The Kallanon Scales (75 page)

“Evil you
were, but in your long sojourn with us you achieved great good,
more than you will now be aware of. I am certain the paradox irked
you no end, but for that we revere you and will hold you a part of
our tale also, so that our children will know you. You were a
mighty force. Rest in peace, old friend.”

It was
Torrullin’s turn.

“Our time was
brief, but we knew each other well. I thank you for speaking to me,
for making yourself a part of me, and know that you will be missed.
We will miss you for the longevity you represented to our people,
for wakening the true history of the Valleur, for the symbol of
leadership you became, for the drama, for your feats in battle and
much more. You were an adversary, yes, but perhaps an old friend as
well.” Torrullin smiled and a burden lifted. “I shall grieve,
Neolone. I would say to you walk in the Light, but I know you would
snort derisively, therefore just walk. You are free.”

“Thank you,”
Queen Abdiah said. “Neolone Dragon, we salute you and send you on
your way.” She gestured, lifting the cage and lowering it into
position. Another positioned the lid.

The snow clad
form vanished from view forever.

Not ever from
memory.

Quickly then,
the turf was replaced and Abdiah began to murmur a sealing.
Neolone’s remains would be preserved and nobody would know where he
lay.

It was the
Kallanon way.

Only Vannis
and Torrullin remained after a while, but there was nothing to see.
Already the green carpet was white and barely distinguishable from
the thicker pile around it.

“I am glad you
were here, Vannis.”

“I had to
come. Let us go up.”

“I need a few
minutes alone.”

Vannis nodded,
squeezed his grandson’s shoulder, and left him there.

“Torrullin.”

Her voice was
gentle. She came towards him, part of the snowy landscape.

“Saska? Am I
dreaming?”

“Am I that
unreal?”

A Kallanon
lamp burned and he could barely discern her features. Her beauty
was dreamlike after the horrors of recent times.

“
I
feel
unreal,” he murmured. His heart tripped and he knew then he was
aware.

She halted
paces from him. Her extraordinary eyes flashed green fire and her
silky blue hair created an angelic halo. It was unbound and hung
over her left shoulder. Her hands were loosely entwined and she
stood at ease. She wore a pale silver robe and the long train
swirled in the snow. Her nails were long and blue, and she was
barefoot. She was a vision and he knew not what to say.

“Tongue-tied,
my husband?”

It smacked him
in the gut, hurt, and he wanted to hold her, and dared not
approach.

“You called,
Torrullin.”

“Why did you
wait?”

“I am the Lady
of Life, Enchanter. I came after you dealt with death. The Waiting
One will arise again. He was redeemed a long time ago, but can only
now enjoy the fruits thereof.” She beckoned behind her. The sight
of her graceful neck set him a-shiver. “Come.”

Teighlar
walked into the small circle of light, and he was again the
ethereal Emperor met the first night in Grinwallin.

“Torrullin,
that Dragon did me a service! In death, I was free and I knew my
redemption was granted. All my burdens lifted and I knew life!
Strange, isn’t it? In death, I find life. I almost do not want to
return.”

“You are still
dead?”

“No! Well,
physically, yes, but I am alive!”

Torrullin
rubbed his eyes. “A bona fide ghost. What more will this day
bring?”

Saska laughed
and spoke to Teighlar. “Please leave us a while, Emperor.”

“As you wish,
my Lady,” Teighlar murmured and vanished into the snowscape, but
not before winking at Torrullin.

“He is happy,”
Torrullin said.

“Do not mourn
longer. He deserves this. What he did was done with love, and now
he will have his second chance.”

“Senlu and
Valleur, can that work?”

“He desires
Grinwallin and the land adjacent. No Valleur lives here; I think
you two can work a solution.” Saska smiled and came closer, and he
smelled her perfume. “I am still Saska, and I have not stopped
loving you.” She halted before him, inches away. “Are you afraid to
touch me?”

He retreated.
“Yes.”

“Why?”

He shook his
head and did not answer.

