The Fight Within (29 page)

“Bye Sean, drive carefully, you hear?” he stated with a hint of mirth in his eyes.

“Yeah…always.”

He opened the side door that led out from the kitchen, then heard heavy footsteps approaching. Colin—hot on his tail.

“So, uh, what are you gonna do with that diamond ring? You get it appraised yet?” The guy offered a nervous lopsided grin and shoved his hands into his slouchy pockets.

“Not yet.” Sean placed his fitted black and white Yankees cap on his head. “But it’s on my ‘to-do’ list. What? You sniffin’ around for a finder’s fee?”

“I’d like a kick back.” His brother smiled wide with no shame at all now, looked him square in the eye. “I wanna get Lydia a ring actually, not askin’ you to give me
that
ring though. I want to pick it out for her, but…uh, yeah. Wanna ask her to marry me. I think I’m ready.” He closed the door behind him so they stood outside alone, only the sound of a neighborhood dog barking interrupting the flow.

“Are you serious?” Sean stated with a big grin. “Congrats, man.”

Colin nodded, turning a few shades of crimson as his nose twitched a bit…a telltale sign he was scared shitless.

“Yeah, it’s time, ya know? … So uh, maybe we can double date pretty soon, so I can meet this lady.”

“Maybe…yeah, that might work.” Sean turned and began to walk down the short, chipped cement steps. “Yo, whose fuckin’ dog is that?” he called. “What an annoying yappy piece of shit!” He chortled.

“I think the new family down the street. Ma said he never shuts up…some mutt that eats his nuts and sniffs his own ass all day. His mouth seems like a good spot for a piece of dynamite, huh?” he laughed nervously, as if something else were on his mind. “Hey, Sean.”

“Yeah?” He paused and looked over his shoulder.

“You seem happier, Sean…a lot happier, actually. Proud of ya, little bro.”

Sean didn’t respond, just nodded and resumed walking to his parked car in front of the place on 49
^th
street.

Yeah, he was happier—and best of all, he didn’t have to act like something he wasn’t just to put a smile on her face. Problem remained though, he was afraid of history repeating itself, of him vomiting out the meal from the night before and causing a measured scorch. He hated he’d become so damn paranoid about affairs of the heart, but Treasure made him so excited that if the shit fell through, he’d have to explain what the hell happened not only to others, but to himself. He didn’t want to go through that,
feel
that, be a victim to his own emotions all over again. It was odd how Kyle and Sapphire Storm had become the catalysts to this—the key to him opening the bolted door and giving the shit a careful once over, then leaping into the land of chance. Fact of the matter was, he had fallen helplessly, undeniably, head over heels in love. He’d been down that damn road before, however, so what should’ve been a celebratory occasion, at least internally, caused him alarm during his darker hours, when his imagination ran wild and played old tapes to torture himself with.

He had no idea he and Treasure would click like this, but at the same time, he had secretly wanted this kind of bond, all along. Now that he’d gotten his wish, he scowled at the thing, certain the beautiful lady that now lived in his heart may bite him in the ass, leave him to bleed to death from his own foolhardy choice. But he moved forward anyway, pushing the fears aside, for the love tasted too damn good, and instead of being satiated and satisfied, he hungered for her a bit more and more each day, never ever getting his fill…

‡

“I
mean,” he
slid his shoe off and scratched an itch on the side of his neck as they sat in his car, in front of her house, “it’s up to you, I guess. You can call ’im and say he is getting a refund or let him know he’s being unreasonable.”

The woman huffed, then sucked her lower lip…pulling the damn thing inward.

“I can’t do that…” she finally mumbled, clutching her purse. She darted her gaze to the front door, then back his way. “He’s already paid in advance. I know, I know,” she grinned into her lap and shook her head, “I’m too nice.”

“Buuuuuullshit!” He guffawed, looking at her in disbelief. “You might have your customers fooled with this nice, professional get up, but I’m onto ya!”

“What?!” The woman would have damn near grasped her pearls…had she been wearing some. “I’m sweet as pie!”

“Pickle pie…and not the sweet kind.” She thumped him on the head with a finger. Swooping low, he playfully nibbled her ear, then begrudgingly released her.

“Well.” She sighed, as if the house held her prisoner and had sent out a capias warrant for her arrest. “I guess I better go on inside. I had fun tonight.” She smiled at him.

“I did, too.” He leaned in for a kiss, but before he could land the damn thing, her neighbor pulled out in a shiny jet black Rolls Royce. His damn stomach roiled in angst. The magical moment had been ruined by the entitled ways of some fucker who thought they owned China and knew the price.

“Why are you looking like that?” Treasure whispered as she delicately placed her hand along his cheek.

“These rich motherfuckers over here! I swear…” He rolled his eyes, then zoomed in closer to her, only to be met by two hands pushing into his chest as if he were the cause of all that was wrong with the world.

“Sean, what is your problem?” She veered back in her seat, forcing him to do the same.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why is it
every
time you think someone has some money, you lash out at them, as if their right to live should be on trial?! This is ridiculous, you know that?”

