of Relationships
just may be his masterpiece work. It’s bold, solid, practical, and so profound. You are left wondering why others haven’t made things so clear before.”

“The DNA of Relationships
is sure to be a defining work-a catalyst for a relationship revolution that will touch millions. Gary Smalley is leading a charge that will affect you and your relationships at a profound level for generations to come. Listen to his vital voice, take part in his call to action, and be a part of the exciting tipping point that will create an unstoppable movement for improving the state of relationships within the church and beyond.”

“We all know that miraculous things happen when experts focus on the building blocks of our physical health. That’s absolutely true when it comes to the DNA of our relationships as well. Let Gary Smalley, a world-class expert on what makes great relationships, teach you about the basic building blocks of relational health that can transform your friendships, marriage, ministry, or workplace for the better. A must-read for anyone serious about building long-term closeness in a world of broken relationships.”

“Never has there been a time when this book is so needed. Loving words of wisdom for every heart, and especially mine.”

“Gary Smalley continues to help all of us in our most important relationships. This new book will give you reinforcement to love God and others as you love yourself. We’re thrilled to know that thousands of people will be inspired and moved to take responsibility for their lives and stop blaming others for how they feel. We highly recommend this book to all ages for continual relationship repair.”

“All people dance when they are in conflict, either around each other or in an embrace-similar movements, but worlds apart. This book will help people stop stepping on each other’s toes and move them toward looking into each other’s eyes and really dancing.”

“While leading biotechnologists have successfully cracked the DNA code, searching for hidden scientific mysteries in the human body, Dr. Gary Smalley and his team of experts reveal life-changing paradigms that will revolutionize relationships for decades to come.
The DNA of Relationships
magnifies the essence of all relationships-marital, family, and friend-for a well-rounded dynamic life.”

“Once again Gary Smalley is on the cutting edge in helping us develop great relationships with those most dear to us. Gary’s earlier books have nourished our fifty years of marriage. We believe
The DNA of Relationships
is his best work to date.”

“Gary’s books have been a special help to us over the years. We didn’t think he could do it, but this new book is the best yet-over the top.”

“It’s both rare and refreshing to find a new approach to strengthening and enriching relationships. That’s just what Gary Smalley and the relationship team have done. After years of research and rigorous clinical development, this group of outstanding professionals has developed a unique approach that can heal broken relationships and strengthen healthy ones. This isn’t just another relationship book. It may be the most practical and helpful book you’ll ever read.”

“When people find out I’m a director in Hollywood, they inevitably ask who I’ve liked working with the most-Heston, Selleck, Landon, Cher, Jane Fonda, Kathie Lee, Chuck Norris? I always give the same answer. I’ve loved working with all of them, but the one person who has made the single greatest impact on my life is Gary Smalley. The communication and relationship skills that he taught me not only made my marriage the most fulfilling part of my life but also helped me achieve extraordinary success in my business as well. Gary’s communication techniques alone provided the critical foundation on which my partners and I have built businesses that have achieved billions of dollars in sales.”

“How can a man’s passion grow stronger and stronger with each passing year? How can a man’s wisdom grow more effective with each book he writes? How can a man literally revolutionize millions of marriages around the world? It must be the hand of the Lord on that man’s life! My friend, encourager, and mentor Dr. Gary Smalley has done it again. Peer into Gary’s heart, and draw on his wisdom, which will set your life ablaze!”

“The DNA of relationships and the secrets of rebuilding relationships are revealed in this book. Gary Smalley shares the discoveries from marriage intensives created by Greg Smalley, Robert Paul, and colleagues. These secrets will enable people to learn to deal with their ‘hot buttons’ and be able to create a ‘safe zone’ for creating greater intimacy.”

“Gary Smalley’s teaching has had a lasting effect on the relationships in our family. Since I spend a majority of my time speaking to students, I’m aware of the desperate need this generation has for solid, healthy relationships. I look forward to the impact
The DNA of Relationships
will have on all generations!”

“We have both benefited greatly from the message presented in the book you’re holding. Never before have we been so blessed and had our eyes opened to such new and powerful ways of living a more joyful life. I hope teenagers and other adults can each gain even half of what we have gleaned.”

“You will love the unique approach Gary takes to explain how God designed us for relationships. Everyone who reads this new book and learns the new dance steps will improve every relationship.”

“I’ve known Gary Smalley for over thirty years, and I’ve watched him improve his insights for helping couples and families. But this new book,
The DNA of Relationships,
is by far his best work. Together with his highly trained research team, he has put together a book that can strengthen or repair any relationship. A must-read.”

“Not only has our marriage benefited from Gary’s teachings, but we also believe that the life-changing insights in this book will start a worldwide relationship revolution. Learn the dance steps in this book, and all of your relationships will be greatly enriched.”

“Bravo! Gary Smalley has given us an answer for the current relationship crisis facing this generation. Grasp what he is saying about relationship DNA, and you will have the key to make every relationship a loving, lasting one.”

“We all want our relationships with our spouses, family, and friends to be strong and healthy. But too often we experience pain and brokenness. We know the frustration of wanting to communicate our feelings without hurting others. Gary reveals the core problem of relationship struggles and provides solutions that work.”

“With the institution of marriage at great risk around the world, the Smalleys have come up with a plan to help at-risk couples find peace and renewed love in their relationship. At the top of every pastor’s list of challenges is the question: What can I do to strengthen and stabilize the marriages and other relationships in my congregation? Now they have it-
The DNA of Relationships
!”

Visit Tyndale’s exciting Web site at www.tyndale.com

The DNA of Relationships

Copyright © 2004 by Smalley Publishing Group LLC. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph of Dr. Gary Smalley © 2004 by Jim Lersch. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph of DNA link © by Alamy. All rights reserved.

Author photo copyright © 2004 by Jim Lersch. All rights reserved.

Published in association with the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920.

Some of the names and details in the illustrations used in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of the people who shared their stories with us.

Designed by Dean H. Renninger

Edited by Lynn Vanderzalm

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the
Holy Bible,
New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the
Holy Bible,
New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

The DNA of relationships / Gary Smalley…[et al.].
      p. cm.
    Includes bibliographical references (p. )
    ISBN 0-8423-5530-8 (hc) ISBN 0-8423-5532-4 (sc)
    ISBN 1-4143-0419-6
    1. Interpersonal relations—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Smalley, Gary. II. Title: D.N.A. of relationships.
BV4597 .52.D62 2004
248.4—dc22                                                                             2004010263
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