The Doctor's Secret Bride (1) (28 page)

She glanced at Erik.  He stared back at her with tenderness and admiration brimming in his eyes.  Michelle knew at that moment that she had to tell him the truth.  He didn’t deserve this kind of dishonesty.  She could not continue with this lie.  Not after what they had shared in Boston.  Not after all the sweet things he’d just said about her.  And not after dragging Yasmine and Robert into her dark dungeon of deceit.  She hadn’t had time to warn Yasmine, but her friend had come through for her, as well.  Robert and Yasmine had proven their loyalty.  It was time she proved hers.

Coming clean was the ethical thing to do.  She didn’t think Erik would fire her since she took such good care of his daughter.  Precious’ happiness was the most important thing to him.  Although it may mean losing whatever it was he felt for her, at least she would regain her dignity.  She had no idea what he would do, but she had to trust in what they shared.

So when Mrs. Hayes announced that dinner was ready, it was with a prayer in her soul and a strained smile on her face that Michelle took Erik’s arm and allowed him to escort her into the dining room.

His eyes were warm as they stared into hers.  His hands were strong as they guided her.  He had shared his name and his body with her.  It would make her confession so much easier if she only knew exactly what was in his heart.

That part of himself he kept locked away from her.

It still belonged to Cassie.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Michelle pulled to a stop in front of Amherst Preparatory School just as a noisy cluster of kids came rushing through the double-doors.

Just in time, she thought, stepping out of the car.  Now that Precious was in school, she spent her mornings at the youth center buried in clerical work, sending thank you letters as the funds kept coming in, and getting things ready for the after-school kids.  She’d taken on a lot more responsibility since Rose had returned to teaching.

Since they’d been able to raise the funds they needed, she spent the early afternoons going over blueprints with Bill Wilson of Wilson’s Construction.  She was so excited that their plan for a new center was finally coming to fruition.  She was happy her nanny position allowed her the space and time to devote to her cause.  If she never did anything else worthwhile with her life, Michelle felt she would go to her grave contented that she’d done this good deed for the needy children in Manchester.

Maybe losing her job and hitting rock bottom was a blessing, for she could not have accomplished half as much for the kids if she was still in the corporate world.

“Hi, Michelle.”

Michelle turned as Belinda’s mother approached her from behind.  Maggie was the closest friend Michelle had on Jefferson Drive, so far.  Well she didn’t have a choice, actually, since Belinda and Precious were best friends.  She’d met some of the other parents when she and Erik had attended Open House at the school, but Maggie had remained her favorite.

“Hey, Maggie.  What’s up?”

“The weekend.  We’re leaving for Hampton Beach this afternoon to enjoy the fantastic weather.  It might be the last before winter sets in.  Are you guys going anywhere?”

Erik had told Michelle that he’d rented a cottage on Cape Cod, but it hadn’t been used because of the many upheavals this summer.  She would like to see what it was like on the Cape, how the folks on the other side of the tracks vacationed.  “Erik just came back from a week-long conference in D.C. last night.  He probably just wants to relax at home.”  She waved as she saw Precious and Belinda tumble down the steps of the school.

“Erik is one lucky man to have found you,” Maggie said.  “We were worried after Holly left, but you’re great with Precious.  I don’t think I’ve seen her this happy since her mother died.”

Precious came up and wrapped her arms around Michelle.  “How was school?” she asked the little girl.

“Boring,” Precious and Belinda said in unison.

Michelle and Maggie rolled their eyes, and laughed.

“Now that the girls are in school, we should plan some lunch dates and shopping sprees,” Maggie said.

A week ago, Michelle would not have been able to afford it.  But since she’d become Erik’s secret wife, he’d deposited a huge amount of money into her account.  He wanted her to feel like his wife, at least in one other aspect than the bedroom.  She could walk away today and be good to start over anywhere in the world, but she won’t trade Precious and Erik for anything.  “Sounds great,” she told Maggie.

“I’ll call you.”  Maggie grabbed her daughter’s hand.

“Bye, Belinda,” Precious called as Belinda and Maggie walked to their Volvo SUV, loaded with weekend luggage.

“Bye, Precious.  Have a fun weekend.”

Michelle helped Precious into the car.  “So school was boring, huh?” she asked as she leaned over to buckle her seatbelt.

