The Grown-Up's Guide to Running Away from Home, Second Edition: Making a New Life Abroad (15 page)

Correspondence schools make it possible to teach your children yourself. People who never leave town do it, so you can too, but this is a serious commitment that requires preparation and qualifications on your part. You must have the proper materials and be disciplined enough to see the education through.

The following are a few of the correspondence schools offering home schooling courses for children of various ages:

For other correspondence schools or information on accredited distance learning, see the Distance Education and Training Council at
www.detc.org
.

One of the most difficult decisions for Americans abroad concerns leaving their elderly parents. Whether you leave now or wait is a highly personal decision and depends on the health of your parents and the support systems they have available. When we first began contemplating a move abroad, our parents were in such bad health that we didn’t feel right leaving them for a long period of time, so we settled for vacations and used the time to plan. Some people choose to take parents along; if they’re healthy and willing, this may be an enjoyable option for you both. One couple built a small house for her widowed mother on their property, and she now basks in the pleasures of French country markets and meeting expatriate friends from Britain, New Zealand, and Germany.

In some countries with inexpensive service economies, such as Mexico, Costa Rica, or Portugal, caring for elderly parents can be more affordable and offer the option to keep parents at home longer than in the States. However, the change in environment is often not accepted by the elderly, who can become uncomfortable or frightened by the major changes involved in language, medical care, and culture, not to mention the travel itself. One couple brought a parent and discovered they were limited to taking an hour or two away from the house unless they found a sitter. The elderly woman didn’t speak the local language, and they were afraid to leave her longer.

Another woman, a ninety-year-old, talked about going with her daughter and her husband to live in France, but after the couple bought their French home, Mom decided against the move. The husband stayed in the house there while the wife had to remain longer in the States to reconcile the two responsibilities.

If you’re fortunate, your parents will be like those of some friends in Portugal. Both sets of parents are still relatively young and healthy and are vying with each other for the guest room.

Finding a temporary home for Fido or Fluffy in the United States makes a lot of sense, especially if you’ll be traveling often while overseas. Think about grown kids or friends as potential providers of a loving home.

If you’ll be staying in one location, you may decide to take your pet with you. We did, but that was especially easy as the country we chose, France, is well known for its love of dogs. Our dog, Folly, discovered the joys of sitting in cafés with us—along with the delights of occasional treats from various admirers at nearby tables. As for us, after ten years together, having our best friend with us in France went far toward making us feel at home.

If your dog or cat is under seventeen pounds, you may be able to bring it aboard the airline in a pet carrier as carry-on luggage. We discovered that this was easier than we imagined. In our nightmares we saw him barking nonstop for eight hours, with the stewardess and passengers tossing us all out over the Atlantic, but he never let out a peep. Outside of two young girls who discovered him while we waited to board, we doubt anyone knew there was even a dog on board. He settled down and slept through most of the trip.

A carry-on pet carrier must be of a size to fit under the seat, just as carry-on luggage would, and it should be approved by the airline. One approved carrier that’s particularly well-designed—by a stewardess, for her dog—is the Sherpa Bag. The bag is made of heavy-duty nylon with mesh panels for ventilation; it has an adjustable shoulder strap that doubles as a leash and a zip pocket for the important papers that accompany your pet. We keep doggy treats and hand wipes in there too. The bag’s soft sides make it easy to fit into places a hard-sided carrier won’t. The Sherpa Bag is recommended by the Humane Society and many veterinarians and approved by several airlines. You can find the bags in good pet shops or order them from Sherpa’s Pet Trading Company, (800) 743-7723 or (212) 838-9837. Their website is
www.sherpapet.com
. You can view this and other products and also find handy links on traveling with pets.

Prepare your pet to be in a carry-on carrier (or cargo version for a larger animal) for the long hours of a flight overseas. Start early to help your pet adjust; don’t just expect to thrust him into the carrier and tote him along.

We bought the carrier three months before our planned departure. Folly didn’t want anything to do with that strange object on the floor, but we placed doggy treats just inside the door. He stretched his neck out like Ichabod Crane to get the treats without getting inside the carrier. Gradually, the treats went farther inside, and so did Folly. At no time did we force him into the carrier. Eventually, we were able to pick him up and place him gently inside, without closing the carrier door. We repeated this until we could close the door. We’d leave him in there to get used to it. After he adjusted to the carrier on terra firma, we picked it up and practiced walking around with him. The final test was a visit to the mall, where there would be crowds
comparable to airports. We wanted to ensure that he wouldn’t bark or be anxious, and all seemed well.

