The Fey (22 page)

“
I thought we could have a
reception at the Denver Country Club, but I remembered how much you
hate the Country Club. So I booked the Natural History
Museum.”

“
The Museum of Nature and
Science?”

“
Whatever they are calling
it these days. The atrium. You can see the stars under the glass
ceiling. I thought you would like that.”

Alex couldn’t think of anything to say.

“
Well say
something.”

“
Thanks. I
think.”

“
What are you doing about
a dress?”

“
Claire said she would
make one for me but the timing is tight,” Alex said.

“
Claire makes beautiful
dresses. I’ve noticed a few of her gowns at the President’s
functions. I’m sure you saw that one of her dresses was ‘Best
Dressed’ for the Oscars.”

Alex raised her eyebrows. “The Oscars? Who’s
Oscar?”

“
I guess you missed that.
I’ve invited them to stay with us.”

“
How does that work? Your
boyfriend and his wife stay with you and your husband?”

Rebecca looked at her latte and took a drink
to stall for time. In one quick movement, she set the drink down
determined to deal with this once and for all. But when she looked
into her daughter’s blank face, she chickened out. Picking up her
latte, she took another drink. She closed her eyes and said a
silent prayer for courage. When she opened her eyes, Alex was
watching her mother.

“
You can be very
intimidating,” Rebecca said.

“
That’s what it means to
be a Green Beret,” Alex said. She looked away from her mother to
collect her thoughts. Looking back, she said, “Listen, we went to
the Cemetery with Joseph yesterday. We had planned to be at home.
You know Cian and Eoin are working on their recipes. But Joseph
came for a visit and at the last moment we decided to visit the
team. That’s why I’m sitting here in this shop and not blown to
bits.”

Rebecca nodded.

“
You should go ahead and
speak your mind. There’s no way to know how long I’ll be around.
One of these days, he’s going to succeed. It’s just a matter of
time, really.”

Rebecca reached for Alex’s hand and held it
tight.

“
I always wonder what he
wants.”

F

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“
What do you mean? He
wants me dead.”

“
Probably. Do you remember
the first phone call?”

“
Not really,
why?”

“
I came in the room while
you were on the phone, just before he screamed at you.”

“
Screamed at
me?”

“
He yelled at you and you
dropped the phone,” Rebecca looked over at Alex. “I thought you
knew this.”

“
No, I only remember him
telling me that the team was dead.” Alex gulped back the grief
which rose with the words.

“
Yes. You were upset by
that but you didn’t start…”

“
Ripping at
myself?”

“
Writhing, until he told
you he wanted something.”

“
What?”

“
I don’t know. Some land…
no property. He wanted his property.”

“
Really.”

“
You became very agitated
and ripped your stitches. Matthew and those big guys were trying to
keep you still. They had to put you out.”

Alex looked at her ridiculous, superficial
mother with new eyes. Maybe her mother wasn’t a complete idiot.
Alex nodded.

“
Thanks.”

“
For what?” Rebecca
said.

“
I don’t remember the
call. Mattie and the guys only remember how upset I was. That’s
really good information, Mom.”

“
You mean your mother
isn’t a complete idiot?”

“
Something like
that.”

Rebecca laughed.

“
Will you listen to me
now?”

“
Can we get more coffee
first?” Alex raised her eyebrows showing a true addict’s
appreciation for her favorite drug.

Rebecca laughed. “We have to counterbalance
those little bottles of alcohol.”

While Alex ordered more coffee and a couple
of scones, Rebecca watched the people and cars moving on the
street. She collected her thoughts like beach glass from a sandy
shore. When Alex gave her another latte, she realized that she
needed to tell this story as much as Alex needed to hear it.
Rebecca was ready to begin.

“
It’s a long story. Do you
mind?”

“
Let’s see. I was in the
middle of running a load of laundry. Oh that’s right, my house was
blown up.”

“
That was your house?”
asked the man sitting behind them.

Alex looked at him and nodded.

“
Oh my God,” he started.
He opened his mouth to gossip, then noticed her “get out of my
face” look. Shutting his paper, he stood. Mumbling, “I’m sorry for
your loss,” he left the shop.

“
Fucking paparazzi,” Alex
said.

Rebecca laughed.

“
Maybe this isn’t the best
place to talk,” Rebecca said.

“
He left,” Alex said. “Go
ahead.”

“
I think the story starts
with my mother. She was a person who liked everything ‘just so.’ If
anything was out of place, she was upset. My brothers had free
reign, because they were boys. But she controlled every single
thing that I did. Everything: what I wore, who I was friends with,
the boys I dated, where I went to school, everything. I know that
you think I am controlling, but she was…

“
After having children of
my own, I cannot imagine the amount of energy she spent managing
the details of my life. As you know, my brothers left as soon as
they could and never came back. I haven’t seen any of them in over
thirty years. My father was like a ghost in the house, then he had
the nerve to die when I was eighteen years old.

“
After that Mom and I
lived in this Chicago mansion. We had help. ‘Servants’. That’s what
we called them in those days. And lots of money. I was incredibly
dependant on my mother. My best friend in the whole entire world,
since we were three or something, was Benjamin’s youngest brother
Philippe. Philippe was funny, crazy and always up for some wild
adventure. He’d drag me along… Anyway, my mother thought I would
marry Philippe but he… Philippe was a homosexual.”

Rebecca stopped talking for a moment. She
looked out the window lost in thought. Alex touched her arm and
Rebecca turned back to Alex.

“
He killed himself about
six months after my father died. The priest wouldn’t give him Last
Rites because he killed himself.” Rebecca fell silent again. She
lifted her shoulders then dropped them. “I miss him. He would have
loved you and Max, understood you in a way that I… struggle.
Patrick never met him but… he arranged for Philippe to be re-buried
with blessings in consecrated soil… here, in Denver, so that I can
go and visit him. Your father is a wonderful person.”

