The Double-Jack Murders: A Sheriff Bo Tully Mystery (Sheriff Bo Tully Mysteries) (5 page)

Tully couldn’t believe it. Here were two of the deadliest human beings he had ever come across making fools of themselves over a dozen little sausages. He guessed he would never plumb the depths of human nature.

“So what brings you out this way?” Batim asked.

“The main reason we stopped by is I brought you a nice little dog.”

“Really? What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing’s wrong with him. It’s just that I’m away from the house so much I can’t take care of him. It really breaks my heart to give him up, but there’s nothing else I can do. So I asked myself, who could give Clarence a nice home? That’s when I thought of you, Batim.” He shot a look at Pap that said if you grin or say one word you’re dead. The old man had rolled his eyes toward the sky at first but now appeared perfectly sober. They walked back to the truck. Tully picked up Clarence and set him on the ground in front of Batim. The two of them looked at each other.

“He seems like a nice little dog,” Batim said.

Clarence wagged his tail. Batim reached down and picked him up. Tully held his breath. The dog continued to wag. Batim scratched him behind the ears. “Well, sure, I’ll take the little guy. I really appreciate you thinking of me, Bo.”

“It just occurred to me that you and Clarence had a lot in common.”

“So, other than Clarence, what brings you up this way?”

“Oh, Pap and I are picking up Dave Perkins to go camping with us. We’re heading up into the Snowies. Going to spend a few days at the campsite on Deadman Creek.”

Batim shook his head. “I don’t reckon that’s a wise move. Kincaid was born and raised in those mountains. He’s like a wild animal. You’d be a lot safer in town, Bo.”

“Batim, I’m not running off to hide from Lucas Kincaid! If he happens along, I’ll deal with him. By the way, you seen anything of Lucas?”

“Sure. He stopped by and visited shortly after he broke
out and killed them two guards. If I knowed at the time he had his mind set on killing you, Bo, I’d have put a bullet in him myself.”

“I appreciate the thought. Any particular reason he stopped by?”

“He wanted to pick up that stinky old cap of his, the red-and-black plaid one with the earmuffs that tie up on top. He gave it to me down at the jail when he was going to be locked up. I tossed it up on a shelf in the woodshed and forgot about it, figuring Lucas would be gone about forever. Suddenly, he’s at my door and wants it back. Says it’s his lucky hat. That raised a sweat on me, I can tell you, because for a moment I forgot what I done with it. Then I remembered. That’s why I’m still alive, I reckon. That stupid cap apparently means a lot to old Lucas. By the way, I don’t think Lucas has ever got next to a bath in his entire life. The smell of him almost buckled my knees. He stops by here again, Bo, you want me to kill him for you?”

Tully pondered the favor for a moment. “I guess not, Batim. That might complicate matters. I appreciate the offer, though. Of course if he were to threaten you, don’t hesitate.”

“Gotcha. Thanks for Clarence, Bo. I really appreciate it.”

“Think nothing of it, Batim. I’ll miss him but I know he’s going to a good home.”

They drove back toward Famine and to Dave Perkins’s House of Fry. As usual, the parking lot was full. The House of Fry offered the best and cheapest breakfast within a hundred miles.

“How about you buying me some breakfast while Dave gets his stuff packed?” Pap said.

“If I know Dave he had his stuff packed and ready to go last night. Nothing he likes better than a camping trip.”

“He don’t seem to like violence. You ever notice that? A fight starts or something, he walks away, gets in his car, and drives off. I seen him do it more than once.”

“I don’t blame him. You’re probably the one in the fight, Pap, or at least the one who started it.”

“Not always! I just think it’s strange a grown man like Dave walking away from a fight.”

“Hard to tell,” Tully said. “I think he worked for the government for a while, but he never says anything about what he did before moving to Famine. I suspect it was something that caused him to lose his taste for violence. There are folks like that, you know. Come on, I’ll buy you breakfast.”

“You’re just saying that because Dave never charges us. I think I’ll have the chicken-fried steak and hash browns with gravy. The chicken-fried steak is the biggest and best in the world.”

“It must be. That’s what the sign says. Dave wouldn’t lie about a thing like that.”

The restaurant was crowded with locals and apparently a few tourists passing through. Tully looked around for an empty table but found nothing. Then a man and his wife at the far end stood up. The man shouted above the roar of chatter. “Here’s one you can have, Sheriff! We’re just leaving!”

