The Future Homemakers of America (39 page)

I said, ‘Not enough time.’

‘… we can have a full and frank. Where is that moron waitress with my beer? Clear the air about all the ways I ever offended your tight-ass sensibilities. You up for that, Kath?’

Kath said, ‘You really want to fight with me, Lois?’ She said it so calm and even, but there was something dangerous in it. Lois quieted down.

The girl had brung a mountain of nachos and we sat in silence for a while. Not a one of us was hungry, but we still kept pecking at them. Then Lois caught hold of my hand, on the way to the dish. ‘I'm sorry,’ she said.

I looked across to Kath. So far from home, caught up in stupid arguing. I grabbed her hand. Lois grabbed the other one. We looked like we were trying to make contact with the dead.

Lois said, ‘I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.’

The fajitas arrived.

‘You must admit, though, girls,’ she said. ‘Betty's guy is definitely more like a Stump than a Slick.’

Kath just shook her lilac head.

98

I stopped knowing what day of the week it was. I hardly even knew the time of day. We just rotated back and forth, motel, hospital, Betty's place, coffee shop.

I left Kath at the mall, getting a few things for Betty, and I drove across to State. First thing I saw when I stepped out of the elevator was Lois, standing by the ice machine talking to an old guy. It was only when he spoke I realised it was Ed.

He still wore a crewcut. He was still kinda hard and square. Only he had grown wider, same as the rest of us, and his face had deep, deep lines. He looked like a real old boy who still liked to stay in shape. An old grandpop who did push-ups.

Lo said, ‘You know who this is, Ed?’

He shook his head.

She said, ‘It's Peggy Dewey. From 96
^th.
You remember Vern?’

He chuckled. ‘Vern Dewey!’ he said. ‘That young son of a gun. Well, I'll be darned.’

I said, ‘How're you doing, Ed?’

‘Good,’ he said. ‘I'm doing good. Vern okay?’

I didn't trouble him with the details.

Lois said, ‘I was just saying to Ed, us girls have kept up all these years. It's a pity the boys didn't do the same. Herb's always wondering where everyone got to.’

Let him wonder, was what I thought. I knew Vern wouldn't give a pig's patootie to know where Ed was at. Nor Herb neither, after the business with Kirk.

Sherry had arrived too. Her and Carla were sitting in with Betty.

I said, ‘You still in Warsaw, Ed?’

‘Still in Warsaw,’ he said.

I said, ‘Long-distance driving? Is that what I heard?’

‘Pretty much,’ he said.

‘Oh,’ Lois said, digging me in the ribs, ‘there's Mr Stump. I'll just go and have a word to him.’

I hadn't even noticed Slick come in.

I said, ‘Well, it's a sad thing to see you under these circumstances, Ed.’ I was talking like I was at the wake already.

‘Yup,’ he said. ‘I come down on Route 65, far as Nashville, crossed into Arkansas at Memphis, slept in the rig.’

I said, ‘I'm in Dallas now. Crystal's in Maine.’

‘Yup,’ he said, like he already knew. ‘Could have gone right on down to the Pontchartrain interchange and then come across on Route 10 …

Lois was flagging me to walk with him a while, away from where she was standing with Slick.

‘… I come the Fort Worth way, though. Come round on the Lyndon B. Johnson Freeway and then south on 35.’

When Sherry come out of Betty's room, snuffling into a Kleenex, Ed figured it was his turn and Slick was right behind him. Carla came to the door, gave me a tired wave.

‘Dad,’ she said. ‘I'd appreciate it if you'd wait a while and let Slick come on through. Mom's asking for him.’

Ed went back to his seat, never said anything. I was cat-napping, Lo was flicking through the property pages. Suddenly she said, ‘Uh-oh. There's some kinda Spandex Freak Show just tumbled outta the elevator.’

It was Deana, with Dawn and Dixie. They went into a huddle with Ed, never even spoke to us. A nurse went in to Betty. Then another one. I was just starting to wonder what was keeping Kath when she appeared. She had brought cut flowers and cologne.

I walked across to Betty's room. Thought I'd wave to her at least. Let her know we were there. I couldn't really see her, though. Just Carla standing there and Slick hunched over in his chair. A nurse come and shut the door in my face.

I heard Deana say, ‘It's not right. We're family. We shouldn't be waiting out here.’

Dixie went to get a soda from the machine. Lois started clearing candy-wrappers out of her bag. Ed was cracking the visor of his Wooster Cement baseball cap back and forth. Kath just sat there, gazing into space.

