The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (13 page)
Now, I can find passages in the Old Testament where Moses descended from the mountaintop after having had some pretty meaningful dialogue with God the Father. During this dialogue the Father gives Moses some fairly stringent guidelines on what we are to do and what we are not to do. I believe they refer to them as the Ten Commandments. Let me read just a couple of them to you. The first one I’d like to read to you refers to the lesson we’ve talked about today and that is,
Love thy neighbor.
I’m not going to read the second part of that because some of us don’t love ourselves so I’ll be satisfied with love thy neighbor even if you don’t love yourselves. The second commandment, which I think is equally as important however, and is in direct correlation with today’s service is,
Thou shall not kill.
Now, the way I interpret the commandments is a little different than the way Moses may have.
In fact, I do believe that Moses may have had some trouble with the translation since from all accounts he was pretty shook up when he saw that bush burning and heard that voice calling out to him especially when he knew that no one had accompanied him up that hill. That’s why I tend to think he may have had some problems with his interpretation.
You see it seems to me that a couple of the commandments are just a little redundant and I have never known the good Lord to be either long winded or redundant so it is my belief that Moses may have misinterpreted the message just a bit. You see if we love our neighbor as we love ourselves then there is no need for the commandment which says,
Thou shall not kill.
If you follow my reasoning let me hear you say
Amen”
A loud raucous chorus descended upon the pulpit amidst laughter as the congregation shouted,
“Amen”
in unison. But he wasn’t finished. “And therefore, if we as a nation who pride ourselves on our Christian heritage believe in these basic tenets better known as the Ten Commandments then we must find a way to love our neighbors in spite of the atrocities and we must a better answer than war to solve our differences. That is what I have learned from the teachings of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If you tend to agree can I get an ‘Amen’?
Again there was a resounding chorus of ‘Amens’from the congregation.
“In summation, and before we answer the broader questions I want each and every one of you, as you go through your week to ask yourselves while at work, or at school, or at home with your families to ask yourselves how you are treating the people next to you, closest to you, your neighbor. Ask yourself this and as the trials you incur in every day life descend upon you I want each of you to reflect on the life of our Savior and ask yourself what would Jesus do. Don’t just slap the armband on your wrist or put the letters WWJD on the license plate of your car.
Live it!
Let it be the recurring thought as you go about your daily ventures. Make it a mantra. Repeat it throughout your day as you proceed from your homes to school or to the workplace. Ask yourself: What would Jesus do?” And with that the minister closed the book in front of him and nodded to the choir who broke into a lively rendition of
Joyful, Joyful
followed by
We Are the World.
Sylvia smiled. She was moved by the whole experience, not deeply but moved nonetheless and walked away feeling a sense of renewal.
There was life after Peter she surmised. Here was Laurie extending a hand of friendship and a church and minister who breathed new signs of hope where all had been lost only a day or so earlier and Sylvia found herself feeling rejuvenated as she followed her cousin downstairs into the basement of the church. Here they found groups of people congregating in small clusters singing praises to the Lord while others gathered to discuss the sermon. Still, others busied themselves with the many pastries that crowded the banquet table against the far wall No sooner than Laurie hit the room she found herself surrounded by a host of adoring young men.
Turning to look for her cousin Laurie found Sill occupied by a rather congenial looking fellow. So this was Sill’s type. He was tall and muscularly built and had a certain charm and swagger about him but Lord knows the brotha couldn’t dress. Laurie had never seen him before but was glad that Sill had found someone to talk to and was not alone. There was nothing worse than being in a room full of people and not knowing anyone. What she didn’t know was that Sill had fallen for the tall gentleman the first moment she laid eyes on him. And he her.
Three months later they were married. And though her parents accepted their daughter’s choice they agreed that she didn’t have that same sparkle in her eye that she’d had while dating Peter and both questioned her love for William. Mrs. Shipp believed that she was only marrying him to get about Peter. And Mr. Shipp had little or no opinion on the subject when he found out that William didn’t fish.