“You cannot
forgive me.”

“I cannot
forgive myself.”

Saska bit her
lip. “We shall leave the issue of us to another time. You seem
drained, my love.”

“I am beyond
that point now, yes.”

She laid a
hand against his cheek. “I wish you could sleep now and worry over
tomorrow, tomorrow.”

Briefly, he
allowed her warmth to seep into his coldness before moving aside.
“Why?”

“Why am I the
Lady? Do you want my tale now?” She was solemn and neutral.

“I do.”

She inclined
her head. “Let us go where it is dry.” She walked serenely towards
the great stairs.

He lifted the
lamp from the ground and followed. This way he need not create
light, and there would be no signature. She led the way, an angel
of the snow, into the city and went on, staying always ahead.

He allowed her
the space.

She halted in
a square on the second tier, veered left into a dark doorway, and
he followed. Was it his imagination or were the walls almost whole,
as if Grinwallin repaired herself? She took them into a tumbledown
suite of rooms. As his lamp shed light, large gaping windows
accused, and old masonry lay in haphazard piles. Natural debris
crackled underfoot and dense spider webs swayed drunkenly from the
patchwork ceiling.

Despite
appearances, she chose well. Although snow formed white sills, it
was dry. She led him into an internal room where the lack of
windows separated them from the biting wind.

He propped the
lamp between fallen masonry and sat on a dirty lintel near it.
Resting elbows on knees, he waited for her to speak.

Saska paced
and her robe was soon soiled, her feet dirty. His breath caught at
this evidence of vulnerability and, hearing it, she paused.

“Torrullin.”

Her pleading
tone caused him to lift his eyes. Their gazes held, speaking
volumes, and then he looked away.

“Speak,
Saska.”

She dragged a
grimy stone bench closer to the light. It did not occur to him it
was heavy and she used more than strength to do so. He did not
realise she couched the signature, like him wanting no one to find
them.

She sat,
leaned forward chin in palm. “After leaving Valaris I went to Pilan
to recoup, moving from village to hamlet to tree city. It was
liberating, and I came to realise I was my own victim. I allowed my
fear of your sons to cloud my perceptions. I am laying no blame
here. It happened and we know nothing occurs in a vacuum. This
testing was meant for me, for it led to my path. You know how I
felt, without purpose, without calling. There I was, surrounded by
the powerful of the universe, a decoration. I was tested and
tested, and did not see it until I left.”

She pushed her
hair back. “Abandoning you was hard. In turn, I felt abandoned. On
Pilan I realised I was as much to blame and also understood that
blame was self-destructive. When I finally accepted that, I was
ready to leave. Song and dance isn’t fulfilment. I needed more. I
visited worlds I suspected were once Valleur, many worlds, never
staying long, but a pattern emerged. Those worlds not conquered by
humans were dead and sterile, as if the Valleur deliberately
rendered them useless to the future. Yes, I see guilt in you.”

Saska offered a small shrug. “The Valleur were selfish, but I
also knew it is no longer so. I wished to find the means to
re-awake life and that became an all-consuming desire. By making
them live I would return to the Valleur their pride. I would make
you proud. I again made you the centre of my being - very
self-destructive. I needed to love myself, and care what
I
thought. I wanted to
make a difference, not for gain or recognition, but because it felt
right. It didn’t matter if no one knew what I did. It didn’t
matter, after a while, if
you
ever knew.” She drew breath and let it out
slowly.

“I met an old
woman on one of those worlds and she was sad. She said life was a
thing taken for granted. Sentience expects it to renew endlessly.
Did beings not realise that eventually life surrendered? Her task
was to bring it back, and that was when I knew she was the Lady of
Life. Life became a concept that demanded recognition and I wanted
to appreciate it in all its guises. Time stood still then, for in
recognising my burning desire to restore the balances to dead
Valleur worlds, she also recognised her successor, and began to
teach me. We spent an extraordinarily long time together, far
beyond the time you have had since I left. The day came when she
asked me to show her what I had learned, and I did.”

