The Japanese Ninja Surprise (2 page)

Stanley was shown to a beautiful room in Oda Nobu’s beautiful home. The walls, and even the doors, were made of delicate rice paper stretched across wooden frames. The only piece of furniture was a bed—a mat on a low platform, nearly on the floor.

A handsome kimono, embroidered with scarlet dragons, lay across the
bed. Stanley slipped his arms into the sleeves and wrapped the kimono around himself. And around and around—apparently kimonos were not styled for people with his shape—until finally he could tie the sash.

Then, one of the ninjas, the one who had thrown a flying kick at Stanley, appeared at the door. He gestured for Stanley to follow him.

At the end of a long sunlit hallway, the ninja slid open a rice paper door. There was Oda Nobu, seated on a straw mat in front of a low table. The movie star smiled as the ninja showed Stanley how to sit at the table, with his legs folded beneath him. For once, Stanley
was grateful to be flat.

Oda Nobu gestured over the objects laid upon the table: ceramic bowls, a small scoop, a ladle, and a covered jar. Beside these, water boiled in an iron pot above a flame.

“This is the tea ceremony, Stanley-san,” he said. “It is a very ancient and very important tradition for Japanese people.”

Stanley watched as Oda Nobu
measured powdered leaves into one of the ceramic bowls. Next, he ladled hot water into the bowl. He used the whisk to stir the tea. Stanley could tell that the careful motions had taken a lot of practice to learn.

The movie star bowed to Stanley and held the bowl out to him. Stanley bowed and took the bowl. Oda Nobu made a drinking gesture, and Stanley took a sip.

Stanley had never had tea before. It tasted…

Stanley searched for a word. Mrs. Lambchop always said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Thinking about his mother
reminded Stanley of the delicious hot chocolate she often made for special occasions. For an instant, homesickness washed over him, but he fought it, because
this
was a special occasion! And he wanted to tell Oda Nobu how much he appreciated the tea ceremony, even if the tea tasted…

And then a solution came to him: The tea tasted
interesting
!

He started to say this, but his host held a finger to his lips. “We will talk soon,” he said, and reached for the bowl of tea. Stanley passed it to him, and Oda Nobu drank.

When they were finished, Oda Nobu cleaned all the tea ceremony’s objects
and arranged them neatly on the table. He and Stanley bowed to each other once again. Then Oda Nobu stood and motioned for Stanley to follow him out of the tearoom and into a garden. They sat on a bench next to a fountain. Around the fountain were the smallest trees Stanley had ever seen.

“Bonsai,” Oda Nobu explained, as if he had read Stanley’s mind. “The art of training plants into pleasing miniature shapes. Another important tradition to my people. Yet another one is…” Oda Nobu looked directly at Stanley. “Stanley-san,” he said, “do you know the history of the ninja?”

“Sure,” Stanley said. “Well, that is,
I’ve seen all of your movies several times!”

Oda Nobu laughed. “Ah, yes, of course! But permit me to tell you a little more.” He picked up a stick, and in the sand he drew what looked like a charging seahorse. “In the old times,” he said, “Japan had many rulers. Each had his own kingdom, his own army, his own people and lands to protect.”

Oda Nobu drew small circles inside the larger outline, which Stanley now realized was the shape of Japan.

“Often these rulers would fight one another,” Oda Nobu continued. “Like people everywhere, I am sorry to say. If you have something I want, and I
believe I am more powerful than you, I just might decide to take it from you.”

Oda Nobu drew a line between two circles in the sand. “Of course, a ruler could use his army to take what he wanted,” he said. “But often he believed it was better to use
ninjutsu
. Do you know what that word means, Stanley-san?”

“Well,” Stanley said, “it sounds a little like
ninja
.”

“Yes, it does,” Oda Nobu said. “
Ninjutsu
means ‘the art of stealth.’ Ninjas are trained in the art of going undetected, of not being seen.”

“But,” Stanley said, “I could see your ninjas pretty clearly.”

“Stanley-san, you are a very funny
young man,” Oda Nobu said. “And very honest in your observations. No, those men are not ninjas. They are my bodyguards. They just like to wear the ninja uniforms.”

“Bodyguards?” Stanley asked. “Why would you need bodyguards? You’re Oda Nobu!”

Oda Nobu shrugged. He looked embarrassed. “Of course I don’t need bodyguards. It is the movie studio. They think it makes their biggest movie star look even more important.”

Oda Nobu brushed away his drawings. He stood up and then bowed to Stanley. “Stanley-san,” he said in a low voice, “I must ask you a very important
question. Will you be my personal ninja?”

Stanley couldn’t believe his ears. His favorite movie star was asking him to be his personal ninja? Wait until Arthur heard about this!

“But,” Stanley said, “why me? I don’t know anything about karate or judo or jujitsu or any of that!”

“Remember
ninjutsu,
Stanley-san,” Oda Nobu said. “The art of stealth. Your flatness allows you to go places and do things without being seen. It makes you the perfect ninja.”

Stanley couldn’t believe his luck. Of course he would be Oda Nobu’s personal ninja.
Of course
he would!