“Thanks, pardner,” Tully told him, ambling over.

“I never thought I’d get the urge to eat again after your Freezer Day,” the man said, “but danged if I wasn’t hungry again this morning.”

“Glad you could make it,” Tully said. He and Pap pulled out chairs and sat down. A pretty waitress came over, cleaned off the table, and returned with a couple of menus. She gave Pap a big smile. “You want the seniors’?”

“No, miss, I still go with the regular. The white hair is just part of my costume. What’s your name anyway?”

“Everyone calls me Missy.”

“Well, Missy, you are the prettiest girl I’ve seen in a long while.”

“Why, thank you!” she said, just as if she hadn’t heard the same thing from a hundred customers. She disappeared into the kitchen.

Dave Perkins walked over and sat down. “I wondered when you two characters might show up. I’ve got my stuff ready to go.”

“You packin’?” Tully asked.

“Armed to the teeth.”

“Good.”

The waitress came back to take their orders. Pap went with the chicken-fried and hash browns with gravy. Tully had two hotcakes and bacon.

“How can you eat bacon after seeing them little piggies?” Pap asked.

“Piggies?” Dave said.

“Yeah, Bo drove out to Batim’s place and gave him Clarence
and we got to see his piggies. I tell you, Dave, they are about the cutest little critters you ever seen.”

“Piggies?” Dave said.

When the waitress returned, she gave Pap another big smile.

“Missy,” Dave said, “I don’t want you flirting with this old reprobate. He came by last fall and ran off with my prettiest waitress. Said he needed a housekeeper! He’s nothing but a vile old man and you best avoid him.”

Missy laughed and returned to the kitchen. Pap watched her go. “I tell you this, Dave,” he said. “Deedee turned out to be not such a bargain as a housekeeper. She bosses me around from morning to night. You can have her back anytime.”

“Really?” Tully said. “And here I thought you were in love with Deedee.”

“What’s that got to do with anything? I’m in love with lots of women, but I can’t stand being bossed around.”

“It’s their nature,” Dave said. “I’d think you’d know that by now, Pap. So, what’s this I hear about us stopping by Quail Creek Ranch?”

“I thought we should stop for a visit,” Tully said. “I haven’t seen Agatha and Bernice since the last time we went quail hunting up there. You know they’re both getting well up in their eighties.”

“Right,” Dave said. “Now tell me about the girl.”

“What girl?”

“There’s got to be a girl.”

“Oh, well, I do recall something about Agatha’s niece staying at the ranch while Agatha helps her with her dissertation for a Ph.D.”

“I thought so. Pap, this girl is a knockout, right?”

“Knock you right out of your boots, Dave.”

“Hey,” Tully said, “this trip is not about women. It’s to get off by ourselves in the mountains, do a little fishing and gold prospecting, and just generally relax.”

“So why is it we need to be armed to the teeth?” Dave said.

“I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.”

“Yeah, everybody around here knows Kincaid has sworn to kill you, Bo. Half the town is rooting for him and the other half for you. So your idea is to lure him out into the mountains.”

“That’s right. And arrest him.”

“I bet. You figure if he shoots you, Pap or I will get him.”

“That’s not why I’m taking the two of you.”

“You mean, what if he shoots Pap and me first? He knows we’re both better shots than you.”

“Now you’re starting to get the idea.”

TULLY TURNED OFF
the highway, and the truck bounced and twisted the three miles up the rutted dirt road to Quail Creek Ranch. An iron gate blocked the ranch’s driveway into the house.

“Hey!” Dave said. “Look at that!”

Half a dozen metal quail rose in flight across the bars of the gate.

“Pretty spectacular,” Tully said. “But I expected it to be. Agatha already told me about it. She said Bernice had started working on metal sculptures this past year and the gate was her first project. You know they were both my professors at the U. of I., don’t you, Dave? Bernice in art and Agatha in English.”

“Both of them are pretty famous as I recall,” Dave said.

“They really are. Agatha once even gave a lecture at Oxford. I guess the deans there are about the worst audience in the world. If they don’t like something they yell the speaker down and beat on their desks with their walking sticks or whatever they can find. And they don’t like much of anything. But they gave Agatha a standing ovation, something no one had ever heard of before at Oxford.”

“Pretty impressive,” Dave said.