A smile.
“Torrullin, imagine my joy when new grass flooded the plains! Water
burbled out from under scorched land! Little saplings pushed their
way up, hardy and wholesome, dead seas teemed with life and birds
chirped their way from new shells! Can you comprehend what it
meant, how it changed everything? For the first time in my life, I
was happy. I know sadness may come, but it can never sunder the
joy, never.” Saska wiped her face, the tears there. “The Lady
peacefully surrendered then. I knew the mantle was mine,
unreservedly passed and accepted. I was the new Lady.”

Torrullin
watched the play of emotions on her expressive face. She found her
purpose. There was no doubt.

“I am immortal
and that means the mantle could be mine for eternity if I wish it.
I do not wish it. Sometime in the future when sadness becomes too
great a burden, another woman will find me and I shall know her and
her new joy. The Lady of Life is a cycle, Torrullin, and thus,
always, Life has a chance.” She paused and her gaze lingered on his
face.

He understood
and was glad for her, but he knew what it meant. Often her destiny
would take her away and the pain and helplessness she would
sometimes experience could suffocate what they had as a man and a
woman. The Lady of Life was a lonely choice. How long would they
survive each other now?

“Why am I
here? I knew nothing of happenings on Valaris, nothing of this war,
yet felt called to the Tennet system. I discovered not one of these
worlds required my aid. Some life is dubious here, but it lives,
and the barrenness in places is a natural state. When I saw that
war had come I assumed I was to succour the land in the aftermath.
It changed when Margus reared his head, for where he is, you are. I
was deeply shocked he survived you. I knew what his death did to
you, and understood what his living would do to you now. I was
there when you never spoke of it, never could say his name, and had
nightmares about him. I was in quandary. He is death, not of the
kind that deserves resurrecting, and I wanted to kill him before he
could get to you.”

He
blinked.

“This Dragon
you recently sundered was evil, but he could be controlled. Margus
is an evil that may be slower, but is insidious and will never be
controlled. He is death to all light and must be stopped. I have
heard this war was a battle for the Light - it was not. The battle
is you, my love, and you cannot win with Margus dogging you.”

She drew her
courage together. “I was drawn to Tennet to tell you this. You may
kill and murder whoever is deliberately and inadvertently in your
way when you go after him. You are granted unreserved carte blanche
to do whatever is necessary. I shall be at your side, my love, and
I shall return life where it was innocent, where a second chance
may be given, and where I must do so to restore the balance.”

Torrullin was
ashen. “My god, Saska, it is a view of utter hell!” He jerked to
his feet, so pale she thought he would fall down. “You are telling
me you advocate death in whatever shape? You, the Lady of Life?
That goes against all truth!”

“Except one,
Torrullin,” she said, standing also. “And this is the one where
many die so more may live. Do you think Margus will stop to
consider the innocent? You cannot either if you hope to be
victorious. You must not tie your hands. That is why I am here.
This is my ultimate destiny. Life and Light, and somehow we can see
it done.”

“And us,
Saska? How do we survive? Will I not hate you for granting me this
cursed freedom? Even if he remains dormant, I shall be
Destroyer!”

“The Light is
strong within you, my love, for you to fight this so hard.”

That halted
him.

“It is your
choice, Torrullin. If you accept you do so knowing all is not
lost.”

“I will be
lost.”

Saska closed her eyes briefly. “And perhaps I shall be.
Margus had years to prepare this revenge, more years than we can
count, and this time he wants only you. He will stop at
nothing
.” Her hands
clasped together and pressed against her chest.

“And us?”

“There would
be no us if Margus wins.”

“There may be
no us if I win.”

“I know.” She stepped closer. “He prepares to strike here. He
must not hurt Grinwallin. There are many reasons for this, but
mostly because this glorious city will arise and the Senlu return.
Teighlar will sit wisely on his throne in a new era. It is
happening outside and when the Emperor returns to his body the
process will accelerate. We must
force
Margus off Atrudis. We leave
here tonight.”