The Knight Behind the Pillar (39 page)

             
“Someone might think twice about attacking Arthur if there is no point to do so.”

             
That was a brilliant plan, if everyone was willing to believe magic truly existed unlike me.  Religion was complicated enough alone without stories of water spirits, little people and monsters being true.  Besides there has to be a large number of people out there who would have a go at harming Arthur just to see if the magic was real!

             
“And what if a demonstration is needed?”  I asked.

             
“One would be provided if necessary, but that appears to not now be needed.”

             
“More lies.”  I stated.

             
“Not of my making, a decision of others.”

             
Instead of just pushing this, I changed tactic and asked, “Arthur agreed to this?  He wouldn’t lie and carry a fake scabbard and declare it as true or as magic.  He took an oath only recently.”

             
I was a hypocrite at once given my lies, but this was not about me.

             
Merlin looked to consider that I had made a fair point for the first time in all our talks.  “With objections at first.” He admitted nodding.  “Then he was pursued after the meeting yesterday that it would serve the wider good and save lives, protect others.  If people think he is unbeatable, there will be those who will be less willing to fight a pointless fight and not kill others to get to him.  The very idea will inspire others to join him.”

             
“Yet we have an army heading this way.” I pointed out opportunistically. 

             
I was being sarcastic, but just because there were very few options than to agree with the plan, yet it did not mean I had to accept all Merlin’s so called wisdom. 

             
At my words he looked a little cross and any warmth gained during our conversation disappeared.  “Narrow mindedness cannot often be cured,” He grumbled to himself.  “This is only one battle, there will be many challenges ahead and not everything is about now.”

             
This was about that time now I knew I was not going to gain any more sense from him.  We walked a little more, but clearly the conversation was at its end. 

             
“Ector’s armour is one of those challenges for me today and now I should get back to it.” I said making my excuses for an exit and before I became more confused and frustrated with the man. 

             
Dealing with Merlin was a like diving in the river.  You could only stay under the water for so long without air.  As for Ector’s armour it was the truth.  Kay had decided to provide me with a very long list of jobs since gaining the impression that I was suddenly interested in what Merlin did.  It seemed that I was no longer his squire but the errand boy for his whole army.  I had explained my earlier meeting with Merlin by saying because I mistrusted him so much I attempted to befriend him to learn more about what he was up to and what he wanted with Arthur.  I convinced myself that it was a clever lie disguised as the truth.  Kay simply said in reply he could think of better things for me to do and did so. 

             
“I will not hold you from it.” Answered Merlin. 

             
He appeared to easily accept I had resolved to end our discussion and with a nod of his head said no more leaving me standing in the yard.  My glaze fell on supplies gathered and being stored around me as preparations were already being made for the coming battle.  If he knew for certain I had stolen from Arthur or not, soon it may not matter either way.

Chapter 7:  82 Minutes rest

              A few days on I disobeyed my own rule again.  I knew it would happen as it was unavoidable as I was serving his brother and meant to train with him.  Despite waiting each afternoon, Arthur never arrived and I trained alone.  I was supposed to be a friend, but since our last meeting, my last act of betrayal, I needed the space and time.  Avoiding him also seemed to be the only time I keep away from trouble or at least outrun it for a while.

             
This time I was not seeking Arthur out, but I did not quietly choose to go another direction unnoticed either.  Arthur was standing in Kay’s room, as if he was waiting for someone.  I saw him through the open doorway and he was not looking my way.  I could have steered clear of him, but I was being a poor friend if I did.  My resistance to speak with him was buried in the fact so much had changed and I needed a moment.  I needed that undefined period of time, to cope with it all as I could not cope with it all at once.  I needed days, a few weeks would be better!  I knew my minuscule problems were nothing compared with Arthur’s with an army on its way to kill him. 

             
Then I realised, these thoughts were nonsense and it was time to be honest with myself.  As Arthur had said when he spoke to me last, he wanted the truth.  Well the truth was guilt and in second place was fear.  I had no problem with what had happened except for my continuous guilt that I was a thief.  I could hardly sleep anymore with the burden of doubt that I might be wrong to have taken the scabbard, but then I knew I have helped.  Then when I did sleep I had his face staring at me, disapproving and full of anger.  Not always Arthur’s face, my father’s.  That was the fear and I knew right down to the holes in my boots that he was on his way. 

             
As for Arthur now waiting in the room, I knew we needed to speak or at least I did.  I armed myself with a smile before I walked in.  At the last moment I changed my mind remembering his last words at our last meeting and my place.  I decided Tor the fool was not needed this time, perhaps I had even outgrown him and I dropped the smile.  Certainly with a fight with Lot ahead a smile was not needed and this was another fear I could not yet face.  My first real war was on its way and at once I no longer felt so young.

             
Childhood vanished, I stepped towards the room.  “Your highness.” I spoke formally with a bow of the head.

             
Arthur looked cross at once.

             
“Why the ceremony?  There’s no one around.” He questioned concerned, but then draw his own conclusion quickly and anger touched his voice again. “Oh, you’re annoyed at me still I see.  Don’t be daft.”

