The First Lady (22 page)

I slipped on my tie and jacket, then headed downstairs. Lisa Mae was sitting on the couch, talking to somebody on her cell phone. She hung up when I entered the room.

“I just confirmed you to be on Channel Five’s
Positively Black
next Saturday at two o’clock. They’re going to be talking about church and the black family.” She beamed with pride, as if her announcement were as earth-shattering as perhaps discovering the cure for cancer.

“Lisa, what did I tell you about scheduling things without me looking at my calendar first? I know I have things scheduled for Saturday.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be on the show; it was just that she was making a habit out of scheduling my days.

“Okay, T.K., calm down. I’ve already checked your calendar. You have only one christening on Saturday morning, and then you’re free to do the show that afternoon.” She placed a hand on her hip and gave me a look that said I shouldn’t have questioned her.

It was moments like this that made me rethink my decision to start dating again so soon after my wife’s death.

“Where’re you going?” she asked as I turned to walk away.

“To the kitchen to get some aspirin.”

“Well, don’t take too long. We wouldn’t want to be late.”

“Yes, dear,” I said under my breath.

I filled a glass with water, then swallowed the aspirin, hoping I’d taken it soon enough to avoid the headache that could surely ruin my night. Little did I know that the little spat I’d just had with Lisa was nothing compared to the stress I was about to endure. As I stood at the sink rubbing my temples, I heard a knock on the back door. I flipped on the outside light and peered out the window. I was shocked to see a frail semblance to Marlene.

“Dear Lord.” I cracked the door. “Marlene? Is that you?”

“Mmm-hmm. It’s me, Thomas Kelly. Can I come in?”

I opened the door, stepping aside so she could enter. She looked so bad, I was almost afraid for her. And she smelled like she hadn’t bathed in weeks. The first thing I thought was that I wasn’t giving her any money. She could have something to eat, but I was not about to support the habit that was slowly destroying this once-beautiful woman.

“Sit down at the table,” I said, trying to sound more concerned than disgusted. “Are you hungry?” I asked as she settled into a chair at the table. She nodded, and I went to the refrigerator to get the plate I had brought home from the wedding reception that afternoon. I removed the foil from the plate, and before I could even offer to heat it up, she said a quick “Thanks” and dug in. I went to get her a fork so she would stop eating with her hands. It bothered me to see her devouring the food like some sort of animal. The Marlene I once knew had too much dignity to act this way. She’d truly hit rock bottom.

I watched her shovel in the food for a moment, then asked, “Why are you here, Marlene?”

Without putting down the fork, she said, “Because I need your help, Thomas Kelly.”

“I’m not giving you any money, Marlene, so you can just get that out of your mind right now.”

“I don’t want any money, Thomas Kelly.” She finally stopped eating and looked at me. “I want you to help me get clean. The same way you got clean.” She sounded sincere, but I knew from past personal experience that crack addicts were some of the world’s best liars.

“Are you for real? You want to get clean?”

“Yes. I’m tired, Thomas Kelly. I can’t live like this anymore.” Tears rolled down her face, leaving streaks in the makeup and dirt on her cheeks.

It had been decades since we were a couple, but I still felt protective of this woman who, at one time, was the love of my life. Ignoring her odor, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in close. I kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay, Marlene. I’ll help you. It’s gonna be all right. Everything’s gonna be all right.”

“T.K., what’s taking so—” Lisa Mae stopped in midsentence, her mouth still hanging open in shock when she walked in and saw me at the table with Marlene. “What’s going on in here? Who is that? And what is that smell?” She took a few steps back, fanning her nose with her hand.

I released Marlene and stood up. “Lisa Mae, this is Marlene, the mother of my daughter, Tanisha.” I looked down at Marlene, almost wanting to apologize for what I was about to reveal. But Marlene’s appearance was so bad that her addiction couldn’t have been a secret anyway. “Marlene needs our help, Lisa. She’s been on crack, but she wants to get clean. I told her we’d help her.”

A momentary look of disgust passed over Lisa’s face, but then she turned to Marlene and put on that smile she was so good at producing on demand. It might have been enough to fool the average person, but I had seen it often enough to know that beneath that smile she was seething.

