She slid to the floor, still giggling.
Aurora crouched down beside her, her eyes wide with fear. The sight sent Esti into another round of hysterics. Great, now she was scaring her mom.
Hysteria is caused by severe conflict and emotional excess
—the absurd thought popped into her head. Oh yeah, she had plenty of both.
In the front row, Officer Wilmuth exchanged a glance with his partner. As the white cop got up and walked out of the theater, Esti felt her laughter start all over again. Ha—even the jandam were running away!
“Bazadee,” she heard someone whisper. Crazy. They all thought she was crazy. Tears squeezed out of her eyes, and she helplessly pressed her hands against her ribs. When Rafe showed up a few minutes later—or was it hours?—her head pounded and her stomach muscles ached so badly she could barely move. Through a fog, she watched Rafe charge up to the stage, his dark eyes wide with concern. His hand reached out, touching hers.
As their fingers twined together, the memory of Alan’s last words slammed through her. What if Alan was watching right now, waiting to see how long it took her to replace him? She yanked her hand back, lurching away from Rafe as if she’d been burned.
“Esti?” He stared at her, stunned.
She spun away, unable to meet his eyes.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry,
her thoughts screamed as she rose to her feet and blindly stumbled offstage.
“How now? Who calls?”
Huddled in the wings, Esti watched Danielle walk onto the stage. Relief throbbed down to her toes that Danielle had insisted on taking over Juliet for the closing performance.
“Your mother,” Carmen said, indicating Lucia with a flourish.
When Lucia had asked if Esti wanted the role of Juliet’s mother back, Esti immediately shook her head. She couldn’t play Lady Capulet tonight. Besides, Lucia deserved her full moment in the spotlight.
“Madam, I am here.” Danielle gave them a nod, her pretty face drawn and determined beneath the stage makeup.
Esti studied her in dull admiration. Danielle obviously didn’t feel well, although she insisted her symptoms were under control. When the others tried to tease her, she had responded with a blistering look that made even Carmen back off.
Danielle was brave, Esti thought.
I, on the other hand, am a coward and a freak.
Earlier this afternoon, when she could finally speak, Esti had apologized to everyone in sight, mortified by the amount of trouble she’d caused. All she really wanted to do was throw herself into Rafe’s arms, adding more sap to this awful melodrama in full view of Alan. Instead, she was stiffly polite, repeating “I’m fine, thank you,” until Rafe finally left.
As the audience began laughing at Nurse’s monologue onstage, Esti closed her eyes. She had no idea who Alan was, or why he’d spent so much time with her since she moved to Cariba. She only knew that he had brought her back to life. And now that he was gone, she no longer wanted any of it.
Quietly gathering her things, she crept to the deserted back end of the stage and slipped behind the curtain. She didn’t bother calling for Alan as she navigated the pitch-black passages to the hidden back door; if he wanted to talk, he would already know she was there. But her exit was solitary, joined only by the coqui frogs as she trudged back up Bayrum Hill.
Act Two. Scene Four.
The jandam came to her house the next afternoon. Esti was lying in bed, studying each crack in the ceiling through aching eyes. The largest crack was a giant question mark.
How could she have screwed up so badly? What would it take to get Alan back?
In the far corner she could make out a crouching spider, ready to drop on the pretty seashell Rafe had given her, with a venom far nicer than her current misery.
Rafe would never forgive her. She didn’t blame him.
Directly above her head, two eyes stared down at her, forever unblinking.
What if Alan secretly watched her, even if he never spoke to her again?
And the entire pattern joined together in a ragged spiral, feeding back on itself in an endless, hopeless loop.
What would her dad think, if he could see her now?
When a familiar voice called “inside,” she rolled out of bed and stumbled to her bedroom door to peek into the living room. Officer Wilmuth nodded at Aurora as he walked in the house, followed by the white policeman Esti recognized from the theater. It didn’t surprise her to see them, especially after the new uproar she’d caused by disappearing during the play last night.
