The Italian's Blushing Gardener (11 page)

Only a discreet knock at the door saved her. Swift, sure staff presented dinner on silver dishes and the finest china plates. Kira barely noticed the food. She could think of nothing but the tussle between her body’s needs and her common sense. Stefano was trouble; she knew it.

‘This is spectacular!’ she laughed as the waiters poured her a chilled glass of pinot grigio.

‘My guests always enjoy the best.’

‘Is this how you entertain all your women?’

‘No.’

Kira paused and looked along the table to where he was sitting. He looked up and met her eyes.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘Then what do you do?’

His puzzled frown was exactly that—puzzled. However hard Kira tried to be suspicious, she couldn’t spot anything shifty in his expression.

‘Why this sudden obsession with other women?’ His gaze was equally searching.

‘You said I was only the second woman to stand up to you.’

He laughed. ‘Yes…’ He paused, clearly turning something
over in his mind. ‘If you must know, each time you answer back you remind me of my little sister, Maria.’

‘Oh…I thought you were comparing me to…’

Kira’s voice sounded very small suddenly, as she became aware of how little she really knew this man. His eyes burned with cold fire.

‘No. Never.’

Kira’s mind worked with the speed of light. She pieced together enough hints to know this was a delicate area.

‘Were you very close to your sister?’ she risked, pretending to be busy with her meal.

‘We were inseparable. We had to be, on the streets. She had no one else to protect her.’

He dropped his fork with a clatter. Kira looked up sharply. Elbows on the table, his fingers were netted in front of his mouth as though to stop any more words escaping.

‘Maria was very lucky to have a brother like you looking after her,’ she said, hoping to sidestep the awkward subject. Stefano was not so tactful.

‘It was people like me who made the streets dangerous in the first place,’ he muttered.

‘I don’t think so.’ Kira tried to pacify him, but she was desperate to hear more. ‘You must have been different, even then. You told me how you started your own business.’

‘Maria’s death was the only reason I changed.’

He stopped talking, and looked up to meet her eyes. He saw only sympathy and willingness to listen. Taking a deep breath, he continued, his voice hoarse and seeming to force the words out. It was the first time he’d told anyone the truth for more than twenty years. ‘She was
killed when a raid on a shop went wrong. She hadn’t wanted to go—I convinced her, saying it was “for the good of the family.” It was my fault. From that moment on I vowed to turn my life around, and I did.’

‘Maria would be really proud of you now.’

Stefano exhaled so heavily all the candle flames fluttered.

‘I’m not so sure. When I decided to go straight, I made a clean break. Since her funeral, I haven’t spoken to any members of my family. I turned my back on them all when I abandoned that way of life. It was the only way to get out. The last time I saw any of them was when I was acting as a witness for the prosecution.’

Oh, why did I have to open my big mouth? Kira thought desperately. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, but didn’t dare. Where would that lead for either of them? Placing her knife and fork carefully on her plate she hoped for inspiration. None came. Instead, Stefano sprang to his feet when he saw she had finished. Collecting the remains of their meal, he carried it out to the kitchen. Kira fought the impulse to follow him. She desperately wanted to apologise for raising the subject, hold him, share his pain and tell him everything would be okay. It was impossible. Stefano wasn’t that sort of man. Expecting an agonising wait, she was relieved when he came back almost immediately with a confection of tropical fruit sorbets. They glittered like jewels set in crystal dishes.

‘There are sponge cakes and wafers, too, in case you share Maria’s appetite as well as her temper,’ he told her, sounding perfectly normal. There was no trace of the anguish she expected. All the self-control was back in place. Astonished, Kira looked up into his gaze. He was
expressionless again, but something in her questioning face seemed to relax him.

‘You’re right, Kira. There are plenty of things about my life of which Maria would be proud. I’d never thought of that until you said it.’

‘Wasn’t it obvious?’ she said as he placed the delicious dessert in front of her.

‘No. I’d genuinely never considered it. All I focused on was losing her, and then the rest of my family. I knew there had to be more to life than crime and handouts. I made myself master of my own destiny. Working gave me an outlet, and an escape. I channelled all my frustrations into learning as much as I could about my own city, and then other places, as I climbed the ladder to success. That single-minded toil dulled the pain, but it left an awful void. Maybe that’s why I’m never satisfied.’

