The Girl on the Outside (12 page)

“Bloodthirsty bunch, eh?” Arnold asked, sensing her thoughts.

She lowered her head and whispered, “Golly, I'd hate to have them against me.”

Even though she was hungry, she picked at her ham sandwich and slowly sipped lemonade.

Finally Arnold said, “I'm having to leave just when things are getting exciting in this town. I've never seen so many newsmen in so small a place.”

“I met one all the way from Denmark this morning.”

“Met him?”

“Yeah. Per Laursen. I have connections, you know.”

“Must be nice to have a brother like Burt.”

“Comes in handy sometimes.”

“Oh, I don't just mean having him as a news reporter.”

“Aw, he's all right.”

“I think he's one of the greats in this town even though he's not quite thirty.”

“You would think that.” Sophia blurted out.

“Well, don't you?”

Be cautious, she told herself. Don't ruin this moment. “He's my brother,” she said and grinned.

Arnold laughed. “That's no answer to my question, Sophia.”

“Please, let's leave it at that, okay?” She reached across and placed her hand over his.

The strange men were gradually replaced by more familiar faces as students came into the place. Then there was lots of talk and laughter. Marsha and the whole gang arrived. Sophia immediately thought of the pact. She didn't want Arnold to know about it, so she turned away from the entrance and lowered her eyes.

“Your friends,” Arnold said.

She was of a mind to deny them and say let's go. But the place was too small to escape unnoticed. In no time she was discovered and surrounded. Marsha and Lisa squeezed in beside Sophia, Meredith in beside Arnold. The others stood about.

“Why weren't you at the gym like you said?” Sophia asked.

“I tried calling you back, but you'd gone already,” Marsha said. “Sorry 'bout that, but I see your time was not wasted.” She nodded toward Arnold and winked at Sophia.

“No. I got all the classes I wanted with no sweat. Hardly anybody I knew was there.”

“How can that be? We were told there was no school, eh, Lisa?”

“Who told you that?” Sophia asked.

“Meredith called me,” Lisa said.

“And who told Meredith?” Sophia turned her attention to Meredith whose pink cotton quilted skirt took up a lot of space with its white ruffled petticoats. The sight of Meredith's skirt and the cool pink, cotton voile blouse, trimmed in dainty white lace, made Sophia flush. The flush spread as she looked down at her too long, too big, striped dress remembering the nice skirt and blouse she had left crumpled on her bed. “Meredith.…”

“… and where have you been that I've not met you before?” Meredith was asking Arnold as Sophia called her name.

“I might ask you that,” Arnold said looking at Meredith with a warm smile.

Sophia swallowed hard trying to stop the knot at her throat but it spread, leaving her scarlet and speechless under Meredith's cold stare.

Marsha rescued Sophia when she said, “He's been busy with Sophia.”

“Oh,” Meredith put a hand to her strangely attractive hairdo and widened her blue eyes. “Where I come from boys and girls aren't that busy unless, of course, they're engaged.”

“We really haven't had enough time, and I'm leaving the day after tomorrow,” Arnold said and touched Sophia's hand.

“How exciting,” Meredith said. “Take me with you.”

“Ha!” Sophia laughed. “Where I come from a girl wouldn't dare ask a fellow she didn't know to take her away with him, especially if she didn't know where he was going.” Sophia stood up. “Excuse me, y'all. Arnold, I think we'd better go.”

“We just got here, Sophia,” Marsha said. “Don't go.”

“Yeah, stay. Let's goof off a bit. This might be our last chance, you know,” Kim said.

“Remember tomorrow,” Lisa said and quickly placed her hands over her ears, eyes, and mouth.

Everybody started giggling and making the symbols.

“What's that all about?” Arnold asked.

“Oh, that's our.…”

“No!” Sophia shouted at Meredith. “Only seniors. Remember what we said now.” Quickly she collected herself and smiled. “Really, I must go.” She took Arnold's hand and started out. She stopped, made the symbol, and waved good-bye. She left laughing.