Stanley was taken to Oda Nobu’s personal tailor, where he was measured for a ninja uniform. It took the tailor a little time to figure out how to fit a boy only a half inch thick. But in the end the uniform made of glossy black silk fit him perfectly. Stanley had never felt anything so soft.

That night, Oda Nobu and Stanley
rode through the crowded streets of Tokyo in the movie star’s stretch limousine. The bodyguards followed in two other cars. They ate at one of Japan’s most famous restaurants, where everyone, from the waiters to the other customers, smiled adoringly at Oda Nobu
and
Stanley. Even the chef bowed deeply when he delivered a long lacquered board covered with sushi to Oda Nobu’s personal ninja.

If someone had told Stanley just a week before that he would be eating raw fish, and enjoying it, halfway around the world, he would have laughed. He was laughing now, but for a different reason. The food was delicious, even
the seaweed and the smoked eel, and here he was sitting with his all-time favorite movie star!

After dinner, Oda Nobu took Stanley to a karaoke bar. They took turns singing one silly song after another. The crowd burst into wild applause after every one. Stanley drank three sodas that tasted exactly like bubble gum. He
loved
Japan!

Only one thing bothered him. Just why did Oda Nobu want a personal ninja anyway?

He found out the next day.

Oda Nobu took Stanley to an exhibition of famous kites at a big modern art museum. After admiring
the amazing kites—some like ferocious dragons, others like nearly life-sized houses—Oda Nobu stopped to speak to a group of reporters. They spoke in Japanese, and Stanley didn’t understand a word.

But then one of the reporters asked a question and pointed at Stanley, and everyone laughed. Oda Nobu looked at Stanley and shrugged. Then he picked Stanley up and smiled—and tossed him high into the air.

For a moment, Stanley hung there beside the kites on display, caught by the draft of the museum’s air-conditioning. It reminded him of other times he had flown like this—once in the park, with
Arthur skillfully flying him with the other kites, and another time at Mount Rushmore. That time, he had been caught by a gust of wind and flown out dangerously close to Abraham Lincoln’s bushy eyebrows. But Arthur had cleverly thrown him a lasso and guided him back to earth. Stanley had
always felt safe with his brother on the ground below him.

Below him now, the crowd laughed and applauded. But then the air conditioner’s breeze stopped and Stanley plummeted to the hard marble floor of the museum.

Everyone laughed, including Oda Nobu, who looked very proud of himself.

Everyone except Stanley.

Later that day, Oda Nobu took Stanley to the studio where he was making his latest movie. Stanley was thrilled to watch as his hero stood before the movie cameras and pretended to be the most famous samurai of all time.

But something was wrong. Time after time, Oda Nobu stopped the action to complain to a man Stanley guessed was the director. The actor would cover his face, squinting and frowning. The director would shrug, shake his head, and start the scene over again.

The fourth time this happened, Oda Nobu seemed angry. He made the same gestures again. The director shook his head again. Then Oda Nobu pointed to Stanley and said something to the director. The director nodded.

The next thing Stanley knew, he found himself at the top of a long pole. He was stretched out on a frame, his hands and feet held by clips. A man
on the ground held the pole, keeping Stanley between the bright sun and Oda Nobu’s face below. With the sun no longer blazing on Oda Nobu’s face, he was able to finish the scene.

And everyone was happy.

Everyone except Stanley.

That night, Oda Nobu held a big party at his home. “It is in your honor, Stanley-san,” Oda Nobu said. “The most famous
people in Japan are coming to meet the most famous Stanley Lambchop.”

Stanley was pleased. Although he had grown tired of all the attention that had come with being a flattened boy, he thought tonight would be different.

The party was in his honor.

But then, in the middle of the party, some ladies pointed at Stanley and asked Oda Nobu a question. The ladies giggled. Oda Nobu shrugged as if to say, “Why not?” He picked Stanley up off the floor and then expertly folded him into an origami star!

“Hey!” Stanley shouted, into the back of his own knee. “Cut it out! Unfold me!”

Oda Nobu held the Stanley-star high above his head, so that everyone at the party could see it. Then, with one loud snap of his fingers, the star unfurled! And there was Stanley again, crumpled, creased, and very unhappy.

So this was what having a “personal ninja” meant to Oda Nobu! Having the
world’s only flat boy to show off to his adoring fans!

Stanley picked himself up off the floor. “I am supposed to be a ninja,” he said to Oda Nobu. “I am not a party trick!” And he marched off to his bedroom as straight as his creases would allow. He fell asleep trying not to think about how much he wished he were back at home with his family.

The next morning, Oda Nobu knocked softly at the door and then slid it open. He bowed low to Stanley, who was still in bed.

“Stanley-san,” Oda Nobu said, “I am here to apologize most sincerely for my disrespectful behavior yesterday. I
wish to invite you to take a trip with me today. It is my way of asking for your forgiveness.”

Stanley studied Oda Nobu’s face. The actor was not acting now.

“All right,” Stanley said. “When do we leave?”