The Hour of Dreams (2 page)

Pulling in, I glanced back and saw the Tahoe take up the usual space directly across from the front door. I smiled to myself because, even though they were an intrusion on my freedom, they always reminded me that Wes was close even when he wasn’t. As I stepped out of the car, the second thing that caught my eye was a “now hiring” sign in Healey's front window. Immediately, it brought me back to the last time we needed a new employee: Ms. Mary’s murder last winter. I stole another comforting glance back at the Tahoe.

Then I thought about how her replacement, Chase, had also died by the hands of the same murderer. I had volunteered to take on his hours afterward, so there hadn’t been a need to rehire. Last I checked, and hoped, nobody else had died. Wrapping my sweater around my cami, I took a deep breath and went inside.

Mr. Healey was behind the front counter as usual.

“Hi, Mr. Healey. What’s up?”

“Nothing much, lady,” he answered, and gave me a brief welcoming smile before looking back down at his handheld pricing gun.

Unable to wait to put my belongings in the back room before asking, I stopped at the counter. “What’s with the sign?”

“Oh.” He glanced up only for a moment and shrugged. “I’m just looking for someone else to help cover some hours over the holidays.”

He took a second glance up at me before putting his head back down. Something about the look in his eyes told me he was avoiding something, and his explanation didn’t make sense.

“But no one buys used books over the holidays,” I replied.

He looked up again and studied me for a moment. “Why don’t they?”

“Because they’re used.”

“Well I think people will start buying them, and even if they don’t, we’ll be busy with people bringing their old ones in.”

That may have been true, but it wasn’t reason enough to hire a whole new person. Something was going on, but instead of pressing it, I tried to lighten the mood. “You’re not going to fire me, are you?”

“Not at all. Dawn just mentioned you were starting school in January, and I should probably be proactive.”

She what?
Since when did Dawn concern herself with my hours?

“You are going to school, aren’t you?”

I blinked a few times and cleared my now dry throat. “Um. Yes, I think.”

“You think?” he countered quickly, setting the pricing gun on the counter so he could cross his arms authoritatively. I felt the need to stand taller myself, a defense mechanism I’d learned from years of parental interrogation.

“Yes, I think. But most likely will,” I added.

He shifted his weight. “Good, because you need school. Let’s be real; who knows how long Healey’s will be here.” He looked around the store and sighed quietly. “With all this new technology, it’s just a matter of time before this kind of store is obsolete. My father passed this business down to me, but I’m not sure what will be left to pass on." With that statement, he turned his attention back to me. “So you kids need to get your education.” He nodded firmly and went back to his work.

I stood for a moment, trying to process the unexpected personal lecture. He was either tired of me working there or was treating me like family. I liked the latter idea, but wasn’t sure how to respond, so I silently walked to the back room.

I put my purse in my cubby and went back out, avoiding the front counter. Instead, I paced the aisles, straightening up books and picking up bits of trash. Mr. Healey’s words were in my head the whole time, and the more I thought about it, the more pressure I felt.

My life was comfortable, or at least as comfortable as it was going to get. Why should I go out and start something else I’d just worry about finishing? And how dare Dawn take it upon herself to practically shove me out the door. I was pretty worked up by the time she arrived.

She walked in and, as usual, headed straight to the back. I took the liberty of cutting her off halfway down the center aisle.

“Hey,” I said nonchalantly as we nearly collided.

“Hey,” she answered dryly, stepping around me so quickly that our shoulders bumped.

Turning, I caught a glimpse of her shoving open the door to the back room.

Okay.
I thought I was the one who was supposed to be annoyed. Two options passed quickly through my mind: keep on working, or try to figure out what her problem was. Before I could decide, she walked back out and headed down another aisle.

I slid over and cut her off again, this time shifting my feet in sync with hers until she knew she was cornered.

“Having a bad day?” I asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

This was so unlike her, especially the way she was avoiding eye contact. She was known to be short and bossy with other people, but not with me.

“Dawn, what’s going on? Since when do you avoid me? What did
I
do?”