Precious grabbed her around the neck and planted a sound wet kiss on her cheek.

“Whoa, what was that for?”

“Cause you look like you could use a hug.”

“Oh, I do, do I?”  Michelle rubbed her nose against Precious’.  She did need a hug to calm the quivering in her stomach.  She was going to tell Erik about her father, today.

“So what’s the problem?  Want to talk about it?”

Michelle stared into her innocent, trusting eyes, marveling at her ability to pick up on her mood.  It was true when you were close to people, you could read them like a book.  When Erik didn’t come down for coffee this morning, she knew something was wrong.

“I miss hanging out with you all day,” she said closing the door, then quickly walking around the car to slide behind the wheel.

“I miss you, too.  Maybe we can do something fun like go see Yasmine and Peter or Uncle Robert,” Precious said with a hopeful lilt in her voice.

“We can, if your father doesn’t have any plans for you,” Michelle answered as she pulled out from the curb.

“Where’s Daddy, anyway?  He was supposed to pick me up.”

 Michelle had been wondering the same thing since Erik called and asked her to pick up Precious.  He’d said he was in the middle of something important.  “He’s at home.”

“Goody.  It makes me sad when he goes away.  Did your daddy go away when you were a little girl, Michelle?”

“Yes.” 
And I wish he’d stayed the hell away
.

“Did it make you sad?”

She slowed down as she approached a four-way stop.  “No, I had Uncle Robert to play with me.”

“I wish I had a little brother or a sister to play with me.  Then I won’t be so sad when Daddy goes away.  But you play with me, and I’m not so sad anymore, but I still miss my daddy, and my mommy, too.”

As Michelle eased up off the brakes and proceeded across the intersection, her heart ached for the child whose world had been turned upside down by the loss of her mother.  Even though she was trying as hard as she could to fill the maternal void, no matter how close they got, Michelle knew she could never replace Cassie in Precious’ life.

“I’m happy Daddy’s home.  Are you, Michelle?”

“Yes.”  She was both happy and nervous.  Telling Erik about her father was not something she was looking forward to.  All week long, she’d been rehearsing the speech she should have given last Saturday after their dinner guests left.

She was all prepped to confess that night, but while she was putting Precious to bed, Erik was called to the hospital.  She was asleep when he got home and then he left early the next morning.   She’d planned to tell him over coffee this morning, but he never came down, and had asked Mrs. Hayes to bring breakfast to his room for him and Precious.  He was still there when she left to take Precious to school and then go on to Manchester.

The only communication she’d had with him all day was when he interrupted her meeting to ask that she pick up Precious from school.  He was unusually vague, seemingly cool with her.  He was almost as aloof as the day they met.

Something had happened in D.C.  She was certain of it.  She’d been living with this man for more than two months.  He had a routine.  This was the first time it had changed.  No running, no lingering over the paper and early morning coffee.

A lot had happened since Boston, she realized.  Danielle’s death and the conference had kept him preoccupied.  But now that he had time to reflect, she wondered if he were having second thoughts about his impulsive behavior in marrying her, making love to her.  Did he feel he’d betrayed Cassie’s memory by remarrying before her case was solved?  She had no idea what was going on in his head, and it was making her crazy.

“Why’s Mommy’s car out?”  Precious asked as Michelle came up the driveway and parked behind the fire red Porsche that had been garaged for probably over two years.

As Precious bolted out of the car, Michelle watched Erik deposit an armful of clothes into the trunk of the Porsche.  He slammed it shut and turned around just as his daughter threw herself at him.

“How’s my baby girl?” he asked hugging her to his chest and planting kisses on her face.

Michelle wished his love for her could be as open and wholesome as it was for his daughter.  Her mind burned with the memory of being held against that strong naked body, the thrill of his mouth on hers and on every other crevice of her body.  Her blood soared as she recalled the raw passion that had consumed them.  Her whole body ached for his touch again.

Over his daughter’s shoulder, Erik met Michelle’s gaze as she leaned against the hood of the Jaguar.  The longing he saw in her beautiful black eyes stirred a primal need deep within his own soul.  He’d missed her something fiercely while he was in D.C.  He’d dreamed about her every night and thought about her all day, so much that he’d been unable to concentrate on the brilliant and informative lectures going on around him.

