The Fall Of Jacob Del Garda (4 page)

How many times had Sophie told her that she hadn’t given herself a chance to recover from the shock of her diagnosis. And that she hadn’t given Jacob a chance either.

"Look, I respect your opinions, but this is my life," Gabriella told her for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Jacob’s been trying to get hold of me... again," Sophie responded in a tone that meant business.

The weighty rock of guilt lay heavy in Gabriella's gut. "I want him to move on. Find someone else." Even as the words left her mouth she knew they were a bare-faced lie. Her eyes met Sophie's and she read a determination that made her mouth go dry.

Her sister leaned into her and her voice went low. "It's been over a year. He’s not giving up. He's not moving on, Ella."

Although Sophie didn’t say it, by her face Gabriella knew her sister thought that Jacob had the right to know the truth, to be given the opportunity to help her through this.

It was an old argument, one Gabriella was sick of repeating.

"I needed to get away. To come to terms with it on my own." Exhaustion, emotional and physical weighed Gabriella down. She stared unseeing across the swimming pool, the gardens and beyond. "I couldn’t do it to him."

She’d done the right thing.

Hadn’t she?

But deep down inside Gabriella knew she’d made a terrible, terrible mistake. By not telling Jacob the truth she’d made the nightmare for herself, and especially for him, a great deal worse.

And she missed him, so, so much.

"If the shoe was on the other foot would you want to be there for Jacob?" Eyes scanning her face, Sophie popped a fat strawberry in her mouth.

"It’s not the same thing at all." Gabriella knew her tone was defensive, but she couldn’t help it.

By the look on her face, her sister wasn't having it. "Why isn’t it?"

Gabriella shook her head. "He’s a man for one thing. It’s not relevant."

"You didn’t answer my question. Would you be there for him?" Sophie repeated the question, leaned back and settled down to wait.

"You know I would."

Hazel eyes narrow and thoughtful, her sister nodded. "So, how do you think he’s going to feel when he finds out?"

Gabriella didn't want to think about how Jacob was going to feel.

She rose and began to pace.

The morning chill on her skin had her rubbing her bare arms.

How would Jacob find out?

As of this week the only person who knew where she was, apart from Sophie, was Tobin and he didn’t have all the facts. He knew nothing about her illness. And they’d never, ever betray her. Would they?

She glanced at her twin who by her bland expression was having no trouble at all reading her mind.

"I would never judge you," Sophie said. "You know that. But you’ve not been thinking clearly for months."

"What do you mean?" Gabriella tucked her hands in the back pockets of jeans that hung loose around too lean hips.

"Look, you were in shock. Hell, we both were. But you’ve kept everything locked up inside you and it’s eating you alive. It’s time to face it."

Sophie stood, placed gentle hands on her sister's thin shoulders.

Gabriella’s throat closed and she clung to her twin’s slim wrists. "I don’t want to discuss it."

"Say it!"

How could Sophie shout at her like that?

A horrible mix of hysteria and fury roared into Gabriella’s brain.

She closed her eyes as a terrible shaking overtook her.

She was due test results on the following Wednesday. Her doctors were telling her not to worry or panic until she had something to worry or panic about.

Easy for them to say.

It was real. And it was happening to her.

A tsunami of terror washed away the last remnants of courage from her heart.

"Please, I can’t do this," she whispered brokenly.

Sophie forced her to look at her, and Gabriella read a firmness of purpose in those hazel eyes. "The more you confront fear head-on, the less scared and more in control you will be."

Gabriella felt waves of support and strength being absorbed by her mind, by her body, but she shook her head.

"Respect my feelings," she pleaded as her eyes stung. But she refused to cry. Crying achieved nothing. "Please, Sophie. Let me deal with this in my own way."

Sophie didn’t miss the threat of tears and heaved a big sigh. "You are one stubborn pain in the butt, do you know that?"

Gabriella shook with an unsteady laughter.

"Tell me about it."

"I love you." Sophie gave her a fierce hug. And they clung to each other. She took a step back and gave her a to-hell-with-it look. "I know it’s early, but we need a glass of wine."

Gabriella never drank much alcohol. She didn’t have the head for it, but she couldn’t help but grin.

"Help yourself. The fridge is fully stocked."

Gabriella sank into a chair and took a deep shaky breath.

That was Sophie all over. Her sister was a woman who went head to head with the worst life threw at her and dealt with it. While she, on the other hand, put on a front, always striving for perfection. Perfection in her life and in her work. It was part of her DNA to do her best in all things, like her modelling for instance. Her flawless skin and perfectly symmetrical features pleased the eye. Especially the camera’s eye.

