The Fall Of Jacob Del Garda (9 page)

That would show her he was putting her needs before his own.

After placing a soft kiss on her mouth, he slid out of their nice warm bed.

Settling himself into a cold bed in a guest room, Nico lay on his back and wondered why the hell his chest ached so bad? 

Confused, Jacob's words spun in Gabriella's stunned brain as her eyes clung to his.

He wanted closure?

The tone of his voice was one she’d never heard him use with her before, and it broke her heart.

Did he mean what she thought he meant?

He wanted to make love with her?

And she admitted now that she wanted him so badly she could barely stand it.

The way his thumbs were stroking her jaw, her cheeks, was so wonderful she wanted to lean into him.

She'd missed him so damned much.

The scent of him made her dizzy. How could she have forgotten the sensual, erotic, essential essence of this man?

His fury with her she understood, and who could blame him?

But it was the pain lurking behind the fury in those dark pitiless eyes that made her want to surrender, to throw herself on his mercy, and to beg him for forgiveness.

Only that meant he would see her naked.

He would see the scars, the implants.

God, Jacob hated silicone implants.

How would she bear it if he turned away from her?

"No," she said.

Her mouth was too dry.

The tip of her tongue ran over her lips.

His eyes went even darker, too intense, as they watched the move.

"I tried to have other women," he said in a hoarse voice, ignoring the way she hitched her breath. Ignoring the way she closed her eyes tight against the sharp sting of his words. "They did not smell like you." He dipped his head, and inhaled the tender spot under her ear, making her shudder. "They did not taste like you." The flat of his tongue licked the spot, and God help her, she moaned. "And they did not sound like you."

Without warning, without pity, his mouth plundered hers.

His kiss was utterly ruthless, too rough.

He used his tongue and teeth like a weapon, his big body shuddering as he devoured her like a starving man.

And again another sob escaped her throat because this was not a Jacob she recognised, and her heart broke for him, and for herself.

His teeth nipped then pulled on her trembling bottom lip, and she cried out with the shock of it, the sting of it. And may God help her, the deep, aching pleasure of it.

Her response, the way her desperate tongue tangled with his, the way her lips sucked his tongue into her mouth shocked him and shocked herself.

He stepped back too fast.

Gabriella staggered, reaching for the chair.

Dark eyes, almost black burned into hers.

His breath was coming too fast. Those too sharp cheekbones were flushed with arousal, with rage.

She couldn’t help it, her eyes dropped to the titanic erection tenting his trousers.

Omigod.

"
Sí
, my body is suffering with hunger for you,
querida
. And you are going to relieve it."

The ache of liquid arousal between her legs was so intense it took her breath.

The too painful throb of her clitoris matched the hectic beat of her heart.

"Jacob. Please. Let me explain..."

Now he barked out a laugh.

And the rough sound, a combination of disbelief and rage, stopped her in her tracks.

"There will be plenty of time for explanations later, Gabriella. After the way you kissed me, the question is do you want to get on your knees, take me in your mouth, to suck my...?’

He ran the flat of his hand up and down his rigid length.

Her whole body went too hot from her toes to the roots of her hair.

Throughout the time they'd been together he’d never ever behaved or spoken to her so crudely.

And what was wrong with her that she found it terribly exciting, terribly arousing?

Sex with Jacob had always been outside her experience. Because he was a big man in every conceivable way, he’d always treated her with great care, with the greatest of respect.

Those dark eyes slitted, watching her face flush and her body’s physical response to him.

"I can see the idea holds a certain appeal,
querida
," he observed in a silky voice. "During the lonely months of sleepless nights I have had plenty of time to consider the matter. Tell me, did I not satisfy you sexually?"

Her jaw dropped.

"Yes, of course you did," she shot back in a disbelieving voice.

How on earth could he have thought such a thing?

Her hand leapt to her throat as she realised the depth of hurt she’d inflicted on a man who had done nothing to deserve it. The magnitude of her folly was brought home to her by the way he simply stared at her with eyes as cold and hard as the Arctic.

"Forgive me if I find those words too difficult to believe. Then I wondered if perhaps I had been too gentle, too careful. I am a big man. Was that it, Gabriella? Did you want a hard fast fuck, and I did not deliver?"

"No!"

But even as she denied the words pouring from his mouth, the thought of him doing that to her, thrilled so much her legs trembled. His eyes watched the heat of arousal flow up her neck and into her face.

"Again, I do not believe you. You said you no longer loved me. How was it possible that one day you awoke and decided your love for me was dead? For me, loving you was never a choice. I have found it impossible not to love you. Even though I have tried each and every day to move on, my love for you will not die."

The anguish he had suffered was written all over his dark face. His eyes were blazing with a truth she could not deny. Dear God, she'd damaged him in ways she could never have dreamt of. She'd never meant for him to have been wounded like this. By her.

"I’m
sorry
," she cried out, pushed beyond endurance by his refusal to listen.

His dark brows rose.

"
Sí
. You said that many times, too. So I think you will agree that you owe me closure, Gabriella. I need to take your body. To exorcise the ghost of you from my heart. To help me heal. To help me move forward with my life. Admit you owe me that much?"

The room spun as a wave of nausea washed through her, leaving her feeling too fragile, her skin damp with a cold sweat, and she knew she couldn't take any more of this. Jacob deserved to be told the truth. And that truth, that terrible truth, was going to hurt him even more. And for that she would never, ever forgive herself.