“Of course we can help her, T.K.,” she said a little too sweetly, “but not just now. We’ve got a dinner engagement. This is the 100 Black Men awards ceremony. They’re giving you the Preacher of the Year award. We can’t miss this.”

She might have thought she was fooling me, but from the way she looked at Marlene, I could tell she really wanted to say, “We can’t miss this for some damn crackhead.”

“I’m sorry, Thomas Kelly. I didn’t know you had plans.” Marlene shoved some food in her mouth, then stood and spoke with her mouth full. “I’ll come back another time.”

“No, Marlene,” I insisted. If I let her out that door now, she might never come back again. I couldn’t miss this moment, this opportunity to help her get clean. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything. I can call my friend and have him accept my award. He’ll know what to tell them.”

“You can’t do this, T.K.,” Lisa protested. “Not for a—”

I knew it! She almost let her true feelings slip, but I cut her off before she could insult Marlene.

“Lisa, this woman is my daughter’s mother. She’s family—unlike some other people in this room.” Part of me regretted hurting Lisa Mae with these words, but her lack of respect for Marlene made me angry. Crack addict or not, Marlene was still one of God’s children, still worthy of human compassion. No award on Earth could make me neglect my obligation as a man of God.

Lisa Mae’s face turned crimson, and she took a step back, obviously shocked by my words. “I’m sorry, T.K. I … didn’t mean any harm. I was just trying to look out for you.” Unlike her fake smile from before, this apology was sincere.

“I understand that, and I’m sorry for my harsh words, but Marlene needs help. I won’t turn my back on her, especially not at this critical point in her recovery.”

“Look, why don’t we drop her off at Jamaica Hospital on our way to the ceremony?” she suggested. “They’ve got a detox program over there. Let the professionals handle this.”

“Look, Lisa, I am a professional when it comes to this drug. I’ve helped people through this same situation dozens of times. Detox won’t help. If it could, then she could have detoxed at home. Getting clean is about
wanting
to be clean and putting God first. Now, Marlene and I have a lot of praying to do, so why don’t you take her upstairs and give her a bath? I’ll go find her some clean clothes and some Scriptures for her to read. It’s going to be a long night.”

Lisa Mae grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the kitchen. In the hall outside the kitchen door, she protested, “I’m not going to give that woman a bath, T.K. That woman is disgusting. She might have AIDS or something. I can’t believe you even let her in your house.”

Lisa Mae’s voice was loud enough for Marlene to hear every hurtful word. She was disgusted by Marlene, but personally, I found Lisa Mae’s uncharitable behavior to be far more offensive than Marlene’s appearance or her odor. I don’t know how I kept my composure when I spoke, but I did.

“Maybe it’s best if you just take my car and go to the awards ceremony alone. We’ll talk in the morning.”

“But … I can’t go alone.” She looked confused. Obviously she hadn’t expected any resistance from me. Well, it was time for Lisa Mae to get to know the real me. I was a man who took care of his family, who had devoted his life to taking care of God’s family.

“I’m sorry, but God brought Marlene here to seek my help, Lisa Mae, and I will not turn my back when God calls. I can’t go with you, and you don’t seem to want to be here. My car keys are on the table next to the front door if you’d like to drive yourself to the ceremony. I’ll call James and ask him to take care of accepting the award.” I turned to go back into the kitchen, and moments later, I heard Lisa Mae slam the front door.

I pulled into my driveway after the awards ceremony, still fire-funky hot. I couldn’t believe that T.K. would choose to stay with that damn crackhead instead of coming to the awards ceremony with me. I’d never been so humiliated in my entire life. Everyone there was asking about him, including his little male-whore friend James. I couldn’t believe I had to watch him accept the award for T.K. All week I had been looking forward to T.K. getting up there to accept the award and acknowledging me so that everyone inside and outside the church would know that I was his woman.

Loretta greeted me at the door with a smile. “Well? Does the entire world know that you are the future first lady of First Jamaica Ministries?” But her face fell quickly after the angry look I gave her. “What? What happened? What’s the matter?”

“I don’t even want to talk about it,” I said angrily, slumping on the couch and punching the throw pillow next to me.

