The Islands (45 page)

The waves were pretty big, the break quite a distance away and there looked to be a shallow sandbar which dissipated the waves as they ran onto the beach. On the right point, much further out and beyond her comfort zone, she saw two board riders tackling a decent-sized tube.

Catherine pulled on a T-shirt, took her board to the water, slid onto it and began paddling. When she reached the waves, they looked bigger than they did from the shore, but she did as PJ had taught her and waited and watched before choosing the right wave which gave her a short but exciting ride.

There were two surfers in the line up near her and she could tell they were watching her. She caught two more waves and then suddenly PJ was skimming towards her on his board.

‘Hi. Howzit?'

‘I couldn't stand being cooped up a moment longer.'

‘Yep, know that feeling. You okay? We're going in for something to eat.'

‘Thanks, maybe.' Her two malasadas were a long time ago.

As they waited for Damien and the others to come in, PJ looked at her and leant over and rubbed her back and shoulders with his towel.

‘You're shivering. The sun'll warm you up in a minute.'

‘I don't think I'll ever feel warm again,' she said.

Smiling, he wrapped his damp towel and his arm around her.

‘Oh, PJ.' She buried her head in his shoulder and started to sob.

‘Hey, hey, what's this? What's up?' He tilted her chin and looked at her stricken face.

‘I'm leaving. Bradley's been transferred to the Pentagon. I can't go, I just can't.' The sobs came thick and fast.

PJ held her shaking shoulders.

Finally Catherine lifted her head. ‘What will I do?'

PJ spoke gently. ‘What do you want to do?'

She stared into his blue eyes. ‘I don't want to go. I can't live in boring Washington DC! I can't leave all this.'

‘Then you've decided, haven't you.' It was a statement.

‘How can I? I mean, leave Bradley . . .' Now she said the words, the realisation of what she was thinking, feeling, saying, was out in the open.

PJ let her go. ‘Catherine, it's your life. It's your choice.'

‘It's such a hard decision,' she said miserably.

‘If you ask me, I think you've made your decision.'

He began to towel his hair. ‘Damien and Split are coming. Do you want to talk about this in front of them? Do you want to go back in the water?'

‘No. What are you doing now? Can I talk about this with you? What will happen to us and the fun we've had?'

‘Nothing need happen. It'll sort itself out. Right now I have to finish a board for Split.' He smiled warmly at her and said softly, ‘I'll see you later, Catherine.'

‘Hey, Catherine!' called Damien.

‘Hi. Can't stay, see you guys later.' She nodded at the other surfers.

‘I'll take your board back if you want,' offered PJ.

‘Thanks.' Catherine bolted.

She drove back to the apartment and wondered what to do next. She didn't want to make an irrevocable decision . . . but she knew that she didn't want to make a life with Bradley in Washington DC. She didn't want to discuss it. She was even reluctant to talk to Mollie. Normally she'd have talked to her parents and best friend and, here, her Hawaiian ‘family', including Lester, about a problem, but maybe they'd tell her to stay with her husband.

She had to get things straight in her mind. Perhaps if she and Bradley hadn't been posted to Hawaii first, if she hadn't been utterly beguiled by the Islands and formed such strong friendships, she might have settled more easily into the life of being a naval wife. But Catherine kept trying to imagine her life with Bradley in Washington, or in any other post, and slowly acknowledged that, no matter where they might live, nothing would change in their relationship.

She could hear her father's calm rational questions and comments. Yes, she'd been swept away by Bradley. He was handsome and utterly charming. Moreover, she'd liked the sound of an exotic life of travel and new experiences he'd offered her. And, yes, Hawaii was seductive. And, yes, the promise of living in such a place had given her relationship with Bradley an added dimension of romance and allure. All this was true she acknowledged, but there was also a downside.

Bradley ran Catherine's life. Set the parameters. He wanted her to be a mature, sensible adult. But I'm not ready to be a sedate, sensible lady, she told herself. I want to do exciting things and be with interesting people. I want to get involved with rallies, surfing, take photos and write articles.

