The Everlasting Covenant (31 page)

“
As do I,
”
he said honestly.
“
The troop that rescued me, dressed in his lordship
’
s livery, was my brother
’
s troop. May the earl never know how much I owe him.
”

“
I am afraid, Dylan. Afraid of you, afraid of myself, afraid of what this sin will cost us all.
”

“
We have little, but it is a great deal more than I thought we would ever have. Anne, you need not be afraid. I will not allow you to be hurt by my own desperate need. I will take your love and let it make me strong.
”

“
I did not foresee this day,
”
she said, lying back in the pillows and resting her wrist across her eyes.
“
It was not the endurance of my f
eelings for you that I doubted –
I just did not think I had the courage of an
adulteress
.
”

“
I think, my love, that it is more wrong for us to be forever
apart.
”

“
Dylan, this cannot go on. We cannot be secret lovers again.
”

“
Perhaps not often,
”
he replied.
“
If the time is right, we will be together, and if the time is not right, we will be content with a glance across a room. I, for one, feel grateful to know our hearts are still entwined. I will let that be enough. Can you trust me, my Anne? If I swear that never again will I force my feelings on you in such a way? If I find a way to prove that the light in your eyes will be enough? If I show you that your smile alone will
--
Anne, my love, please believe me, I ached to have those things I have been without
--
England and your love.
”

“
Can you do it, Dylan? Can you force a smile when Lord Forbes puts his arm about my waist or kisses my brow? I am afraid. To see those angry, jealous eyes stare at me as if I have robbed you of something
--
I have only attempted to live the life I have been given. I only want to raise my children.
”

“
I will prove I can do it. I have a wife, you have a husband. You have children now,
”
he murmured.
“
I wish your children were of my loins, but I cannot change that. I know Lord Forbes is a decent man, and I would ever thank him, if I dared, for seeing to your needs when I could not, but I will not give you up, Anne. I cannot. If there is a moment when no one watches and I can hold you in my arms, I will.
”

“
Secret lovers,
”
she whispered.
“
Yet again.
”

“
If you say me nay, I will leave you alone. I love you.
”
He sighed deeply.
“
I do not want my love to hurt you.
”

“
Would it not be wiser to go our separate ways, live our separate lives?
”

“
Undoubtedly. Can you?
”

“
Nay,
”
she replied.
“
But while we selfishly take what we want, other lives might be damaged.
”

“
We will have to do all we can to prevent that. Our moments together may be a precious few. But if we are cautious, they will continue for a very long time.
”
He touched the curve of her jaw. To take her away from her child would destroy her, to shame her publicly would eat away at her love. To take her
would mean giving her up. He knew it now as he had never known it before.
“
It would be braver to flee,
”
he said.
“
But,
”
he relented,
“
the world is not large enough to escape the mighty Woodville clan, nor one of the richest earls in England. Anne, I would marry you if I could, but I cannot. Still, I need your love, if only the memory of our last kiss and the knowledge that there will be a next.
”

“
Things have not changed very much at all.
”

“
Not at all –
the choices are even the same,
”
he said, somewhat sullenly.
“
The torment of having nothing and pretending our feelings do not exist ... or this, however meager. Anne, I cannot help but feel you are meant to be mine. I will wait. Maybe our circumstances will change. God knows, they have changed enough in seven years, and I am still your slave. If you are ever afraid, you must tell me. But I cannot live without your love, Anne. It is the only thing I have had these many years. It is all I have now. I will keep you safe, whatever the cost. It has been a long time, can you trust me again?
”

She kissed his lips.
“
I have to trust you, Dylan. If I cannot trust you, I am living a life of lies.
”

She knew this was not an easy thing for Dylan, for he had no idea the son she protected was his own. She smiled, and, strangely, she did not feel guilt or shame. What they did was wrong, but their love was right. Her body told her so. She loved him, and her love was good and strong.

***

She was happier than she had ever been. Since the day she had chanced to meet Daphne deFrayne at Westminster, she had feared losing control of her emo
tions. She feared that first mo
ment when their eyes would meet. But having Dylan again, however briefly, had become the ballast in her unsteady life. She returned to his mother
’
s house only twice more. Dylan was correct, their embraces would be few. But Anne thrived on those moments. She found she shared Dylan
’
s opinion
--
a few stolen moments and the knowledge that their love was true and en
during were so much better than the torment of having nothing at all.

