Authors: Margaret Laurence
— Shit.
The booklet skids and lies still under the coffee table. Stacey turns off the lamp and stands near the window, drinking and looking at the lights of the city out there. They flash and shift like the prairie northern lights in the winter sky, here captured and bound.
The thin panthers are stalking the streets of the city, their claws unretracted after the cages of time and time again. The Roman legions are marching – listen to the hate-thudding of their boot leather. Strange things are happening, and the skeletal horsemen ride, ride, ride with all the winds of the world at their backs. There is nowhere to go this time
— Today I saw a girl walking up the street towards me, a plain girl unfashionably dressed, and from a distance I thought it was myself coming back to meet me with a wiser chance. But it wasn’t.
No other facet to the city-face? There must be. There has to be.
Out there in unknown houses are people who live without lies, and who touch each other. One day she will discover them, pierce through to them. Then everything will be all right, and she will live in the light of the morning
.
C
ome on, you kids. Aren’t you ever coming for breakfast?
THIS IS THE EIGHT-O’CLOCK NEWS BOMBING RAIDS LAST NIGHT DESTROYED FOUR VILLAGES IN
Mum! Where’s my social studies scribbler?
I don’t know, Ian. Have you looked for it?
It’s gone. I gotta take it to school this morning
Well,
look
. Katie, have you seen Ian’s social studies scribbler?
No, and I’m not looking for it, either. If he wasn’t so
Stacey, the party starts at eight tonight. Be ready, eh?
Sure, yes yes of course. Duncan, eat your cereal.
I hate this kind. Why do you always buy it?
You say that about every kind I buy. C’mon.
WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN TOOLEY’S NEW SHOWROOM YOU’RE IN FOR A REAL COOL SURPRISE
Chatter buzz wail
Okay, Jen, I’ll be up in a sec. Are you finished? Don’t try to get off by yourself – I’m coming.
You going to get your hair done, Stacey?
Yes, of course, whaddya think?
I only asked, for heaven’s sake. No need to
I’m sorry, Mac. Yes, I’m getting it done this morning. Want an egg?
Please.
Mum, it’s not here, and Mr. Gaines will be mad as fury. I got to find
Okay. Ian, one minute and I’ll look. Where have you looked?
Everywhere.
ROAD DEATHS UP TEN PER CENT MAKING THIS MONTH THE WORST IN
I got to take fifty cents, Mum.
Duncan! What for?
Cripples or something
What?
It tells about it right here, in this piece of paper they gave us
Why didn’t you show me this last night?
I forgot
So long, Stacey. So long, kids.
’Bye, Dad.
Oh good-bye, honey. Wait – you didn’t have your egg. It’s just done now
Can’t. Said I’d be in by eight thirty. You eat it.
I hate eggs.
Miss Walsh said earn it if we can but I dunno how to earn fifty cents
WHEN QUESTIONED THE BOY SAID HE HAD SEEN THE GIRL TAKING THE PILLS BUT HE HAD NOT KNOWN THEY WERE
Scream
Okay, Jen – I’m coming right now
Mother, what have you done with my orange earrings?
I never touched them, Katie, and anyway you can’t wear them to
Who says I can’t?
Mum, I’ve looked in the desk and everywhere and my social studies scribbler just isn’t
YANCY’S FANCIES ARE THE BEST TASTE TREAT OF THE GOLDEN WEST
Maybe you could advance me fifty cents on my allowance and I could
Mr. Gaines will have hysterics I mean it boy you don’t know him
They were on my dresser yesterday with my green earrings and now they’re both
BRR-RING
Katie, answer the phone, will you?
I can’t I’m in the bathroom doing my hair
Well, take Jen off, then, while you’re there
Man, who was your servant last year?
Oh shut up and do as you’re told
BRR-RING
Hello?
Oh, hello. Stacey?
Yeh. Hello, Tess.
Got time for coffee this morning?
Well, I have to get my hair done. Maybe a quick one.
Leave Jen with me, why don’t you?
Oh gosh, Tess, I can’t ever pay you back. No, she’ll be okay with me.
I don’t mind having her a single speck, Stacey. Really and truly
Well, that’s certainly nice of you we’ll see look I gotta run now see you eh?
Sure, okay. G’bye.
