The Girl with my Heart (Summer Unplugged #8) (14 page)
Read The Girl with my Heart (Summer Unplugged #8) Online
Authors: Amy Sparling
Park takes us back to his newly purchased home, a rundown Victorian right next to our land. I’ve noticed, although I think he’d rather that I didn’t, that he’s ignored three calls from his girlfriend. She’s probably pissed at him for hanging out with me. She should be—she’s Bay’s best friend and best friends stick together. Which is what Park is doing for me.
He leads me up the three steps to the porch that wraps around the entire house. I gaze up at the massive two story home which looks like it might have a third floor that doesn’t stretch across the whole house. I can see the potential here; add some paint and spruce up the flowers around the porch and this place could look good.
“It has good bones,” Park says, throwing a smile over his shoulder as he puts his key into the front door. “I’ll get her fixed up and it’ll look awesome.”
“This is a lot of house for one guy,” I say, admiring the foyer that leads us into a massive living room with faded baby blue paint. “You plan on renting out the rooms or something?” Tightness fills up my chest, threating to suffocate me. “Hell, maybe I’ll be renting a room here soon.”
Park shakes his head, leading me into a small office down the hall. It has two massive bay windows on two walls, a perfect view of the unkempt front yard. His laptop rests on top of a box that claims to have a computer desk inside of it, but he hasn’t bothered opening or assembling it yet. We sit on the floor next to his computer and he uploads the video. I look away, not caring to relive those minutes.
I stare at my phone, once a device used to talk to my girl whenever I wanted. Now it’s being ignored and blocked. She’s one phone call away and yet it’s like she’s in another galaxy. I know I don’t deserve her. I never did, really. I lucked out and met her on a random night in a random small town that neither one of us wanted to be in.
If life had gone according to plan, we would have never met each other. I’d have never been in Texas, cooling off from a fight over another girl who wasn’t worth it. She’d have never had her phone taken away, never been stuck at her grandparent’s house. If everything had been like the way we once wanted it to be, I wouldn’t have her.
And now I don’t have her.
Tears tug at my eyes again and I don’t even care that I’m tall and muscular and strong and most of all—a man. I don’t care that I’m not supposed to cry. My heart is shattered and held together by poisoned barbed wire. It hurts with every merciless beat that keeps me alive. I am nothing without her. I miss her and my son more than words can explain.
There’s a little click sound and a DVD slides out of Park’s laptop. He hands it to me and fishes around the clutter on the floor to hand me a Sharpie. “You want to write something on it?”
I stare at the items in his hands. “Like what? She’ll never watch this.”
He puts the disk and the marker in my hand. “So write something that will change her mind.”
I take them outside, to Park’s front porch. There’s an old wooden swing hanging from two rusty chains and I take a chance and sit in it. The wood groans but it doesn’t give out. I look at the disk, trying to think of something to write to her.
Birds sing and dance throughout the massive oak trees in Park’s front yard. I look up, trying to catch a glimpse of them but they’re too fast, darting quickly from one branch to another. An old truck drives by and I look at the road. I try to picture the future of this land next door—our land. I imagine a big sign perched out by the road announcing the entrance to whatever our business will be named. We still haven’t thought of a good name for it.
I think of the baby room and the mom’s lounge, all planned pieces of the massive puzzle that is starting a business. I can’t do it without her, I just can’t. I swallow and pull the cap off the Sharpie, turning the disk over to the top side.
I try to make my handwriting neat, but it comes out sloppy as always. Then I climb off the porch swing and have Park take me to my truck. He begs to ride with me but I assure him I am capable to drive myself. I may be a broken wreck, but I still have hope, however small, a little flame of hope that flickers in my chest and it’s enough to keep me going.
Bay’s car isn’t hard to find. When I drive past her mom’s house and then Becca’s house and can’t find her, I head to the only other place her best friend would be: C&C BMX Park. Becca still works there part time while she’s at college.
I find Bay’s car parked near the front of the shopping center’s parking lot and I pull up next to it, hoping just a small bit that she’ll be sitting in her car and I can hand this to her in person. She’s not. And it hurts but I’m a little relieved. If I see her, I might break completely.
With a shaking breath, I take the DVD, now housed in a paper sleeve and walk over to her empty car. I try the handle but it doesn’t open, not that it should, I’m always harping on her to keep her car locked so no one crawls in the backseat and kidnaps her. I glance around and find the place fairly empty. A mom pushes a baby stroller a few cars away but she’s not looking at me.
I lift her windshield wiper and slide the disk underneath it, right in the middle so she’ll see it when she gets in her car. Then I swallow my heart back down and slip into my truck, hoping she finds it sooner rather than later. And when she does, I hope my words will convince her to take another chance on me. Hope and love are all I have now. And the greatest of those is love.