She finally looked at me. “Hmm…let’s see. How about just being perfect. Super freaking perfect.”

“Say what?” Dawn had no idea about my tragic past or my uncertain future, but she had never hinted at feeling this way.

“Perfect Sophie. That’s what I said.” Now she was directing her negative attitude straight at me.

“Well,” I said, taking a small step backward. “You’re wrong. You have no idea.”

“Oh, what, Sophie? Let me guess, you can’t decide which semester to start school. Hmm, spring or summer or maybe never? It doesn’t matter, because you can just have Wes take care of you.”

Wow.
I sucked in a deep breath at the low blow. I was not a confrontational person, but I was not one to back down either. Three lives’ worth of turmoil almost popped out right there in that aisle, but I let out a deep breath instead. She was my friend, and something was off.

“Dawn, you forget I know you. Your little alter-ego is not going to get to me, so you might as well tell me what your problem is. Or I’m going to—”

“You’re going to what? Read a book? Make dinner? Go on a vacation? What exactly is it that you have to deal with? Huh?” My mouth fell open, and she threw her hands up. “You know what? Forget it. I’m out of here.”

She went to the back and grabbed her things and made a beeline for the front door. Mr. Healey called after her, but she ignored him as she bolted. What the heck? Without thinking, I ran after her.

“I’ll be right back, Mr. Healey.”

I saw her getting into her car and went over to her. “Dawn. Stop. What in the world is going on?”

“Sophie, just leave me alone. You’re not helping.”

“Dawn. Please. What is it? Did you and Jackson have a fight?”

“Yes! Okay. Are you happy now?” She started the car and tried to close the door, but I was blocking it.

“No, I’m not happy,” I said, standing firm.

She and Jackson had been dating for about a year now, and they had their moments, but she hadn’t ever reacted this badly before.

“What happened?”

“I want to leave, please,” she said, looking at me. Fire still burned in her cheeks, but her eyes were glassing over now. She was clearly hurting and I didn’t want her to go.

“Can you just tell me what happened?”

She gave me one more glare and then slammed the back of her head into the headrest. With her eyes closed, she sat there for what seemed like minutes before speaking.

“Fine. I broke up with him. He’s the biggest ass on the planet, and I cannot stand him right now. I really don’t want to have this conversation with you.”

“Why? I’m your friend,” I said, bending down. “You can talk to me about anything. I can help you. What happened? Did he do something? Say something? What?” With her eyes still closed, Dawn's cheek muscles started to twitch. “You can tell me,” I whispered.

In that moment, the first tear fell, allowing her face to relax. I watched one tear fall after another, though she didn't make a single sound. “Dawn, I hate to see you so upset. I’d like to help you.”

Finally wiping away the wet trails, she opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling of her car. “He told me he's going to college. That his lacrosse scholarship is too important to give up. And that I would be holding him back.”

“When did this happen?”

“Right after I told him I'm pregnant.”

The world around us fell silent as her words swirled around my head and traveled through my body and down to my knees. I found myself looking around and focusing on items around me. Crumbs and trash stuck between her seat, sunglasses on her floorboard. Not wanting to say the wrong thing, I replayed her words in my mind.

Dawn and Jackson were such opposites, but he practically followed her around like a puppy. It didn’t make sense.

“Wait. He said he didn’t want to be with you because of that?”

She whipped her head around to face me now. “No, he said he still wanted to be with me.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Right after he suggested I get rid of it.”

My eyes traveled inadvertently to her midsection. “He told you that?”

“Yes, Sophie. He told me that.”

“Well, maybe he didn’t mean it.”

“He meant it.”

My hand covered hers. I finally understood her emotional attack. “Dawn, that’s hard news for someone to hear. Maybe he’ll change his mind after he’s had time to think about it.”

“He’s had time, Sophie. I told him last Friday and he sat on it all week. And that’s what he told me last night. You should’ve seen him. What a coward. I was so stupid.”

“No, you weren’t. You loved him.”

“Yeah, well a lot of good that does me now.” The anger was returning in her voice.