Then yesterday, he’d finally cornered Clayton and demanded answers.  It wasn’t even close to what he’d expected, but it had, nevertheless, left him wondering if he’d ever be able to trust, much less love another woman again.  He even thought of annulling his secret marriage and letting Michelle go.

God, he still couldn’t believe what Cassie had done.  How she’d deceived him for five long years, just because of something some stupid psychic had told her.  If she’d only trusted him.  So full were his anger and sadness, he’d no will, no energy to get out of bed this morning.  He hadn’t wanted to see Michelle.  He hadn’t wanted to see anyone.  He’d just wanted his head and the world to stop spinning.  He’d felt as lost and hopeless as the morning after Cassie’s death.

But when Precious bounced into his bed, shrieking with joy that he was home, Erik knew he had to go on for her, just as he had two years ago.  When she began babbling about all the fun things she and Michelle did while he was away, hope rose in Erik’s heart once again.  She was the happy, spirited child she’d been when her mother was alive.  He wanted to keep her that way.

And seeing Michelle now, his beautiful wife, with love in her glittering black eyes, Erik knew keeping her around was just as vital to him as it was to Precious.  He needed her to banish the pain, the anger, and the sadness from his heart, as only she could do.

“I need to talk with Michelle, Muffin.  Mrs. Hayes just took a fresh batch of chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven.  Tell her I say it’s okay if you have one with a glass of milk.”

Erik set his daughter on the ground then like a man on a mission, he closed the short distance between him and the sweet little woman he had grown to depend on so much—too much.   She smelled lovely.  He wanted to drag her into his arms, hold her close to his heart and kiss her senseless, but he couldn’t—not here.  “Thanks for picking her up at the last minute,” he said, smiling down at her.

“It was no problem.  She’s happy to see you.”

Her eyes looked vague, worried.  “And you?  Are you happy to see me, Michelle?”

She shrugged.  “I guess.”

“You guess?  You’re supposed to be happy to see me.  I’m your husband of just two weeks, Mrs. Michelle Juliet LaCrosse.”  He loved the sound of that name.

Her face took on a somber expression.  “I’m happy to see you, Erik.  The problem is I have to tell you something that could have a big impact on our relationship.”

“Are you pregnant?”

She shook her head.  “No, it’s nothing like that.”

A knot formed in the pit of Erik’s stomach.  He didn’t know if it was from relief or regret.  “So what else can you possibly tell me that could change our relationship, Michelle?  Did you accidentally tell someone that you and I are married?”

She folded her hands across her stomach and dropped her gaze.  As he watched her chest rise and fall with the effort of her ragged breathing, Erik knew it was big.  Fear came tumbling down on him.  He’d been gone a week.  What the heck could have happened to make her so distraught?  His hands went to her shoulders. “What is it, Michelle?”

 She lifted her head and stared at him through teary black eyes.  “It’s about my father.”

“Is he back from the dead?”

“Oh, Erik.”  She looked away from him.

Now he was confused.  “What about your father?”

“He’s alive.”

Erik dropped his hands from her shoulders as a cold chill swept over him.  “What do you mean he’s alive?  You and your brother,
and
your best friend sat in my house just a week ago and swore your father was dead.”

Her lips trembled.  “I’m sorry, Erik.  He isn’t dead.  I lied to you and I convinced them to corroborate my story.”

Not another lie from another woman he…
  Erik balled his hands into fists and closed his eyes.  “Why?”

“He’s made my life so miserable.  I told you how he used to hit me when I was a child.”

This better be good
, he thought, as he pinned her with his eyes.

“A couple years ago, he stole my debit card, figured out my PIN, which was my mother’s birth date, and cleaned out my bank account—all in one night.  I had a sizable amount of money saved—money I had plans for.  I didn’t know what he’d done until I stopped to put gas in my car two days later and couldn’t find my card.  When I called the bank and they told me I had seventy dollars and fifteen cents to my name, I almost died, Erik.  Then shortly after, I lost my job, my car, and my apartment.  I lost everything I’d worked so hard for—even my clothes were stolen from me.  If it weren’t for Yasmine and my brother, I probably would have ended up on the streets.”  The tears ran unrestrained down her face.