The Fading Trilogy: Fading, Freeing, Falling: Includes 2 BONUS short stories: Hoping and Finding Forever (112 page)

“Yeah . . .?” he responds.

“Look, I know the two of you are really close, so I feel like I should let you know that . . .” I pause briefly before admitting, “I really like her.”

“I figured as much,” he lets out with a chuckle under his breath. “Have you told her?”

I’m relieved that he’s being so relaxed about what I just said.

“No. I don’t know where her head is at. I’m not sure if she’d even be interested in anything.”

“I think she is,” he says, giving me hope, and then adds, “Look, I get that she’s closed off, but she wouldn’t be hanging out with you like she has been if she didn’t trust you.”

“She’s the hardest person I’ve ever had to read,” I admit with a laugh.

“I probably shouldn’t say this, but you need to know that she’s been going through a lot this year. It’s been rough, and I’m just gonna leave it at that. So if you’re anything less than serious about her, then don’t go there.”

He tells me this, and I try not to wonder too much about what’s going on with her, though I’m beginning to think that there could be a lot more to her parents than what I’ve seen.

“I hear you,” I tell him.

“I’m serious. She isn’t like most girls. She’s really innocent, so don’t push her,” he warns.

“It’s not like that with her.”

“I don’t mean to sound like an ass or anything.”

“Jase, man. It’s fine. I get it,” I tell him, and a part of me is glad that he’s being this way about her, that she has someone like him there for her.

“Mark and I are hanging out with his family, so I’ve gotta run. I’ll try giving her a call though.”

“Okay. Thanks, man. I’ll talk to you later.”

Hearing him assure me that I’m not wasting my time soothes some of the anxiety I’ve been having about Candace. This girl has woven herself into my life, and for a change, I want to keep her there.

Candace was a little antsy when I picked her up this morning. We’re running later than what I told my mom because I didn’t want to rush her. She didn’t get much sleep last night, so she just wasn’t herself, worrying about how she looked and wondering if my family would think she was rude since she tends to be quiet. I’ve never seen her so uptight, so I let her move at her own pace.

She fell asleep about halfway into the drive, and as I look over at her, she’s still sound asleep, sitting there in her modest black dress. She looks beautiful as she sleeps, but it bothers me to think that at this moment, she’s probably happier in her dreams than she is when she’s awake.

When we start getting closer to the coast, I decide to go ahead and wake her up. Trying not to startle her, I run my knuckles up and down her arm until I see her eyes start to blink open.

“How long have I been asleep?” she murmurs.

“A couple of hours.”

“Really?”

I smile over at her. “Really.”

She adjusts the seat and sits up to look out the window. The canopy of trees that hide the sky on the winding road through the mountains makes it dark.

“How much longer do we have to go?” she asks.

“About twenty minutes. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. I was really tired.”

“Music?” I ask and when she agrees, I tell her, “You pick.”

She takes my cell phone since she likes all my music and syncs it up with the stereo, selecting ‘Ride’ by Lana Del Rey. She sets my phone down and sits back as the music fills the car, and I enjoy the doleful, limpid melody of the song.

“You’re quiet over there,” I say after a while.

“Just a little nervous,” she tells me as she continues to watch the mist collecting on the window.

I give her knee a squeeze and say, “Don’t be.”

Seeing the unconvincing grin on her face, I decide to just let her be for the rest of the drive. When we arrive, I park the car and walk around to open her door. She’s not quick to get out, so I take her hands to help her down, encouraging, “Don’t be so nervous. Just relax.”

I laugh under my breath as I watch her fidgeting with the skirt of her dress, smoothing it down.

“Why are you laughing at me?”

“Because I’ve never seen you so wound up before.”

I take her hand and start walking her to the front door, but when she tugs back and stops, I turn to hear her say, “Ryan . . . I don’t do well around a lot of people.”

I try to coax her with my words, telling her, “My family will love you, but if you feel that uncomfortable, we can go. Just say the word.”

“No, I want to meet them, I’m just . . .”

“Hey, I’m right here. No worries, okay?”

“Okay.”

Holding her hand, I lead her inside as two of my nephews run through the entryway, chasing each other. I laugh and walk her back to the kitchen.

“Finally, you made it,” my mom says excitedly and rushes over to hug me, but I keep my grip on Candace.

“Mom, this is Candace,” I introduce, and my mom pulls her in for a hug as well.

“I’m so glad to finally meet you, dear,” my mom tells her, and she’s not even trying to hide that she’s thrilled with the fact that I brought a girl home and she isn’t some barfly.

My Aunt Carol brings me in for a hug, excited to see me, and before I know it, the kids all start flooding into the kitchen, screaming my name. I spot Sophie, one of my nieces, and pick her up as Tori and my other cousins’ husbands come in to say hi. Tori and my other cousin, Jenna, give me curious looks, and I try to ignore them, knowing they are just waiting to start digging into my business about Candace. I told my mom to discreetly tell my cousins to keep a tight lip so they don’t embarrass Candace, but I know Jenna and Katie, and those chicks are nosey.

When Sophie starts poking her finger in my ear, I catch Bailey, toddling over to me. Bending down, I scoop her up in my other arm, ravishing her neck with playful kisses as she squeals and giggles.

“You weren’t kidding,” Tori whispers to me as my cousin, Jenna, comes over to take Sophie out of my arms.