“
Lord Forbes returns this week, Dylan.
”

He kissed her cheek.
“
So we will be apart for a long time.
‘
Tis well. The babe grows larger in your womb and you must not take these risks. But
I
will be waiting. Near.
”

“
I
wish I could be with you always.
”

“
Someday, my Anne. I will be waiting for our someday. You have many blessings to account for. And
I
--
I have more than I dared hope.
”

***

Late in January in
I
466, four months after first seeing Dylan in his mother
’
s house, Anne stood beside the Earl of Ayliffe in the presence chamber of the king and queen while Dylan and Cameron deFrayne, with their mother, made their first appear
ance at the royal court. Anne
’
s burden was great and she ex
pected to go to childbed in another month. It had been many weeks since she had even seen Dylan and their last meeting had consisted of only a few private words and a quick embrace encumbered by her growing pregnancy.

Dylan graciously moved through the introductions to the Earl of Ayliffe, the Countess, and many other people he did not know. Anne
’
s eyes twinkled with pleasure. Selfishly, she was delighted to be able even to see him, to know he was safe and whole, to look at his handsome face again. She also believed his return would be good for England.

Later that evening, when Anne found an inconspicuous stool in a corner, Dylan approached her. There were many people crowded into the room, but the glow in his eyes was for her alone. He glanced at her enormous middle.
“
You are beautiful,
”
he whispered. He passed her a goblet of wine.

“
Thank you, sir. I was very proud to be a witness. Has any
thing of yours been restored?
”

“
Nay, nothing. But that is the least of my worries. You will have your lying-in soon, my love. I will pray for you.
”

“
Dylan, I will go to Ayliffe in the spring. It will be a long time.
”

“
Easier to bear now, I vow. I know the earl cares for you well, and I love you, my Anne,
”
he whispered, barely mouthing the words. She was not able to reply, for she faced the room at large from her stool, Dylan
’
s back was present to those who
might discern his secret message. But her eyes shone with secret happiness.

Before another word could be said, Anne
’
s eyes were drawn away as she saw her husband approach. Brennan joined them, placing a hand on Anne
’
s shoulder as he spoke to Dylan.

“
Anthony tells me you are old friends. If that is so, we are all glad you are home. And one day we must get deep in our cups and you will tell me the tale of how you managed the Ayliffe costume for your escape.
”

“
I am not the one to ask, my lord, but the lady whose nimble fingers fashioned the garments fr
om memory alone. My apol
ogies,”
he said, bowing deeply.
“
But I thank you for my life, however far from your plan it was to save me.
”

Brennan laughed good
-
naturedly. It had been five years, after all. And if Anthony Woodville
’
s sister could marry the king, surely Dylan deFrayne could come home.
“
I suspect it was all to the good.
”

“
Thank you, my lord. At the risk of being too forward, I would like to say that I have heard many flattering things about
you. Your reputation is strong –
you have a large force of arms.
”

“
I have been fortunate,
”
Brennan said. He glanced at his wife, and she placed her hand over his on her shoulder.
“
In many things.
”

Dylan chuckled, with not even the slightest jealousy. His restoration to England and his reunion with Anne had cured much of his anger and impatience. He was resigned. He had his country again, and Anne
’
s love. The wait might be long, but he was determined that one day he would have Anne for his own. Until then, Lord Forbes was an able caretaker.
“
That is very plain to see, my lord. I vow to wait until we
’
re better acquainted to tell you how much I envy you.
”

“
You needn
’
t sir. Every man in England envies me, and no one pretends otherwise.
”

“
It would seem the good lady is making her last appearance, while I am making my first. I wish you both good health, con
tinued good fortune.
”
He bowed briefly, turned, and blended into the crowd.

“
A pleasant young man,
”
Brennan said.
“
It is good that he is with us again. Anthony says he is strong.
”

“
Brennan,
”
she said, placing a hand over her swollen middle,
“
please take me to my bed.
”

He looked down at her and knew instantly, her time had come. He whisked her away to their lodgings and sent for the midwife, staying with Anne and holding her hand as she labored with the anxious child who came early, quickly and easily. Anne and Brennan were given a baby daughter. The little lass was born with her father
’
s reddish-gold hair, and her mother
’
s dark eyes.

Joy and pride filled her.
Two fine men love me,
she thought.
Should I be forlorn? Ashamed? I would give each what the other has if I could. I would give this kind and gentle husband the passion that is for Dylan alone, but it will not come. I would give Dylan this wifely service and loyalty, but it cannot be. Pray God I do not hurt either of them. Bless these tender mer
cies, and let me be strong.

The babe was named Deirdre Elizabeth Forbes and she thrived on her mother
’
s milk and grew fat. The queen sent Anne silver plate, Lord Rivers sent lace from Calais to fashion a baptismal gown, the Duke of Clarence sent a tun of good Burgundy wine, and the deFrayne family sent a rich, ornamented tapestry portrait of the Divine Mother and Child created by Daphne
’
s nimble fingers.