The Future Homemakers of America (22 page)

I had taken the afternoon off to meet Sandie, something I'd never done before, even when I had a toothache. I was real conscientious in my work so I resented it when Marguerite blamed my absence for her making a mistake with the Preston wedding list, two sets of grapefruit spoons getting despatched instead of one set of spoons and one of lobster forks.

To tell the truth, I had had it with Marguerite anyway. Only two weeks before, she had blamed me unjustly for a mix-up over Susie Henry's stemware, and it was plain to me Florida was just something she talked about. She had no intention of retiring, and I'd never get any further ahead while she reigned.

I was starting to think about setting up something on my own. Kath had done it. Vern had done it. I was lying awake nights, wondering what I could do. It would have been a consolation to me if I could have talked it over with Crystal, but she had no respect for bridal affairs. She said she couldn't think why anybody'd be picking out candelabra when they could have been trying to stop a war we had no business fighting. She'd started going on marches too. Skipping classes, going up to Washington with a bunch of reprobates. I just hoped she didn't get her picture in the paper. Her daddy ever knew she was hanging out with a crowd of draft-card-burners, it'd have broke his heart.

Peggy Dewey's Kitchen-Sink Supper

Fry an egg, sunny side up, sprinkle with salt and slap between two slices of Wonderbread, spread thick with mayo
.

Eat it over the sink.

58

I always phoned Kath on her birthday. It was her forty-fifth.

I said, ‘You don't sound too happy.’

‘I've got a bit of trouble, Peg,’ she said. ‘They reckon I'm not properly licensed. Somebody must have got on to them — you know how it is. Some folk can't bear to see you doing all right for yourself. So I had an inspector come round. I told him, I can drive with my eyes shut.’

I said, ‘So what happens now?’

‘I shall have to take their silly test,’ she said.

She promised to let me know how it went. But the next call I got was from Betty. I hadn't heard from her in so many weeks, I'd begun to think Slick Bonney had had his wicked way with her and she was avoiding me.

She was all a-flutter. ‘Peggy,’ she said, ‘I'm so excited, if I don't tell somebody I'll just burst!’

Sherry had gotten her big break in California, starring in a TV advertisement for ketchup. ‘A lot of stars started out in commercials,’ she said. ‘It can lead on to other things.’

I said, ‘You be sure to let me know when they start showing it.’

‘I will,’ she said ‘But it'll be a while yet. There's more to making a film than meets the eye.’

I said, ‘So those big Hollywood bucks won't be rolling in just yet?

You're gonna have to wait a little longer for that pool in your back yard.’

‘I'm doing just fine,’ she said. ‘I'm doing so well with my cosmetics I might even get my own area. Course, Deana could always use a little help.’

Deana was expecting brat number four, and Dwayne had got orders for Tinker, Oklahoma, so Betty was dreaming up ways of making their miserable lives sweeter. She had even offered to have Delta stay with her a while.

I said, ‘Why would you take on a child again, your time of life? How're you gonna get out at night, deliver your Avon?’

‘Carla can mind her,’ she said, ‘or Delta can come with me. She's so cute she'd be an asset. She can model the new eye colours.’

I said, ‘And what about your love-life? What's Slick have to say about it?’

‘Peggy Dewey!’ she said. ‘I do
not
have a love-life.’

All I could say was, Slick Bonney wouldn't have kept bringing bottles of Newts D'Amour scent if he wasn't expecting to hit pay dirt. I said, ‘Well, whatever you call it. Just stop and think before you start raising Deana's family for her. Put Slick's nose outta joint. You may need him some day.’ Slick owned Bonney's Farm Vehicles. Had done real well for himself.

Lois agreed with me.

‘Yup,’ she said. ‘A girl never knows when she might need a good price on a grab-loader. Course, get to our age, what we really need is men with Lincoln dealerships. Or mink warehouses. Dentists are good too. If ever I trade in Herb it's gonna be for someone who does bridge-work.’

I said, ‘Sandie's cute.’

‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘she liked you too. Listen, Peg. You remember Dorothy Kurlich and Deek? When 366 were at Drampton? You remember their kid's name?’

I thought it might have been Joe.

‘Me too,’ she said. ‘It was something began with J. Well, I saw in the paper there was a Joseph Kurlich, listed KIA. Makes you think. This keeps going a few more years, Kirk could get drafted.’