The arguments within her head and heart raged backwards and forwards. What to do next? What would she say to Bradley? Could she bear to face him? Would he listen to her? No, no, she'd never won an argument with Bradley. He would talk her out of this madness, this rashness, make her feel childish and foolish and she'd give in and then they'd go on and nothing would change. And she would feel so unhappy. And then it would be too late. She was sliding, sliding towards becoming like Julia Bensen, like her in-laws, Angela and Deidre, conforming, being an appendage and not a person. For a moment she remembered Aunt Meredith and wildly thought of calling her. But what was the point? It would be like calling Rob back home. Neither could make the decision for her, only point out the pros and cons and she'd already thought of them.

She decided to take a drive around Oahu. So many places held an attachment and a memory, others were places yet to visit and spend time. And she'd only scratched the surface. There were the other islands. She'd seen so little of Kauai and Maui, had yet to go to the Big Island, Lanai and Molokai. Kiann'e had talked about visiting the other smaller islands, even the mysterious island of Niihau, and now Catherine wondered if she would ever see them.

The sun was sinking when she found herself driving along the familiar road which led to Aunty Lani's and Uncle Henry's house. Catherine had not intended stopping until Uncle Henry appeared at the side of the road leading two small goats. He recognised her and waved and Catherine pulled over.

‘You're coming to see us, how nice. How are you, Catherine?'

‘Not bad, Uncle Henry. Are they your goats?'

‘New keikis – their momma died so Lani and me got two new kids!'

‘You've got a bit of a walk to the house, do you want a ride?' Catherine got out of the car.

‘That'd be good. They're not so strong 'cause they're mighty hungry. Lani went to the store to get formula and bottles.'

‘Oh, they're so little.' Catherine took the small soft leggy bundle that Henry handed her. ‘Let's put them in the back seat and you sit between them, Uncle.'

Catherine and Uncle Henry carried the kids into the house and they settled themselves in the kitchen where Aunty Lani had set a padded box ready for the new arrivals. Catherine stroked the small creature on her lap. She studied the wet dark nose, the pale pink skin beneath the fuzz of silky hair, the fine eyelashes, the slim fragile legs and tiny hooves. ‘How sweet they are. What's going to happen to them?'

‘Oh, they'll hang around the place then we'll put them out in a field. If they eat Aunty's flowers they'll be in the imu, wiki wiki.'

‘Oh no!'

‘Just foolin',' laughed Uncle. ‘You watch, Lani'll have these in bed with us if I'm not careful.'

‘You be careful, Henry, or you'll be the one in the doghouse. Here we go . . . Catherine! Lovely to see you.' Lani gave Catherine a quick kiss and dumped the brown paper bag from the store on the bench. ‘So you've been roped in to kid-sit.'

‘Just happened to be passing, Aunty.'

‘Just happened? Way out here? Well, that's handy. Here, let me fix these bottles and you can feed that little kid.'

Catherine sat in the sunshine on the back patio looking across the garden to the mountains with the sleeping kid on her lap. Behind her she could hear the surf breaking over the reef.

‘They can sleep in that box in the kitchen,' said Aunty Lani in a resigned voice. ‘This'll be like having two new babies.' She smiled at Catherine, stroking the sleeping kid. ‘You look very maternal. You thinking of starting a family soon?'

Catherine's involuntary jerk startled the kid awake. ‘No. Not at all!'

Aunty Lani gave her a penetrating look. ‘You don't want children?'

‘Not yet. Not . . .' Tears sprang to her eyes and she turned her head away.

‘I'm sorry, Catherine, it's not my place to pry.' Aunty Lani busied herself.

‘Things are in a bit of a mess . . . I just don't know what to do,' whispered Catherine.

Aunty Lani went to her and gently laid her hand on top of Catherine's head. ‘Sleep on it. If you're having problems, or don't know what to do, rest awhile and let your mind clear. You'll see things differently in the morning. And, dear girl, only you can make whatever decision it is. Only you.'

Uncle Henry joined them from the garden. ‘I think I've put together a fair ol' corral out there for those babies. Want to have a look?'

‘Sure. I was just going to suggest that Catherine stay the night with us. Babysit that youngster. You up for a couple of night feeds, Catherine?'

‘Oh, I . . . hadn't expected to stay . . . but if you need me . . .'

