The Guest List (12 page)

‘Thanks, but really that’s not necessary,’ she told her. ‘We probably aren’t going to go in for anything so elaborate. Don’t get me wrong,’ she added quickly, as her friend’s face dropped, ‘your wedding was amazing – it really was, but Shane and I are thinking small.’ She hoped they’d all get the message and leave it at that.

Lilly looked up from her BlackBerry. ‘Regardless, you’ll still need a wedding planner, someone to keep you on track with all the admin. Plus, they know how to get the right appointments; you can’t get into certain bridal stores under your own steam, particularly in London.’

‘It’s okay Lil, really it is. Like I said, I’m not sure if your planner is really our style, and I certainly won’t be going for Vera Wang or anything.’ Cara was trying her utmost to keep her cool, but every conversation about this wedding was one that seemed to be debatable. She was trying to say ‘no thanks’ politely, because really, she would rather cut her own arm off than even consider contracting a wedding planner who would be better suited as a drill sergeant.

‘But Cara,’ Samantha argued. ‘Lilly’s wedding planner was just amazing, the best! You’d be lucky to get her, I tried to book her for ours, but she was fully committed at the time. I was so upset.’

Cara pursed her lips. ‘She might be the best, but really, I am just not interested in having her for my wedding.’

‘I don’t see why you don’t want to use her,’ Lilly replied tartly. ‘She’s the best in the country by a mile, and in constant demand. You can’t argue with that type of success.’

Cara felt her blood pressure rising. Again, it was all about everyone else’s opinions! She almost wanted to scream that this wedding was not about ‘the best’ or ‘the most in demand’ – it was about her and Shane!

‘Like I said, I just don’t think that sort of thing is for us.’ She hoped her tone would indicate this subject was closed for further discussion.

‘Well then what sort of thing exactly
are
you planning on doing?’ Maria asked. ‘You don’t seem to have any plans at all yet.’

‘Yes, have you chosen your bridesmaids? Oh your sisters I suppose . . .’

Cara tried to tune out the constant questioning and looked around the pub, plotting her means for escape. She felt like she was suffocating, and if she didn’t get out of here soon, she was bound to go crazy. She turned her attention back to the table and her friends, but felt herself straining to make eye contact.

‘Look guys, can we talk about something else? I’m actually already kind of tired of discussing weddings. Nobody can talk about anything else since we got engaged. It’s really stressing me out.’

There was a brief silence, and all three of her friends looked at one another. Good, Cara thought, relieved, she must have finally gotten through to them.

‘Is everything OK?’ Lilly asked then, and at her friend’s suddenly sympathetic tone, Cara exhaled. ‘Yes. I mean . . . no, it’s not, I’m really just not sure . . . it’s all so confusing . . .’ To her horror, all of a sudden she felt herself starting to choke up.

She really didn’t want to start crying in public, but Lilly’s kindness seemed to have set her off. ‘I don’t know; it’s just been so overwhelming. I mean, my mum has her heart set on a big white church wedding and then Shane’s parents went nuts on us the other night, and called us selfish because we didn’t want them to pay for the whole thing and then—’

Samantha interrupted her. ‘I’m sure it must be a lot of pressure. Is everything OK with you and Shane?’

She looked up, confused by the sudden change in direction. ‘What? Yes, of course, everything is fine with Shane. I don’t see what—’

‘Cos you know, you don’t have to go through with this, not if you don’t want to,’ her friend continued, as if she had zeroed in on the reason behind Cara’s delay in getting started on the planning. As if Cara had some psychological wall constructed against the wedding plans because in reality she just didn’t want to marry Shane.

She shook her head, mystified. ‘Of course not. Everything is fine there – it is our families, they are bonkers and—’

‘Cara, really there is nothing to be ashamed about,’ Lilly chimed in. ‘I was the same; during the planning I had a notion to scrap the whole lot, including Peter, that’s how stressed I got by it all. Everything gets so big, and so out of control that you just want to call the whole thing off.’

‘Yes Cara, if you really feel that way, you don’t have to get married, much better to call it off now than suffer through a divorce later,’ Maria agreed sagely.