“What’s ridiculous is how you put up with the damn status quo, Treasure. You’re like my mother, you know that? Want to pretend everything is all nicey nice. Do you know how many people go to bed hungry in this country? Do you even care?”

“Don’t you dare!” Her eyes narrowed and steely, she pointed in his face, her finger a mere inch or two from his nose. “You are so full of yourself, talking down to me like that. I’ve had about enough of this.”

He briefly looked out the front window, a storm raging inside him. “Let’s take New York for instance, just by itself.”

“Sean, I’m warning you. You don’t get to go back to your point without me saying something to you about how you just acted. Don’t talk to me like a child.” He’d riled her the fuck up, pushed a red hot button, but he didn’t care. She needed to hear the damn truth and if he was meant to be the messenger, so be it.

“There are almost 60,000 homeless people living in New York
alone
, Treasure. Many of them have children, are pregnant or victims of violence. Most haven’t had a decent meal in over twenty-four hours.”

“First of all, you are assuming that I know nothing about anything that you speak of. That would be where you are wrong. Secondly, you speak as if you think I’m responsible for this, Sean?! And the man you just saw pulling out the driveway is, too, huh?! We are all working in cahoots right this second, working together for one common goal, and that is to destroy Sean Mahoney and all the poor saps just like him!”

“You are completely removed from reality, you know that?”

“My name is conspiracy Treasure, glad to make your acquaintance! Sean, please be quiet. You’ve truly exhausted me with this crap. I am
not
part of the problem!”

“You people
are
part of the damn problem!” The vein in his neck puffed and strained under his flesh as his suppressed anger oozed out like black tar onto a cracked sidewalk, signaling the calm had broken. And his internal storm got out to play.

No jokes.

No filter.

Sean was ready, raw and uncut. The masks had been removed, and here he sat, not afraid to let her know exactly where he was coming from.

“
I’m
part of the problem?” She pointed to herself in disbelief. “Let me tell your ass something, Mr. Mahoney.” She leaned closer to him and lest he admit it, he was suddenly silenced and dare he say, surprised at her reaction. “You haven’t been listening to me at all. You tried it! You must’ve had me fooled. So glad I didn’t fuck your ass! That would have been a huge mistake. I
knew
it! You were too good to be true.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?” he asked calmly, though inside, his heart was twisting and turning, flipping and flopping around like a dying fish gasping for air.

“Don’t play stupid with me. You can miss me with this bullshit, you hear me? You don’t know a
damn
thing about me. All you have and focus on are these crazy ideas in your head and no matter what I say or do, you’ll stick to your beliefs like glue.” She reached for the door to leave, but he pulled her back. Oh no…she wasn’t getting off that easily.

“I
have
been listening, Treasure, and what I see is an intelligent woman that tries to play nice-nice and not see how fucked up the world really is! I’m not sayin’ you’re a bad person, not sayin’ that at all!”

“Screw you, Sean, okay? You act like you are all knowledgeable and everyone else around you is just a moron, desperately in need of your school of twisted logic. I don’t need your approval, your chastising, critique and evaluations. I don’t need
anyone’s
approval and I no longer care what you think.”

“Yeah you do, or you wouldn’t be so goddamn mad at me right now. You’re angry as hell that I made you see some shit you had your eyes closed to. Open them and wake the fuck up.”

His jaw twisted and tightened as the woman took the longest pause known to man, and then, her eyes turned to slits. She raised her hand to strike, then froze. Her lower lip and chin shook as well as her fingers, just hanging there high in the sky like dangling fruit from a vine. Then, slowly lowering her hand, she placed it palm down on her thigh. She leaned in close like a doctor about to give an eye exam—the woman he’d obsessed about turned suddenly colder than a glacier and her tone dropped lower than 6 degrees below zero.

“YOU. DON’T. KNOW. SHIT.” She said it so coolly, it rattled his bones.

He wasn’t sure why he had kept talking, making things worse. It was in his nature to stick to his points, to keep fighting and fighting and fighting. Driven toward the cliff of self-destruction, he stood on the edge, ready to jump. It unnerved him how he could sabotage the very thing he needed most. And then it hit him. She’d been right that day as they stood before the pawnshop.

He didn’t think he was good enough for her, not good enough at all…

The mask had come off, and he was exposed, naked, vulnerable.

So he picked this fight, slid in like sludge, and made a mess of things.

They stared at one another, stone-faced, not daring to flinch. Several moments passed with no words uttered.

I’ve gone too far. Something is wrong with me. Why would I do this?! Why would I keep pushing her like this? I love her…

But he had to save face. He couldn’t let her see him this way. He veiled himself, hoping his new costume would be more to her liking…

“Okay, look,” he said, breaking the silence, throwing up one hand in surrender. “I’ve been upsetting you when we discuss socio-economic issues, right? Well, that’s because it’s important to me, Treasure. I believe—”