“Mrs. Legard,” the white officer said to Aurora. “My name is George Moore. I think you know Officer Wilmuth.”
“Of course.” Aurora sounded exhausted. “Please come in and sit down. How can I help you?”
“We ask Miss Legard some question,” Officer Wilmuth said. “When she miss school today, ’tis a few more rumor in town.”
“Rumors about what?” Aurora’s voice grew thin. “Don’t tell me jumbees.”
Esti leaned against the door frame.
“It may seem unlikely,” Officer Moore said, “but word gets around fast on a small island. A lot of people are frightened, and we need to make sure that nobody, including Esti, is in danger.”
“She’s been sleeping all day.” Aurora glared at Officer Moore for a moment, then sighed. “I am very worried about her. I’ll go wake her up.”
“Do you mind if I ask you a few things first?” He sounded apologetic. “I don’t want to upset your daughter any more than necessary. Was she here when you got home last night?”
As Aurora glanced toward her bedroom, Esti shrank away from the doorway. Once again, she’d caused more trouble.
“She was asleep when I came back from the play. She said she snuck out of the theater when no one was looking because she felt sick.” Aurora gave the officers a guilty look. “She even left a message on my cell phone, but I didn’t notice it until after I panicked.”
Although Officer Wilmuth gave a snort of disgust, George Moore’s expression remained calm. “And what exactly did she tell you about the
previous
night?”
Aurora’s voice grew even more helpless. “She said she went back to the theater after the cast party and fell asleep backstage.”
Officer Wilmuth wrote something in a small notebook. “’Tis where Ma Harris had find Esti, also.”
Esti’s eyes widened. Ma Harris hadn’t found her backstage; she’d found her in the tiny basement room.
“We searched the building a number of times yesterday morning,” Officer Moore said gently, “and I don’t believe Esti was there.”
Aurora sighed. “I’m pretty sure Esti hasn’t told me everything. She keeps saying she just wants to sleep.”
Officer Wilmuth’s face grew stony. “I have ask Rodney Solomon bring his son to talk to us. They’s on they way jus’ now.”
“Rafe?” Aurora frowned. “Why?”
Esti winced at the thought of facing Rafe after the way she’d acted yesterday.
“Although Rafe insists he did nothing wrong,” Officer Moore said gently, “we’ve found some discrepancies. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s gotten himself in trouble because of a girl.”
Esti grew rigid. They were blaming
Rafe?
“Esti’s classmates said they were all at a cast party the night before last. Esti left with Rafe, and he was the last one seen with her before she disappeared. Do you know if he really brought her home after the party?”
“I can’t say for sure,” Aurora said in a helpless voice. “She’s a good girl and has never needed a curfew, so I fell asleep without worrying about her. I didn’t find out until yesterday morning that her bed hadn’t been slept in. That’s when I called Rodney.”
“Rafe told us he brought her straight home,” Officer Moore said, “but he may not be telling the truth. Does Esti have a boyfriend on Cariba?”
Esti caught her breath.
“No,” Aurora said slowly. “She’s never had a boyfriend. I think boys are intimidated by her.”
“I could believe that.” Esti heard a wry smile in Officer Moore’s voice. “Her friends also say she hasn’t been seeing anyone, so we’re confident that part is true. But Rafe insisted she has a boyfriend on Cariba who’s been threatening her. He got very angry when Officer Wilmuth accused him of lying.”
Esti clutched the doorjamb, trying to stay calm. Hadn’t Carmen told her that Rafe once attacked a cop?
“You had see how she react to Rafe when he show up yesterday,” Officer Wilmuth said grimly. “I think ’tis only one boy on Cariba threaten she. It don’t take Rafe no time to stir thing up when he come home. He gotta realize someday he can’t take advantage of girl them, run Cariba any way he want. I think he go to jail this time.”