The early struggles she and Sophie had endured after their parents accident had all been worth it. Through sheer hard work she was now independent and incredibly wealthy. And she’d had it all, a successful career, plus a fabulous man who’d loved her, with the perfect future all mapped out ahead of them. Until...

How the mighty had fallen so far and so fast.

But she wouldn’t think of that. Not now. Now was the time to keep thinking ahead, to remember the micro-steps she’d taken to rebuild her future.

A secret dream had been photography. To catch that special moment forever suspended in time. And she was good at it. Life, Gabriella now realised, was too short not to live each day as if it was her last.

Sophie came back with two large glasses of white wine, handed her one.

"Feeling better?"

Gabriella nodded, took a sip.

Too much of this stuff wasn’t a great idea.

But what the hell, she took another deep drink.

"If it’s bad news on Wednesday, you’ll need a support network," Sophie told her, keeping a wary eye on Gabriella’s glass. "You have the medics, the best treatment. And they’re making huge breakthroughs almost every week."

Gabriella nodded in agreement.

With a stubborn look in her eye Sophie continued relentlessly, "But what’s missing is the emotional support. You have me. But I am not enough."

Gabriella could see exactly where this was going. God, the woman simply didn’t give up. Placing her glass on the table, she shook her head.

"No. I won’t tell him. You don’t understand." How could she explain? Taking a deep breath, her eyes met Sophie’s. "Jacob had such big dreams, big plans. You know what he’s like. He’s like a heat seeking missile when he wants something. He wanted a large family, that’s not possible now. He loved how physically perfect I was for him. He loved my hair and every single thing about me. Especially my breasts." It was all too much. The reality of everything she'd lost, her dreams, the man she loved, hit her too hard. Her voice caught in a sob as she held her head in her hands. "Goddammit! I don’t have breasts now. And that’s just the start of it. I can’t put him through this. And to be totally blunt and horribly selfish, I can’t put myself through watching him go through it either."

Hot tears bled through her fingers as she finally, finally broke.

Sophie, cursing like a sailor, stood to pull her into her arms. "Me and my big mouth. I don’t mean to upset you, Ella. I’m here for you as long as you need me. Whatever you want is exactly what you’ll get. And if that means keeping Jacob out of it, then that’s what we’ll do."

Sophie suppressed a shudder at how thin and vulnerable her sister felt in her arms.

This whole thing was all wrong in so many ways. Gabriella was the strong one. This beaten and broken woman she held in her arms was so not like her. Gabriella was a fighter, a kick-ass girl.

Plus Jacob and Gabriella were made for each other, Sophie
knew
they were. If ever a pair were soul mates, not that she believed in such a thing, it was her sister and Jacob Del Garda.

The fear that had gripped her since she’d received Sophie's call less than three days ago, squeezed her chest. Christ, they’d thought they were over the worst of it.

And now this?

What would she do if anything happened to Gabriella?

It didn’t bear thinking about.

She needed to be strong for both of them, to make sure everything that could be done would be done.

Sophie hugged her sister tight, closed her eyes, and sent up a silent prayer to the universe for strength and guidance.

"So you've had no idea where she was or who she was with?" Josh asked Jacob as his knife slid butter over hot toast.

They were sitting in a cosy nook of the stunning dining room of Ludlow Hall. And Josh was enjoying every single moment of the rare pleasure of eating a full breakfast and being looked after by an attentive waiting staff.

Jacob shook his head, took a sip of strong black coffee. Talking about it was helping. Instead of his mind running the same thought loop over and over again and going nowhere fast.

He watched Josh frown as he dug into a small mountain of bacon and eggs.

They ate in a companionable silence until his friend shook his head.

"I don't get it. You say you never saw it coming, you were both madly in love, and yet Gabriella gave up the chance of a life with you, plus she gave up her career? Just like that?" Again Josh shook his head, wiped his mouth with a large napkin of crisp white cotton. "Nope. It's not jiving with me, buddy. You're a pretty astute guy, empathic. Look how you are with Janine and Boo? But you didn't once get a tingle that something was wrong?"

Jacob took a breath and met his eyes. "She met someone else," he growled.

Josh's eyes popped then narrowed. "She tell you that?"

"I asked her to tell me the truth, had she met someone else? And she did not deny it."

A waiter removed their empty plates, while another asked permission to top up their coffee.

Josh nodded his thanks and then leaned over the table. "What were her exact words?" he wanted to know.

Jacob was thinking that perhaps bearing his soul was not such a great idea after all, but his friend had the bit between his teeth. Josh was a detail man and he wanted to flesh out the facts.

"Her reply when I asked her if she had met someone else was,
'Something like that'
."

The memory of the moment the hurt hit him, a hurt that had never gone away, made his tone hard.

Josh's cup paused on the way to his mouth. He placed it in the saucer without taking a sip. His blue eyes went wide and serious.

