The Ghost and The Hacker (Dark Fire Book 3) (10 page)

I shiver just thinking about it.  "Send me the extra bill."

"You don't need to-"

"I'm crashing at your place, Nicki.  I do need to.  And thanks."

Griffin looks back into the living room.  Justin has a drowsy Andy rolled up in his arms, a blanket over them both as they snuggle down onto the couch.  Looks like they're not going home tonight.

"You tell Cy yet?" Griffin asks, putting his hand on the door to leave.

I let out a breath.  "No.  I don't even know what to tell him."

"He already knows about your girl.  He'll understand."  They open the door and slip through.

"Yeah.  Thanks guys."

"No problem."  And they're gone, down the hallway and around the corner to the elevator.

Andy and Justin are snuggled on the couch when I pass by.  Cy's gone to his room, I imagine.  I'll have to talk to him tomorrow.

I split rent with him, so I have no idea how he'll take all this.  We've been roommates for years, all the way back to the early days when Dark Fire was just getting started.  Cy and I answered a call for house musicians at a local club.  He blew everyone away with his amazing guitar skills.  If it has strings, Cy can play it.

He was equally impressed that I could play the keyboard.  I tossed out a couple of Elton John songs, Ben Folds, The Beatles, and then played backup while he played Free Bird by Skynyrd.  I put down a drum tempo and then played harmony.  When he started singing, so did I.

The manager, Dean, hired us together and told us to start practicing.  A few weeks later, some guy who played bass and another guy on drums asked if they could try out to join us as a real band.  The bassist said he could sing, so we spent an afternoon jamming and the next thing I know, we're performing all over New York City as Dark Fire.

Cy has been my roommate almost since that manager told us to start practicing together.

And now, I'm moving out.  For a girl.  A girl I'm not even dating.

I sleep okay, but I wake up way too early for a weekend, especially since I went to bed so damn late.

I make coffee and wait for Cy to wake up.

Sarah

I don't know what I expected.  It certainly wasn't to get a hand delivered letter from Cy Epson Monday evening.

"He moved out. Here's his cell number and his new address in case you need anything.  He wanted you to have it."

I force my hand to take the folded page he's holding out to me.  "I don't understand," I murmur.

"Okay, so here's what I know.  I've lived with the guy practically since we met.  In all that time, no matter what our woman troubles were, he's never been fucked up over a girl like he is with you.  In fact, he's never actually been a mess over a woman
at all
."

I feel my jaw drop and I can only stare at Cy Epson, the lead guitarist from Dark Fire, as he tells me how his best friend is a mess over me.

"One of our friends just got married.  He asked if he could crash in the empty apartment and he tells me he needs to move to make things right with you."

I just nod when he looks at me.

"But here's the deal.  He'll still be spending time with me.  He's my best friend and he's not planning to move all his shit to someone else's apartment.  So you might still see him around.  Cool?"  He bends down so we're almost at eye level and looks at me straight on.

"I never asked him to move, Cy."

"Did he tell you he would?"

I think back.  "He did."

"Then he will, whether I think this whole thing with his past and you and the cops is all a bunch of bullshit or not."

I jolt back. 
Bullshit?

He saw me jolt.  "It's not
that
kind of BS.  What I mean is that I think this whole thing would all be over in a week if we just called our lawyers.  It's what we pay them for.  They make shit like this go away.  But Zach's convinced he has to fix this for you.  So you can be safe.  That's what he kept saying.  He needs you to be safe."

I lean against the doorjamb, trying not to cry.  "I miss him, Cy.  I've missed him for years.  When I finally let go, there he is, getting closer and closer to me.  But then he tells me that he can't be with me, even though he's the one moving closer to
me
."

"Because he wants to keep you safe," Cy interjects.

"Well, I'm going to do the same thing for him."  I stand straight and turn to close the door but Cy's hand blocks me.

"Please don't do anything that would get either of you in trouble," Cy begs.

"I would never get in trouble for this," I promise.

Cy nods and lets me close the door.  I don't tell him that the only reason I won't get in trouble is because I've never been caught and I don't plan to be now.

I go back to my room where my new computer is up and running and ready.  They turned my internet connection on while I was at work.  I know I should start with a basic search of the Lakemont Police Department's database, but I'm having trouble even sitting in the chair in front of the desk.  Buying the computer was the easy part.  Putting the parts together was like muscle memory.

Falling back into my old habits feels a little like failure, even if it is for a good cause.

I want to do the right thing, but what
is
the right thing?  Is it trying to clear Zach for
me
- because I want to be with him?  Or am I doing it for
him
?  Really, he's not safe with a warrant for his arrest floating around out there.  That kind of publicity could very well wreck Dark Fire.

As mad as I am at Zach for pushing me away repeatedly, even while drawing me closer, I still understand
why
he did it.  His whole life, his income and future and reputation - as well as those of every other guy in Dark Fire - all rides on me keeping my mouth shut.  No one can make the connection between Zach Coffield, son of Roger Coffield of Lakemont, Pennsylvania, and Zach Moore of New York City and Dark Fire.  And I'm really the only one around who can make that connection.  Being seen with him is tantamount to turning him in myself.