‘We certainly do.' Aunty Lani bustled Uncle Henry inside with a look he recognised as ‘don't say anything'.

‘It's just us around tonight for a change, all the children are with friends and their cousins. If your husband is still away you can stop here, no-one will worry about you, will they? Be good to have time here, Catherine. It's a special place out here, a cradle between the mountains and the sea.' Aunty Lani sighed. ‘We enjoy it while we can. If we're forced to move from here the magic will disappear under some sort of development. You rest here. You'll see things more clearly after a night in the shadow of the mountain. Take a walk mauka. Put your back to the sea,' she said softly.

Catherine helped Uncle Henry pick some vegetables, lock up the chickens and make up a batch of milk for the goats to see them through the night. Aunty Lani sang as she cooked. The long shadows reached down to the simple house as the day faded. Catherine felt calmer, peaceful. Except for the thump of the surf this reminded her of being home at
Heatherbrae
. . . safe, secure and loved.

She felt like a spoiled daughter. Aunty Lani insisted she take second helpings and Uncle Henry wanted to hear all about her father's property and her horse, Parker.

After dinner Aunty Lani sat in a rocking chair under a bright lamp to do her quilting. Uncle Henry sat outside in the dark smoking a cigarette and watching the moon rise.

‘It's so clear. Maybe I'll take a short walk,' said Catherine.

‘Here, walk with my torch. Just in case,' said Uncle Henry. ‘There's nothing to be afraid of out there. But looking at the stars sometimes you don't watch where you put your feet,' he laughed. ‘Head in the clouds, feet down a puka.'

Catherine circled the house, following narrow, well-trodden tracks behind it, until she came to the small stream that was fed from the springs in the hills. She sat down and looked at the water bubbling over rocks and imagined that when the rain washed down from the misty peaks and all the waterfalls were running, this stream probably tripled in size.

She knew that all her friends would be busy. PJ would be in his house with friends and visitors – there was always a surfer passing through from Australia or the mainland. Kiann'e would be dancing and knowing that her husband was proud of what she did. Eleanor would be graciously greeting her guests and Abel John would be at home with his family around him. Would they miss her? Would they think about her when she was gone? And Bradley? Was he thinking of her, now wrapped up in his career and his plans for Washington?

As Catherine sat there, hugging her knees, across the stream she thought she heard a rustle and she straightened up, reaching for the torch. But before she turned it on she hesitated. What was that in the trees? Was it mist, moonlight suddenly shining through tree branches, a stray white animal?

For a moment she thought she saw the figure of a woman with long white hair wearing a shimmering dress, but she was transparent because Catherine could see the shapes of the dark trees through her. The image hovered and swayed and Catherine suddenly smelled a powerful perfume, richly sweet, that she thought was familiar. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. When she opened them, the apparition and the rustle were gone, but just a faint trace of the perfume lingered.

Catherine didn't feel afraid. She got up and turned the torch on and followed its wavering beam back to the house. Strangely she felt comforted, calm and slightly sad, knowing the moment for indecision had passed.

During the night Catherine fed the kids and put them back in the padded box Aunty Lani had made, then she curled back under her cotton coverlet. Out of the window she saw the droop of silver-frosted palm fronds and heard the distant cry of a night bird. She felt so grateful to the Hawaiian couple who had taken her under their wing and treated her as family. As Catherine drifted to sleep she knew Hawaii was her second home. She would be all right here. And on the fringes of sleep came the knowledge that she and Bradley would never make a home together, even if they were married for forty years.

Aunty Lani and Uncle Henry were more than happy for Catherine to stay with them, especially as they sensed that she was unhappy about something.

‘Please, Catherine, you know that you're always welcome here,' said Aunty. Catherine thanked them both for their kindness, but said that the night had cleared her head and she knew what she had to do.

Bradley was due back any day. He had said that he would call and let her know when exactly. So Catherine hung around the apartment and waited for his call, keeping herself busy by giving the place a thorough spring-clean. But when he rang she was hot and dishevelled and still not sure what to say. Every time she thought about the situation she had to put it to one side. How could she explain it to Bradley? She just had a growing knowledge this was not the life she wanted but how did she say this without it seeming rash, sudden, or irrational?