He drew back from her suddenly. ‘I’ve never told anyone that before,’ he added, with such an air of surprise Kira couldn’t help smiling.

‘Then thank you,’ she said softly.

On impulse, she stood. Before either of them knew what was happening, she kissed him on the cheek.

Coming to her senses like a sleepwalker waking from a dream, she dropped straight back into her seat. Until a moment before, she had been ready to resist him. Now she didn’t know how she felt. In that same instant, Stefano made her confusion worse. He reached out and squeezed her hand.

‘Let’s live in the present and future, not the past, Kira.’

With a final pat he left her side and went back to his seat at the far end of the table.

Much later, Kira lay back on one of the long, cream leather couches and felt a huge smile creep across her face. A threatened disaster was turning into the best evening she had ever spent. The rest of the night had passed in a glorious blur of conversation—the best kind. Sharing true thoughts and ambitions and dreams. She felt filled with utter happiness.

A sound from the doorway made her sit up quickly. Stefano stood there, coffee in hand, looking at her.

‘I didn’t mean to wake you,’ he said softly. Suddenly the sensual tension which had been disguised with words drew taut again. His gaze was serious, clouded and full of desire.

‘It’s okay. I wasn’t asleep.’

She stretched into a sitting position as he came towards her.

‘You don’t have far to go,’ he said simply.

Kira watched him placing things on the glass surface beside her. He wasn’t looking at her any longer, but her body jangled from his nearness. He turned his head suddenly and she was caught in his gaze, almost trembling.

‘Kira, tonight has been fantastic. In fact, I can’t remember a night like it.’

‘Nor me.’ She sighed. ‘Before I met you, I was uptight all the time. You’re quite a role model.’ Taking the cup and saucer from his hands, she looked reflective. ‘I really wish I could be like you all the time, Stefano.’

He chuckled and sat down a little distance away from her, cradling his coffee. ‘What—cold, calculating and immune to human feeling?’

‘You need a little of those qualities to really succeed
in business. Loss, and an unhappy childhood, forces that tough shell onto people. I know all about that.’

‘I do, too—although your background is still a mystery to me.’ He watched her sip her drink. ‘I’ve got every qualification the school of hard knocks can deliver, but what can have been wrong with your childhood? You told me it was full of Cotswold Christmases.’

‘I was the big problem in my childhood,’ she told him glumly. ‘My adoptive parents wanted a porcelain doll, but they ended up with me instead. I’ve always liked doing things. They simply wanted me to
be.
I’ve never been happy, acting the part of a dim ornament.’

‘I can imagine.’ He smiled with a warmth that encouraged Kira to open up a little more.

‘But that’s all in the past. Now I’m earning a decent living, my stepparents can forgive me anything—as long as I keep sending the cheques home.’

He grimaced. ‘Maybe you’re lucky to have a family to spoil?’

She wriggled around to face him as they sat together on the settee. ‘I wish that was all they wanted.’

He leaned forward and lifted the plate of sweet treats up from the coffee table. As he offered it to Kira, she got a tantalising hint of his evocative aftershave. She breathed deeply, but despite the distraction could not resist a piece of crystallised pineapple. Stefano selected a strawberry dipped in dark chocolate before putting the plate back on the table.

‘The problem is, settling debts comes right at the bottom of my stepparents’ list of priorities. I can’t bear to think of them being without heat, light or transport so I bail them out—at least in theory. In reality, they
use most of my money to send more invitations around the country club.’

Stefano made lazy circles in his coffee with a silver teaspoon. ‘Why don’t you offer to settle their debts direct?’

Kira was aghast. ‘What—go behind their backs? I couldn’t do that!’

‘Then you’ll have to be tough with them, Kira, and say “no more,”’ Stefano said sharply. ‘It will hurt in the short term, but will end up saving you a lot of grief. I should know,’ he finished darkly.

Kira rolled her lip, wishing she could take his advice. ‘It’s all right for you. You’re always so self-assured.’

