The Forgotten: Aten's Last Queen (39 page)

He then motioned for the coffin to be brought inside. The slaves loudly shuffled under the weight as they entered the tomb. Horemheb and Nakht-min followed. Before fully entering, Horemheb turned back to us, “You might as well say your prayers now. We have little time to recover the entrance before the watchmen return to their towers.”

“What about the tomb seal?” Tutankhaten asked.

“It was not sealed. Your grandfather cared little about its fate. The guards will never know we were here when they check them tomorrow. Your father will lie anonymously among your family.”

He stuck his torch in a pile of rock for us. Then he disappeared into the entrance.

I was not sure what to say. Though we had parted ways gently, there was still so much that had been left unanswered, the main question being
why
. What was the point of it all? The struggle, the time, the extravagance… what did it all amount to? An empty tomb and secret burials?

I looked over at Tutankhaten. “Why did you bring him here?”

“Because he should be buried by his father. Grandfather lost one son. He does not need to lose them all,” he said with certainty.

“Father was never kind to you. You owe him nothing.” I said rather cruelly. I was surprised at my response, and yet not really so. I was speaking from my own sentiment.

“It is for the gods to decide what he deserves. Not me. I will remain a faithful son.” His voice was a little shaky as he finished.

“You surprise me. I’m glad to be here with you. You do honor to a man our country can no longer speak of. You put yourself in danger for someone who gave his throne to someone else and ignored your existence.”

Tutankhaten looked in my eyes. There were no tears, but there was a sadness hiding there. “I was never anyone’s first choice.”

I looked away sharply in shame. I knew he was not only referring to Father.

He continued, “I do not mean to make you feel bad, but it is true. It is all right. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. It’s just the way of things.”

“It’s not that simple.” I said. “I cannot imagine Ma’at being so cruel to someone such as you.”

“She is the… the goddess of balance, Djehuty’s wife. Well, she does not know me yet. I would like to surprise her.”

“She is a
god
. What is there that she does not know?”

“You do not sound convinced when you say that.” An astute observation. “Do you doubt the choice to return to the old worship?”

“I believe in Aten. He is all I need. But I will follow your lead. I am proud to follow you. You are smarter than I ever was at your age.”

Tutankhaten smiled slowly. “You never had to grow up so fast.”

“Yes, I did. I just chose not to. I did not want to step into adulthood. The more steps I took, the more people I left behind. My heart could take no more, and I found I could not let go. But when Mother died, I knew I could not live like that anymore. I could no longer wish for things in my life. I would have to make them for myself. Strange, but as I stand here now, burying a man who destroyed so much of my life, my sisters, our entire country almost, I find that my heart once again resists the change.”

He put his hand on my shoulder. “But now you must change. We both must. I need you. We can no longer be the children we once knew.”

I looked to him. “I will be here for you. I am sorry that my heart keeps my love from you. I cannot control its wandering dreams some days… well, most days, truthfully. I am learning, but you deserve better than me.”

“I have loved you since that first day at the pool. First, it was adoration. Then it was in awe. Now it is something more.” He paused and then shook his head as if shaking off an errant fly. “There is much more now than just us. Maybe one day I too will understand how I feel about all this. But right now, we have an entire nation to fix.”

I smiled at him, “Why do
boys
have such conflicting emotions running around their hearts at once?”

He looked into the tomb. “Is this your way of reminding me how you are always right? Even many seasons after the fact?”

“Well, isn’t that what a wife is supposed to do?”

A gentle wind rusted up the sands at our feet. It swirled miniature storms around our sandals.

“We should say a prayer for him. Do you know any prayers, besides Father’s hymn?” Tutankhaten asked.

“Perhaps that is all we need. And since there is no one around to hear the forbidden verses, I can lead us.” I took his hand off my shoulder and wrapped it within mine. I lowered my head, eyes closed.

“
The world came into being by Thy hand
,

According as Thou hast made them
.

