"Nate?" he asked.
Nodding, I continued, "What I did was horrible. Fucking disgusting. I used the excuse that I was desperate, but I was a horrible person."
"You're not horrible."
I squeezed my eyes shut. "When he found out I was playing him and had no intentions of putting out, he snapped. We had a date arranged at his place and I went over, not suspecting a thing. He lured me in and attacked me."
Dee hissed through his teeth. Was he pissed at Nate, or me? In a way it was my fault, I'd driven Nate to do what he did next, but at the end of the day, he made the choice to act on it, not me.
"He beat me until I could hardly scream and was moments away from..." My voice broke at the memory. Nate over me, my throbbing head, blood everywhere, his hands trying to tear the clothing from my bruised body. "His father walked in before... before he could... I don't know what he was doing there, but it could've been so much worse."
"What happened? Did he get arrested?"
"No. They paid me off to keep my mouth shut and I got a restraining order against Nate. The Barnes' are a pretty well off family in New York. They have people who know people if you get my meaning. Money buys a lot of things, but for the rich, it buys a hell of a lot of silence. They made me sign a non-disclosure statement, a full on contract."
His expression darkened even further and I was desperate to know what he was thinking.
"I was barely twenty, Dee. I was alone and terrified," I reasoned, eyes wide.
"It's okay," he whispered. "I'll never understand how it felt, but I get it."
"I haven't seen or heard from Nate since. Not until I turned my cell back on yesterday. I thought that was done. Just a horrible memory."
"Yesterday?"
"After I left you to go to Couch."
"What the fuck?" he hissed. "Jessie, the detective who spoke to me said that they had evidence that he'd been stalking you. He must have been watching you yesterday. Followed you to the cafe."
"What?" My blood ran cold. "But the restraining order..."
"That wouldn't have stopped him."
"It ran out yesterday... That's why he... He knew I couldn't do anything about it. The contract..."
"Jessie, it's okay," Dee said, edging closer. "He's been arrested. He violated the order, so it's still valid. The cops have plenty of evidence. If you wanna press charges, you can. By the sounds of it, they have a strong case against him. More than any high and mighty New York lawyer type can bury."
I sighed in relief, sinking back into my pillow. He was locked up. He couldn't get me anyway, not while Dee was here. Dee would protect me. "Turns out rich kids are more screwed up than regular people," I said wryly.
"Money doesn't buy happiness."
"No, but it gets a roof over your head."
"Your apartment?" he asked.
"I brought it with their hush money," I rolled my eyes. "You might think I was greedy for taking it, but I had nothing. It was better than living on the street, so I took it and tried to make a better life for myself. Without having to worry about rent, I was free to do other things. To be a better person."
"Like interning at Galaxy."
"Yeah, like that."
Dee hesitated, his brow furrowed. "What about your parents?"
I shrugged. "They didn't want to know me after I ran off."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be," I said. "I was a kid. I did something stupid I'll regret for the rest of my life. I can only look forward now, right?"
"Maybe that's a battle for another day." He squeezed my hand gently and I wondered about his parents and how the hell they'd made someone like him. Dee was perfect.
"You must think I'm some kind of nut job."
"No," he said, taking my hand. "That's not the Jessie I've come to know."
I just looked at him like he was insane. I mean, I'd kept it all from him. Everything. He should still be mad at me, shouldn't he? I just kept hurting him.
"I mean, I can't imagine what it would've been like," he said. "I've had a pretty ordinary life up until now, but people make mistakes. Some people learn from them, some people don't. The prime example being that guy, right? You've learnt. You tried to make your life better. Make amends." He whispered the last part, eyes downcast like he was unsure. He didn't have to be.
The tears that had been threatening, began slipping from my eyes. Was he for real? What did I ever do to deserve Dee Cosgrove? He reached up and brushed away my tears with a thumb, a smile pulling at his lips. He was so perfect and strong and…
"Dee?" I whispered.
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Leaning over, he kissed the side of my mouth and said, "Love you, too."
"It looks like a florist in here," I said as Jessie opened her eyes.
"Hey," she said, her voice all husky and sexy from sleep. "I never knew I was so popular."
It had been two days since the accident and everyone from the cafe had been to see her. Even a few people she'd worked with at Galaxy and every single one of them brought flowers and cards. The shelf along the wall was full to bursting, but it made the stark hospital room a little more friendly, and wreaked havoc with allergies I didn’t even know I had.
"That's because you're such a good person," I said.
"Dee, you can let it drop," she scolded.
After she'd told me her story and how she still thought she was the same person after that thing back in LA, I didn't understand how she couldn't see it. How she'd changed. I understood now that her running had been out of fear, nothing else. Jessie had overcome so much to grow into the beautiful, generous and kind person she now was. Anyone with eyes in their heads could see that with all the bloody flowers. People cared for her.
"You'll never believe who I heard from," I said, planting a kiss on her lips.
"Who?" she asked, grimacing as she shifted her body.
"Georgie." Laughing as her face screwed up in mock disgust, I pointed to a bunch of expensive looking lilies on the shelf. "Those are from her and Galaxy."
"Really?"
"Really."
"I don't believe it."
"Looks like your hard work paid off," I winked. "You finally got a bunch of flowers outta them. Some pay check."
"Dee," she exclaimed.
Curling my fingers through hers, I said, "They want you back."
"What do you mean?"
"They want you to go back," I repeated a little more firmly.
"Did you have something to do with that?"
"Don't you want to go back and work for them? Isn't that your dream?" I asked, surprised.
"Yes, but…"
"You sacrificed your dreams to come find me. The least I could do was have words with Georgie."