What I had heard about the draft board, they were pretty particular. They'd turned down Vern's step-son Eugene and all he had was fallen arches.

‘Course,’ she said, ‘Kirk could be the weapon that wins the war. Those gooks ever see him throwing one of his rages, they'll all come running outta the jungle with their hands held high. Maybe I should call up the White House, offer his services? You think they'd accept a collect call?’

Kath sent a clipping from the
West Norfolk Herald
with her letter.
FLYING COLOURS FOR KATH
, it Said.
DRIVING-SCHOOL WOMAN BEATS BAN
. And there was a picture of her, holding up a Learner Badge ripped in two.

‘What a carry-on,’ she wrote.

I passed with full marks, of course, but they still fined me, so there goes my new twin-tub. It's been in the papers about me, and I got a lot of people writing in, giving me testimonials, so that was nice.

I seen Jim Jex in the market, before I'd took the test. He said to me, ‘There goes all your winnings, down the drain,’ such a nasty smile on his face. He always was a spiteful bugger. That did cost me a fair bit, though, not being allowed to work. There was ladies already booked, I had to let down. And the inspector who come round, he said, ‘Well, you can always draw the unemployment.’ I told him I work for my money. This country's going to the dogs. And there's girls walking round Lynn in skirts not much wider than my hand. Do we get a Fen Blow they'll have windburn in places I won't mention.

59

Nineteen sixty-seven I started doing a little moonlighting. Here is how it come about. The Baker-Crawford wedding list was registered with us, Phoebe Baker marrying Hunter P. ‘Crawford, and Mrs Baker come in one day, nearly fainting away with exhaustion. I brought her an iced tea and she said, “Well, people are invited for Thursday to view the gifts, but I don't see how I'm going to be ready.’

Marguerite wasn't around, listening in and interfering, so I jumped right in and offered my services to set up the sip ‘n’ see, make sure everything looked nice. I didn't even think about getting paid. I just thought it'd be fun to do. Wednesday evening I drove up there, and everything was still in boxes. Gifts from the kitchen-shower, gadgets and pots and pans all mixed up with the good stuff. I could understand they were run off their feet, though. Phoebe was having ten bridesmaids, five flower-girls and two pageboys to carry the ring cushion, all got to have last-minute fittings and rehearsals. I just rolled up my sleeves and set to.

I spread a damask cloth on a table and laid out the Rose Point silver and the Royal Doulton and the Waterford crystal like for a real dinner. I wished I had brought along ribbons in old gold or terracotta, which were the wedding colours, but that's how you learn in business. I soon got that I never went anywhere without a full range of ribbons.

Then I had a brainwave, right there in front of Mrs Baker herself, probably turned around my whole life. I suggested I make up a bed with the lovely Porthault sheets, maybe lay out one of Phoebe's honeymoon negligées on top. She said, ‘Peggy, what an adorable idea!’ and a great many people who came to that sip ‘n’ see wrote down my name and number.

What I had in mind was, some day I'd be offering the complete service. Peggy Dewey Weddings. I started making it my business to know suppliers of the best of everything, which was why I recognised the quality of Audrey's new headed writing-paper, a good glazed paper, with the address engraved.

They were back in the US, in Yuba City, California. Lance had made 0-6 Colonel, just like Lois always predicted.

‘Well, here we are,’ Audrey wrote.

Lance drew Beale AFB. We managed a long-promised trip to Europe before we left for the States. Paris, Rome and Florence. I could hardly tear myself away. Lance got a bug, unfortunately, so we had to do the Uffizi Gallery and the Pitti Palace without him. The boys were lost for words when they saw all that wonderful art. As I reminded them, Europe was civilised when America was just a place where the buffalo roamed.

Lance says next vacation we are going to see some of the wonders of the United States, so I guess we're talking Grand Canyon. Also, we're handy here for the Sierras, so we're planning to do some hiking on weekends, and maybe some river-rafting too. Quality time with our boys. I feel I hardly know them.

I didn't want to hear about quality time. Me and Crystal had had the biggest falling out. She had quit school, said there was no point in anything any more because we were all gonna get vaporised in World War III.

She slammed outta my apartment one day, and I didn't see her again for more than a year. I phoned Vern.

I said, ‘If you happen to hear from her, you'll let me know?’