Then she started to gather her things together. ‘There's no sense just sitting,’ she said. ‘Why don't I come back later? You give her the flowers. And just dab a bit of cologne on her pillow. That's got a nice refreshing smell. Tell her I'll be back later.’

I said, ‘Don't go, Kath.’ And I heard something inside Betty's room. Maybe it was just somebody moving a chair. Or a voice. Something, though. And Lois heard it too. She looked at me and looked away again fast.

It was a while before Carla come out. ‘She's gone,’ she said. ‘Five minutes ago. She's gone.’

Deana started howling. Dawn followed suit.

I heard Lois say, ‘Shit!’

Carla said we could go in and see her, if we wanted, after Slick and the family.

I said, ‘You all right, honey?’

‘No, Aunty Peggy,’ she said. ‘I'm not one bit all right.’

We waited in line. Slick come out eventually, didn't look anywhere except down and there was a nurse had hold of his arm, taking him somewhere private I suppose. Then Deana and her brats and Sherry went in, keening and holding each other up, and Ed, shuffling in behind them. He looked kind of bashful. That just left us, plus a domestic pushing a floor-polisher around.

Lois said, ‘Would it be really bad form if I didn't go in and see her?’

I said, ‘No. Idiot.’

She said, ‘You going in?’

I said, I guess.’

She said, ‘You going, Kath?’

‘Oh yes,’ she said. ‘I believe in it. That's all part of it. That's how you start getting used to the idea they're really gone.’

We all went together.

‘See?’ I said to Lo. ‘It's only Betty. There's nothing to be afraid of.’

There was, though. It was the first time I ever had seen a dead person.

Lois whispered, ‘It's like getting in to see the Pope or something. It's like meeting somebody who's done something really amazing.’

That was about right. Betty had upped and left us. Little Betty, who never went anywhere or did anything.

Kath kissed her goodbye, so I did too, but really we'd said goodbye the night before. Only we didn't know it at the time. Lo stayed far back from the bed.

She said, ‘Is she cold?’

She wasn't. But she was definitely gone. There was no arguing against it. I guess that was what I didn't like about it. We couldn't play it again.

Just as we were leaving, Lo changed her mind and went right over to her. She touched her hand, fluffed her hair.

‘Bye, Pie-Crust Queen,’ she said. ‘Rest in peace. God knows you earned it.’

Once every twenty-five years or so Lois does something makes you realise why you love her.

When we come out, Ed was down the hall, breaking his knuckles on the soda machine. There was no sign of Carla and the rest of them.

Kath said, ‘Drop of the hard stuff. That's what I need.’

So we drove round to O'Malley's, to drink Betty God speed.

Lo said, ‘Peg, I noticed she had a couple of whiskers under her chin. Will they get rid of them? Will the mortician get rid of them, before people come viewing her?

I said,
‘Who?
’

‘Whiskers,’ she said. ‘You have to promise me now, if I do go before you, you'll make sure I'm tidied up before they put me on display. Bring your tweezers. It's no use leaving it to Herb. He'll be too busy picking out the wood for my casket.’

I said, ‘You are nuts.’

‘Very possibly,’ she said. ‘But I still don't want people knowing I have facial hair.’

Kath said, ‘The fourth of August – it's the Queen Mother's birthday.’

Lo said, ‘Well there you go. Betty always looked for a royal tie-in.’

It sure beat dying on Nutro Labs Opportunity Day.

99

Twenty-four hours after Betty passed over, all hell broke loose.

Sherry wanted her cremated. She said she'd take the urn back to New Mexico, scatter the ashes in the desert, dust to dust and all that. Slick said Betty would want a plain Christian burial with a sitting-up and a Methodist preacher. Ed said why didn't Slick Bonney butt out of what only concerned family and if that was too hard for him to understand, he'd be happy to take him outside and make it real clear. He said this even though he had his explaining hand bound up. I guess the soda machine had won.

Then there was Lois, worried about getting back for the closing on the Wyatt apartment. Danni got in a fight with another girl and came home with three teeth knocked out. It was over a guy. And Deana announced that her mom was getting nothing short of a top-line sealer casket, limousines, notices in the paper, everything, and she was willing to go into debt the rest of her life to pay for it.

‘Let her,’ Carla said. ‘Soon as Mom's laid to rest, I'm outta here, address unknown.’