"Dee, you didn't."
"I did. Seems like your replacements, plural, couldn't hack Cyclone Georgie like you could. They want to give you real money, J."
"A job?" she breathed, her eyes widening. "A real life, actual job?"
"Yep." She sighed, her brow creasing into a frown. Before she could argue, I said, "You got this one all on your own, Jessie. I only made the suggestion. Well, Zoe helped, too. A little."
"I don't want it," she said.
"What? Why?"
"I don't want it because that means I can't come to Australia with you."
My heart did a stupid little flip-flop thing in my chest and I couldn't help grinning. "Jessie, that sounds fucking great and everything, but I can't ask you to leave everything behind. We've got time."
"I know we've got time," she said, tugging on my hand. "But, having a near death experience kinda lays everything out for you. It makes the unclear pretty fucking clear. And I never want to leave you again. You're stuck with me, Cosgrove. Whether you want me or not."
Leaning over, I caught her lips with mine, kissing her long and slow. Pulling away, I whispered, "More like, you're stuck with me."
"I can't wait until I'm out of this hospital."
"I can't wait to take you home and give you another earth shattering orgasm."
"I can't wait for you to give it to me," she smiled wickedly, her fingers tracing mine.
Remembering the other night, I smiled to myself. I thought I'd had intense sex with Jessie that first night. What we'd done in her bed had blown that out of the water. Just thinking about it made me harden and knowing that it would be a while before we could have sex again, just added fuel to the fire. The whole want but can't have thing drove me nuts.
Closing my eyes, it was so easy to fantasize about those things, but it would take time for the image of the accident to fade away. Seeing her on the road, the way her eyes had unfocused. If I'd lost her, I didn't know what I would do. Probably waste away to nothing and die a sad, lonely old man.
"Seeing you lying there," I began, my voice cracking. "It was the single most horrible moment of my life." We hadn't talked about that moment, only the short bare minimum details, but it seemed like something I should tell her. We'd never have a secret between us again.
"You don't have to tell me," she said. "I know."
"It made me realize that I can't live without you."
"I can try and find a job anywhere, Dee. The band is more than your life. It's your family and your soul. I can't ask you to leave that behind."
"Fuck, I love you." I didn't know what else to say to that.
"I love you, too."
"If you won't budge, then you have to do something for me." I'd been thinking this over ever since she'd told me her story. Jessie and been alone in the world for far too long. If there was one thing I knew from all those broken hearts and smashed dreams, it was that family mattered. Zoe, Will, Simone, Frank and Chris… they were my family just as much as my parents were.
"What?" she asked, her voice full of suspicion.
"When you're better, take me home. Take me to Montreal to see your family."
She instantly paled, her fingers loosening from mine.
"I know it's gunna be hard, but family matters, Jessie."
She didn't answer and I knew I'd probably said the wrong thing making it an ultimatum like that. A nurse came into the room then, any response Jessie was going to give me, evaporating into thin air.
The nurse clucked her tongue at us. "Out, out, out, Mr. Dee," she scolded me. "Your lady needs her check up."
Jessie gave me a look.
"What?" I shrugged giving the nurse a wink. I'd spent the last two days buttering up all the nurses on the floor so I could get Jessie extra pudding. That, and I was just too antsy to sit still for five minutes at a time.
"You've been busy," Jessie said, squeezing my hand.
"You know I can make friends with anyone."
"He's a sweet talker," the nurse shooed me away. "I know you young boys like lady parts, but out. Shoo."
I stifled a laugh and gave Jesse a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll be right outside."
When I went out into the hall, I spotted Zoe talking to Will, Ana and Ed down by the nurse’s station.
"Did you get the flowers from the guys?" Zoe asked, coming to meet me half way.
"Yeah," I laughed, running a hand through my hair. Simone had sent over a bunch of flowers from her, Frank and Chris. And when I say a bunch of flowers, it also included a giant stuffed monkey with a guitar. I'm sure that was a reference to something. "Jessie loved the monkey, but I think she's gunna drop it off to some kids in pediatrics."
"Shit, she's so nice," she laughed. "Are you sure she loves you, you big ape?"
I knocked her shoulder with mine.
"Any updates from the doctors?"
"She's getting a check up now, but they said she'll probably be good to come home the day after tomorrow."
"That's great," Zoe beamed.
"She said she wants to come with me," I blurted.
"Move to Melbourne?"
"Yeah."
"Dee, that's amazing, but why do you sound so down about it?"
"Galaxy offered her a permanent job."
Zoe pushed off the wall and slapped me on the arm. "So, it worked then?"
Like I told Jessie before, Zoe and I had had words with Georgie and the label about her predicament. We'd told them about the accident and why she'd quit in the first place. Apparently, they had huge plans in the works for The Devil's Tattoo and making us happy made them happy. It wasn't a matter of our say so, getting Jessie her job back. It was more the fact that they'd already gone through two interns in just over a week. Turned out Georgie really was that good at staff turn over.
"Full time, awesome pay rate with bonus' and holidays. Health care, dental and all of that shit they do here."
"But, she wants to move to Melbourne with you?”
"Yep."
"Maybe it's not as important to her anymore. You know, after the last couple of days."
"I'll respect her decision, Zo, whatever she wants to do. I'm stoked she wants to come with me, I just don't want her to keep sacrificing what she wants for me. She did it once already, I can't ask her to do it again."
"Maybe love is what she wanted all along. Just like you."
"Fuck, you're annoying," I sighed, pulling her in for a hug. She was right in a way, but we still had time to work it all out.