Alex was silent while her mother struggled
for words. As she watched, a wave of emotion moved across her
mother’s face. Alex waited.

“
I didn’t really know
Benjamin. He was older than Philippe and I by four, maybe five
years. I knew about him, but I never really spent time with him
until Philippe died. Benjamin came home from who-knows-where to
attend to his parents and take care of Philippe’s funeral. He’s the
oldest in his family and very responsible.

“
Philippe was my only
friend. We were inseparable, like you and Max. When he died… I had
no one. Benjamin was destroyed over his brother and so was I. We
dated. I should say that he took me out. I was really a girl, very
naïve. He was world-traveled, very experienced and so suave with
his cigarettes and French accent. He could order dinner in at least
four languages. That was very sexy for a simple girl like
me.”

“
I bet,” Alex
said.

“
He left
about six months later and I was alone trying to please my iceberg
mother. He… Benjamin… reminded me last month that I used to say
that my mother was evil. She
was
evil. Alexandra,
she was nasty and when she wasn’t nasty? She was vicious. I did
every single thing to please her until I met your father…
Patrick.

“
I guess, well, my mother
thought I would marry Benjamin,” Rebecca turned to look at Alex.
Rebecca smiled. “She also thought he was a lawyer.”

“
He’s ‘the lawyer from a
good family’ your mother wanted you to marry?”

Rebecca nodded.

Alex laughed. She knew that Ben was
recruited to work for the CIA right out of college. He must have
been a field agent when he dated Rebecca.

“
Are you bored yet?”
Rebecca asked.

“
No. But the whole
mandatory individualization thing makes a little more sense,” Alex
said.

“
How? What an awful thing.
Forcing you into the Army two days after you graduated from high
school is the meanest thing I’ve ever done. You were not to have
any contact with Max or the family for four years. God. I am my
mother.”

Alex put her hand on her mother’s arm. “We
survived.”

“
Max would not leave your
room all summer. When he left for college, he wouldn’t speak to me.
It was like a death. Everyone grieved the loss of you. Patrick
walked around the house like a zombie. But the therapist said that
you had to individuate.”

“
He was a quack and a jerk
and,” Alex shook her head, “unimportant. What I’m trying to say is
that you didn’t want Max and me to end up like you were when
Philippe died.”

Rebecca’s hazel eyes shifted to look into
Alex’s fake blue eyes. Rebecca felt a surge of relief as the wall
of guilt and remorse melted in the warmth of her daughter’s
understanding.

“
I’ve never thought of
that. Maybe. I was trying to do what I thought was best of you. But
it wasn’t best for me or anyone in the family. And you were gone
for almost thirteen years. You were married for ten of those years
and I had no idea. You’re only sitting here because you were
injured.”

“
What does this have to do
with you cheating on Patrick and getting sperminated by
Ben?”

“
You are so crude!”
Rebecca’s hazel eyes were wide with shock. “I sent you to finishing
school so you would not be so crude.”

“
Talk about a waste of the
old inheritance.”

“
You know the story of
Patrick and I?” Rebecca asked.

“
You were walking down the
stairs of your mother’s home and saw him standing in the dining
room. He attended a charity function at your mother’s house in
place of his General. His baby blues caught your eyes and it was
love at first sight. You were married three days later.”

“
I was dating Benjamin at
the time. My mother was planning on marrying me off to Benjamin
within the year. I just… I’d never been with a man. I’d never slept
even a night away from the house. I did every single thing my
mother wanted me to do. Until I saw Patrick. And that was that.
She… Would you mind if we walked for a while?”

“
Let’s go to the
park.”

Alex picked up her heat register. They
walked a couple blocks down Colfax Avenue to avoid the hole that
replaced Alex’s home. Turning down a side street, they walked
toward the park.

The day was warm and they walked in silence,
each caught up in her own thoughts. Alex smiled remembering John
the night before. He was amazing. He drank champagne around the
diamond in her belly button, fed her chocolate strawberries and
rubbed her feet. He touched, bit, pulled at, pressed on and loved
every piece of her flesh as if he was an explorer on a new
continent. Alex shivered remembering his touch.

“
This is such a beautiful
park,” Rebecca said. They walked across Seventeenth Street to enter
City Park, Denver’s three hundred acre park in the middle of the
city.

“
We’ve talked about
getting a dog but…” Alex sighed. “I guess it depends on where we
end up living.”

“
Will you
rebuild?”

“
I…” Alex shrugged her
shoulders and shook her head. “We don’t know. Max is in Paris.
We’ll decide when he gets back.”

They walked along the flagstone path. In the
shade of the tall trees, they passed large grass soccer fields
where children were playing soccer. While Alex’s eyes watched the
laughing children, her thoughts returned to the brick and mortar
hole that was her home, her life.

“
My mother disowned me,”
Rebecca said.

Alex was so lost in her own world that she
startled when Rebecca spoke.

“
Sorry, I didn’t mean to
startle you.”

“
It’s all right. Please go
on.”

“
She didn’t approve of
Patrick. He was too old for me or so she said. I think she was
angry that she didn’t hand pick him. And she was furious. I’d never
seen her that angry. She threw us out of her house. I thought she
would come around but… I guess she was so angry that she had a
small stroke. I heard through my grandmother that she wasn’t doing
well. But I didn’t really care. I was angry too… and distracted.
Patrick and I lived in this bubble of love. We were completely
obsessed with each other. When Patrick was promoted, we moved to
North Carolina. We had this tiny house. I’d never cooked a meal or
cleaned a toilet. Patrick taught me how to do everything.
We…”