“What's with hands over ears, eyes, and mouth?” Arnold asked as soon as they were outside.

“You're still not a senior, Arnold Armstrong,” she said, hugging his arm closely.

“Well, I won't worry. One can't go too far wrong with those symbols: seeing no evil, hearing no evil, and speaking no evil, right?” He looked at her and smiled.

“Right,” she said. What a narrow escape, she thought as she recalled Meredith's attempt to tell Arnold about the pact. And who had told Meredith that there was no school, she wondered. Again she felt the coldness of the stare Meredith had given her. Suddenly she was aware of the same uneasiness in her thoughts about Meredith that she had felt with those tense, rough men who were now crowding the sidewalks around Chatman.

Chapter 14

Eva's day had begun with the sound of Mr. Charles's old rooster crowing. Eva lay still, listening to the morning sounds. In her mind's eye she saw the clucking hens lazily tumbling off the roost, their wings slightly spread. Suddenly she was wide awake, her mind full of Mrs. Floyd's late visit and the thought of no school for her today. How could the governor do such a thing? Why have the troops, if they were not there to get them into school?

She sat up on the side of her bed trying to close her mind to all thought. No use. Her mind zigzagged from one thing to another, leaving her confused. Never in her life had she missed a first day of school. Always the excitement of going had built up over the days to a point where, on the night before, she could not sleep. The morning found her the first up, getting ready to go. What if the judge says we can't go to Chatman—ever? She must not think of that. It would be a long wait for his Decision.

She went to the clothes closet, took out her black and white dress and spread it on Tanya's bed. Quickly she placed her new socks and black-and-white saddle shoes near the dress. Stepping back, with one hand on her hip, the other on her chin, she surveyed the results. Neat, she thought and smiled. But her mind was immediately clouded—no school.

Quietly she put the things away and lay on her bed trying to fight the sadness welling up inside. Stirrings of her father who was an early riser aroused her. She threw on her robe and went into the kitchen.

“Morning, Daddy.”

Already her father had started breakfast. His hands were covered with flour. He answered her with a quiet greeting. “Mornin'. What y' doin' up so early?”

“Couldn't sleep. Old first-day-of-school routine, I guess.”

“Good habit, I would say.”

Eva sat at the end of the small table where her father worked. His long slender fingers deftly handled dough that would finally be shaped into the best biscuits she had ever eaten. Her father was as good a cook as his sister, Shirley. He thought she was the best. Aunt Shirley's biscuits were so rich they were not even called biscuits. They were called
scones
.

Her father's face was drawn this morning and Eva knew he was sad and worried, too. She should have left him to find peace in the early morning sounds as he worked that dough to his satisfaction. But she needed to be near him and the doubts buzzing in her head wanted quieting in conversation.

Finally, she spoke, trying to control the urgency she felt. “Daddy, you think the judge will let us go tomorrow?”

Not looking up, her father answered, “The good Lord don't tell his business to nobody, and me and the judge ain't on no speaking terms, so I can truthfully say, I don't know.”

Eva laughed. “Oh, Daddy, I asked what do you think?”

He looked up at her and smiled. “Oh, I think he will; and if wishin' made it so, you'd be goin' this mornin'.”

The smile lifted his face and Eva felt a warm glow. She knew her father loved her and would do all in his power to make her happy.

“Now, Missy,” he said as he placed the pan of biscuits in the oven, “you fry some bacon and scramble some eggs and we'll be in good shape by the time these biscuits git brown.”

It was still early morning when Eva saw her mama and daddy off to the store. Sounds of children calling back and forth held Eva at the front door. She watched the children collect friends and saunter off to school dressed in their best, heralding the day. Tanya would be leaving from Aunt Shirley's.

Already it was hot, the sun brilliant in a high silvery sky. The children's calling and the sound of the old cotton gin were the only indications that fall was near and that today was the opening of school. For the first time in her life, Eva heard these sounds without sweet excitement and the rush of joy.

