The Knight Of The Rose (48 page)

your broken leg—” he touched my right thigh; “was sitting gently over the other one—your body

turned slightly. Nothing was showing, baby, oka y? No one saw anything, and I had you covered

with my jacket before anyone else came.”

Tears of relief overflowed and rolled down my cheeks. Mike started to wipe them away, but

gave up in vain when they kept flowing.

“You’re so silly, Ara. All this time, you thought I found you—exposed.” He shook his head

and smiled. Then, he nodded once as grave ser iousness masked his eyes. “There is one thing

though. I did check you. I...there was so much blood,” he covered his chin with his palm, “—when I

saw it coming from between your legs, I thought that he’d…I thought he might have cut you there.

But he didn’t—it was coming from the top of your leg.” He stopped and turned his head away for a

second, wincing. “You don’t know what I went through while the doctors were examining you—to

make sure he hadn’t...” he swallowed hard, “raped you.”

I touched his arm, wishing I could have been there to comfort him through that.

“I cried when they told me,” he said, cupping his hand over mine. “When they said you were

untouched, I just cried. Baby, it was so dark in that field—without a torch, I might not’ve seen you

at all. And when I found you, I noticed only one small flicker of pale, blood-covered skin, and I ran,

faster than I’ve ever run before.”

In my mind, I could see Mike in the field. I could see him with his torch, shining it on my

body, and then running, unable to speak, unable to breathe as he bolted acr oss the gras s. He

would’ve fallen to his knees beside me and checked every inch my body for injuries before lifting

me into his arms.

“All we’d come across so far was—” he paus ed and lowered his voi ce, “was your bra. I

can’t tell you what went through my mind when I found it.”

I felt my cheeks flush.

Mike covered his mouth. “Oh, God, baby, the things I imagined he might’ve done to you

while I wasn’t there to protect you. I felt so helpless, I—I couldn’t walk properly; every step I took

was like my legs were carrying the weight of a train. But I kept going, just to find you—to hold you

and make you safe again.

“If you could only feel what I f elt when I saw you there. I wasn’t ashamed or disgusted like

you seem to think, princess—I was
overjoyed
. Had it not been for the blood and the bones that stuck

out from your body, I’d have thought, from the way you were laying, so peaceful and so beautiful,

that you’d been placed that way. I promise you, no one saw y our body—except for Emily; she was

right beside me the whole time.” When he looked back unexpectedly at my eyes, I nearly jumped

out of my skin; Mike’s eyes became soft and rou nd as one corner of his lip turned up, though the

smile didn’t fill his eyes. “I covered you with my jacket,” he continued, “a nd told Emily to look

away while I checked to see where the blood was coming from.” He pressed his lips together and

sighed. “You are my beautiful, precious girl, Ara. I know you didn’t want me to see you like t hat,

but I never looked at anything in that way. I was just so happy to find you still breathing. All I saw

was the girl I’m in love with—and the only memory I’ve taken with me from that night is the way

you looked up suddenly, with panic behi nd your eyes, and then smiled when you saw
me
.”

He squeezed my hand and smiled. “You closed your eyes then, and fell into my chest, despite all

your broken bones. But, you didn’t open them again—not for three months.”

An audible sob left my lips, and Mike gathered me into his chest, tight er than ever before.

The tears came for the shame, but also for relief; Jason didn’t do as he threatened. It made me

nauseated though—to feel gratitude toward him for that—toward Jason. What kind of sick, twisted

being am I?

The sick feeling welled up into a circle of anger within me. My fists clutched behind Mike’s

back, and I closed my eyes ti ght. One day, I don’t know when, but one day, I will make Jason pay

for what he did to me.

“I wish you’d just talked t o me before now, baby. If that’s what’s been bothering you, I

could’ve put your mind at ease
weeks
ago.” He leaned out from our embrace and looked down at my

lips, then my eyes, stroking my hair of f my brow. “Is that why you won’t see Emily? Because, you

know, she’s been hysterical over this—she needs to see you—she blames herself, Ara, fo r not

chasing after you when she saw you walk away with that man.”

“Really?” I asked in a soft whimper.

“Yes. She cries every ti me I see her, and t here’s nothing I can do to console her. Will you

please just see her? She loves you, just the same as we all do.”

“But—she saw, Mike. I—I can’t help how I feel.”

“Oh, baby. Please don’t be like that. Emily’s your friend—and she’s a girl. I’m sure she’s

seen it all before.”

“That’s not the point.”

“I know. But I’m just trying to get you understand how little any of that means when, in the

greater scheme of things, we thought we’d find you dead—or much,
much
worse.”

I wedged the tongue of stubbornness into my cheek and shook my head.

“Ara. Emily’s not to blame. You can’t hide from this, and you won’t make your self feel

better by punishing her.”

