The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex

Dr.
Stephen E.
Goldstone
has a busy surgical practice in the New York metropolitan area.
He is a fellow of the American College of Surgeons, is on the teaching faculty of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine, and holds appointments at two New York City hospitals, Mount Sinai Medical Center and Cabrini Medical Center.

T
he material in this book is for informational purposes only.
It is not intended to replace the advice and care of a medical professional.
Although every effort has been made to provide the most up-to-date information, much of the medical science in this field is rapidly changing.
Readers are advised to consult a physician or other qualified health professional regarding treatment of all their health problems.
The author and publisher will not be responsible for any adverse effects that may result from the use or application of the information contained in this book.
To protect their privacy, pseudonyms have been used for the individual patients mentioned in this book
.

I
had been thinking about writing this book for many months, and it might not have come to fruition as quickly had Stanley Siegel and Daniel Wolfe not pushed me to sit down and write the proposal.
But their support did not end there.
They diligently reviewed what I had written, offered pertinent suggestions that made it better, and then steered me to my agent, Barbara Lowenstein.

I am indebted to Barbara Lowenstein and the staff at Lowenstein and Associates who sold this book before I even knew what had happened.

Overcome with the enormity of this project, I thank Joseph Aversano and Robert Caruso, two of the best friends anyone could hope for, who brought me to the top of a mountain in paradise, where I found the inspiration to write.

As the pages poured out of my computer, I relied upon the members of my writing group, Mark Alpert, Johanna Fiedler, Dave King, Melissa Knox, Eva Meklor, Cheryl Morrison, and David Spears, who helped me eliminate my passive voice, clean up language and sentence structure, and reined me in when I went “over the top.”
I thank them for learning far more than they wanted or needed to know about gay sex.

I was fortunate to have at my disposal a group of outstanding physicians and physician assistants who willingly answered my questions, filled in gaps in my knowledge, and then offered welcome comments on the manuscript.
My thanks go out to Doctors Jeffrey Glick, Robert Gluck, Edward Goldberg, Howard Grossman, Lawrence Hitzeman, Michael Mullen, Michael Swerdlow, and Todd Yancey and physician assistants Russell Chieffe and Florentino Reyes.

I must also offer a special thanks to Dr.
Franklin Lowe, a urologist, who let me pick his extremely knowledgeable brain as I wrote the chapters on male genitalia.

I am fortunate to be surrounded by great friends who offered their own personal insights into gay sex, shared their experiences, and willingly read what I had written.
They opened my eyes to topics that needed to be covered and dispensed loads of encouragement whenever I got bogged down.
Thanks especially to Peter Ezrin, Seth Shulman, Joey Smith, and Ben Stilp.

When I finally turned in the manuscript, I learned how truly lucky I was to have found a wonderful editor in Tom Spain and his assistant, Mitch Hoffman, at Dell.
Tom’s hard work helped to make this book far better than I could have on my own.

I am forever indebted to my patients, who taught me far more about caregiving than any text or teacher I encountered throughout my career.
Their questions and concerns formed the framework of this book.
It could not have been written without them.

I must also thank Susan Harper, who kept my office running smoothly and my patients happy while I was busy writing.
Ira Smith deserves much credit for his fantastic drawings, which add so much to the text.

I want to thank the very many people who have influenced my life and helped me to grow into the person who could write this book.
Catherine Hiller helped me find my “writer’s voice,” while Dr.
Stephen Remen guided me toward self-awareness and, more important, self-acceptance.
My parents have always been there for me during the highs and sometime lows of my life, offering encouragement and steadfast assurance of their love.

Every day I am thankful for the boundless love and encouragement I receive from my two sons and my partner, Bruce Karp.
This book grew out of his love and support for me.

And last but certainly not least, I am thankful for my two sons and the joy they bring to my life.
With each day they continue to surpass my expectations.

I know this list is long, but it had to be, for every one of these people was an integral link in the chain that produced this book.
If I’ve left you out, please accept my apologies, for it was in no way intentional.

Introduction

Appendix 1:
The Ten Most Frequently Asked Questions

Appendix 2:
Common Symptoms and Possible Causes

Appendix 3:
Average Incubation Periods for Common STDs

M
any of us learn about sex with men in all the wrong places—bars, bathrooms, and backseats—but rarely from anyone who knows what he’s talking about.
Straight men may turn to their parents or authoritative books for answers, but most gay men would be too embarrassed or even afraid.
And if you had the courage to ask parents for help, most, knowing little about gay sexual practices, are ill equipped to provide it.