The Heiress (29 page)

“Are you teasing me?”

He gave her a little smile. “Of course not,” he said as he leaned toward a table and picked up a bowl and spoon. “The landlady made you some soup, and I want you to eat it.” Carefully, he brought a spoonful to her lips.

Whereupon Axia burst into laughter. “Oh, Jamie, I'm not an invalid.” She was not going to allow him to see her embarrassment, for truthfully, no one had ever found it necessary to wait on Axia. She prided herself on never having been sick a day in her life, and it was she who nursed others, not the other way around.

“All right,” Jamie said, setting the bowl down. “You are healthy and well, so I will go to my own breakfast. I bid you good morning.”

She could tell by his voice that she had hurt his feelings, but she'd not meant to. Throwing back the covers, she leaped from the bed, then put her hand to her forehead and began to sway on her feet. “Oh, I think …”

When Jamie did not run to her rescue, she opened her eyes and saw he was smirking at her.

“Go on,” he said. “You may finish your faint. The bed is behind you.”

She laughed. “Oh, Jamie, I am starved. I do not want thin
soup. I want beef and a couple of chickens and a great huge pudding. And—” She broke off as the images of that afternoon suddenly came back to her, and she sat down hard on the bed. “You killed them,” she whispered.

Sitting beside her, Jamie put his arm companionably about her shoulders. “It was the only way. I had to do it. I never like killing anyone.”

Turning her head, she looked at him. “I did not think you were capable of such a thing You are so very nice.”

“I am what?”

“You are very kind to everyone, such as Tode and Frances and your men. Everyone likes you.”

Jamie was smiling at her as he stood up. “But you knew I was a soldier, did you not?”

“Yes, but I thought you sat on a horse in pretty clothes and—” Jamie was laughing too loudly for her to continue.

“Get dressed and I'll go see what the kitchen has to offer in the way of breaking our fast,” he said, still laughing as he turned to leave.

Rising, Axia caught his arm. “I have never had anyone take care of me before,” she said softly. “But you do. You see that I have hot water for a bath; you make sure I have paper for my drawings; you take care of Tode; you save me from bandits.” In a very natural gesture, she stood on tiptoe and put her arms around him. “Oh, Jamie, I—”

“Axia, please do not say it,” he said, and there was pain in his voice. “Please, I could not bear it. You do not know what is in my heart, the fight I have between duty and—and love. I must remember my obligations to others. Please,” he said again,
then firmly took her by the shoulders and held her away from him. “Get dressed and come downstairs. I will be waiting for you there.”

With that he was gone. For a moment Axia felt bereft, but then she smiled as she leaned back against the door. It seemed that in the last weeks her mind had come to be filled with nothing but thoughts of Jamie.

Her dreaminess lasted only moments before she looked about the room and saw that Jamie had put clothes for her across the back of a chair. A dress of deep red wool with black embroidery all along the hem and up the front.

Dressing as quickly as she could, she flew down the steps and out the back toward the privy and nearly ran into Jamie where he was ransacking the great packs on his saddle.

“Couldn't bear to be parted from me, eh?” he teased.

“Actually, you are on the path to the …”

Chuckling, he stepped aside. “There is partridge for supper.”

“Save me a dozen,” she called and closed the door. Moments later, when she emerged, she saw Jamie still taking things out, putting things back, so she went to stand by him.

When something dropped to the ground, without thinking, she stooped to pick it up. “My cap!” she exclaimed. “My mother's cap! Wherever did you find it? I lost it in—” Suddenly, she remembered where she had left it: in Jamie's tent the night they made love. Cutting herself off, she looked at him, hoping that he would not remember where the cap had come from.

But it was obvious from his face that he did remember, and she did not like what she saw, for Jamie's face was a mixture of rage and—and, well, maybe murder. “Do not look at me so,”
she whispered as she held the cap behind her and began to back up.