“What?” I question, trying to keep my voice under my breath.

She laughs, “She’s
way
out of your league.”

“Thanks,” I say with mockery.

“You know I’m teasing. She’s just . . . polished.”

“Tell the girls not to interrogate her.”

“Donna already said something, but you know how Katie is.”

“Where is she by the way?” I ask.

“Upstairs with Maddie. She had an upset stomach earlier.”

“My room?”

“Yeah.”

“Why is my room always the hot spot for everyone’s spawn when they get sick?” I joke and then turn to look at Candace, but she’s no longer in the kitchen, and I quickly realize, that in the madness of saying hi, I left her alone.

“Mom, where’s Candace?” I ask.

‘Ladies’ room,’ she mouths to me, and I walk down the hall to wait for her, feeling bad, and wondering if all that was too much for her. Who am I kidding? Of course it was. My family is big and loud, and Candace doesn’t even like being in a crowded coffee shop.

When she doesn’t come out after a few minutes, I gently knock on the door.

“Everything okay?” I ask as she opens the door. “When I looked up you were gone.”

“Yeah, just needed a moment to myself.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I’m just not used to . . .”

“I know.” I see that she’s a bit rattled, so I step closer to her and run my hands down her arms. “Do you need a few more minutes?”

“No, I’m fine.”

When we walk back into the kitchen, the kids are watching their movie, and the chaos has dissipated. I pour her a glass of wine, and hand it to her, whispering, “Come on,” in her ear. I lead her through the house, showing her around as I take her to one of the back rooms that looks out over the water.

We’re alone, and it’s quiet as we stand in front of the large picture window.

“Better?” I ask, and she smiles as she looks at me.

“I guess I didn’t realize how big your family actually is. I mean, you’ve told me, but . . .”

“It can be a lot,” I tell her. Having twenty of us here can be overwhelming. It’s more the women and kids. The guys are always laying low, trying to dodge the madness.

“This is a great view,” she says. “Have you always lived here?”

“Yeah.”

“Small town.”

“You have no idea,” I say with a hint of humor. “I used to spend most of my time in Seaside or Astoria. That’s where Tori’s from.”

“Is there even a school here?” she asks with a huge smile, finding it funny. Not a whole lot of people are permanent residents of this area. It’s mostly vacation rentals, but we’re one of the few that actually call it home.

“No,” I tell her. “The schools are in Seaside, but I went to private school.”

“Me too.”

We chat for a few more minutes, and when she seems more at ease, we head back. Tori and Jenna are sitting in the dining room when we pass through.

“Candace, come join us,” Tori offers, and when Candace hesitates, I tell her it’s fine, letting her know that I’ll be in the other room with my mom. I know Tori is curious about her, and I also trust her enough to know Candace will be fine.

I find my mom in the kitchen, working on dinner. It’s just the two of us, and she stops what she’s doing as we lean against the counter and talk.

“How did this morning go with the kids?” I ask, a little bummed that I wasn’t here.

“Anarchic,” she laughs.

“I bet.”

“They missed you.”

“I have all their presents outside,” I tell her. “We can open them later.”

She takes a sip from her glass of water, and then asks, “Where’s Candace?”

“Dining room with Tor and Jenna.”

She nods her head with a smile, and I know she’s biting her tongue, so I tell her, “Just say it.”

“What?”

“Whatever it is that has you looking at me like that, Mom.”

When she sets her glass down on the counter, she reveals, “She’s different than I was expecting.”

“How so?”

“Just . . . different.” When I narrow my eyes at her, she grins and assures, “It’s a good thing, dear. Relax,” before patting my arm a couple of times and walking away.

“Where are you going?”

“Dining room to visit with the girls.”

I let her have her time with Candace, even though I feel like I want to go in there and check on her. But I don’t. Instead I busy myself with Connor, helping him out with a puzzle on the floor. When I look up, I see my mom and Candace passing through the kitchen. She catches my eye, and I give her a small half grin as they walk through, heading to the study. I like seeing her here, with my mom, in my familiar surroundings, mixed in with my family.

Candace is now in the kitchen, helping Mom cook while I drink a beer and hang out with the guys. I can’t keep my eyes off of her as I watch her laughing with my mom while they get everything ready for dinner, and I know instantly that I want to see this again. Have her here again.

She makes me nervous because she has this power about her that is dragging emotions out of me when no one in the past has been able to. She has no clue what she’s doing to me, and that’s a scary thing when I think about admitting how I’m feeling about her.

After a while, I unload the gifts and let the kids open everything. My mom was right—they’re much crazier than they were last year, but they’re another year older, and I’m sure next year will be even wilder. Candace sits on the couch with Tori while they laugh at me being overtaken by the little ones.

When dinner is done, Candace excuses herself to go upstairs to relieve Katie from mommy duties. Her daughter, Maddie, hasn’t been feeling well all day, and Candace told me that she needed some quiet time, so she’s up in my room with Maddie, and Katie is finally getting to eat dinner.

My aunts are cleaning up, Jenna and the guys are getting all the kids ready for bed, and Tori and I band off into the study to talk.

“I got a job,” she tells me as we sit down.

“What made you decide to go back to work?”

“After you and I talked this summer, I decided to just be honest with Trevor. Told him pretty much what I told you,” she says. “He suggested the same thing. Thought I should get out of the house, get back into a routine. So I called my old boss, and it was as easy as that.”