In the beginning the union between the two was everything Sylvia could have asked for. It seemed obvious that they truly enjoyed each other’s company and William Stanton—that was his name—had never been more ecstatic than he was with the vibrant and vivacious woman he’d chosen for his wife.
Not only was she beautiful and bubbly, she was bright and unbelievably sexy. And that made not only her made her more attractive to him but being that he was making significant strides climbing the corporate it made her a boon to him as well. The last thing he wanted to do was marry a nobody, who was content to remain a nobody with little or no aspirations of growing, and seeking new heights for herself. He hardly had to worry about that with Sylvia who after completing her Bachelors and teaching for a couple of years was insistent on acquiring her Masters in Education despite William wanting to spend some quality time with his newlywed before either of them embarked on any new endeavors.
When he finally convinced her to take off a year or two and concentrate on the house and their marriage she did so reluctantly and simply changed her focus from her own career goals to her husband’s. Much to his surprise she was as adamant about his career goals as she’d been about her own. She insisted that he begin thinking about acquiring his own clientele instead of continually feeding the company’s stockpile and receiving what amounted to a mere pittance in her eyes.
Loyal to a fault and lacking the insight, the intuition and self-confidence to move beyond corporate confines, of being little more than a company man, William Stanton was grateful for the opportunity at this stage in his career to just be working for such a distinguished firm as Hill and Morris. He could hardly understand his wife’s not being thankful when he did his best to provide the best of everything for her. But the expensive and jewelry he purchased from Jacobs for her whenever he could usually went unnoticed.
For whatever reason, Sylvia hardly ever seemed to be impressed no matter what the price of an item and seemed to be just as content to don a pair of old faded Levi’s and a sweatshirt as to throw on a Versace suit and a pair of Gucci loafers. The diamond studded necklace in the platinum setting he had custom made for her had all but wiped out his savings account and although she’d oohed and ahhed initially she’d only warn it one time and that was at his request.
He was soon coming to realize that what made most women happy had no effect on Sill at all. She was just as happy curled up in front of the fireplace at home reading a Zora Neal Hurston novel or a play by Wole Soyinka as she was stepping out to the opera or dinner at one of the plethora of hot new supper clubs springing up all over Atlanta’s perimeter.
William, on the other hand felt more comfortable being out with Sill, sipping and mingling with a crowd than being cooped up in the house discussing some book or God forbid politics. All too often she tended to be all too knowing, too sensitive, too righteous but most of all, too damn liberal.
She was always preachin’ and proselytizing and acting as if he was one of her students instead of her husband when the fact of the matter was she didn’t make enough to make change let alone make a change.
Out in public amongst friends everybody loved him. And he could hold his own, diplomatically speaking. Always on cue, with a short funny well placed anecdote he had a great sense of humor and was never off color. And he’d learned to be cordial. Mingling and grinning even when he saw little humor in a remark his associates considered outrageously funny. William knew that that was essential to every marketing rep as well as a mainstay in the codebook for Black Republicans. Sometimes, even this became burdensome but it was still a far cry from sitting home with Sill on a Friday night discussing Baldwin’s,
The Fire Next Time.
At other times he had to sit and smile as he watched her devour book after book while he fought to remember the last book he’d read. Then other times lost in her own little world he wondered if she wasn’t just a bit too bright and remembered the words of his daddy who proclaimed that too much book lear-nin’ wasn’t good fer nobody’ and especially a niggra.
Yet, to be in her mere presence and to know that she was his and his alone, brilliant, untouched, and virginal was enough for William. To have her walk in and out of their library in her sheer silky lingerie feeding him late night snacks or to have her sit with her pretty legs propped up, her thick brown thighs cascading from beneath a violet or taupe tunic, firm pendulous breasts dangling from her camisole was enough to make William give praise to the gods. And though for some reason she had not been exactly receptive when it came to the act of lovemaking itself, William was sure that after some thirty odd years of virginity, the deflowering of this tree would certainly take more than the seasonal wind of a new marriage and so he accustomed himself with the occasional petting unless she had far too much to drink and then any slow refrain was gone and she was like an imprisoned tiger suddenly released from captivity, so ferocious was she in her response.