When Thou rises they live
,

When Thou sets they die
.

Thou art lifetime in Thine own self
,

For one lives only through Thee
.

Eyes are fixed on beauty until Thou sets
.

All work is laid aside when Thou sets in the west
.

But when Thy rises again
,

Everything is made to flourish for the king
,

Since Thou didst found the earth

And raise them up for Thy son
,

Who came forth from Thy body
,

King of Upper and Lower Egypt, Akhenaten, and the chief wife of the king
,

Nefertiti, living and youthful forever and ever
.”

When I finished singing, I realized I would never be able to say those words again. This was the final goodbye to everything we had known before. It was not just for Father, it was for Aten as well.

Aten was to be forgotten.

Light began to peek through the tomb, slicing the night’s blackness as a hot blade through bread. The slaves began to emerge.

“Give him peace, Mighty Aten,” Tutankhaten finished.

*****

Since leaving Akhenaten, I had started having vivid dreams which would most often not stay with me after I awoke. My heart would race, but its cause would disappear from my ka’s vision.

This night was different.

My mother was present and standing before me. We were in the Great Temple of Aten in Akhenaten again. She took my hand and began walking. As we walked, the landscape changed. Instead of moving through the inner sanctuary, the landscape became dirtier and more crowded. The colors evaporated under the sunlight, and only shades of brown were left. Beside us, people blurred into view and moved frantically. They were different from me. As the people came into focus, I noticed their hair was lighter and their clothes scruffier than a native of Kemet. They were painting their doorways with blood. The color red seemed to burst forth into my eyes like rays from Aten, brighter than anything else around us. I shrank into my mother, fearful of the gore which looked to be blanketing the living. I could not smell it, though, thank the gods.

We entered one of the hovels to our right. Inside, younger versions of my mother and father were staring at a man I did not know. I looked beside me, and Mother was gone. My hand which had encircled hers lay at my side, empty.

There was a fire in the center of the one-room hut, and they were gathered around it on the dirt floor. The unfamiliar man had a walking stick across his lap. His eyes were closed and his hands folded. Mother and Father were watching him. Behind him sat a woman from the sand migraters. She had in her arms a young boy of about 3.

Father spoke. “I don’t understand. How can one God be responsible for the entire earth, the people, the plants, the animals? It does not make sense.”

The other man smiled, eyes still closed. “Brother, it is not for us to understand His ways, it is only for us to accept His love. It is simple. I know you want to believe it, and I know you can teach the people.”

“I have seen what you have done. It is wondrous. Will I be able to do these things?” Father asked with wide eyes.

The other man opened his eyes and met Father’s stare. “I am sorry, no. Adonai comes with His children, but your teaching may lead others to Him. You will be blessed and hold a special place in His heart. He will favor you and your wife. All you need to do is teach about His love.”

“What of offerings? Temples? What should the people leave out for Him? How can we take care of His needs?”

The other man laughed softly. “No, no, he does not require these things. No idols, no images.”

“That is all we have here. All the gods have images. You have grown up with them, taller than the palace walls, with people pouring out libations at their feet.” I could tell my father was getting irritated by his tone.

“This is different than anything we grew up with. He does not want images made of gold for Him.
He
provides for His people. Surely your own people will profit if all those libations are given back to them, to the poor and the hungry. Adonai will hear you. He does not need bribes. His love comes freely.”

“But His power will not be with me as with you. Why is this?”

The man reached aside of the fire pit and put a hand on father’s shoulder. “You do not need to create miracles to see Adonai. He is everywhere. His breath is the wind. His anger is the thunder. His laughter is the birds singing. He is around you. All you need to do is believe.”

“What in the name of Amun did He create us for then if we are not to tend His fields and provide for His needs? Why are we here if not as servants to the gods?”

“Only a man who has not fathered a child would ask that question.” The man looked back at the woman and boy behind him. They shared a smile. The boy with thick brown hair and blue eyes came up to him and crawled onto his lap. With a thumb in his mouth, he began to fall asleep.