‘No, really, that’s not it at all!’ Cara tried to keep her voice even but she felt like screaming. What the hell was wrong with them? ‘Everything is fine between Shane and me. We’ve only been engaged a couple of days, but frankly everyone in our lives is stressing me the hell out because of situations like this! Honestly, I walked in here tonight hoping for a bit of a laugh with the three of you, and instead I’m faced with the Spanish Inquisition over wedding planners and dates and – lots of other bloody nonsense when at this stage, I’m thinking that the best course of action would be to run away and get it over and done with!’

Samantha, Maria and Lilly stared at Cara in shocked silence.

‘Would you do that – honestly?’ Lilly asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She was looking at Cara as though she had just suggested murdering someone.

‘I don’t know, maybe. I mean, all I want to do at the moment is enjoy being engaged, rather than have to plan a huge event with military precision. Samantha, I am not the super-planner that you are, and Lilly, I am not interested in a wedding so big that I barely know any of my guests. I don’t want Powerscourt or a Vera Wang dress.’ Realising she might have insulted her friend, she added, ‘Think about it – with my hips?’ and Lilly smiled.

Samantha reached across the table and took Cara’s hand. ‘We’re sorry, we didn’t mean to get so crazy. It’s just, you know, that’s what you do when a friend gets engaged. You helped us so much for our weddings that of course we want to help you with yours.’

‘Sam, that’s really kind of you, honestly and I appreciate it, but really I’m just not sure if what you guys did for your weddings is right for me and Shane.’

‘Well, it’s completely your decision,’ Samantha conceded.

‘I know, but I am afraid there are a few people who don’t subscribe to that belief at the moment.’

The three women regarded her silently for a moment, and she guessed that they’d realised they were not only guilty of inflicting their respective opinions, but were no doubt recalling their own experiences back when planning their own weddings.

‘You know my wedding planner?’ Lilly said suddenly.

Cara looked up, worried her friend was about to embark on another string of well-meaning ‘advice.’

‘Well, she was a complete bitch.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Honestly, I was scared shitless of her. I put on a pound – a single
pound
the week of the wedding and she made me do a round on the treadmill on the morning of the ceremony. Wouldn’t let me eat anything other than a banana for breakfast and there I was gagging for a fry-up. ’Oul wagon.’

The four women burst out laughing and for the first time that evening, Cara felt that her friends were finally getting it.

Well, if nothing else, it was a start.

Heidi was beside herself with excitement. She was on her way to Holles Street Maternity Hospital for her very first prenatal appointment.

Now eight weeks pregnant, she hadn’t initially been sure what hospital to choose in which to have her baby, or whether she should attend as a public or private patient. Her GP had outlined the options, and while she was naturally inclined to choose a private hospital over a public one, something Kim had said recently had made up her mind for her.

That day at her parents’ house when Heidi had announced the pregnancy (and discovered that she wasn’t the only one with such news), her sister-in-law had let slip that she was attending a private hospital, because she ‘could be in and out of prenatal consultations within minutes, and back at her desk in quick time’, whereas it seemed the public waiting time was considerably longer.

‘Going public was fine for the first time with Olivia when Blissology was just in the early stages and wasn’t so busy, but I just couldn’t afford to be waiting around with Lindsay,’ she’d said.

Heidi had been horrified. To think that Kim thought so little of her baby that she wouldn’t give the necessary time away from her precious business for a prenatal appointment? How incredibly selfish.

That had made Heidi’s mind up there and then. While she was of course aware of all the horror stories about long waits and overcrowded hospitals throughout the Irish health service, she’d actually been quite taken aback at the efficiency of the hospital when she’d phoned a week or so ago to make an appointment.

At eight-thirty a.m., the slot they’d given her was a little earlier than she’d have liked, especially as Heidi enjoyed her lie-ins and needed even more rest now that she was two months gone, but at the same time she was prepared to make whatever sacrifices were required for her baby.