“So, Axia,” he said, and she did not like the tone of his voice. It was as though he were trying to control himself from doing something awful to her. “What were you playing at? Did you want to taste what it was like to go to bed with a man just as you taste one cake after another?”

“I did not mean it to happen,” she said. “Truly I did not. I saw where you came over the wall, and I thought I'd—”

“You did not think. You tricked me and lied to me, just as you lied about your dragon cloth.”

“I did not lie to you. I told you I was a virgin.” He was still advancing on her, and she was still backing up.

“You said your name was Diana and that you had smallpox scars.”

“I was afraid you would beat me if you found me in your tent; it was the only thing I knew to do.” She tried to put as much reason as she could in her voice.

“You do not believe that lie. I gave you time and opportunity to tell me who you were.”

Axia was now up against the stable and could go no further. “I did not mean to trick you. I—I …”

“Yes? I am waiting for your answer.”

Axia put her chin up. “Seize the day,” she said defiantly. “I was there, you were there, and there was opportunity for a new experience, so I took the chance. Perhaps I will die tomorrow or my father will lock me away and I'll never have such an opportunity again, so I took it.”

“Your father is dead, remember? Dissolved in lime, according
to you, but then you lie so often I cannot tell what is the truth.”

Abruptly, he turned away and put his hand over his eyes, as though he were thinking about what to do.

Axia had seen how he worried about people under his charge, and she knew that his honor was everything to him. “I am sorry, really I am,” she said softly, then put her hand on his arm. “We shall forget about it. I already have. If it hadn't been for the cap, you would never have known. You can go ahead and marry your heiress and—”

When Jamie looked up, his eyes were different. Without a word to her, he started toward the stables, Axia close on his heels. “Jamie?” she said, for she could tell by his expression that they were nowhere near the end of the matter. “Jamie, please say something. Tell me you don't hate me. Or maybe you do, but I swear to you that it was all just a mistake.”

“Saddle that horse,” he said to a boy walking about the yard, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “And be quick about it.”

Axia saw that the horse he was having saddled was hers. “You are sending me away? Alone?” she gasped. “Oh, Jamie …” She sat down heavily on a wooden box covered with dirty bridles.

For a moment, Jamie glared at her. “What have I ever done to make you think that I am the kind of man to leave you alone and unprotected?” He didn't wait for her answer but went to his own horse, threw a saddle over it, and led the animal from the stall.

“Are you ready?” he asked, holding his cupped hands for her to mount her horse.

“I—I guess so,” she said with resignation. She wanted to know where they were going, but she was much too frightened to ask. Better just to follow and leave her destiny unknown for as long as possible.

Thirty minutes later, Jamie reined into the pretty front garden of a lovely white cottage and told her to wait for him. Minutes later he returned and said, “Follow me.”

She could only nod as she saw a clergyman leave the house and start up a hill toward a big stone church that stood at the top.
Oh,
she thought,
he's going to make me pray for forgiveness for all my many sins
. Her next thought was,
If I do that, we'll be here all night, and I'll never get anything to eat.

At the church door, Jamie paused and looked at her, then removed a twig from her collar, smoothed her hair into place, straightened her little hood. “Are you ready?”

“Ready for
what?”
she burst out, very close to tears.

“Why to marry me, of course. What else can we do?” With that he turned on his heel and started into the church.

But Axia did not follow him. Instead, she collapsed onto one of the benches that ran on either side of the little porch over the church door. Moments later, Jamie came to sit beside her and took her cold hand in his.

“Horrified at the idea of marrying me, are you? I can understand that.”

“Jamie, do not joke,” she said in barely more than a whisper. “You must know that I cannot marry you.”

“Axia, the only thing that would prevent our marriage is if you truly did hate me, and I don't think you do. Do you?”

She looked up at him, thinking of all the time she had spent with him, how he had changed her life. Maybe she'd fallen in love with him that first day. Maybe she had lied about being the Maidenhall heiress because she wanted him but desperately needed to know that he wanted
her
and not her father's money. And just maybe love for him had been the motive behind everything she'd said and done since she met him.

