Authors: J. D. Chase
“I don’t know. Something told me that you wanted to do things your way so I didn’t like to spoil your plans. This is your game after all.”
I started as his hand shot out and gripped my jaw. His eyes were flashing dangerously dark. “I’ve told you already - this is not a game, Issy.” He immediately loosened his hold and began to caress my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “I do like to be in control … always - and I am in every aspect of my life, except when it comes to you. You have me at the very edge of my limits. It took all my strength to walk away and take a shower and not just take you fast and hard. The shower didn’t work and I have been fighting for control since. Every time your body reacts to me, it pushes me closer to the edge.”
“Funny that, every time you make my body react, I am pushed that bit closer to the edge until I lose control completely. So you have me at an advantage.” I noticed his eyes lightening up and softening his whole expression. “However, I have a question. Why did you fight it? Did I give you any indication that I wouldn’t like to be taken fast and hard?”
“No, not at all but it was important to me to do this right,” he looked so earnest. He took both my hands in his, clasping them firmly.
I squeezed his hands. “You did pretty well last time when you lost control. My body reacted to you pretty well if I recall.
God, it was incredible!
“But that was just about raw, animal sex. You know that I want more than that. I want your body to respond me to as it’s never responded to anyone before. I want a deeper connection between us; I want your mind to respond to me too. I can‘t afford to mess up, Issy. I want this so badly and that means I’ve got to do it right, well try my hardest to, since this is all unfamiliar territory to me.”
He looks so vulnerable. Oh god, I am going to feel like hell when I let him down at the end of this month. Why the hell did I agree to it? I can’t spend the next month with him treading on eggshells, worrying that he might blow his chances … especially when he has no chance anyway!
I sat up as realization dawned. “Is that what all this is about? Controlling yourself. The shower. The music. The candles. Is this the Hunter Seduction Special?” I cried.
“No … yes … I don’t know. I have never seduced a woman before. But isn’t this what people do? People who want or have a loving relationship?”
I shook my head in exasperation. “I have no idea, Lucas. I’ve never been seduced. Sex has been purely physical for me - you know that. A selfish act to satisfy my own needs. Nothing more, nothing less. You must have more experience than me at what is normal.”
“Nope. It has been so long since I have had sex with anyone and before then it was ...” His voice tailed off uncomfortably.
I was intrigued. “It was what exactly?”
Oh my god, I bet he paid for it.
“By mutual agreement? You got what you paid for?”
I saw the muscles tense in his jaw and his eyes pinned me with such ferocity that I wished I’d kept my mouth shut.
“I have never paid for sex, Issy. It wasn’t like that,” he growled.
“Well, what was it like. I get the distinct impression that there is something that you don’t want to tell me. If it isn’t about prostitutes, then what is it?”
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past.” His voice was firm. Discussion over.
“No, Lucas. It does matter. You want a relationship with me? With anyone? That’s not going to happen unless you are open about your past.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “I used to frequent a membership club and that’s where I had sex.”
“Membership club? Like singles clubs? Are we talking hedonism?” I was really curious now.
“Something like that,” he said, evasively.
“Oh come on, Lucas. I want to know exactly what type of club it was. Why are you so reluctant to tell me? For goodness sake, I have been upfront with you about my sexual history - although you could have deemed me a promiscuous slut. Surely, you can see that I am open minded about all things sexual.”
He laughed and opened his eyes. They bore into mine, gloss black and a steel glint that immobilized me completely.
“
I wonder how open minded you really are. Have you been to a BDSM club, Issy? Have you seen naked bodies writhing in agony and ecstasy? Seen people who can only get aroused when they inflict pain on others or have pain inflicted on them, so much so that they cannot physically or mentally tolerate any more?”
I was as shocked by the strength of emotion in his voice as his words. I gasped as the realization hit home.
“Perhaps you’re not as open minded as you think,” he said curtly.
“I haven’t experienced it, no. But, if I am honest, the possibility that you were into BDSM hadn’t crossed my mind. The sex that we’ve had was just …”
“Vanilla?” he suggested.
“Huh?”
“Ordinary run of the mill sex. No kink.”
“Lucas, I would hardly call what you do to me ordinary. You are an extremely skilled, considerate and generous lover. I was going to say that the sex we‘ve had was mind blowing - well it was for me, anyway.” In light of his revelation, I began to wonder whether it was the same for him.
“I didn’t say vanilla couldn’t be good and with you, Issy, any sexual act would be mind-blowing. This isn’t about us and what we’ve shared - you wanted to know the gory details of my past. I’m just being honest at your insistence. Can we just leave it now, please?”
“Just one last question? The acts that you described - how many of those did you participate in and why did you stop?”
“That’s two questions, Issy. I’ve not set foot in that club for years. A lot of what happened in there wasn’t for me but I only found that out by experimenting, I suppose.”
“What led you to visit a club like that?”
“I had a lot of issues when I was younger. The relationships I had there taught me a lot about myself. I doubt that I’d have a successful business empire if I hadn’t gone down that road. It was good for me.”
