The Ex-Wife (18 page)

I sat there feeling fat and wanting to break down and boo-hoo. Instead I comforted my husband and told him we’d make it work.
We’d have to change our spending habits or whatever we needed to do, but we’d hold on to the property until the market turned
around.

He kissed me and I could tell he felt lucky to have me. I wondered if I should hold back my feelings about his failure to
answer his phone that day, especially knowing that I was eight months pregnant. I contemplated as I rubbed his shoulders and
finally I said, “I almost ran off the road today.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, out of obligation, but I could tell he wasn’t concerned.

“My brakes wouldn’t stop. I mashed down to the floor and I was still going over fifty miles an hour.”

He sat up and almost looked angry. He said, “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah, I got it towed. Aaliyah took me to work and Quentin brought me home.”

“Why am I just hearing about this?”

“I called you.”

“You should have texted me something that important.”

I just shrugged my shoulders. With your wife, a phone call should carry just as much weight as a text message any day. He
asked a bunch of questions about the brake failure, but I didn’t even know the answers myself. Finally, he held me tightly
like he regretted neglecting me.

I
took the entire day off to spend with Caron. I wanted to plan a fun weekend. Ever since he had been living with Cam, I liked
to do exciting things when he was with me. We’d probably seen more in the last seven months than we’d seen in his entire life
before. I’d be damned if I would hear him tell me some shit that Ayana was doing for him that I hadn’t done. I needed him
to always remember that I was his one and only mother. I didn’t want him to get twisted and confused because of what she could
provide financially.

I got up and started making pancakes because they were Caron’s favorite. He was still asleep. We’d gone to the movies the
night before and I was humming Beyoncé as I whipped up my baby’s favorite dish. He was truly the pancake gremlin. He would
be so happy when he woke up.

It was just a little after eight and someone banged on the door like the police. I huffed. Who could this be and why were
they here? I had on a short pink terry cloth robe and my hair was clipped with pins all over. My fluffy slippers shuffled
across the hardwood floors as I tried my best to be silent. I don’t know why I was trying to pretend I wasn’t there. Maybe
it’s because whoever was at my door had no business being there. I stood on tiptoe to look through the peephole.

Cameron.
What the hell was he doing here? Maybe he missed being with me and Caron. I opened the door smiling. Cameron busted in the
house like a hurricane. He was loud and aggressive, unlike I’d ever seen him before. I didn’t even know what he was saying.
He yanked my robe with one hand, jacking me up against the wall.

“Bitch, I will fucking kill you if you keep this shit up, you hear me?”

My eyes shifted from side to side. I wasn’t sure what he was referring to. I said, “Cam, get the fuck off of me.”

“Stop fucking with me, Yasmin. Stop fucking with me and I mean it.”

He looked like a lion, as if he could rip me to pieces. My heart jumped out of my chest. I thought he was going to hit me.
I closed my eyes, preparing for the shock. Caron came running down the stairs. He had bass in his voice as he shouted, “Dad!
Dad!”

Cam let me go and looked like the demon inside of him had temporarily jumped out. He looked at Caron and said, “Go back upstairs.”

Caron demanded, “Let my mommy go.”

“Go back upstairs, this is grown-ups’ business.”

Caron ran down the stairs and attempted to kick and hit his father. Cam lifted him by the arm and said, “Go upstairs and let
me finish talking to your mom.”

Tears rolled down Caron’s face and I could tell that he was hurt that he couldn’t help me. He headed back upstairs but his
eyes pierced his father like bullets. He had turned on Cameron and I couldn’t blame him.

Cam pointed at me and said, “I will make sure they don’t find your ass. You hear me?”

He stormed out the front door and my nerves were still jumping out of control. I sat at the kitchen table crying and shaking.
My baby sneaked back downstairs and looked at me compassionately. He touched my shoulder and peeked through my hands covering
my face. He said, “Mommy, don’t cry. Daddy didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t know, honey.”

“It’s going to be better.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want you guys to fight anymore. Why can’t y’all just be together like when I was young?”

“You don’t remember that.”

“Yes I do. He used to love you and you loved him. I remember. I want it like it used to be.”

“That’s impossible. Your father has a new wife and another baby on the way.”

He held me and said, “You want me to be your husband?”