G’bye. Come on, you kids! Ian, for the Lord’s sake whatsamatter with your eyes? Your scribbler’s under the cushion on the chesterfield. Here, Duncan, and please the next time let me know when you come home from school instead of springing things on me like this. You can earn it by clipping the edges on the lawn. Katie! You find your earrings?
Yeh. They were on the floor behind my dresser.
Well, next time don’t be so
AND NOW THE PINK BALLOONS SINGING WELL WELL WELL WELL
Okay, you guys, everybody out of here. Got everything?
You missed your calling, Mother. You should’ve been in the army. You would’ve made a great sergeant-major.
Nuts to you. So long, Katie. ’Bye, kids.
’Bye.
Slam.
Okay, flower. Here’s your cereal.
— Quick, coffee, or I faint.
EIGHT-THIRTY NEWS BOMBERS LAST NIGHT CLAIMED A DECISIVE VICTORY FOUR VILLAGES TOTALLY DESTROYED AND A NUMBER OF OTHERS SET ABLAZE
Stacey stirs her coffee and lights a cigarette. Then she switches off the radio.
— I can’t listen. It’s too much too much too much. What can you do, anyhow? Nothing. Just agonize. Useless. All useless. Me included. Listen, God, I know it’s a worthwhile job to bring up four kids. You don’t need to propagandize me; I’m converted. But how is it I can feel as well that I’m spending my life in one unbroken series of trivialities? The kids don’t belong to me. They belong to themselves. It would be nice to have something of my own, that’s all. I can’t go anywhere as myself. Only as Mac’s wife or the kids’ mother. And yet I’m getting now so that I actually prefer to have either Mac or one of the kids along. Even to the hairdresser, I’d rather take Jen. It’s easier to face the world with one of them along. Then I know who I’m supposed to be.
What’s your name, little girl?
Stacey Cameron.
That’s a funny name – Stacey
. It is not! It is not! It’s my name and don’t you say anything about it, see?
Stacey, don’t be rude – this is Reverend McPhail, our new minister. Say you’re sorry
. I will not.
Go to your room, then
. (In the bedroom, an oval mirror, and she put her face very close to it, so she could see deeply into her own eyes – Anastasia, princess of all the Russias; Anastasia, queen of the Hebrides, soon to inherit the ancestral castle in the craggy isles.)
Come on, opera star. Let’s go and see Aunt Tess. We better put a few presentable clothes on first. Gosh, I wish I had a skin like yours, flower. Not a blemish. All the other kids have got a certain amount of freckles, but you’re like milk. Too pale, maybe. Yeh, you could stand with a little more color. C’mon, this is where you’re supposed to say nuts to you, Mum, I’m absolutely gorgeous the way I am. Okay – you’ve convinced me.
Newspaper photograph. Some new kind of napalm just invented, a substance which, when it alights burning onto skin, cannot be removed. It adheres. The woman was holding a child about eighteen months old and she was trying to pluck something away from the scorch-spreading area on the child’s face.
Come on, Jen, let’s get dressed and get out of here.
Tess is waiting for them with the coffee cups out.
Gee, that’s a cute outfit, Stacey.
Like it? I got it for her last summer.
No, I meant your dress.
What, mine? Oh – well, thanks, Tess. I can hardly squeeze into it.
You haven’t put on any weight, surely?
That’s what you think. I’m on a diet this week.
Oh? What kind?
Well, I tried the banana diet, but I get so fed up with bananas that I’m not fit to live with. This one’s high protein, no carbohydrates.
How do you find it?
It’s hell. It’s the bread I miss. I’ve got no willpower, that’s my trouble.
Oh Stacey, you? I always think you’ve got terrific willpower.
Who, me?
I mean to say, all those kids and running the house and all.
That’s not willpower. That’s just elbow grease.
Well, my heavens, I know I couldn’t do it. I tire so quickly. Sometimes it’s like I can hardly lift a finger without getting all played out. I saw the doctor again about my blood pressure.
Oh? What did he say?
The usual. Take it easy. Keep up the pills. Salt-free diet. I didn’t tell Jake I went.
Why not?
I don’t know, Stacey. He doesn’t like people not feeling well.
It’s not your fault.
I know, but then again – well, I don’t know. You know what men are like.
No, but I sure wish I did.
I wish I had your way of laughing at everything, Stacey.