I’d known my life was not perfect, but in that moment I realized that nobody’s was. Whatever the issue, worry was everywhere, in different forms, in different places. But one thing was the same—how it makes people feel.

“I’m sorry, Dawn. I really am.”

“Yeah, me too. Listen, I gotta go. I don’t want to be around my dad today.”

“Does he know?”

“Are you kidding me? Please. He would flip. I just want to get out of here. For good.”

“Just wait. Please. Things will be fine. Give it time.”

“Time? Are you serious? I don’t have time. I’m seven weeks along. If I’m going to do it, I need to do it now.”

“Wait. Do what?”

“Look, don’t make me say it.”

“Dawn, you’re not getting rid of it…are you?”

“What, Sophie, do you think I’m going to raise it here? With my dad? While Jackson’s off at college, moving on? No thanks.”

My head was spinning again. I didn’t have a clue how to be a good friend in a situation like this, but everything she was saying felt all wrong.

“Dawn, you just broke up with Jackson for asking you to do that. Why? If you wanted to anyway?”

“I don’t
want
to, Sophie!” she growled. “But I can’t do this by myself.”

“Well, what about adoption?”

“And see the look in my parents’ eyes when they find out? It’ll just be reckless old me again. No thanks.”

The conversation was all happening so fast, and in a very uncomfortable location. Sure, I didn’t have a solution or experience with such a situation, but my senses were clinging to her and I didn’t want her to leave and go through it by herself.

“I’ll help you do whatever you need. Just take it easy for now. You have time to decide. And you’re right. He was wrong. You deserve more support than that. We’ll fix it. Okay? Just go home and relax.”

“I can’t relax.”

“Just let me think of something. I’ll meet you later, okay?”

It took her a few moments to answer, but she finally gave me a maybe and drove off looking more pitiful than I’d ever seen someone look.

B
ack inside, I told Mr. Healey that Dawn wasn’t feeling well, and I avoided him the rest of the day. Simple tasks became tedious, as thoughts of Dawn stayed on my mind. She was pregnant. I’d grown to love Dawn and her family and had considered us close. How had I not known? Although we had never talked about how serious she and Jackson were, looking back, I guessed it was obvious. But the fact that she'd been pregnant for the last seven weeks hadn’t been obvious. Or had it, and I'd just missed it?

Thinking back, we’d worked together three days a week, and I hadn't picked up on anything unusual. Guilt started to permeate my stomach; I'd been such a poor friend. I looked at my watch, counting the minutes until the end of my shift.

Wes and I were supposed to go out to dinner, but, not wanting to leave Dawn to handle this alone, I called him and canceled. He said he would stay late at the lab and get some work done. My worrisome self would have liked to give more thought to what he was doing there, but I was too relieved about having the chance to find Dawn without feeling bad about standing him up.

This time, when my shift ended, the Tahoes were an unwanted addition. Danger was the last thing on my mind at that point. I just wanted to help a friend, and their presence felt invasive. I turned up the radio as if it could make them go away, and used the temporary relief to think about what to say when I got to Dawn’s.

By the time I arrived, a light drizzle had started, so I turned on my windshield wipers and crept down her narrow street, looking for her car. Danny’s pickup truck was there, but her Honda was nowhere to be found, and she wasn’t answering her phone. Any other time, I would’ve considered it no big deal, but not tonight.

The rain started to pound on my windshield, and the rain and I had never been best friends. The warm, dry confines of my home were calling to me, but finding Dawn felt like a necessity. The longer it took, the more guilt emerged, causing me to doubt our friendship even more. We’d been friends for more than a year now, and the only places I knew her to hang out were her house, Jackson’s, or with me and Wes when we were doubling. Other than that, I had no clue where she could be.

The rain was not helping matters, and now I had to turn the radio off just to think. I was coming up blank, so I started thinking about what I would do if I were in her shoes.

Of course I would be devastated if that happened to me and Wes reacted like Jackson had. There was no way I’d be convinced that he’d put his lacrosse career ahead of our baby’s life.