What if there is no school for me? The thought frightened her. School was everything. It was the end of long, hot uneventful days … the beginning of planned fun and challenging things. Most of all it meant books and reading again after an almost bookless summer. What would she do if there were no school library?

Her mind flashed to the big library downtown. She had heard there were thousands of books in that building. Rooms filled with them. She didn't know, for no Negroes were allowed in that library to read or borrow books.
Oh, the things she couldn't do
. But she must not think of that.

The sounds of the children faded and quiet settled on the street and in her house. She felt restless. If only she knew what that judge would decide. She could always go back to Carver. She moved through the quiet house, wishing she had gone to the store with her mom and dad.

She spent a long time under the shower wondering how she could pass the day. Maybe she should take the bus and go over to Bobbie's.
No
. Maybe she should take the bus to her Aunt Shirley's. But she wanted to be near when the Decision came. She decided the store was the best place.

As she searched for something cool to wear, she again pulled out her new dress. She would press it some more, and make sure every seam was open, every loose thread tied and clipped.

Just as she was done and putting away the ironing board, she heard a knock at the door and a call, “Eva, you home?”

It was Bobbie. “Hi, girl, what you doing over here?”

“I came to get you. Let's go to Carver and see what's happening.”

“You think we should go there today?”

“Why not?”

“Oh, girl, they might make us feel … you know … they might laugh at us.”

“Who cares? Come on.”

“I don't know if I want to.”

“I want to do something,” Bobbie said walking up and down the room. “Girl, I'm so nervous and jumpy. I gotta get away from that news.”

“We didn't listen this morning, and I'm glad.”

“I wish we hadn't. Those crazy people milling 'round Chatman thinking we there. Ain't that stupid?”

“Bobbie, you think they'll ever let us go?”

“I don't know, girl, after all of this, I'm getting scared.”

“You
can't
be scared. Girl, you're my support, my buddy.”

“I know,” Bobbie said.

“I'm just hoping that judge will hurry up and say yes. Then everything will be okay with the soldiers there to protect us.”

“Come on, let's go to Carver and forgit Chatman.”

On the way Eva sensed the tension in the neighborhood. On street corners and on porches small knots of people gathered, talking about the troops and about all the out-of-state cars roaming around town. There were rumors of Negroes being pulled from buses and rocks thrown into their cars.

“Why so many people not working today?” Eva asked as they went on their way.

“People can't get across town. I tell you, they acting crazy down there around Chatman.”

Suddenly Eva thought of the talk about bombings. “Maybe we never should have tried to go to Chatman in the first place. Getting outta place.”

“Girl, I'm beginning to think maybe.…”

“But Bobbie, somebody had to. I'm scared, but I'm glad, too. If only that old governor hadn't stepped in and said no.”

The old fear returned and the closer they came to Carver, the more Eva felt that she could not face the students and the teachers. She certainly did not want to see Cecil, not knowing when she would be going to school again. What could she say? She felt ashamed that she was not at Chatman.

Suddenly she stopped. “Bobbie, I can't, I can't go to Carver now.” She turned and started back.

“Eva, what's wrong with you?” Bobbie called after her.

Eva knew she could not explain what she was feeling and make Bobbie understand. She didn't know herself why she should feel ashamed to go to Carver. “You go on. I might come later, but I can't go there now.” She decided to go to the store. News of the judge's Decision would reach the store more quickly than at any other place she could go.

When she reached the store her mother was busy with customers and her father was out. Not wanting to talk, Eva went straight to the back. Absentmindedly she moved papers around on her father's desk, wishing news of the judge's Decision would hurry up and come. “Oh Lord, please don't let him say we can't go,” she prayed silently.

She went back up front. All the customers had been waited upon and her mother was now looking at a magazine.

“I'm glad you're here, Eva. I was worried, wondering how you'd spend the day.”

“I started to go to Carver.…” She wanted so much to tell her mother about the feeling of shame, but she could not find the words. “I thought I'd come help out here instead.”

“We can always use help here, but maybe it'd be best if y' went there … be with y' friends.”