Esti sagged in horror. Rafe had been wonderful to her. He hadn’t told the jandam any lies; Esti was the one lying.
“Esti didn’t want anything to do with Rafe yesterday,” Aurora said with a skeptical look at Officer Wilmuth, “but I didn’t get the feeling she was afraid of him. He was a good friend when we knew him in Los Angeles. I’d better wake her up now, before he gets here.”
Esti darted back to her bed, burrowing under the covers as Aurora opened her door.
“Esti,” Aurora said softly. “Are you awake?”
Esti grunted, trying to slow her breathing.
“Sweetie, the police are here. Are you up for a few questions about yesterday?”
“Sure,” Esti managed. She turned to Aurora, blinking and squinting as if she had just awakened. “Let me get some clothes on.”
The policemen both stood as she came out of her room a few minutes later. They nodded politely at her, and she nodded back, pasting a tired look on her face. Her mind raced with conflicting ideas about what to say.
“Miss Legard, how are you feeling?”
“Much better, thank you.” Esti blinked at Officer Moore, and he returned a cautious smile.
“I’ve almost recovered from Juliet,” she said. “It took me longer than I thought it would.” She sat on the edge of the couch beside her mom. “Did Aurora tell you how my dad would go into shock after his best performances too? When you get so deeply into a character, sometimes the character doesn’t want to let you take over again. I’m so sorry for the worry I’ve caused.”
Uncertain silence followed her words. “Esti,” Aurora began.
“Inside.” As Rodney Solomon’s voice interrupted Aurora, Esti became exquisitely aware of everyone’s eyes on her face. They were waiting for some reaction, seeking proof that they were right about Rafe. She covered her mouth, faking a drawn-out yawn.
“Come,” Officer Wilmuth commanded.
Esti felt tension crackling in the air before she even swung around to face the front door. Officer Wilmuth radiated hostility as Rafe walked in, and Rodney gave Esti a stern look of appraisal. Rafe didn’t even glance at her, his face hard and closed.
I think he go to jail this time.
She had no choice. She wouldn’t let Rafe take the blame for the insanity he’d found when he came back into her life.
“Rafe,” she said, feigning surprise. “I’m glad you’re here. And I’m sorry about yesterday.”
She walked across the room with a not-so-feigned expression of guilt. The hostility in the room warped into disbelief as she threw her arms around Rafe’s neck and pressed her cheek into his rigid chest. “You’ve been great,” she said. “Thanks for all your help. I don’t deserve it at all.”
She
didn’t
deserve any of it. She was stuck in a single frame of a bad movie, fumbling desperately for excuses as the other characters watched in eternal rigidity. No one believed a thing she said, not even Rafe.
Shoving thoughts of Alan as far away as she could, she stretched up on her tiptoes, looking into Rafe’s cold brown eyes as she touched her lips to his.
My second kiss,
she thought briefly,
even more absurd than my first
. When the ice sculpture of Rafe’s body finally gave a tiny hint of thawing, she took his hand and dragged him to the couch. She didn’t look up at him as he followed her without a word.
“My mom said you had some questions for me,” she said into the silence, drawing Rafe’s stiff arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him and turned to meet Officer Wilmuth’s eyes. Rodney was the first to break the tension, a flash of amusement crossing his face as he walked across the room to sit on a kitchen chair.
“Yeah, miss,” Officer Wilmuth said, his face impassive as he glanced at Rafe. “We need to know what happen to you yesterday. You got a boyfriend have threaten you?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” As Rafe grew rigid once more, she tilted her head back to give him a quick smile. “Not unless Rafe wants to take me out tonight.”
Rodney stifled a sudden coughing fit behind his fist.
“Why you act yesterday like Rafe is some badjohn trying to hurt you?” Officer Wilmuth’s eyes narrowed.
“I was confused,” Esti said, searching for the right words. “I was . . . I wasn’t sure where I was, and . . .”
“Was you kidnap?”