Authors: Nicole Hart
Ryker Hamilton. My stomach did a little flip.
I clicked on his profile. He didn’t have any friends or posts, not even a profile picture. It was a new account.
Confirm.
I stared at the screen, waiting. For something, anything. God, I was pathetic. But just as I was about to close the app another notification appeared. A message.
My fingers started shaking a little as I opened it. Yep, pathetic.
Ryker: I didn’t know if I did this right. I’ve never had one of these.
So I simply replied:
Your profile needs a little work.
I could see the little dots that let me know he was typing.
Ryker: I’ll probably never use it again. But I didn’t want to ask you for your number, I was too nervous.
You get nervous?
Ryker: Not very often. Are you busy tomorrow night?
I might be able to move some things around. Depends
Tomorrow was Sunday. My usual Sunday plans consisted of laundry and getting Brooklyn and I ready for the week. But I shouldn’t do this.
Ryker: Will you have dinner with me?
I shouldn’t do this.
Why was I even considering this? Was I ready to go on a date? Was I ready to see Ryker again? But it’s just a date. One little date. What could it hurt? My thoughts were all over the place.
Ok, sounds good.
Ryker: Will you send me your address? Can I pick you up at 6?
I would need to find a sitter. But Christy, from work, would do it. She was always trying to convince me to get out of the house. Plus, Brooklyn loved her and her daughter. I sent Ryker my address and Christy a quick text. She was happy to oblige, but demanded details.
Ryker: Goodnight, Nat. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Night
I tried to be calm and casual, but I was anything but that. I dialed the number I needed.
“Hello?” A raspy, deep voice whispered. Shit, it was 4 a.m. in Germany. Stupid time difference.
“Nathan, shit, I’m sorry, I know it’s late . . . or early . . . sorry,” I rambled. I knew I should call back later, but I couldn’t. I needed my best friend.
“Babe, babe.” I heard in the distance. “It’s Nat,” he said.
“Hang on, here she is,” he mumbled. I’m pretty sure he was falling asleep mid-sentence.
“Nat, what’s wrong?” Emily said, sounding wide awake and worried.
“Nothing’s wrong, I’m sorry. I forgot about the time change.” I apologized again.
“Nat, we’ve been stationed here for two years, how could you forget that?” Emily asked with a laugh. “What’s up?”
“I saw him!” I blurted out.
“Him? Who?” she asked. I could picture her sitting straight up in bed, so curious she couldn’t stand it.
“Ryker,” I said. There was a few seconds of silence.
“Spring break Ryker?” she asked.
“The one and only.”
“Shut up!” She yelled. “Sorry, baby, go back to sleep,” she said, followed by a kissing sound.
“On the beach today. And Brooklyn met him, and she loved his tattoos. They caught a crab, and then he friend requested me on Facebook, and then asked me on a date.”
“Whoa, slow down there speedy.” She giggled.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves.
“Ok, I’m fine now,” I said taking another deep breath.
“So, when are you going out with him?”
“I told him tomorrow, but I don’t know if I should. I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Nat, sweetie, it’s been four years. It’s time you go on a date. But wait a minute, why didn’t he call you?” she asked, suddenly sounding defensive.
That was the question I asked for months after spring break. She watched me cry and mope around, waiting. She held my hand as we ate junk food and bashed stupid boys who broke our hearts.
“He said it was a long story. I need to know, too, so if I go, I’m going to ask him.”
“Not if, Nat, when. You need to do this.”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled, chewing on my nail.
“Please, go. For me. It will make me happy, and you should want to make me happy, since you woke me up at four in the morning.”
“Ok.” I giggled.
“You’re going?” she asked, her voice full of excitement.
“I’m going.” I sighed.
“Yay! And then you’re going to call and give me every dirty detail. But like, daylight hours, at least on Nathan’s day off.” She giggled.
“Oh, damn. Tell him I’m sorry for waking him,” I whined.
“He’s going out in the field next week, so it will be just me and the kids for a couple of weeks. During that time, feel free to call with all the details. Especially the raunchy details. Since I’ll be sexually deprived for two weeks.”
“Em, I think you might be jumping the gun a little,” I said.
“Hey, you never know,” she said.
“I doubt it, but ok, I’ll call you soon.”
“Ok, doll. I’m going to get a quickie before the baby wakes up,” she whispered into the phone.
“You’re a mess.” I laughed.
“I’m a horny mess right now. Love you, sweets.”
“Love you, bye.”
I looked down at my phone and saw the red notification again. A message from Ryker.
Ryker: I can’t wait to see you again.
Me too.
I said, hitting send and putting my phone down.
Am I really doing this? I hadn’t been on a date in eight years, since Kyle.
I shouldn’t do this.
I’m doing this.
Holy Shit
I sat in my truck staring at her front door. I couldn’t believe this was happening after all these years. I stared at the bundle of flowers sitting in the passenger seat. Was it too much? I felt like I had a lot of explaining and making up to do, and flowers couldn’t hurt. Plus I remembered that she loved cherry blossoms. They weren’t easy to find, but I was on a mission. The florist mixed them with some other types, but I made sure to tell her I wanted the cherry blossoms to stand out. It looked nice, not that I knew much about flowers. They weren’t dead so that was a plus.
I scooped the flowers up and hopped out of my Chevy. I spent the morning shining her up. I wanted this date to be perfect. I had been waiting for twelve years. My heart started to pound a little harder with each step I took. I walked up the sidewalk and took in my surroundings. It was a nice house in a nice neighborhood. I’m glad she was doing ok financially, being alone with Brooklyn. I rang the doorbell and waited.
Holy Shit.
She opened the door and I wanted to kiss her right there. She was fucking beautiful. She was wearing a yellow dress that showed off her perfect tan legs. Her hair was down and curled at the ends. She wasn’t wearing too much makeup that it covered those little freckles on her nose. I was thankful for that. Fuck me. She was gorgeous.
“Hey,” she said shyly, and opened her door, allowing me to walk inside.
“You look beautiful,” I said as I stood in the doorway.
“For you,” I said, feeling like a fucking school boy, as I handed her the flowers.
She took them and put them to her nose. When she stared at them, her eyes lit up and she smiled.
“Cherry blossoms,” she whispered.
“Still your favorite?” I asked.
“They are,” she said, and leaned closer to me. She put her hand on my bicep and squeezed it gently.
“Thanks.” She stared at me for a second before she broke our eye contact.
“Come in, I’m going to put them in a vase before we go.”
I did as she said. Her house was nice; everything was in its place, including the basket of toys in the corner. Which reminded me.
“Brooklyn isn’t here?” I asked.
“A friend from work has her. Our kids are the same age; she’s taking them to a movie,” she said as she filled a vase with water, and placed the flowers inside. I was actually hoping to see her for a minute. She was a funny kid with a big personality.
“Ready?” she said as she grabbed her purse, and headed towards the door.
“Yes ma’am,” I said, and I put my hand on the small of her back as we walked through the doorway. I felt her body tense for just a second before she exhaled. I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable around me. I had to explain why I didn’t call.
The drive to the restaurant was quiet. Natalie seemed uncomfortable, and I was busy trying to figure out how to explain myself. I had my whole speech planned out, but the second I saw her that shit went out the window. I pulled my truck into the parking lot and killed the engine. I had to do this now.