The Hour of Dreams (3 page)

It was those doubts that made me think that Dawn wouldn’t believe it either. She was really upset and crushed by his reaction, but I thought she would give him another chance to change his mind. I turned my car around and headed toward his house, which was only about ten minutes past hers.

By the time I reached his long, winding street, the rain had lightened some, but not much. I could at least see out of my side windows, but it wasn’t easy. Dawn’s car was dark blue, which blended in with the night just perfectly, so I crept along the street at a snail’s pace, glancing out each side, trying to locate her car. Certainly, the security detail following behind were unhappy, but they would just have to deal as I kept looking.

Sure enough, on my left, her car was parallel parked directly across the street from Jackson’s house. Just as I passed his driveway, I noticed two figures in the dark, without umbrellas, and knew immediately it was them. A sense of relief came over me, knowing they were communicating and that she was safe. I kept driving, and it wasn’t until I turned around in the distant cul-de-sac and made my second passing that I noticed her push him in his chest. He shuffled backwards and then reached for her elbow. She snatched it away and pushed him again.

As she spun around and darted across the street, Jackson began walking back up his long driveway, shoulders slumped. By the time I pulled up beside Dawn’s car, she had plopped into her seat and was hunched over the wheel. I left my Jeep right in the street and jogged around to her door.

She jumped at my knock and then rolled down her window a few inches. “Jesus, Sophie! What are you doing here?”

“Hey. Sorry, I went by your house to talk to you and you weren’t there. I thought I’d check here before going home. Are you okay?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew it was a dumb question. “I mean, you wanna talk?”

“Not really.”

Her eyes were red and puffy. I felt helpless, but I didn’t want to let her go so easily.

“Look, I’m getting wet out here. And you're wet already. Let’s go to my house and get in some warm clothes. Spend the night. Get away from your house and we’ll talk. It might help to get away.”

She looked at me. By then, my hair was soaking wet, framing my face in a sticky mess. Standing there, in a downpour, I shrugged my shoulders.

“You’re nuts, you know?” she said.

“Well?”

“Fine. I’ll come…I definitely don’t want to go home, that’s for sure.”

I jogged back around to my car, feeling a little victorious, and gave a little wave to the Tahoes.

She followed me to my house, and Wes was still not home, which was fine. It allowed us some privacy to get Dawn to the spare room, which I’m sure she appreciated. I gave her clean towels and a fresh pair of sweats, and convinced her to take a warm shower, knowing the last thing she needed was to get sick.

While she was settling in, I thought about a warm shower myself. With the rain, the temperature had dropped and I had started to shiver. Sweats sounded good to me too, so I scooped some up and made my way to my own shower.

The hot water relaxed every muscle in my body, helping me to think more clearly. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting the water soak through my hair and run down my back.

Feeling calm, I ran my palms over my face to clear the water trails, but a slippery sensation caused me to open my eyes. I pulled my hand away from my face and saw that, sure enough, it was another nosebleed.
Dang.
Just this once, it would have been nice not to have to think about myself. Irritated, I rinsed my hand and pressed a washcloth to my nose.

Standing there with a bloody cloth pressed against my nose, it was impossible not to think of my own problems. Why now? Why tonight? How was I supposed to help someone else fix their life when I couldn’t fix my own? Thoughts like that made me realize something unimaginably important.

That was exactly it. My future might be nonexistent. For whatever reason, it might not be in nature’s plan, and that’s something I’d have to face and deal with every single day. But Dawn shouldn’t have to worry about her baby’s life. Not when it could be saved. Closing my eyes, I resolved myself to do whatever possible to help the life inside of her. Even if I had no control over mine.

“Hey, you.”

I snapped my eyes open to see Wes’ silhouette through the glass shower doors.

“Hey. You scared me,” I said, turning toward the water to rinse out the bloody washcloth.

“Sorry,” he said, cracking the shower door open. He leaned in for a quick kiss, which caused his shirt to get splashed, before closing the door. “Why are you showering so early?”