Paul had an early meeting this same morning and so wouldn’t be able to accompany her to the appointment. He couldn’t cancel, he’d told her, especially when she’d only told him about the visit a few days before. To be honest, it had slipped Heidi’s mind, as she’d been spending much of her time going around the shops looking for baby clothes.

At first, she’d been outraged about Paul missing such an important milestone, but at the same time, she conceded, maybe it was for the best, at least for the first visit. Paul would no doubt spend the entire appointment asking questions like was it OK for Heidi to drive and do housework and such nonsense, when of course it wasn’t OK.

He’d dropped her off at the hospital on his way to the office earlier that morning and had promised to meet her for lunch and see how it had all gone.

Heidi figured she’d spend a good hour chatting to the doctor about the various aspects of her pregnancy, and outlining the details of her birth plan, before heading on to Grafton Street for a spot of shopping afterwards.

It would be good if she could get some good clear ultrasound scan shots of her baby, but the receptionist had advised over the phone that a scan wasn’t always standard on a first appointment. Heidi smiled. She was sure she could sweet-talk the doctor into giving her an ultrasound. It would be simply amazing to be able to show the first pictures of her baby to everyone. Maybe when they saw in black and white how tiny and fragile it was, they might start giving her pregnancy the respect it deserved.

Hefting her handbag high on her shoulder, Heidi pushed open the main door of the hospital and, following the signs, made her way to the prenatal reception area. She was hoping they had some up-to-date magazines in the waiting room; she hadn’t yet had a chance to pick up the latest copy of
Vogue
and was looking forward to flicking through the fashion pages while she waited.

Approaching the reception desk, she announced her arrival to the pleasant-looking lady there.

‘The waiting area is just through there,’ the woman said, having taken her details, and Heidi marvelled again at the politeness and efficiency of the public health system.

Really, why would anyone consider spending a fortune on private consultant obstetrician care, when the very same services were available here for free? Especially when that very same fortune would be better spent on day spas or chic maternity clothes?

Smiling, Heidi reached into her handbag and pulled out a sheet of paper. She handed it to the receptionist.

‘What’s this?’ the woman asked, giving her a puzzled look.

‘My birth plan,’ Heidi replied easily. ‘I presume you’ll be needing a copy for when the time comes.’

The woman didn’t say anything for a moment; she just read through the list, and Heidi guessed she was impressed at the level of detail and planning that had gone into each request. Indeed she’d put a lot of thought into the birth plan; the background music (Debussy), the specific aroma and brand of scented candle (NEOM Lemon and Watergrass), how many people should attend the delivery, what Paul’s role should be and so on.

‘Well, this is . . . interesting,’ the woman replied eventually. ‘First baby?’ she asked, and Heidi nodded proudly.

‘Just so you know, it’s probably not a good idea to rely too much on these,’ the other woman continued, in a kindly tone. ‘Things can change very quickly in the labour ward, and our midwives are very experienced.’

‘Oh I’m sure they are. But like the books say, in order for the needs of the mother to be best served, it’s important that everyone knows what’s required of them.’

‘Of course,’ the receptionist said, and was it Heidi’s imagination or was she looking at her strangely? ‘As I said, just head on down the hallway.’

Smiling, Heidi followed her directions and pushed open the door of the waiting room.

Only to be met with the sight from hell.

She didn’t think she had ever seen so many people crammed into such a tiny space, ever! And never mind magazines – much to her horror Heidi quickly realised that there were no
seats
available. And all these children screaming and running around . . . The noise and chatter was deafening.

But why on earth were all these pregnant women here already, clearly way in advance of their appointments?

Heidi took deep breaths, trying to control her breathing. Thank goodness she had an early consultation and wouldn’t have to wait around too long in the midst of all this . . . chaos.

Wiping her brow, Heidi hesitated a little before approaching a heavily pregnant woman standing close by.
Standing!

She looked daggers at a man sitting nearby. Who did he think he was, taking up a seat when there were so many people – like Heidi – desperately in need of one?

‘Excuse me,’ she said to the heavily pregnant woman. ‘I was wondering, what time does the clinic start? Can you believe this crowd? What time is your appointment? I have an eight-thirty so at least I won’t be waiting long but—’