He looked at her long and hard before replying. ‘You don’t do so badly. In fact, I would say you are an unusually forthright woman. You were certainly very decided about our plans tonight.’

Kira laughed. ‘I’ve told you before. I like simple pleasures. You can have too much of a good thing!’

‘I know, but I never expected to find anyone who agreed with me.’ He sipped his coffee in silence, and then slowly and deliberately put it down on the table. ‘Am I one of your simple pleasures, Kira? Or too much of a good thing?’

Her eyes remained on his hand. He drew it back from his cup, and rested it lightly on his thigh.

She bit her lip. ‘I don’t know. I can’t decide.’

He hitched his shoulders in a casual gesture. ‘You accepted my invitation and came for dinner.’

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have done.’

‘Yes, you should, and I know you enjoyed the evening. I did, too,’ he said, so quickly that she couldn’t
possibly doubt it. But worrying was a tough habit to break.

‘Are you sure, Stefano?’ she asked uncertainly.

‘I’m positive.’

Her willpower started to wobble. Nothing had happened…so far. When Stefano seduced her the first time, it had simply been physical, if spectacular. Now, having spent the evening with such a sweet, funny, charming man, she was terribly worried. If he loved and left her after this, she would never be able to bear it.

‘I’m not sure at all. I can’t trust my own judgement any more, Stefano,’ she confessed. Surely it was best to tell him the bad news straight out. ‘I give money to lost causes. I made a fool of myself over a man and got my name all over the papers as a result. It was hell, and I’m so afraid of it happening again.’

The words escaped from her in a rush. She looked down at her lap, stunned to hear herself speak the words she had held back for so long. Beside her, she sensed Stefano tense. Her fingers twisted painfully as she waited for the questions to start.

‘It’s no wonder you send out mixed messages,’ he said quietly. ‘I wanted you from the moment I spotted you from the helicopter. When you put up barriers, I held back. Normally, I’d simply walk away, but something about you keeps me coming back. What happened? Tell me.’

His concern was so genuine. Kira was touched. Still staring at her hands, she spoke in the hope that sharing her pain might soften it somehow. ‘I made an idiot of myself while I was at university. If I’m honest I knew there was something wrong about Hugh Taylor from the start. He only gave me his mobile number, saying he
didn’t have a landline at home. We never went back to his place, which should have been the decider. When I discovered he was married, I was too weak and stupid to drop him like the rat he was. To my shame I let the affair limp on, but I didn’t know the half of it. It was left to his poor wife—or rather, one of them—to expose his double life. He was already a bigamist when he moved to Oxford, and started on me. The story was horrible enough to make the papers, and ruin me.’

There. She had said it. All the shame and embarrassment rushed over her again. She covered her face with her hands, unable to bear Stefano’s gaze and sure she would never be able to look him in the eyes again after this.

‘I was such a fool…’ she went on through her fingers. ‘I’d led such a sheltered life. I didn’t know any better and took his bait. To know everyone was talking about me behind my back was awful. And my stepparents won’t let it rest, even now…There was no way on earth I could have carried on with my course after that. The shame was unendurable.’

Oblivious to everything but her pain, she had been rocking backwards and forwards. It was only when a light touch fell on her shoulder that she came to her senses. When Stefano spoke, she almost lost them again.

‘How could anyone treat you like that?’ he whispered.

‘It’s what people do. They use you, and then walk away,’ she muttered, overwhelmed by the grubby scandal of it all.

‘Yes. Life is hard for the weak.’ Stefano’s voice cut through the silence like a knife.

Kira dropped her hands and turned a simmering stare directly on him. If there was one thing she found more painful than self-hatred, it was someone else’s pity.

‘I am
not
weak,’ she said, with absolute conviction.

‘I know.’ His reaction was equally unexpected. ‘I was blaming myself for things I did, long ago. Seeing you like this has made me put my own past under the microscope. It isn’t pretty,’ he said grimly.

‘You aren’t a bit like Hugh!’ She frowned.

‘I was. I am,’ he persisted. ‘I may not have deceived my lovers—we had fun, but that was the extent of it. Sometimes I know I have left broken hearts behind me through not resisting temptation. You knew that when we slept together, didn’t you?’ he looked for her agreement.