He made me smile and that decreased the trembling in my hands. I still couldn’t believe Cam. I pondered whether or not I should
press charges. I’d never seen that look in his eyes, not even when I told him I wanted to break up. Cam had always been reflective
and patient. He didn’t act on impulse, which was one of the reasons I’d wanted to leave him, but the monster that had torn
through my home was a stranger. I’d never seen that man in my life. I was concerned for my safety and the safety of my son.
Nothing I’d done warranted his threatening my life. I hadn’t even bothered them in months. I’d been busy trying to move on
with my life and get back on the dating scene. I had been going to therapy once or more per week and I was feeling more positive
than I had in a long time.

At that point I felt afraid and harassed. If I needed to, I would run off with Caron again. I refused to drop him back off
to those lunatics. The entire appeal process for getting Caron back was taking too long.

I picked up the phone and dialed 911. When the officer arrived at my home, I told him the story and Caron chimed in.

“He was choking her.”

The officer asked, “Was he choking you, ma’am?”

I contemplated and I said, “Yes, he was choking me and he threatened my life.”

“OK. Do you feel safe here?”

“No, I’m not sure. I’m supposed to see him tomorrow to drop off my son. I don’t know if I want to do that.”

He basically told me that I had to take Caron back, especially if it was court-ordered. Otherwise I would be in trouble. He
suggested that I have someone else take him instead. The court system was messed up. This man could come threaten my life
and that had no impact on custody until we went back to court. This was unbelievable.

He then said, “I will issue a warrant when I get back to the station.”

“For his arrest?” I asked, shocked. Suddenly realizing what I’d just done.

“Yes. It sometimes takes a day or two to filter down, so they won’t immediately go to his residence. I’m not sure if you want
to handle this in front of your son, but you can always call the station and let them know where he is if you know. You definitely
don’t want him roaming around, especially if you feel in fear of your life.”

“Is he going to jail?”

The officer nodded in confirmation. I glanced at Caron and his eyes were full of water. It hurt me to see him this way, but
why would Cameron come in here like that knowing Caron was here? Why had he put all of us in this situation? I didn’t feel
good about what I was doing. Did I think Cam would ever hurt me in a million years?
No.
However, the other guy who had come in here was probably capable of a lot. Would I be stupid not to report this?
Probably.
After giving it some thought, I proceeded with signing the statement. After the officer left, I called Tayshawn. He was already
in the shop and picked up on the first ring. “You must be missing me, boo.”

“You know I am.”

When I told him about Cam, he gasped and huffed and continued to do it over and over again without saying a word. I needed
him to say something. I needed him to make me feel crazy or confirm that I’d done the right thing. He said, “Yasmin. You are
playing with fire. You have tested that man’s ego and I think you need to stop. You know I’m ride or die for life, but it
sounds like he’s tipping. You ain’t going to win. Just stop.”

“But, Tay, I haven’t done anything in a long time.”

“Now, Yasmin, you don’t have to lie to me. You keep something going on Twitter about Ms. Ayana.”

“Yeah, but that’s not that big of a deal. Not enough for him to try and kill me. I was scared.”

“I bet you were.”

“You should beat him up for me,” I said.

“Oh, honey, a lady never fights a man.”

I laughed. “You are so crazy. You still got strength like a man. Right?”

“Only when necessary. I couldn’t fight Cammy-Poo if I wanted to. I would be rubbing on those abs.”

“You are so silly. I knew you would make me feel better.”

I asked if he would drop Caron off for me so that I wouldn’t have to see Cameron and he agreed. I hated that my few days with
my son had been tarnished with his drama. It annoyed me. I logged on to Twitter and tweeted:
SO TAKING MY SON WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH, NOW YOU WANT TO WHIP MY ASS?!?!?!

Within seconds, people commented. They wanted to know more. Everyone knew that my ex-husband was Ayana Blue’s new husband
and women soaked up the drama like a sponge. Tayshawn called me back and said, “Yasmin, what is wrong with you?”

“What? I didn’t do anything.”

“I’m really starting to think you are crazy.”

“Why?”

“Take that shit off of Twitter.”

“Why?”

“If you don’t know why, herein lies the problem! Don’t you think that is inciting him?”

“He doesn’t follow me. Plus, my therapist told me that posting my thoughts to Twitter was better than acting on them.”

“Yasmin!” he shouted as if to shake me through the phone. “I don’t believe your therapist condones harassing them on Twitter.”

True.
Still, he’d told me to express myself and that was all I was doing. So I left the tweet there and took pleasure in reading
the comments bashing him, and her for stealing my husband. I loved that women were always eager to take the scorned woman’s
side.

T
he dealer called Saturday morning to let me know the brakes had been tampered with and suggested I file a police report. As
I stood there confused, explaining to Cameron what they suspected, he didn’t say a word. He just shook his head. It seemed
that he was holding back his true emotions—that the pain of the whole situation was about to make him explode just as it was
doing to me. A few minutes later, he got up and left the house.

When the police officer came to the house, I felt alone. Here I was being tortured by Cam’s ex-wife and he was nowhere to
be found. The officer was kind enough to let me know that these types of incidents were not their top priority. He promised
they would question Yasmin and ask people in my neighborhood if they’d seen any suspicious activity around the house. I got
the strong impression that would be the extent of the investigation. It seemed that someone had to actually kill you before
justice was sought. I was sick of the legal system and wished I could take matters into my own hands.

I went up to take a nap, hoping I could just sleep away all my problems. When I awoke, it was three hours later and Cam still
hadn’t returned. So I gave him a call.

“What are you doing?”

“I went to the gym for a little while. I had to work out to relieve some of this frustration.”

“Baby, come home. Let’s go to Babies“R”Us and finalize our registry. We need to do something to take our minds off of everything.”

“You’re probably right.”

Not only was Cam’s business plummeting but so was his patience with the entire Yasmin situation. Despite everything that was
going on I was here for better or worse and I wanted to make it all better. We were five weeks from becoming parents and I
didn’t want the joy contaminated with all the problems we were going through. We deserved more. Whatever financial problems
we were having were temporary. I had faith in Cam’s business savvy and I knew everything would come back around.

He walked into the house, looked at me, and said, “I promised to take care of you.”

“Listen, you are taking care of me. I know you love me. I know you’re committed to me. I know you are a good man and that’s
all I need.”

“I want to give you everything I promised when I met you.”

“I didn’t fall in love with promises. I fell in love with a person. A man with character and respect. I wasn’t excited about
your car or your house. I was excited about you, the morals and values that you have. I fell in love with the same thing that
everyone sees in you.”

I noticed a smile peeking through the cloud hovering over his face. There was nothing bad that I could say about him. Though
I had often contemplated giving up, I assured him that I was in this for the long haul. He had shown me what good men were
made of. I rubbed his back. We were about to experience something big and I didn’t want us to lose sight of that. The most
important thing was that I had made it home safely. But I couldn’t help feeling nervous about this whole thing. Yasmin was
a very sick individual. The fact that she had done something that could have killed me and my baby was unnerving. I didn’t
plan to leave the house until after the baby was born. Quentin had already spoken to my stand-in host, letting her know that
I would be going out on maternity leave.

I needed to take a seat after walking from the parking lot to Babies“R”Us. Cam stood beside me in the registry area, holding
my hand. I asked for the scanner so I could add items to my list. The representative nodded in an irritated fashion. It was
too hot to even think about suggesting she fix her attitude if she planned to work in sales. Instead, I picked up a pamphlet
off the table and began to fan myself. The Atlanta heat was burning through my soul. Even when I was in air-conditioning I
was hot and it was just the first week in April. I wanted to just jump into a freezer and stay there until my baby was ripe
and ready.

After she took forever to program my scanner, I was back up and on my way. It seemed as if we came to Babies“R”Us nearly every
day. It was therapeutic for the both of us. I always felt calm and celestial when I was there. Early on in the pregnancy,
I’d started my registry online, but coming into the store was so much better. I imagined how the baby would smell and how
he would look. Cam and I created an e-mail address for him as soon as we found out we were having a boy and decided on his
name. We’d both send e-mails about our feelings to him. It was interesting to read Cam’s messages. He would often say how
much he planned to love the baby and how his love for me got stronger every day he watched me grow. That flattered me. We
planned to compile the messages into a book when our son was old enough to read it. I always sent a message when I left Babies“R”Us,
because I felt more eager then to meet and touch him.

We explored every aisle as if we hadn’t seen it all before. Our clasped hands swung back and forth like those of teenagers
in love. Cam always scanned Onesies. We’d probably listed a desired quantity of about twenty. I laughed at him.

“I’m telling you. We need all of these we can get. I remember when Caron was a baby, I felt like he used ten a day,” he said.

“That’s impossible, Cam.”

“He had bad reflux so he threw up a lot and all I remember is changing undershirts.”

The smile disappeared as I visualized Caron as a baby. I tried to imagine Yasmin as a normal person and how she and Cameron
had interacted. Had he been this loving and caring to her? Had he seemed as ecstatic about the birth of Caron? I looked at
him and asked, “Did you do this with Yasmin? Were you this supportive?”

He stared at me and raised an eyebrow. His nose turned up as if the sound of her name produced a funk in the air. “Why?”

“I’m just trying to figure out the source of her anger issues.”

“I don’t know. She could always snap at the drop of a hat, but she could manage it better. She was young and cute and able
to pull the wool over people’s eyes. Now she sees her good years fading away. I think she’s just desperate. I don’t think
she can find a good man and I’m the only thing she has left to hold on to. You know the saying, ‘You don’t miss a good thing
till it’s gone.’ Me being with you makes her feel inadequate and miserable. She’ll do anything to make us feel like she feels.”
He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Misery loves company, baby.”

“Yeah, very well said, honey.”

After strolling around the store I was ready to go home. My entire body began to feel heavy. Cam could read my breathing as
he suggested that he go get the car and I meet him out front.

We stopped to have lunch at a small café in the same shopping center. Cam ordered a dirty martini. I wished I could share
a drink with him. He seemed to really relax the more he sipped.

When it was time to pick up Caron on Sunday, Cam asked me if I wanted to go with him. He said, “I know if you’re there, I
will keep my cool.”

“Cam, you’re always cool.”

He laughed. “Yeah, until someone messes with my baby.”

I agreed to go with him although I really didn’t want to see an attempted murderer. It really bothered me that I hated this
woman with a passion. It actually scared me. I prayed that I had enough sense not to kill her. One thing I knew for sure,
if she tried anything with my baby, I would lose it and not care.

As we approached the sheriff’s department, I noticed that Cam’s shoulders and arms tightened and his eyes narrowed. He couldn’t
contain himself. It seemed he hated her as much as I did. He pulled into the parking space and we sat there for nearly ten
minutes waiting for her. I asked him if he wanted to call her and he shook his head. I reclined my seat because I needed a
nap.

Suddenly, Cam mumbled, “What the fuck?”

I sprung up to inquire. He opened the driver’s-side door. “This is some bullshit.”

“What, Cam?” I asked, looking around to see what was going on.

Cam stepped out of the car and I saw Caron and a guy walking toward the vehicle. The man was smiling hard and switching his
hips even harder. He had muscles popping out of his tank top, and swished his hair back and forth as he talked to Cam. I saw
Cam nodding his head, as if to say, “Whatever, dude.”

Finally he and Caron headed back to the car. He opened the back door for Caron. I said, “Hey, Caron. What’s up, buddy?”

He looked through me and didn’t respond. He was often like that when leaving his mother so I didn’t think much of it. I turned
back around. Cam hopped in and we pulled off.

When we got back home, Caron ate dinner and we went out to Rita’s for Italian ices. Caron seemed to be rejecting Cam’s affection
also. I wondered what his mom could have told him to make him so cold. Caron’s mood would get better as the days went on,
but it was always an adjustment. As Caron’s stepparent, all I wanted to do was love and encourage him through this period,
but it was hard to connect with a child who didn’t want my love. All I could do was try to make the transition better.

Once we were in for the night, Cam and I were alone and free to discuss what had been said between him and the guy who had
dropped Caron off.

“That guy works with Yasmin. Here’s the problem. Yasmin has had dude pick him up from school before and I’ve asked her not
to do that.”

“Because he’s gay?” I asked.

“Partially, but mainly because he’s flamboyant. I don’t want my son around that. I mean, dude is like Yasmin’s best friend
so of course he’s going to see him, unfortunately, but I’m not cool with him picking Caron up all by himself. That shit ain’t
cool. You know what I’m saying?”

“Yeah, I get you.”

I was on my laptop and Cam was lying in the bed beside me. He looked over and said, “For the record, don’t have my son around
that shit.”

“Cam, I said I get you.”

He raised one eyebrow, looking up at me, and said, “I’m just letting you know.”

He smiled and started changing the channels on the television with his right hand and rubbing my stomach with his left. “You
know, it’s good to know that you’re in love with a good woman and know for sure that that woman is going to always do the
right thing for your little man.”

I placed my hand on his forearm and rested it here. I wanted him to know that I would, whether we were together or not. I
promised him that I wouldn’t make his life miserable just because I could. He looked at me as if he trusted me with his life.
It was amazing that he had left himself open for love again. Most men wouldn’t have after being with Yasmin. But I was sure
glad he had.