“No, I do not hate you,” she said, looking into his eyes, and he smiled at her in such a way that she thought she might possibly melt into the bench and puddle on the stone floor.

“Nor do I hate you, so let us go. The vicar wants his breakfast and so do we. Let us not hesitate,” he urged as he stood up.

Still holding her hand, he pulled, but Axia did not move, so Jamie sat back down. “Do you not
want
to marry me? You have said yes to half the men of England, but perhaps I am the only one you do not want to marry.”

“It is not that, it is—Oh, Jamie, it is money.”

“I see,” he said stiffly. “I am not rich enough for you. Ah, then of course we will not marry. How presumptuous of me to assume.”

When he started to get up, she flung herself on him, her arms about his shoulders, her cheek against his chest. “It is not that you don't have any money, it is that
I
do not. When my—my guardian knows that I have married without his permission, he will disinherit me. I will be penniless.”

“You do not know that for sure,” he said, putting his arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly. “If you were his
daughter, I could understand your fears, but you are just his ward. I do not think his judgment will be so harsh as all that.”

She pulled away to look at him. “If I were his daughter, would you still want to marry me?” she whispered.

“I would want his permission, but yes, with or without his permission, I would be forced to marry you—under the circumstances.”

“You mean … ?”

“Yes, dear almost-wife, that night in the tent.”

That did not make her feel better, for Jamie was admitting that he was marrying her because she had tricked him into making love to her. And he'd marry any woman who tricked him, and love or feeling made no difference. Obviously, his honor meant more to him than money.

“What else?” Jamie asked. “Tell me what else is on your mind.”

“You do not know Perkin Maidenhall as I do. Money gives power, and if he wants it, he has all the power on earth. He will have the marriage annulled, then he will bankrupt you for having dared touch what is his.”

“For all that Maidenhall is rich, there are laws in the land. Axia, you have been locked away most of your life, and your major contact has been with him and people who work for him. He is a rich man but not as powerful as you think. He cannot annul the marriage without a reason. And perhaps by the time he learns of us, you will be pregnant and that will hinder him.”

“A baby?”

At her look of disbelief, he laughed. “It has been known to happen. Now, what else?”

“He will hurt you and your family when he takes away all that you own.”

“There's not enough to hurt. If he takes away everything, it will be nothing.”

“Oh, Jamie,” she said, putting her head in her hands. “How will you live?”

“We,”
he said, emphasizing the word, “will live with my relatives. The Montgomerys are a nice lot, sometimes rather noisy, but they have much money and more houses and castles than they know what to do with, so I'll ask them to give me one or two.”

“For me. You are forced to do this for me. Because I sneaked into your tent one night, you must give up your own lands and estates and go begging on your knees to your relatives for charity.”

Jamie smiled at her. “It is not as bad as that,” he said, although it was exactly the way he saw it too. “It is not as though my relatives earned the land they have. They conquered no countries and so were not given estates as rewards, but they married rich women. It is a talent my family has for marrying into money.”

“Except you,” she said. “You planned to marry some pockmarked girl you tumbled with in a tent.”

“Yes,” he said, looking at her face, touching her cheek. “I have been haunted by that girl since that night. Do you know that I carried that cap over my heart for days? I had it the morning you attacked me, remember?”

“Which time?” she asked seriously.

He chuckled. “The morning after I spent the night with Diana.
When I awoke and she wasn't there, I was furious. I turned the place upside down. I thought she was but a girl destined to be a prostitute, but there was something unique about her. I found the cap, wrote a message to my family, and left money for her. And later, I had the cap next to my heart, looking at maps, and for some reason you attacked me.”

“You said I couldn't go with you.”

“Ah, yes, that was it. I remember now.” He caressed her cheek and down her neck. “How different my life would have been if I had left you behind.”