"How upset was she? I mean was she trembling, teary-eyed? Or was she cold and clipped?"

The look in Gabriella's eyes that had haunted Jacob for too many months made him shake his head. "No. She was trembling, very pale. She had lost weight. And she looked..." he searched but couldn't find the English words to describe it. "Stricken, devastated, terrified."

Silence.

"You stupid bastard," Josh said, then held up his palms in the peace sign when Jacob would have spoken. "She played you."

An awful sense of unreality uncoiled in Jacob's gut.

"I do not understand."

Josh simply stared at him.

"She knew exactly how to wrong foot you, didn't she? She exploded a bombshell in the comfortable certainty of your life. Hit your ego where it hurt. And you let her walk out, just like that, without questioning who the man was, getting a name and all the deets? What is it with you Latins and the pride thing? She knew there was no way you would ever forgive betrayal. And yet she didn't
admit
to having an affair or meeting someone else.
You
jumped to that assumption, and
she
let you. Man, she's clever."

Josh let that sink into Jacob's stunned brain for a few moments before continuing, "Think about it. If Gabriella Dolman was seeing a new man it would be
all
over the tabloids. Plus, right out of the blue, she gave up her career. A stupendously successful career, by the way. A person only does that when a life changing event has happened to them. She's disappeared completely under the radar. Her sister's keeping schtum. Her agent knows nada. So something happened to Gabriella, something colossal and something she couldn't bear to share with you."

Jacob felt the blood drain from his face.
Cristo
, he'd been so stupid.

"But what?"

Josh pointed his finger at Jacob's chest. "
That
is the key question."

"I've been looking at this from the wrong perspective."

Josh shrugged. "She blindsided you, and you internalised it. I bet you've been one big angry mutha for months, haven't you? Snapping and snarling at anyone who wanted to help."

Remembering the fury, the heartbreak, but most of all the sheer helplessness, Jacob could not believe he had been so foolish.

His hands scrubbed over his face
. "Madre del Dio."

"What were you planning to say to her when you saw her again?" A relentless Josh wanted to know.

Jacob stared at him.

He had no idea, and hadn't given a thought beyond his own needs, his own hurts. He'd been going to face her, demand to know who she'd been with and where.

Josh nodded as if he was Yoda. "Thought so. You were gonna get all hot and heavy. Demand your rights and beat your big manly chest."

Shame burned a path up Jacob's neck, but he'd taken just as much as he could take for one morning. "What would you suggest I do when I see her?" he asked in a silky voice that held a warning.

A warning that his pal totally ignored. "I'd play it nice and cool," Josh suggested. "Greet her as if she's The Queen. Show her how delighted you are to see her again. Ask her how's she's been, and that you two should get together to discuss old times. You just want to know that she's happy. You know, stuff like that."

Silence.

The idea had merit.

But could he do it? Could he control himself, his emotions?

"
Gracias
, Josh. You have given me much to consider."

Josh stood and the look in his eye for his friend was not unkind.

"You have time to make a plan. If you still love her, want her, then you need to fight. And if that means fighting dirty then do it," he advised.

Jacob's fingers drummed on the table top. For the first time in months he felt he had a semblance of control. And he liked the feeling. He liked it a lot.

He signed the bill, and walked Josh out to his car.

"How are things progressing with you and Janine?" Jacob asked.

After giving Jacob his worldly wisdom on a woman this morning, Josh had the grace to blush at the shambles that was his own tricky love life.

"Sloooooow. I'm taking her to Coco's party. The only reason she said yes is because we're on a table with Nico, Bronte, Ethan and Louise. She probably thinks there's safety in numbers."

Since he'd been the recipient of straight talking, Jacob felt duty bound to offer his opinion.

"She is terribly vulnerable. And a very good friend. The thought of you
fighting dirty
with Janine would not be acceptable to me,
mi amigo
."

"No worries. But one day she's gonna need to get back on the horse."

Josh offered his hand in farewell and Jacob took it. "Ah, but it is up to her which horse she wants to ride."

"True. Same time tomorrow?"

"
Si
, thank you, Josh. One of these days you might win," Jacob said with his tongue firmly in his cheek.

Josh opened the door of his Land Rover. "Yeah, right."

Jacob stood and watched the Rover rumble down the drive of Ludlow Hall. His friend had given him plenty to think about. However, anxiety for Gabriella now replaced anger, along with too many unanswered questions buzzing around his busy brain. In less than eight hours he would see her again, and a heady excitement gripped him.

But one emotion outweighed everything else.

Hurt.

She'd hurt him. Deliberately and without conscience, and for that she would pay. And he wondered how Gabriella was going to explain herself, her actions, to his satisfaction.

Jacob couldn't wait.