At first he had seriously thought she was frigid. But following one of ol’ man Morris dinner party he knew that even though she seemed to have some sexual issues, once he got past the wild laughter and the crying spells which all too often went hand-in-hand he had a wildcat on his hands. He had to admit that it scared him at first. The faraway look in her eyes was disturbing but anger she exhibited and the way she tore at his flesh made him wonder. Still, being little more than a novice himself when it came to sex he took it all in stride and only dreamed of the next time. He lusted after her nightly thereafter but to no avail.
In reality that was the only area in their marriage he really found lacking. It wasn’t that she wasn’t great in bed. When the mood struck her she could be a handful screaming and cursing and thrashing around until her energy expended she would orgasm in great leaping surges. Only problem William had was that it was so infrequent. Still, aside from her cold spells in the bedroom William was euphoric.
In the few years that had now passed since they’d been married he could honestly say that he was truly happy with every aspect of their marriage. Well, almost
every
aspect of their relationship. He had to admit that both he and Sill were adamant in their political views only she more grounded in hers. He was a part of that new wave of Black Republicans and not altogether confident in his political views. He at least knew it posed a change in what had always been and what he perceived as Blacks pandering to one party with little or no clout in the other.
Yet, aside from that, William loved him some Sill and as on every other night couldn’t wait to get home to her.
She’d returned to teaching although third grade hardly provided the challenge she needed and so she’d transferred to the local high school and was positively ecstatic teaching ninth grade English. And aside from school she still stayed incredibly busy with the after-school program, the church advisory board, local charities and things of that nature. Yet, despite work and all of her extracurricular activities she always made sure that William was well taken care of.
She quickly became familiar with his favorite dishes and introduced him to the finer foods in an attempt to expand his tastes. She made sure that when they went out with his associates on business or just out together for a social gathering that she was the finest thing in the place and represented him well
At home, she made it her business to keep their marriage as new as their social life even though he really did nothing for her behind closed doors. But her mother had schooled her well. Telling her when she was younger never to believe the old adage that they way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. ‘That’s a crock. Soon as a niggra’s full he just’ out dere looking fer somethin’ else to whet his appetite. The key to a man, sweetheart, is to never let him get full but ta keep him wantin’ fer mo’ and the way you do that is to jes tease him. Let him lick the spatula and then tuck it way for another day.’
And no advice did Sylvia follow as well as she did this. Taking her mother’s advice, Sylvia Stanton prided herself on being a bona fide tease in the bedroom and a queen in the living room. And in no time she had William panting over the plethora of nighties and costumes she would greet him with each evening. But seldom if ever did she do much more than whet poor William’s appetite or let him lick the spatula. Never one to complain William followed the scenario with little or no complaints and continued to make inroads at work staying long after his co-workers were long gone. Always a firm believer that hard work and dedication was the key to success he found himself spending more and more time in the office and less time with Sill.
Not sure if this was what was bothering Sill or not William had noticed a definite change in her mood since he’d mentioned them starting a family. Each time the subject arose she would go into an uncontrollable rage and stop talking to him for days on end. It made no sense to William. Everyone that knew
Sill talked about the great rapport she had with her students. And it was the same at church where Sill had not one but three Sunday school classes and the kids simply adored her so he couldn’t understand her not wanting children. Yet, if the discussion of children was responsible for the sudden divide between them then they didn’t have to talk about his wanting kids or anything else that bothered her. It had already been three days since she’d uttered a word to him and three days was far longer than he could bear. Tonight when he went home he’d put an end to all the hostility and apologize before taking her out to her favorite Italian restaurant.