             
He was right I was angry at him, at least a little.  I was not sure how you can be angry and thankful that he had turned up and changed my life so much in just a few days without meaning to, but I was.  Also with my father coming old feelings got mixed with new and I just wanted to take it out on someone other than just having myself to punish.  Arthur thought he had nothing and yet forgot others had far less and I resented that!  When he did get the sword back he had not bothered to say sorry.  Arthur stepped away and my eyes dropped to the sword and new scabbard hanging from his belt. 

             
“Will you be training today?” I asked, again just as some servant would address his lord. 

             
I knew I was provoking him, but could not help myself.  When rage fills you up you cannot always be sure of what you want.

             
It worked, if it was my intention, and his face reddened rapidly.  “If you want to be like that you can get out.” Arthur dismissed.  I simply turned to leave as ordered, but Arthur stopped me. “No wait.”  He almost pleaded.

             
“Oh?” I answered.

             
“I’ve been meaning to find you.”  He admitted sheepishly.

             
“I’m sorry your highness for not being available.” I said and continued to be evasive.

             
Arthur screwed his face up and I noticed his hands did the same in frustration with me. “Tor don’t be an idiot, I have enough going on without you being a, an idiot.”  He snapped.

             
I dropped my shoulders and no longer stood to attention.  Time to consider if it was time to be his equal again. 

             
“No you’ve been busy being the king of nothing.” I answered bluntly and certainly in such a tone that would have me in the stocks or hanging with any other past king.

             
Looking as if he deserved what I said he agreed.  “I had a lot on my mind of late and it wasn’t actually all aimed at you.  Can’t I be forgiven a moment of being fed up!” Arthur asked.  “And you’re upset over that, still upset over it?”

             
“Not entirely,” I grudgingly admitted, but did not say more as instead I saw his point.  “Truth is I’m surprised you haven’t snapped at more people.”

             
“I have you know, course I have, but mostly at my brother and father when no one else is around.”

             
There was an awkward pause as Arthur wasn’t sure what more say and I was again reminded of my own father on his way. 

             
Then I offered a smile and decided to end my self-pity.  “Do you want to get out of here?” I asked.

“And go where, down another servant stairway you have hidden somewhere?”
“No just to forget being a king, just for an hour or so and get out and away from it all.”

             
After a short pause, he nodded. 

             
Just escaping the gloom of the fort was like a heavy weight lifting from our shoulders.  I lead Arthur up to my favourite outcrop where we could just watch the world, instead of having to be an active part of it.  Sadly from our retreat we could see yet another family heading west and my attempts to gain any perceptive of the problems of our world and Arthur’s life were fraught from the start.  Their possessions all tied to a rough looking old pony were being lead by a middle aged man, his wife and several children walking behind.  I caught Arthur staring their way and I knew what he was thinking.  They were leaving their home and lives due to his decision and they were the actual result of his new authority before him.  He did not need a magic sword to have real power to affect lives.  I wondered too if he might be doubting his belief that people would stay and fight.  I would be if it were me. 

             
Yet if people were leaving then perhaps so were the stories of the king with the magic sword and the scabbard as Merlin intended.  These tales might reach Lot and his men, but I doubted so and doubted it would make a difference.

             
“That’s thanks to me.” Arthur confirmed and continued to watch the family travel out of sight. 

             
“Yes and they’re not the only ones leaving due to you.” I agreed plainly. 

             
Arthur paused to take a second look at me and what I had just said.  “Thanks for the support.” He answered dryly.

             
“You’re welcome,” I said.  When I had caused him enough annoyance by failing to provide expected aid and his eyes finally pulled away from the family I added, “But it’s not a bad thing.”

             
“Oh?”

             
“Your decision gave them a choice, you could have forced them to stay and fight.” I explained positively. 

             
“Instead I let them go and weaken our defence.” He answered pessimistically.

             
“Perhaps, but most people will want fight to keep what you offer.”

             
“Don’t you remember, that’s not much!”

             
“Freedom of choice!” I stated firmly.  “That’s a fair bit to offer and to everyone no matter who they are.  Alright a few will go, some with young families certainly; I mean who can blame them.  Most will fight for the freedom of choice.”

             
“You sound like Merlin.” Arthur observed in thought.

             
I instantly screwed up my nose as if there was a bad smell.  “Oh thanks for that, I do hope not.”

             
“You might not like him, but I do and he makes sense.” Arthur stated. 

             
I answered with silence and looked away as I had my full of Merlin to last a lifetime.  We continued to enjoy the sun for a while.  Conversation about Merlin died a natural death in the time. 

             
I was amazed we had managed to escape without guards to watch over Arthur, but with everyone so busy strengthening the gates, preparing for the worst our leaving did not draw any real attention.  Arthur was recognised now by the guards enough for them to bow their heads and not question his determined stride, or maybe they assumed we were off to train.  Only Bedivere did see us leave the town, but he just nodded and passed by.

             
Such thoughts forced a question and I turned back to Arthur.  “Do you wish you had runaway now?”

             
“No.” Arthur said and was absolute. “I would always be running from who I am.  I got to do this.  It’s just taken a few days to work out how, but I think I know now.  You’re not looking to run are you?”