I said, ‘Not unknown to me, I hope.’

‘No,’ she said. ‘Just to all these misfits, claim to be my kin.’

I was on the peace-keeping team. Me and Kath were negotiating with Slick; Lois and Carla were trying to get Ed to see reason. By the time we struck a deal, Deana had already picked out a mahogany casket and a black knit two-piece from Barney's Big ‘n’ Beautiful.

So they got a plot in the Live Oak Garden of Rest. Just a single. Slick conceded it wasn't the right time to discuss whether she'd have liked space kept for her de facto or for her lawful wedded. As Lois said, ‘Once Ed climbs back into his rig, he'll soon forget. Let a little more cement dust settle between his ears and he won't care if you bury Mickey Mouse on top of her.

They booked the Converse Assembly of God for two-thirty, with viewing of the body the evening before. None of us went for that.

Kath said, ‘I did it with John Pharaoh, but only ‘cause there wasn't anybody else to do it. I'd already took my leave. I like things to be done properly, but I don't like to see a meal made of it.’

Lois said, ‘S'okay, Kath. You can leave that to Deana. I think she may be planning to throw herself into the grave.’

I phoned the Passy Tabernacle. They played ‘Morning Has Broken’ while you held. Gayle and Lemarr were on the road, of course, but the girl on the switchboard said my message would be passed along.

Lois said, ‘I bet it will, too. Gayle’ ll need to stand down the prayer squad. Reassign it where it's still needed.’

Two days later we got a package delivered by FedEx. A Bible cake, for the funeral tea, selected from the Passy Tabernacle Gift Catalogue, and a video cassette containing a personal tribute from Pastor Gayle.

Carla called Deana. She said, ‘Can you bring your VCR round?’

‘No,’ she said. ‘It's broke.’

Dixie come around soon after, meant to be helping make sandwiches.

Carla said, ‘Since when has your mom been living with a broken VCR?’

Dixie said, ‘It ain't broke. The repo man took it.’

Me and Kath and Lois got our hair done, then we went for pasta. They were having funeral meats back at Betty's after the burying, but I had to drive Lois straight out to the airport.

She said, ‘Well, I guess we should be eating chicken pot-pie and drinking iced tea, in memory of Betty, but I'm having red wine in the biggest glass they have.’

We got a jug.

I said, ‘You getting collected at the other end?’

‘No,’ she said, ‘I left my run-about parked at Kennedy. I'm going straight to my office, put in some catch-up time.’

Kath said, ‘How are your nippers going on? I still haven't seen any pictures.’

Lo brung out a little wallet with photos of Cory. He was just a baby when they were taken.

‘I don't have anything recent,’ she said. ‘He's two years old and I don't have a good picture of him. But that's Marisa for you. She's a bitch. Just ‘cause things didn't work out between her and Kirk, don't mean she has to punish us. It breaks Herb's heart. All the stuff he'd like to be doing with Cory.’

I said, ‘Doesn't Kirk get access?’

‘No,’ she said. ‘Well, he probably could if he hired an attorney but so far he didn't.’

Kath was studying the photos. ‘And how about Kirk?’ she said. ‘Peg tells me he's not been well.’

Lo said, ‘He's getting physio, help loosen him up. He'll be okay.’

Kath said, ‘And what's his temper like these days? He still got a paddy on him?’

Lois said, ‘He's twenty-eight, Kath. You're talking about him like he's still a brat.’

She drained her glass. Kath drained hers.

Kath said, ‘No, well, I just wondered … He seems to have trouble keeping in work. I just wondered.’

Slick came to the house just before two, wearing the identical same jacket as Ed. They were both sweating, neither of them being jacket kinda men. I was at the window, watching for the limos. A car I recognised pulled up and Grice Terry climbed out, carrying a cushion wreath of yellow rosebuds. I ran out to him. I said, I couldn't believe my eyes. You drove all this way for a person you only knew for five minutes? You're such a darling boy.’

I hadn't shed many tears since the afternoon we said farewell to Betty, but I sure made up for it when I seen Grice. He gave me a handkerchief, never been used.

I said, ‘And you're wearing mourning, too. It suits you.’

‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘I'm having a dry run, ready for Miss Lady.’

I said, ‘Why? Is she fading?’

‘No,’ he said. ‘She's got the yard people working all hours. She's re-designing the flower beds.’

Just then the hearse and cars turned on to Gibb.

Grice said, ‘I'll move my car. I'll follow behind when you move off.’