“Lisa Mae, honey, what’s the matter? Don’t tell me he broke up with you.” Loretta sat next to me and placed a hand gently on my knee.

I released a long, frustrated sigh. “No, he didn’t break up with me, but he didn’t go to the awards ceremony with me, either. All because of some stupid crackhead he had a baby with over twenty years ago.”

Loretta stopped stroking her hand over my knee and stood up in front of me, arms folded and head cocked to the side. “Crackhead? Baby? What in the world are you talking about? Just get to the point.”

“T.K.'s crackhead baby momma showed up at his house right before we were supposed to leave for the awards ceremony. Loretta, you should’ve seen her.” I shook my head as I recalled the image of this frightening woman sitting at
my man’s
kitchen table. “She was a hot mess. The woman was skin and bones, and she smelled so bad, I wanted to take a bath for her.”

“Ugh!” Loretta’s face crinkled, and her nostrils flared as if she knew the smell I was talking about. “So, what was she doing there?”

“She said she wanted T.K.'s help, but I think she wanted to help herself to some of T.K.'s money so she could get more drugs.”

“Did you tell him this?”

“Yes, I told him in so many words.” I folded my arms and exhaled. “Would you believe that man had the nerve to tell me that this was a family matter and that I wasn’t part of his family? Who the hell does he think he is? I’m gonna be his future wife!”

“Calm down, Lisa,” Loretta said gently. “He didn’t mean it. Sounds to me like things were just getting a little emotional. You know what kind of man he is. After all, that is his child’s mother. But the bishop knows on what side his bread is buttered and so does the church.”

Loretta was going to piss me off if she kept trying to defend his actions like that. “That doesn’t mean he had to embarrass me by not going to the awards ceremony with me. Loretta, I looked like a fool sitting at that table by myself. And all because of that crackhead.” I folded my arms and pouted like a child.

“Listen. You need to relax.” She wasn’t giving up. “I’m sure the bishop’s gonna call you and apologize soon. Or maybe you should call him.”

“Call him! I’m not calling him. What kind of lady calls a man after he disrespects her like this?”

“I’m not saying call him now. Like I said, you need to relax.”

About an hour later, I was lying on the sofa, still trying to cool my emotions. Loretta had left me alone for a while and went to take a shower when she realized she wasn’t going to be able to talk me down so easily. When the phone rang, I glanced at the caller ID. My face broke out in a grin, and
poof!,
like magic, my bad mood vanished. Loretta was right when she said the bishop would call.

I picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, Lisa. It’s T.K.”

I counted to three before I spoke because I didn’t want him to know how excited I was to hear from him. As angry as he had made me, I was still determined to stay the course until he was ready to take our relationship to the next level. And by showing him forgiveness after his cruel words, I would make him see yet again how perfect I was. Now all I had to do was give him the chance to apologize.

“Oh hi, T.K. How are you?” I asked nonchalantly.

“I’m all right. I just wanted to apologize for what happened at the house and for not going to the ceremony.”

I knew he would apologize! I thought with satisfaction. But remember, girl, control your temper. Control your mouth. Tell him everything you know he wants to hear for now. You can always set him straight about this whole thing later, after you get your ring.

“Oh, I understand. Like you said, it was a family matter. Truth is, I’m the one who should apologize. I guess I took it a little personally that you didn’t want to go to the event with me, and I completely forgot that you are a pastor and these are the type of things pastors should do.”

“Well, I appreciate that, Lisa Mae. You’re a much bigger woman than I gave you credit for. I just hope you can be a big woman about what I have to tell you.”

That didn’t sound good. I was banking on the fact that he had handled things with the crackhead and that she was now long gone so we could get back to living our lives after this small distraction. Now I wasn’t so sure that things were as status quo as I thought.

I held my breath. Was T.K. about to break up with me? Had I gone too far and shown him a side of me that I didn’t want him to see? If he broke up with me, I swear I was gonna hunt that junkie down and …

“Ah, what do you have to tell me?” I asked sweetly.

“I talked to Marlene, and I really think she wants to get herself clean.”

“I see,” I responded. So the crackhead wasn’t gone after all. “Well, I’ll be praying for her,” I lied.