“Your son is beautiful.” Mother spoke up. Tears collected along her eyelashes.

“Thank you,” said the woman. Her voice was low and scratchy. She had long yellow hair that looked like wheat. “I know Adonai will bless you as well.”

“I can hope. My womb has not yet opened even though I pray to the gods every night,” Mother responded.

“Call for Adonai. He is listening,” the woman replied kindly.

“How can the people relate to such a name? It is not Khemtu! And then I am to ask them to pray to something they cannot see, the wind? You ask the impossible, Djhutmose.”

Realization seemed to pinch me in the small of my back, sending shivers up my spine. This was my uncle, the fabled Moshe. My eyes stung with grateful tears. This was the man whose people had saved Amyntas and who thus saved my daughter. It was as if a missing piece had fit itself into my heart, and I never even knew it was missing.

“The impossible is creating life from the lifeless, creating man and woman from the dust. All we are asked to do is lead our people. If you ask for help, it will be given. Aaron has helped me greatly. I was honest with Adonai, and He provided what I needed.”

“But He is leaving? Who is left for us?” Father spoke. “All of our stories from the ancients are false?”

Djhutmose was about to speak, but something stopped him. His eyes blurred. He seemed to be listening to someone, but I could hear no voice. Then his eyes fixed again on my father.

“I would not say false, merely half-truths. The story of Seth and Osiris, it is a half-truth. The first half is told by Seth, as you have named him, about his attempt to take the heavens, but the second half is told by man to help make sense of it. Adonai is both the mother and father of us all. He has no wife, Isis, as your stories show Him to have. This is because it was too hard for your ancestors to comprehend a Being who is all in one. And Adonai was never defeated.

“Seth, as you call him, was banished from the heavens. He wanted to do as Adonai, create life, but only so his creations could serve him. It was not about love. On the day Adonai breathed life into man, Seth captured a part of His breath and created others. He populated other corners of the world and told false stories of his triumph, all so he would be worshipped. He builds himself up through lies and deception. So Adonai sent angels to come and fight for you. This is where the story of Horus comes to your people. Yet Seth’s hold over your history was too strong. One day, Horus will return and heal mankind from this evil.”

“What is an angel?” Mother inquired.

“Angels, such divine beings, work for Adonai and help us in our time of need. For man chose the earth over Him, and Adonai cannot return to this land. His people have taken it and poisoned it with greed and lust. Seth is one of the fallen angels who wanted power and worship for his own selfish desires. He twists the stories like those of Horus and their battles. He poisons pure thoughts. He demeans people by their sex or their age or the color of their skin. He plays off of these feelings and manipulates the creatures of the earth. But just as Adonai could not control mankind, so too is it that Seth cannot control your free will. You can choose Adonai. Most of your gods are simply angels hoping to guide you on the right path and show you love. I am here for Adonai, Himself. Seth and his followers create chaos. His people are enslaved and forever used to care for him. But Adonai has now come to save all people. Let Him save you, my beloved brother. He is listening.”

Suddenly there was a howling wind outside. It sounded almost like a man in pain. The hovel rattled about from the swelling of the wind. Looking out a window, I could see that the sky had gone black, and the only light creeping around us was from the fire. It danced on everyone’s faces and made subtle wrinkling appear lined with the blackest of kohl mixes. Everything was stark and pronounced. The softness disappeared.

“He has come,” Djhutmose said.

“It is the fallen angel Seth. He has heard us! He will punish us!” Mother whispered.

“This is Adonai’s helper.”

“An angel! So a blessing?”

“No. This one brings death,” he finished quietly.

The small hut rattled. A bright light filtered past the window, and we all closed our eyes. Sand swirled up around me, pounding at my exposed flesh. Its sharp sting caused my arms, legs, and head to ache. I took in a breath and could feel sand sucked down into my chest. It was stuck. I could not let it out. I could no longer breathe!