“I got wet in the rain while talking with Dawn. I figured I’d get it over with before putting on dry clothes.”

“Oh…can I come in?”

“Sure,” I answered, feeling a little panicked.

In one motion, he pulled his shirt over his head, kicked off his shoes and bottoms, and slid in with me. “Is that who’s in the other shower?”

“Yes.” I laughed, nervously realizing that he might find that odd. “She got soaked too.”

He smiled, dipping his broad shoulders in the second showerhead before titling his head back under the water.

“So is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“You seem a little on edge.”

I held the washcloth behind my back, doing some final squeezes. “What’s that smell?” he asked, looking around.

“What smell?”

“Blood,” he answered, still looking. This time his gaze traveled to the ceiling and then to the floor. “Wait a minute, what’s in your hand?”

“Nothing. Just my washcloth.”

He leaned in closer, inspecting me. “Is that blood on your face?”

Putting his hands on my cheeks, he tilted my head back. “Sophie, your nose is bleeding.”

I shrugged it off as no big deal, and he might have believed me if I hadn’t been hiding the evidence of it behind my back.

“How bad was it? Let me see.” He pulled the washcloth from my hands. Unfortunately for me, it had been bright white, and now the whole thing was splotched with pink stains.

“Whoa,” he said. He wrung it out and dabbed my nose again, pulling it back to reveal a few more fresh drops.

“It’s fine,” I said, taking the cloth.

“It’s not fine.”

“Yes, it is. I was running around in the cold rain with Dawn, and I think I just jostled my sinuses. It’s fine. I used to get them all the time,” I lied, feeling instantly horrible about it.

“Sophie, I’ve never seen you get one of these before. I’m going to call Dr. Carter.”

“No! Please just forget it. It’s fine, really. I don’t get them very often—”

He shifted his weight. “What’s very often?”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s very often?” he repeated, leaning closer.

“I don’t know. Only a few times.”

“A few? When? How long ago?”

“Um…I don’t know. Maybe once a month?”

He opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it, staring into my eyes silently. He studied me for a moment longer, his jaws tensed. “I’m calling Dr. Carter,” he said flatly, stepping out of the shower.

Dang it
, I thought. This was not going to go well. I finished rinsing my hair, shut the water off, and slipped out behind him. I had just started to dry off when he left the bathroom, wearing only a towel and a frown.

This
really
wasn’t going to go well.

I quickly slid into sweats to follow him, but hesitated. I knew Wes well enough to know there was no talking to him during a worry-fest. He needed to settle down, so I brushed out my hair and took my time.

When I came out, he was sitting on the bed, still in his towel, talking on the phone.

“I don’t know. She’s not being specific.” He cast me an evil glare before turning his attention back to the phone. “It doesn’t really matter at this point. I just want you to take a look at her. Okay. That should work. Thanks. See you then.” He hung up and went over to his closet without stealing a second glance at me.

I was contemplating a good defense for my secretiveness, but then, watching him dress in complete silence, I became angry.

“That’s not fair.” I stated—or, more so, pouted.

“Really?” he said, putting on his last sock without glancing up.

“Really,” I repeated, approaching him firmly. He smelled amazing, and his Henley was fitted in a way that made my knees wobble. I didn’t want to fight with him. He was the one person who could hold me and make me feel safe. But there we were, arguing, so I caved. “Okay. I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight. Please.”

He balanced his weight and crossed his arms. “How could you keep something like that from me? With everything we’re trying to do here. It’s like you’re working against me.”

“I’m not working against you.”

“Yes, you are. If you know you’re having side effects and you keep that from me, then you are working against me. How can I help you like that?”

The distance between us felt cold, and, although I hadn’t told him for this very reason, he was right. I stepped close to him in submission, leaving only an inch between us. He stood still for a moment, but then accepted my invitation and pulled me in for a much-needed hug.

“You’ve already helped me,” I whispered, and with that he squeezed me harder. “I’m sorry,” I said.