What on earth was the matter with her?

Jacob watched Gabriella carefully. She was bone white and on legs that were not quite steady as she moved to sit in the chair.

He knew he'd taken her to the brink.

Now she looked utterly defeated as she held her blonde head in her hands. And since her fragility was sending alarm bells ringing in his head, Jacob decided to take a step back.

If he carried on like this she'd end up passing out. Too late, Josh's words of advice entered his mind.
Dio
, he had taken one look at her and totally forgotten about playing it cool. And now he had started down this path to get to the truth, he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"I asked you a question,
querida
."

Her head rose.

She crossed her legs, wrapping thin arms around herself and stared him dead in the eye.

"You're right. I do owe you closure. There was no other man. There has
never
been another man." She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath as if she was about to leap off a cliff. "I... "

And the way she couldn't articulate the words made his eyes narrow.

"If it is true there was no other man. Then explain to me. What terrible thing did I do to you to make you leave me?" he demanded.

Her eyes flew to his and the way they swam, the way a single tear trembled on her eyelash made his gut ache.

What the hell was the matter with her?

"Nothing...
You
didn't do a terrible thing. I've tried to protect you from... It was
me
... I..." her voice sounded too tight.

Praying desperately for patience Jacob sat on the edge of the couch opposite her with his elbows on his knees. He leaned forward, his eyes not leaving her tortured face for a single second.

"What terrible thing did you do, Gabriella?" he asked.

It might have been the gentle tone of his voice, but her shoulders slumped in defeat as he read the deep regret in her eyes, the terrible sorrow that twisted his gut, and brought his brows together.

For endless moments her eyes searched his.

"I got sick," she whispered.

Silence.

Stunned, Jacob could only stare.

For the first time he really
saw
her, and now he understood the air of fragility, the way her clavicle bone jutted through her skin under her shirt. Sick? And he read the truth in her eyes. For her to leave him because she was ill meant her illness must be...

Every single pore in his body opened and closed, leaving him drenched in a horrible cold sweat that made the room spin. And before he knew it, he was on his knees in front of her, holding her trembling hands in his.

"Look at me," he commanded. And he waited until big hazel eyes met his. "Tell me..." His voice broke and he cleared his throat.

"I have cancer. Breast cancer."

His brain split in two. He felt it. One side was screaming inside his head, while the other was racing on the hunt for a logical answer. He looked at her chest and saw breasts. But now he realised they were a little too high above her breast bone.

"They've gone, Jacob," she sobbed.  "I never meant to hurt you like this. I'm so sorry."

Hearing her say those hellish words of apology yet again brought back the original scene in their apartment in the Bahamas. How she'd looked so terrified and devastated. Hindsight was a great thing, and now he remembered she had looked unwell and she'd lost weight.

Why
hadn't he seen it?

His friend's words roared into his brain.
'Something bad must have happened to her for her to give up a career, and a life with you.'

Her whole body shook as the woman he loved broke her heart.

Jacob gathered her in his arms and lifted her.

Madre del dios
, she was so light.

He sank to the couch with her on his knees as he held her tight. And it felt so very right to hold her like this.
This
was where she belonged, in his arms. Closing his eyes, he rocked her like a baby and inhaled the fabulous scent of her hair, her skin. And heaven help him he cried, too. For her, for her suffering, and for her ill-conceived need to protect him, and he cried for himself.

And then as she rubbed her cheek against his shirt, as she tried to crawl inside his skin, the whole story rushed out of her. How she'd found a lump and believing nothing was wrong, how she hadn't wanted to worry him for no reason. Her shock at the positive result and what she needed to do and how she'd made her decision to leave him because she loved him so, so very much and
he
deserved to have a real wife, a perfect wife, a woman who could give him children and not put him through the hell of an uncertain future living constantly on watch and living on the edge.

All he could think was her words were the talk of a crazy woman. But Jacob was so grateful to have her in his arms again that he couldn't think beyond the moment. And then his mouth was on hers as he lifted her and stood. Bed. He needed to take her to bed to hold her and to love her and to tell her everything was going to be all right.

The sensation of being held tight in the strong arms of the man she loved and with his mouth on hers had Gabriella surrender completely to the moment.

She couldn't help but bury her face into his strong shoulder to inhale the scent that was pure Jacob, to feel the fast thud of his heart under the palm of her hand.

She knew where he was taking her.

He couldn't hide his need and she didn't want him to.

Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks, soaking into his shirt. Her brain was no longer running around in endless circles with internal dialogue arguing back and forth. The heady relief of being able to finally release all her pent-up emotions was so palpable it made her sob in her throat. Why couldn't she stop crying?

Jacob laid her down on the vast bed and took off her running shoes before covering her with the comforter. But when he simply stood just staring at her, the look of anguish on his face broke her all over again. And she couldn't bear it.

Gabriella rolled onto her side into a hard little ball wrapping her arms tightly around her tummy to hold the pain deep inside.

Dimly she was aware of him shedding his clothes. She felt his weight dip the mattress as he took her in his arms, held her close. Spooning her body just the way she liked it while his hand stroked up and down from her hip to her knee and back again. The feel of him, the scent of him and the sound of his breath against her cheek made her close her eyes.