“So why did you stop?”
It fulfilled a need in me but I learned to control it. I also learned that my preferences were milder than most so I stopped when I couldn’t find a partner whose preferences matched my own. Taking yourself and someone else to the edge of their limits is a risky business. I sought control but I found that I couldn’t exercise the type of control that I wanted to.”
“I don’t understand. Why couldn’t you find someone who shared your preferences if they were mild?”
He smiled sardonically. “My tastes were too mild. Most members had sexual preferences that involved some form of pain. I had many, many girls that were willing to submit to me but they all required me to inflict pain - the severity varied but the need to inflict pain was not for me. I tried a whole range of techniques and implements but I wasn’t happy about inflicting pain on someone – although they were willing participants.”
As I absorbed this information, I felt relief that he wasn’t about to announce that he was a sadist … or a masochist. But I also realized what he was. “Lucas, are you telling me that you are a Dom?”
“I thought I was. I am a dominant male in all aspects of life. I don’t think that I am a Dominant in the true sense of the word. I just like to be in control.”
I laughed. “I know that. What does a Dom want?” I was enthralled … and shocked to realize that this topic of conversation was distinctly arousing.
“Oh, you know. There is no ‘one size fits all’ description but the overarching factor is that the Dom is in control and the sub has to do exactly as they are instructed. Most will treat their submissive as a slave, some will collar them, and some even attach a lead and make them crawl after them. Not all involve pain but most do as the pain is intrinsically linked to pleasure. All agree the limits that they are prepared to reach and any acts that are to be avoided altogether before the relationship begins so both parties know what to expect from the other. The submissives are said have the real power - they have a safe word that they will use to immediately end an activity and they can end an agreement at any time, although many become emotionally attached and put up with more than they’d originally agreed in fear of losing their Dom.”
“Oh my god.”
“The vast majority enjoys being pushed to their limits, both physically and emotionally, and for this to work, they have to trust their Dom. He facilitates all interactions and he has to know how far to push his sub. Both parties get sexual gratification from testing her limits. Doms would tell you that they are often pushed to their limits too - they always run the risk of getting carried away unintentionally and exceeding those limits. I’ve seen it happen numerous times. Some of these relationships only existed within the confines of the club - others were in full time relationships. I could never get used to seeing a man call his wife ‘slave’ and ‘slut’ and treat her with contempt in front of an audience, making her to demeaning chores and acts. Yet, as soon as they stepped out of the club, their relationship was just the average run of the mill married couple.”
My mind was reeling with this new information. Lucas has had several Dominant/submissive relationships. I’d heard of BDSM, of course I had, but I had assumed it was just for weirdos. I’d previously pictured a stereotypical Dominant (wearing a gimp mask and so on). I tried to picture Lucas exerting his will over a submissive but I couldn’t picture it. Instead, an image of me, spread and tied to a four-poster bed formed in my mind. Then a Lucas materialized and began to fuck me with wild abandon.
Oh my god!
The scenario played out in my mind. It was so freaking hot watching myself spread open and helpless as Lucas fucked me as though his life depended upon it. I could almost hear my moans and-
“ISSY!” Lucas called sharply. “Are you listening to me?”
“Hm, what?” I shook my mind to clear the image.
“Are you okay? I’m sorry if you found it too shocking but you did ask.”
I was far from okay. My heart was hammering in my chest and I had to fight to resist the urge to squirm. I pressed my thighs together in an attempt to cut off the distracting sensations that I could feel between my legs. I was so seriously turned on by the fantasy that had just filled my mind.
I want that fantasy to be a reality!
“When did you stop?” I was amazed that I could speak coherently.
I was sure that a shadow passed over his face for a moment before his usual calm mask slipped back into place. “A good few years ago now. I’ve been celibate since. I decided to dominate my way through the business world instead,” he said wryly.
“You’ve been celibate for years? But how? Why haven’t your balls exploded? I couldn’t manage to go one year without sex.”
“Ah, my dear Issy, celibacy is another way of exerting control, albeit over myself. I also have an extensively equipped gym within my apartment and I work off any sexual frustration. Well, until you caught my eye. I spent two hours solid working out yesterday evening, but I still had an impressive erection when I thought of you, although I could barely stand up straight.”
I burst out laughing at the vision of him staggering around a gym with a huge erection in his shorts. It served to lighten the atmosphere between us.
“Lucas, I would never judge you - even if you had taken part in more extreme sexual acts. I just wanted to know a brief synopsis of your sexual history - no biggie. I know so little about you. Besides, I probably shouldn‘t admit this but when you were talking about the club and your need to dominate, I found it … well, I found it a little arousing. More than a little arousing. I don’t subscribe to the whole slave thing … or gimp masks … or being caned to within an inch of my life but you do like to dominate during sex. You grasp my hands, you punish me by stopping the action if I try to interrupt you and I know you get a kick out of seeing my frustration.”
Lucas’ eyes flew wide open and his grip tightened on my hands for just a second. “Well, that’s unexpected. What exactly did you find arousing?