“Oh, for God’s sake! Fine. I’ll see her.”

Mike let out a quick huff of relief. “Really?”

“Yes. If you shut up.”

“Shutting up.” He kissed my lips, scrunching my cheeks be tween his hands. “I’m gonna go

call her. Okay?”

I nodded and fell back against my pillows as he backed away and closed the door. It only

felt like ten minutes passed before Sam popped his head around the corner and said, “Emily’s here.”

I put my book down and pressed my hands into the mattress until I was sitting up properly.

“Send her in.”

“You sure, sis?” Sam asked, slightly closing himself in the room with me. “Because I know

Mike kinda pushed you into this.”

I smiled at Sam. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

He nodded, then signalled into the cor ridor. Emily, with her hands clasped in front of her,

walked very slowly into my room, and smiled.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hi.” As soon as the words left her lips, she spun around to cl ose my door, then just stood

there, with her head rested against it.

“Em?”

“I’m okay.” She nodded and exhaled.

“What’s wrong?”

“I. I have rules. Things I’m not allowed to say, but—”

I waited, allowing her to pull herself together.

“I—I just don’t know
what
to say. I’m so...so sorry.” She turned to face me then, and tears

rained over her crossed arms, falling past her elbows to the carpet. “It’s my fault. I should have—”

“Em. Don’t. okay.” I held a hand up and closed my eyes. “Just don’t. Say. Anything about

it.”

After a moment, she sighed. “Okay,” she said. “Okay.”

“Thanks, Em.” I opened my eyes.

“We’ll just talk about the weather, then.” She smiled a weak smile, then sat beside me on the

bed.

“That’s what I need,” I said breathily as I rested my head on her shoulder.

And we did talk about the weather, the past, the present, the future. The coming spring, the

wild winter, and I know a few times Emily wondered if I was talking in code, referring to David as

the rain, the sadness, or talking about the attack when I spoke about the storms. And who knows,

maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. But it was nice to just talk for no other reason than to exchange words

in the company of someone you’d come to love.

By the time Dad told Emily to ‘let me rest’, I had formed a real smile at least twice, and had

managed to forget about the attack for a while.

“Em?” I said as she went to close my door behind her.

“Yeah?”

“Can you come back tomorrow?”

She pressed her lips into a tight line and blinked rapidly, then nodded and closed the door

before I heard her burst into tears on the other side.

Rising from my fir st dreamless slumber since I woke from my nightmare, I drew a deep

breath and watched the sun rise higher in the sky until it reflected off my light-catching mirrors

outside, making a small rainbow dance on the wall above my dresser. I looked away from it; colour

didn’t belong in my life anymore. I wondered if it’d ever be a part of me again.

I found the bright side in all the gloom easily though as I extended my limbs into a stretch

and, for the first time, they didn’t hurt quite so much. I felt the cold as if it were only cold, not sharp

pins, and could actually find appreciation in the beautiful winter that set in deep while I was in a

coma. It h ad been a sh ock to my ne rves when I fe lt the sting of the frost on that first day they

brought me home. It’s not so bad now. I actually like it—more than I once liked the autumn.

“Hey? Good morning. I di dn’t know you we re awake,” Mike chimed, leaning on my

doorframe.

So, being awake is some miracle. Obviously, three weeks of being alive isn’t enough for

him to feel normal.

He looked a little more rested today; his hair was still wet from a shower, and the smell of

his fresh, powder-scented cologne filled my room.

“Yeah, hi. I’ve just been…doing some thinking.” I sat up in my bed.

“What about?” Mike dropped his folded arms and moved to sit beside me.

“Just stuff.”

“Ara—” He paused, seemingly assessing his words. “I love you. And—I’m your best friend.

I always will be. But I’m not stup id, and I’m not blind. ” He opened his eyes a little wider, then

focused on my face.

There’s only one di rection this could be going ; he must have pieced it all together, as I

feared. I looked away from him and braced myself for his fury. Everything that happened; being

kidnapped and nearly murdered by J ason was all my fault—he’d be right to yell at me; I let a

vampire into my world, and it nearly cost me my life—and his.

“Hey? Don’t do that.” He rolled my face upward with his fingertip. “Please don’t turn away

from me, Ara. I just want to see you happy again. I want that mor e than I can express. I just—I

wanted you to know that—you’re not alone. Okay?” He stroked my hair once and pressed his lips

together—studying my averted gaze. “Look. In t he hospital, I saw the way he loved you,” Mike

continued. “It was…undeniable. I…I don’t know what happened between you two, and maybe I

never will—but you need to know that, alt hough that part of your life is over now,
I’m
still here.

And you still have a chance to be happy.”

“I’m not sure I’m capable of that anymore, