The Ex-Wife (15 page)

D
espite not having spoken to Yasmin, we showed up to court ready to fight for Caron. When we arrived, I was shocked to see
her. She looked gorgeous with a pretty smile and long flowing hair. She was caramel brown and looked almost angelic, which
was nothing like the terror I’d imagined all these months. I actually couldn’t believe my eyes. She could easily find another
man. Why was she so committed to getting Cam back?

She tried to explain her disappearance, saying that she was the best parent in the situation, but Cam’s attorney tore her
out of the frame. And just like that I became a wife and a stepmom in less than thirty days. I knew how important getting
his son was for Cameron, but I was really excited and nervous at the same time. While I counseled people about blended families,
I really wasn’t sure that I was totally prepared for this. Not to mention that Caron and I had never met. I was scared, but
I was open to the challenge. Cam seemed like a really good father and I wanted to support him. The judge granted Cam full
custody and visitation for Yasmin every other weekend. He also appointed psychiatric help for her. Yasmin claimed she was
already seeing someone, but the judge told her the therapist had to be someone he referred. She looked pissed, but I was happy
he’d done that. Every therapist is not equipped to help everyone.

She would have to turn Caron over within two weeks. Cam cried at the verdict and I was so happy for him. After listening to
Yasmin speak, our attorney said, “You should have never been with her.”

“I know,” Cam replied.

For some reason, he didn’t say it with enough confidence to make me believe he believed it. We had to wait for the clerk to
print out our court documents and Yasmin followed us to the clerk’s office.

She called his name in an argumentative fashion. “Cam. Cam.”

Our attorney advised him not to answer, so he didn’t. She walked behind him and pushed him. “Cam, I know you hear me.”

He turned around and shouted, “What?”

She looked like she was burning with pain when she said, “What kind of man takes a child from his mother? I never thought
you’d be such a sorry motherfucker!” She turned to me. “And you! Your day will come. You fucking take my husband away from
his family and now you want my child too? Bitch, you can’t have your own kids?”

I sympathized with her, but I knew she wasn’t in her right mind and I wouldn’t be able to reason with her. She had a broken
heart, but I hadn’t caused it. I wished she knew how to let go, but letting go is so much harder when you carry guilt. Our
attorney pulled Cam to the side. “Don’t get into a shouting match with her. Let’s go.”

We turned around and kept walking. Then we heard a screech, almost as if someone had stabbed her. “Please,” she cried. “Don’t
turn your back on me, Cam.”

I could see that ignoring her was upsetting Cam. Speaking to the attorney, I said, “He may need to go back and talk to her.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Just as we were debating what should be done next, security guards surrounded and restrained her. My heart went out to this
woman. She noticed me staring at her and cried, “Girl power. Girl power. You’re a fucking hypocrite, Ayana Blue. You steal
my man and my baby!”

I hated that she blamed me for all her problems. I knew I couldn’t fix an imaginary gripe, but I wanted to sit her down and
let her know that I hadn’t stolen her husband or her child. It was a sad scenario, and so many nights I wondered how I’d gotten
involved in this complex relationship. God could have let me fall in love with any man in the world, but it had been Cam and
all his drama. Maybe I had a purpose here. I didn’t know.

Yasmin was restrained until we got on the elevator. Cam was the type of man who hated to hurt people and I could see the pain
in his face. I told him to let me know when he was ready to talk, then stayed silent until he did so. He asked if I wanted
to go to breakfast and I agreed.

He didn’t mention Yasmin or the verdict until we sat at the table. When he spoke, I already knew what he was thinking. “I’m
happy but it’s hard to see her like that.”

“I know. It was hard for me too. It really upset me when she said I’m a hypocrite because I do believe in girl power, but
I don’t believe women should use their power to be manipulative.”

He reached across the table and held my hands. “That’s why I had to make you mine. You don’t think like most women. You have
your own philosophy. I think every woman in the world needs to hear what you have to say.”

“Yeah, but sometimes it’s discouraging because it’s only the women who want better that will read my books. All the others
think that what they’re doing works. It actually hurts when I see women in the way of their own happiness. Staying stuck in
a situation or absorbed in regret. It will tear you apart and you’ll spend months and years angry, instead of just letting
go.”

“Right, and I would have never tried to get custody of Caron if she hadn’t tried that disappearing shit. I can’t have my son
in an unstable situation.”

“Honestly, none of it is healthy. You know you don’t want to strip a child from his mother, but you don’t want a bunch of
inconsistency either. It’s just so hard.”

He nodded. I knew this was hard for him. It had to be challenging to see someone you had once loved and thought you’d spend
the rest of your life with acting like a crazy person.

After breakfast we went furniture shopping. We’d been slowly decorating the house. We’d had an interior designer come in and
we were pretty much done with the first level. A lot of the pieces and art had yet to come but when it did, the house was
going to be fabulous. We were moving my living room furniture from the family room into the study. The sixty-five-inch flat-screen
TV was going into the man cave in the basement, so Cameron wanted to find another one. He was so obsessed with electronics
it drove me crazy.

We went to a kids’ furniture store to buy Caron’s bedroom set. When we got there, I started to feel like this would be too
much change and I said, “Cam, maybe we should just move his furniture from your town house?”

“Nah, I plan to keep that place for times that I may want to crash there.”

“That’s cool, but if Caron will be in school out there, you’ll have no reason to stick around in Atlanta until late.”

“Yeah, maybe, but I still want to get him something new.”

“This is my professional opinion, not something I’m pulling out of a hat. I think that would be too much change for him. A
new house. A new woman in his life. A new bedroom set.”

Cam looked at me like I was a lunatic for saying these things. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he asked.

Up until this point, Cam had never spoken a harsh word to me. I was shocked and didn’t know how to respond. I wasn’t sure
I
should
respond, because clearly he was tripping.

My bottom lip sat paralyzed for a second waiting for an apology, but he just shook his head. I turned around and walked to
the car. I sat there waiting for him to come out. I understood that he was also dealing with the pressure associated with
the change and wondered how all this would work. I was sure he had a bunch of worries and concerns that he wasn’t capable
of expressing, but there was no need to take it out on me. Still, when he came out of the store, he didn’t have an apologetic
expression. He said, “Let’s go.”

I sat in the car with folded arms. I didn’t want to be bothered. Here I was taking the only morning I had in the office to
be there for him and he snapped at my professional opinion.
Cool. Don’t ask me shit else!
My mind was racing and regretting and reconciling. Then I told myself there was no need for all this. The first altercation
or harsh words in a relationship were probably the hardest to deal with. I worked with couples every day and knew they all
fussed and fought, but it didn’t feel good coming from my Prince Charming.

I stared out the window, hoping to soak up some wisdom from the sun. The longer we were silent, the more questions swirled
through my brain. Finally he reached over and put his hand on my thigh. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken my frustration
out on you. I’m really excited about getting Caron and I just want him to have a fresh start. Everything new.”

I nodded. That is where most parents make their mistake. When kids have a major transition, the last thing you want them to
do is have everything new. They need to have something familiar.

“I know how you feel. I was just offering my professional opinion.”

“But I didn’t ask for your professional opinion. I want to buy something nice for my son. I can afford it. What’s the problem?”

“No problem,” I said absolutely.

I was done with it. He wasn’t paying me for my professional opinion so I was going to keep my mouth shut.

We didn’t talk for the rest of the ride to the radio station. When he pulled up, he said, “I’ll be back to pick you up. I
have to go settle everything with that land auction and I’ll be back.”

“If you’re not done in time, Aaliyah can pick me up.”

“I’ve already won the auction. I just have to hook up with my investors to pay it off. No longer than a few hours.”

I still had an attitude, so I shrugged.
Whatever.
I’d rather ride in the car with my sister than deal with his nasty disposition. I set one foot out of the car and he grabbed
my arm. “Love you, hear?”

I smirked. “Yeah, love you too.”

“Give me a kiss,” he said, leaning toward me.

I gave him a peck and got out of the car. All my wisdom was telling me not to be upset, but I couldn’t resist it. I walked
into the station and saw Quentin and he could tell something was wrong. From the day I’d met Cameron I had been beaming, and
today there was a dark cloud over me. I questioned everything. I’d initially believed Cam’s ex-wife was the primary issue,
but here his son hadn’t even moved in yet and I was being confronted with the biological parent overprotection issue.

In most blended families, the biological parent overprotects the child, forcing the stepparent to feel like an outsider. I
had thought Cam was too rational for that, and I prayed for this to be a one-time occurrence, but a large part of me knew
it wasn’t. I knew I was in for a wild ride.

Quentin said, “Are you OK?”

I nodded. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“What happened today?”

“Why?”

“We’re getting a bunch of messages about you guys getting custody of Caron.”

I took a deep breath. “What do you mean, messages?”

“A bunch of listeners want you to discuss how you can be a girl’s girl and take this woman’s child away.”

“Quentin, please tell me you’re lying.”

He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Ayana, I’m not. I don’t know what else to do. I think you’re going to have to address
it.”

“Why?”

“Your followers want to know and you have to address it.”

If Cam and I had been in good spirits, I would have felt better, but instead I wanted to throw my hands up and say, “Fuck
it.” I had no idea how I was going to broach the subject.

When I opened up, I said, “Good afternoon. I promised not to discuss my relationship on air, but today I think it’s important
for me to clear things up. I met my husband, Cameron Small, nearly four months ago. And we’ve been married now for three weeks.
He and his ex-wife were in a custody battle before I met him. I am merely supporting him. I have no intention of taking anyone’s
child. I believe that children should have a healthy relationship with both parents. If at all possible, I think parents should
try to make it work for the children. And if that isn’t possible, I feel that both parents need to work hard at making the
breakup as seamless as they can.”

Phone calls began to come through, and I wanted to be sure I answered each question with absolute compassion and as politically
correctly as possible. This girl was crazy and she was out to ruin me. I was thinking I’d made a big mistake.

Some women called with complete support and others defamed my character. It was a pleasure to hear my best friend Mandy’s
voice. She said, “Ayana…honey.”

The second I heard her voice, I could feel her arms telepathically surrounding me and my emotions welled up. “Is that you,
Mandy?”

“Yes, Ayana. I’m just calling to say I don’t know who started these rumors, but I’m calling to tell all your listeners that
you are the most committed person I know and even if it’s to your own detriment you are going to do what’s right. I will go
to my grave defending you because you are girl power. You are truly every woman’s best friend and that is not a role. That
is real. I love you. Keep your head up.”

I said, “Thank you, Mandy. For all of you wondering, that is my best friend Mandy from Martini Mondays.”

The power of a best friend can’t be compared with anything. I would have broken down if I hadn’t had my sister and my friends.
At the end of the day, whether this marriage was a bad decision or not, they were going to be there. Several of my friends
had sent text messages inviting me for drinks. My girls were slowly cheering me up. My real listeners were down for me too.
I gave it to God. He knew one way or the other what was best for me.