The Knight Behind the Pillar (48 page)

             
I briefly went back to seeing Alain on the battlefield in my thoughts.  He was a man there, fresh from battle and exposed to the lost of another person he might have actually strongly cared about.  Not that he would have admitted it in life, Morvid’s life.  Just back there he was almost human for a second compared to the man I thought he was.  Maybe Arthur knew him better, could see or had seen more under the mask than I.  Yet to give up your land was unheard of and to do so willingly was incredible.  It just seemed unbelievable even if he was the most generous and unselfish person in the world.  To Arthur I could only shrug my indifference as I was just tired of it all again. 

             
“Something instead of nothing then.” I commented, slightly changing the subject away from Alain and back to Arthur’s next plan.

             
“Yes, I can be king of something,” Arthur said understanding me, “Or something like that.  And I suppose the new place can’t be much worse than here now.”

             
“What, after you have now finished with it and burnt most of it down yourself!” I joked. 

             
I realised I joked!  It felt good as a familiar part of me had somehow surfaced.  And as for something instead of nothing, I liked the idea of an alternative to the nothing I felt and I knew at once I needed it, needed that good reason.

             
“Maybe,” Arthur smiled.  “Guess it’ll be an adventure.”

             
I was still a little guarded, guilt still hung on to the little hope I could express.  “Sounds good.” I agreed thoughtfully.

             
Arthur looked around and stepped up towards the open wall again. “I hope so, hope it’s worth all of this….”

             
“Sacrifice.” I suggested quickly.

             
“I’ll make sure it’s worth it all.” Arthur said sincerely looking out the gap and across the fort, his eyes blinking in the sunlight.  “But I better go now or be missed.  I can see them waiting in the courtyard below already.”

             
“What do they need you for?  You’re only the King after all.” I grinned, but expected no reaction.

             
“You coming?”  Arthur asked stepping down from the opening.

             
“If I have a choice then no.” I said and hoped. 

             
“You know you are going to have to face him one day.” Said Arthur, proving once again he had a talent for knowing people as he spoke of my father.

             
I sighed and dropped my shoulders. “Not today.” I said solemnly and dismissed the idea. 

             
Arthur just nodded.  “Then I’ll find you later, I doubt we have long before we all need to leave.” He said and I thought of Clegis at once and saying goodbye to him.

             
He made it to the door when I called after him.  “Art.  Where is this new stronghold, this new place, is it far?”

             
“To the south, near a river called Cam.  He called it Camelot.”

             
“Never heard of it.” I admitted.

             
“Nor me.”  He replied with a shake of his head.

             
“Then we fight for Camelot.”

             
Arthur half smiled and I watched it fade and disappear as he left.  I let out a deep breath and returned to a large pile of masonry to sit on. 

             
I had pursued a dream all my life only to realise it was a dream.  The truth of what a knight was now so very different.  Not as noble as I thought and certainly not as easy.  Did I still want it to be a knight?  More than not, but that was just at the moment and the odds kept changing each second.  What I knew was I was just worn-out from thinking.

             
While Kay had joked about knighthood, perhaps I should consider it was a test and it proved I was not yet ready or prepared.  I knew I was not yet worthy, I may have fought, but to account for my comforts of a hayloft, my doubt and especially the missing scabbard I would need to prove myself far more.  Prove myself for Arthur’s new court. 

             
There was a cheer, followed by more chapping and cheering and I stood up to look over the edge and down to the court yard.  Arthur was being surrounded by his family, guards, knights and people from the town all eager to greet him.  They cerebrated his victory, applauded and accepted their new king of something.  That something was not some land or wealth.  Humbly he walked slowly through them all and accepted their warmth.

             
Minutes passed before I forced myself outside and away from watching the people truly welcome their new king.  I intended to seek out Clegis, fulfil my promise and say goodbye, but before I made it there I saw Merlin standing in the shadows at the end of the hallway.  Something had changed between us that I did not like to admit and still I did not trust him.  Only there was a change.  I slowly half bowed my head and also looked down to the ground as I did so.  It was a gesture of thanks of some sort.  Looking up again I saw his expression altered to appear more thoughtful, before he turned and walked away without a word.  With a smile I rolled my eyes after him and wondered what real plan he had for Arthur and this new dream of Camelot.  I took a step and it dawned on me why I wanted to help Arthur.  I believed in him and for a moment the confining walls of this old fort or at least those that remained seemed a little less solid.

The End.