If this changes your mind, meet me at the land.
Yours until I die,
Jace
I’ve lost all sense of time. Birds chirp all over the place, unaware and uncaring that someone is in their midst, preferring to be alone and quiet. I sit on an old beach towel I found in the back of my truck. It’s purple and pink with some stupid black design on it. Bay and I had bought it for five dollars at a grocery store one day when we went on a date and ended up playing in the beach. We hadn’t expected to get more than our feet wet, but a playful shove and one long make out in the water later, we needed towels. And we found these nearby.
I’ve walked several yards into the square field that is our land. I had spread out the towel and sat down, my back to the road. I sit with my knees pulled up, my elbows resting on them as I stare out at the line of woods that borders the back border of our land. If I look at the road I’ll be waiting for her, watching for her blue car, hoping against all hope that the sound of each passing car will be hers. The anticipation of that is enough to kill me.
So I face the woods. And I hope all the same.
I stop checking the time after three hours have passed. The sun slowly begins its descent in the horizon, so it’s probably around eight at night. She isn’t coming. The words flow through my mind, a mantra I can’t avoid and I can’t kick out of my thoughts.
She isn’t coming. She isn’t coming. She isn’t coming.
She hates you Jace.
You deserve to rot without her.
I don’t want this land. I don’t want a business or an office or a name for myself. I don’t want any of it without her. There is no point. I’ll go back to my parent’s house in California and rot away until no one remembers my name. There is simply no reason to live without her. And my son doesn’t need a dad he can’t be proud of. She’ll find someone else, someone who treats her better than I do.
Pain sears through my heart at the thought of another man loving my wife. The idea of her being happier without me is enough to rip out my soul from the inside out. Why did I let myself get so drunk? Why didn’t I just tell her to stay home with me?
My shoulders fall and my head dips between my knees, my forehead resting on my arms. I might never leave this field. The earth can swallow me whole. I’d be grateful for it.
The sounds of the outdoor creatures and the wind rustling through the tall grass nearly block it out. I hold my breath, refusing to let the air in my lungs take away from the sudden sound.
Of footsteps.
Slow, steady and approaching.
I lift my head but I don’t turn around. I am too scared.
The smell of her perfume crushes into me. The towel shifts and Bayleigh Adams sits on the other end of it, just a few inches away from me. I watch her from the corner of my eye, not knowing if I should speak first. Not knowing if this is a forgiveness or a condemnation. A hello or a goodbye forever.
She pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them. Suddenly the sky is darker, twilight turned to dusk within a few seconds. The summer air fades into a cool breeze. I dare a glance at her and find her auburn hair blowing softly in the breeze. God, she’s so beautiful. Her eyelids are a little swollen as she gazes into the woods.
“Park wrote me a letter,” she says, her voice a soft melody in the dead air. “He told me everything about that night and where he found you the next morning.”
There is no emotion in her voice, no hint at what’s to come. I am too frightening to say anything. I want to touch her, to kiss her lips and pull her close. I want all of the liberties I once had with her; trust, love, friendship.
She clears her throat and swallows, then takes a ragged breath. “And I watched the video.” She turns to me, her face a porcelain angel in the glow of the setting sun. I meet her gaze and the seconds feel like a thousand eternities.
Just when I feel that I can’t take it anymore, she reaches up a hand and touches my cheek, a soft caress that sends warmth flowing through my whole body. “It wasn’t your fault, Jace. I see that now.”
I still can’t say anything. There are no words that would convey what I feel.
Her eyes look into mine and I might die right here with her hand on my skin. “I hate that this happened, but I can’t be mad at you.”
“Does this…” I stop. I can’t find the words.
Does this mean you forgive me? Does this mean we’re okay? Do you still love me?
And then I realize I don’t need any words. She leans forward, throwing her arms around me. Her lips brush mine, soft and timid at first. But then she deepens the kiss and I’m digging my hands into her waist as if she could disappear at any moment. I fall backward, half on the towel and half on the grass, her arms tangle into my hair and I hold her close to me, refusing to give even an inch of space between her body and mine.
She kisses me with more passion than every kiss we’ve ever shared combined. I kiss her back, my lips on her lips, my tongue grazing across her tongue. She tastes like heaven. She tastes like happiness and bliss and forever.
And then her shirt is off and mine gets tugged over my head and her flesh is on my chest, her soft perfect skin melting into mine. She is mine and I am hers and I will never in my life disappoint her again. I feel my heart mending itself with each new kiss, all of the pieces sliding back where they belong.
“I love you,” I whisper into her lips.
“I know,” she whispers back.
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Amy Sparling is the author of The Summer Unplugged Series, The Devin and Tobey Series, Deadbeat & other awesome books for younger teens. She also writes books for older teens and adults under the name Cheyanne Young.
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