The real test came the day of the trip. Forgive the play on words, but Folly passed with flying colors.

If your pet is larger than seventeen pounds, he’ll have to travel in a hard-sided carrier in the pressurized cargo hold. A cargo kennel must be large enough for the animal to stand, turn, and lie down.

Check with a veterinarian to ensure that your dog or cat is healthy enough for air travel. Some species have problems flying due to their respiratory systems, so you will want to ensure this is not a problem for your pet. Also, the USDA requires that your animal be at least eight weeks old and fully weaned in order to be transported on the airline.

Claire and Dick took their two much-loved but large dogs to Portugal via kennels in cargo. The dogs went on the same flight, using the expedited service that many airlines have developed for pets. All went well, and Carmen and Cosmo arrived in fine health, though a bit jet-lagged.

It’s vital that you check with the consulate or embassy of your destination country for their most up-to-date regulations for acceptance of a pet into the country. At the very least, you’ll need to show that all essential immunizations are up to date. Usually dogs and cats must have been vaccinated against rabies at least thirty days prior to entry; otherwise the pet will have to be kept confined on arrival for at least thirty days after the vaccination date. The date of vaccination should be no more than twelve months prior to arrival—even if your dog has had the three-year rabies shot. Carry a valid rabies vaccination certificate and keep it with your pet. Keep an extra copy in your baggage as well.

Most countries require an international health certificate from your veterinarian. The certificate must be executed within a set number of days immediately prior to travel. In some cases, it must be issued no more than ten days, sometimes within three days, before departure. For our destination, we had to take Folly to the veterinarian for the health certificate within three days prior to the flight. Check with the consulate and airline for exact regulations based on your destination.

We had no problem with the flight in that regard. Our airline, Delta, checked all the pet papers thoroughly before boarding. On arrival at Paris we sailed through customs.

However, some destinations forbid pets to enter at all or subject them to a quarantine that could last up to six months. These destinations are normally islands—such as England, Ireland, and Hawaii—that have strict regulations to avoid the introduction of rabies. In recent years, changes that permit
pets meeting specific regulations to enter the country without quarantine have been implemented in some countries. For example, England requires that a pet have an implanted microchip (for identification), rabies vaccination, a blood test, and treatment against ticks and tapeworms—and each step must be done within a specific time frame prior to travel. In addition, only certain travel routes and entry points are acceptable. Contact the country you will enter and follow its guidelines to the letter. If you’re traveling with your pet, unless you meet these guidelines don’t even take a flight that has one of these locations as an intermediate stop.

The traditional image of a child running away from home shows the little one with a bundle on a stick. The modern child might carry a backpack to run away. But as a grown-up, you need a Mack truck. After decades of accumulating possessions, our most difficult decisions when running away as an adult involve what to take, what to leave, and what to do with what’s left.

Your home is probably your most important investment, so it’s central to the decisions you’ll make. Within those walls are family memories and mounds of belongings—more possessions than you ever thought possible when you were a child. The big questions are: What should you do with your home? Will you sell? Rent? Find a sitter? Close it up and let it sit idle?

Many factors enter into your decision. Primary among them are the length of time you intend to be gone and what you intend to do when you return. If you plan to be gone for a relatively short period of time, even up to a year, and you’ll return to the same hometown, you’ll probably want to keep your home. It’s a major investment; to simply sell it and buy a new home later could be costly.

If you’re an empty nester thinking of moving to a smaller home anyway, you might prefer to sell your home before you leave, to avoid the hassles of managing it while you’re gone.

The following are some options to consider, along with some of the various pros and cons involved.

The easiest way to leave your home is to have a trusted person live there while you’re gone. This provides activity and lights to discourage prowlers and ensures that there will be regular maintenance for plants, pets, and the lawn and that any problems will be handled before they become major. You can leave furniture in place, avoiding expensive storage. Having a sitter watch your home also provides the comforting reassurance that you’ll have a familiar place to lay your head any time you return to the States.