I sit on the floor with leftover takeout in my lap while I stare at my computer.  The furthest I got toward making that database search was to open a browser window.  In the end, I typed in the website for a free gaming site and now, little cartoon people play across my screen waiting for me to make my selection.  I look up and see a pudgy kitty try to catch and eat sushi.

Tossing the remaining half of a cold spring roll back into the plastic carton it was in, I stand and brush off my lap.  I know the easiest solution to this problem, it's just something I've been avoiding for my own emotional wellbeing.

"'Lo?"  Zach's voice sounds so perfect, even over a cell phone connection, that I want to race upstairs and see him while I talk to him.  But he isn't upstairs anymore.  He moved.  Which is why I have his phone number in the first place.

"Hi, it's...it's me."

"Hi Me."  He's flirting the same way we used to when we were teenagers.

"I need to ask you some questions."

"Oh, uh...  What questions?  Does this have anything to do with what Cy said this afternoon?"

"I have no idea.  What did Cy say this afternoon?"

"He said he thought you might get into some trouble trying to help me."

I put the remaining Chinese food into the fridge and drop my dirty fork into the dishwasher.  "I'm doing everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen."

"Yeah, but that's not very reassuring knowing you.  That just means you don't think you'll get caught because you haven't before."

How does he know this?  Does he really remember me that well? 
"Actually, I really am doing everything I can to not fall back on hacking.  That's why I'm calling.  I need some information."

"If you've been hacking into my life since I left, I'm pretty sure you already have my social security number and mother's maiden name," he says pointedly.

"Your soc was on some paperwork dad brought home less than a week after you went missing.  I did a search on your mother's obituary.  Her maiden name was listed in the article."  Stupid easy to get her info, knowing what I know about him, but there were times I wondered if Dad left that paperwork out where I could find it.  He had to know I was trying to find Zach.

Maybe he was counting on it.

I shake myself.  This isn't why I called.

"Ah," he says quietly.

I have no idea what that means so I press on.  "I'm calling because I need to know if you've ever had anyone look into your old alias.  Anything that would set off any alarms if someone were to do a search now."

"You mean, if
you
were to do a search now."

I'm quiet while I consider how to answer that.  "If I
were
to do a search, would it get flagged?"

I hear him sigh in the phone.  "I was sort of hoping you gave up hacking."

I close my eyes and drop onto my bed.  "You realize you don't get any say in how I live my life, right?"

"You know, that's something that's been bothering me and I think it's time we settled something between us."

I'm not used to Confrontational Zach.  Being Roger's son, Zach Coffield had a tendency to shy away from confrontation.  Bringing attention to himself never ended well at home.  Zach
Moore
apparently has learned to stand up for himself a little more.  An inner voice argues that maybe if he'd stood up for himself at seventeen, he wouldn't have ended up hiding for years.  I push that argument aside and let it go for now.

"Okay," I say on a long breath out.  "Settle what?"

"All these years, I was under the impression that
you
didn't want to see
me.
  According to your dad, you wanted me to let you live your life, which I did.  And all these years, you were under the impression that I ditched you without a word.  Left you behind.

Well, neither one of us knew the truth, okay?  You're right; I don't get to have any say in your life because I haven't been a part of it.  But stop holding that against me.  It wouldn't be fair if I held it against you that you never answered that phone call."

His voice is angry, but I get it.  "That's not why I keep telling you that," I explain.

"Then why?"

"Because
you're
the one who keeps saying you can't be a part of my life.  You can't say that, then turn around and hand me an apartment filled with furniture in your building so you can keep an eye on me.  You can't t-touch me the way you did..."  The memory of that afternoon in Cy's guest room makes me stutter.  My body knew exactly what to expect in his arms and it haunts me.  "You can't kiss me and make love to me and then turn around and tell me I have to leave.  Either you accept that our lives are connected again, or you refuse, but you can't have it both ways, Zach.  If I decide to do whatever I can to guarantee that your future is free and clear, then you'll just have to deal with the fact that I might be hacking again."

"Is that what we did?" he asks.  I can hear him breathing hard into the phone.

"
What we did?
  What?"  I'm not sure what he's asking me.  I expected questions about the furniture claim or maybe something about my hacking, but I don't understand this question at all.

"We made love?" he asks.

This shuts me up like nothing else.  Every time I get ranting, it seems I let that little bit of info slip out; first to Lucy, now to Zach.  But it's out there, so I might as well own it.

"Didn't we?"  I try to sound confident, but I'm sure it sounds more like a mouse is asking the question.

"Sarah?"

"Yeah?"

"Open your door and let me in."

Oh god, he's here!  What the hell is he doing here?  Do I let him in?

"Sarah?  Do you want me to knock?"

I drop my forehead against the door and it makes a thump noise.

"What are you doing here, Zach?"

"I was hanging with Cy when you called.  I've been standing here talking to your door for most of the conversation."

Soundproofing here is amazing,
I thought briefly.  I hadn't even realized he was out there.

"And what's going to happen if you come in?" I ask, pretty sure I know the answer to that regardless.