I don’t really
Sure you do. It’s a real gift. My dad used to say,
Tess, when God gave out the sense of humor, he missed you
. I’ve never forgotten that. I guess it’s true. Of course, I mean, I like laughing. But I can never remember jokes and that. Did I show you the goldfish?
No. You got goldfish?
Yeh. Jake bought them for me. For company, he said. See, here they are. I like the little wee castle at the bottom of the bowl, there, don’t you? And all those pink and blue pebbles. Kind of sweet, I thought. See, there’s the big goldfish hiding behind that fern or whatever it is. Where’s the smaller one got to? Don’t tell me – no, there it is. There were three when Jake brought them home.
Did the other one die?
Well, not exactly. The big one ate it.
What?
Apparently it’s a quite common thing among goldfish. Some just do. I saw it happen. It was kind of peculiar. The big goldfish bit it on the back of the neck, sort of, and it had this convulsion, like, and then the big one took it to the bottom of the bowl and just ate it. I saw the whole thing happen. It didn’t even take very long.
That’s gruesome.
Yes. It looked really peculiar, like I said. I am keeping my eye on this other one now. To see what happens
Can’t you take it out? Or do something
Well, it’s their natural way isn’t it after all
What’ll you do if it
does
Jake said he would bring home another one tonight just in case
Expensive fish food
Oh, they don’t cost very much
— Dog eat dog and fish eat fish. Don’t tell me any more because I don’t want to know.
Thanks for the coffee, Tess. My appointment’s for ten. I must get going
You’ll leave Jen?
Well, I don’t think I should
Sure. Leave her, Stacey.
Okay, if you’re sure it’s no
Oh, positive. She’s as good as gold. You’re as good as a little goldfish, aren’t you, sweetie? No trouble
— Jen? You okay, flower? I want to take you along with me, but I don’t know how to say it politely.
The hair dryer purrs whirringly like a metallic tiger. Stacey turns the magazine page. The article is entitled “Pruning Down with Prunes – New Concept in Dieting.” She sighs, closes the magazine and looks around. The dryer prevents any other sound from reaching her, so everything in front of her eyes is taking place in silence, as though she were observing it through some thick and isolating glass barrier or like TV with the voices turned off.
The priestesses are clad in pale mauve smocks. They glide and dart, the movements perfectly assured and smooth, no wasted effort. A heavy woman with heavy grey hair sinks down into a chair in front of the grapefruit-yellow basin. With a visible sigh of pleasure, tweed-covered bosom lifting like hills in a minor earthquake, she leans back her head to receive the benediction of the shampoo. The priestess’s plastic-sheathed hands administer to her scalp, the fingers updrawn like yellow talonless claws. In a chair facing the wall-to-wall mirror, a young woman laughs soundlessly up at her priestess, who is twirling the strands of black hair rapidly around yellow rollers. An ammonia whiff and a conglomeration of humid perfumes come to Stacey’s nostrils.
Not Earth. Somewhere else. Quite a small planet, but with a very advanced technology. The whole process is absolutely painless, here on Zabyul. The silver mechanism is simply fitted over the head, creating an impression of gentle warmth. Soon she will emerge from the Chrysalis. That is what the mechanism is called. One of the butterfly priestesses comes over, checks the controls. All set – the transformation is complete. She steps out. The entire room is made of a substance which reflects softly. She stares. Her? This very young woman has her features, but altered, made finer, the shape of the bones incredibly beautiful under the cream-textured skin. Quick – Jartek will be waiting. And there
he is, strong and supple, his sex discernible under the sleek tight-fitting uniform of a galactic pilot. Then they are in one of the life-domes. He is a senior pilot, so naturally his life-dome is a relatively spacious gracious one, furnished with golden-foam couches that grow organically out of the walls at a flick of the Environator on his steady-boned yet now trembling wrist. He puts his hands on her breasts, then slides his finger down to her willing sex. Now quickly
.
Okay, Mrs. MacAindra? If you’d like to come over here, Lenore will comb you out.
Thanks.
— No wonder I’m afraid of having an anaesthetic or undergoing hypnosis. What if I talked? I’m a freak. Or maybe I’m not, but how can you tell? There is only one thing you have to remember, Stacey, doll. Tonight, drink tomato juice.
Outside the door of the hotel banqueting room, Mac touches Stacey’s arm. Half surprised, she glances at him and finds that he is smiling.
Now just don’t worry, Stacey. It’ll be all right.