“Oxford,” Tully said. “That’s in England, Dave.”

“I was wondering about that.”

“Me, too,” Pap said.

Tully and Dave burst out laughing.

Dave got out and opened the gate, and Tully drove through. The hills on both sides of the narrow valley were dry and barren except for sagebrush, rabbit bush, coarse grasses, and outcroppings of reddish rock. The narrow valley itself was lush and green. Quail Creek, almost hidden by alder and birch, assorted bushes, and thick patches of ferns, trickled over rocky beds and around small gravelly beaches. The branches of the large birch trees met overhead and created a green, leafy tunnel through which shafts of light penetrated and danced on the water.

Dave got back in. “The next gate is yours, Pap.”

Pap said, “Since you have to get out to let me out, you might as well open the gate yourself, Dave. By the way, this is the most beautiful ranch I know. I offered to buy it once, and the ladies said they would sell it to me but they got to live on it until they died and after that I could have it. I said, ‘No
way,’ figuring they wouldn’t kick off until after I did and I’d be out the money.”

“Good figuring,” Dave said. “The last I saw them, both Agatha and Bernice were still going strong. Looked like they might live forever.”

Tully said, “Bernice is a full-blooded Cherokee, you know that, Dave?”

“Yeah, we talked about it one time. She was interested in my Indian heritage.”

Tully laughed. “Your heritage is fake Indian. You tell her you discovered you were part Indian when you came up with the idea of turning that restaurant of yours into a casino, how you’re the only member of the Dave tribe?”

“I may have neglected some of the details. Until you prove differently, though, I’m sticking to my heritage.”

Agatha and Bernice’s house was low and sprawling and appeared almost to be growing out of the ground. Bernice came out of the broad doorway of the hay barn wearing a long leather apron and a red-and-blue bandana wrapped around her head. Her hair was long, totally white, and tied back in a ponytail. She waved and smiled and came toward them, taking off large leather gloves as she walked. “Bo, it’s so good to see you.” She threw her arms around him and gave him a hug so vigorous he could feel his feet almost leave the ground. She shook Dave’s hand and gave him a big smile. “I’m so glad you could make it, Dave.” She stood back and studied Pap, then yelled toward the house. “Nail down the furniture, Agatha, Pap Tully is here!”

“Very funny,” Pap said. “The only thing I’ve ever seen around here worth stealing is that gate of yours. I’ll probably sneak up here some night and relieve you of it. It’s much too nice a gate to leave in the possession of two vile old women.”

Bernice laughed. “I think there was a compliment hidden in there someplace.” She gave him a playful hit on the arm. “You must be getting soft in your old age, Pap.”

“That gate is truly a wonder,” Dave said. “It’s certainly worthy of the best quail hunting in the state.”

“Why the three of you get so much enjoyment out of killing those poor little birds I’ll never know, but I guess it keeps the quail and chukar populations under control. If any of you were better shots, I might start to worry.”

Agatha came out of the house and stopped. She put her hands on her hips and gave them a big grin. “I had no idea my bait would work so fast!”

Tully walked over and gave her a hug. “Bait?” he said. “What bait? By the way, is Bunny around?”

Both Bernice and Agatha burst out laughing. “Not at the moment,” Agatha said. “She drove into Angst to get some more printer paper. She’s closing in on that dissertation of hers. It’s wonderful, by the way, a study of the works of Rachel Carson and particularly the effects of
Silent Spring
on the use of pesticides. We probably wouldn’t have any birds left now, except for that book. We still have eagles dying of lead poisoning, of course!”

“Always the bird-hugger!” Pap said. “I see you ain’t
changed one bit, Agatha. You put your poor niece up to this mischief, knowing Bo’s weakness for beautiful women.”

“Pap, I can’t believe you would accuse me of such a reprehensible ruse. Anyway, you look as robust as always. Quite remarkable, considering that gorgeous housekeeper of yours. I really expected you to be dead by now.” She put quotes in the air around the word “housekeeper.”

“Actually, Agatha, I was going to mention Deedee. Now that you’re old and on the verge of senility, I would be most happy to lend her to you. Permanent! I’d even continue to pay her wages.”

Agatha pondered the offer for a moment. “I’ll have to think about that. Hey, it’s wonderful to see you fellows, even Pap. Come on in. I’ll have lunch on the table in a minute or two.”