“Just please don’t keep anything else from me.”

“Okay,” I murmured.

We hugged for a few moments before he made me agree to see Dr. Carter the next day, and then I told him for the first time why Dawn was upset. The expression on his face was similar to when he first noticed my nosebleed.

“Are you serious?”

“I’m serious.”

By then we’d let go of each other and used the wall next to us for support. I leaned in close. “Wes, I think I want to tell her about us?”

His head snapped back. “You what?”

“You heard me.”

He crossed his arms again. “I’m sorry, I thought you just said you were personally sabotaging your own recovery by hiding a side effect from me, and that now you want to tell our secret to one of the biggest gossipers on this side of the Mississippi?”

“Wes.” I dropped my shoulders. “I’m not trying to sabotage anything. That’s not fair. And I just want to help. Jackson turned his back on her. He said that he wants her to get rid of it because he won’t be able to go to college and play lacrosse. Seriously.”

A glimmer of sympathy touched Wes’ eyes. “He said that?”

“Yes.”

“Well maybe he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Give him time to think about it.”

“She did. She’s seven weeks along and he’s known for a while. They had another falling out about it tonight, and she’s planning to get rid of it, because she’s alone and scared.”

He shook his head slowly. “And how is telling her our secret going to help?”

“Because, Wes, I want her to know what it really feels like to worry about not having a future. I don’t want that baby to miss out on a life because her mother doesn’t really understand what a gift it is.”

My eyes started to glass over, and he pulled me in for another hug. “Here we go again. You’re always trying to help everyone else. Even I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. And you wouldn’t know the truth if you hadn’t been ready to jump off a bridge for a stranger. I still don’t think it’s a good idea, but if you feel she’s really going to do it, and you want to help her, then I’ll understand.”

He looked completely doubtful, but I appreciated his support more than he would ever know. I just hoped it was the right decision if it came down to it.

A
fter our discussion, Wes ordered Chinese food, and I went to the guest room to see how Dawn was doing. She was on the bed, lying on her back, completely still. I would’ve thought she were sleeping had I not walked over to find her eyes open.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she responded, still looking at the ceiling.

I sat down next to her and curled my feet under me.

“So, what did Jackson say this time? It looked like he was being a jerk.”

She let out a huff. “Yeah. I’d say so.”

“Same old, same old?”

“Yup.”

We were quiet for a moment. “I would’ve gone over there too, you know. You did the right thing.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a little late for the right thing.”

“No, it’s not. Not really.”

She finally turned her head in my direction. “What do you mean?”

“Well, Jackson is wrong, and you shouldn’t let his reaction determine what you’re going to do.”

She shook her head. “Sophie. It’s really not about him. I don’t want a baby either. My mom and dad will flip if they find out. And I never pictured myself playing house. But somewhere inside, I just wanted Jackson to care. To show support, you know? Not act like a selfish jerk.”

“But you said yourself, you can’t imagine—”

“What I meant was that I can’t take care of a baby. My family already has enough issues. It would only make things worse for everyone, including the baby. Can you imagine me carrying it around the bookstore? Really, Sophie? And where would we live?”

There was so much I wanted to say to reassure her, but I was the last person to know about assurances. Besides, we would have gone back and forth about them. Dawn was more stubborn than me, so I needed to pull out some real artillery.

“Dawn. Remember when I got stabbed with that needle last year?”

“Yeah?” Her eyes narrowed in confusion.

“Well, I never told you that the needle was carrying HIV.”

She lifted her head a few inches off the pillow. “What?”

“I became infected.”

“Sophie. You never said anything,” she whispered.

“I know. It was because Wes’ lab conducted an experimental cure on me. It was confidential, and it worked, but—”

“It worked?” She pressed, now sitting up completely.

“It worked, but now I’m having side effects from the medicine.”

Our eyes locked, and hers were full of shock and concern. Suddenly, Dawn’s focus was directed at something else besides her dilemma, and that’s when I realized that she might not need to know the whole secret to understand.