‘Sure,’ he said. ‘But I warned you not to allow her so much rope. Can't say I'm surprised.’ He had no idea how my heart was breaking.

I said to Lois, ‘Way Vern talks, I'm to blame for Crystal and the way Crystal talks, I'm to blame for everything else. Black slavery. Annihilation of the Indian. Nucular radiation …’

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I heard you had a hand in that. Don't worry, doll. She's flexing her muscles a little, that's all. She'll be back.’

I said, ‘You getting grief from Sandie?’

‘No,’ she said. ‘All she does is practise on her cornet. But you never know. There's still time. And what I saw of Crystal, you've done a great job raising her. Hell, Peg, she coulda turned out like Deana Gillis.’

Deana had split up from her husband, Dwayne, and gone back home to Converse with Dawn, Danni and baby Dixie. Delta was already there getting spoiled by her gramma Betty. I don't know what Carla had to say about it, having to give up her room when she had school and studying and her Saturday job at Donut Heaven. As I said to Lois, seemed to me Carla had more need of a decent night's sleep than Deana, sitting on her butt all day, trimming her split ends and watching TV.

Lo said, ‘I guess she stays glued to the set, watching out for thefilm star of the family.’

Sherry's ketchup commercial had been on. She had played the role of a tomato. After that she'd tried out to be the hands in a handcream ad, but we hadn't heard any more” about it. Hands weren't exactly Sherry's star feature.

Lo said, ‘Deana getting support from the husband?’

I said, ‘Well, he's quit the service. According to Betty he's promised to pay regular once he's had better luck with his metal detector.’

‘Right,’ she said. ‘He sounds like a guy with a firm grip on reality. So who's paying the bills? Poor old Betty digging deep again?’

Didn't matter what happened, I never heard Betty complain. Lois thought she must get some kind of weird satisfaction out of picking up the pieces. ‘Makes her feel like some kinda heroine,’ she said. ‘Either that, or she's just plain dumb.’

I said, ‘I don't know any of us'd do different. You telling me if you had grandbabies, you'd see them go hungry?’

‘Go hungry?’ she said. ‘Are you crazy? All they need is breakfast at Bob's Big Boy and they could live off the calories for a week. Anyway, you know what I'm getting at. There's something about Betty, like she's a great big empty space waiting to suck in trouble. There'll always be a story with Betty, I guarantee you. There'll always be some reason why Deana can't pull her weight and Dumbo or whatever his name is can't get off the stick and feed his kids, and then there'll be some tragic reason Sherry needs a hand-out. One of these days Betty's gonna get up and find a line of starving Africans outside her door. You can depend on it. And what's up with Gayle? Last number I had for her, there's never anybody home. It just rings out. You know what I think? I think she's fell of the wagon.’

I feared Lois might be right. I had even called the Over Easy in Greensboro and they said Gayle was long gone.

60

I tiptoed around for a while, keeping my day job. I helped out a couple of Mrs Baker's friends, just organising gift displays, writing out place-cards, that kinda thing, but I knew if Marguerite ever found out what I was doing I'd be road meat, so I planned to stay one step ahead of her. October I gave notice I was leaving the Registry, and her face was something to behold.

‘I wish you luck,’ she said, like she really wished me poison ivy. ‘You'll need it,’ she said. ‘There's a lot more to the wedding business than you know.’

She underestimated me. I wasn't just talking about seating plans. I had contacts in ice-carving. I knew the best people for the dyeing of satin shoes. I even had some ideas on exclusively created punches, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, to co-ordinate with wedding colours.

I always think of ‘68 as the year of weddings. First, Peggy Dewey Weddings went into business. Then Jackie Kennedy married that Greek. Boy, was Betty bitter about that.

‘I'm finished with that woman,’ she said. ‘I feel so let down.’

Lois roared when I told her. ‘Tell her I had my radar locked on him myself. Jackie Kennedy didn't snap him up, I was gonna dump Herb Moon, force myself to go and live on that floating palace.’

I said, ‘I thought you got seasick?’

‘There's pills,’ she said.

Then there was Gayle. She called me up just before Christmas, finally broke the silence.

‘Peggy,’ she said, ‘A wonderful thing has happened. I have said “Yes” to Jesus. And Jesus has brought me another chance of happiness. I'm marrying Lemarr Passy, and I want you to be there.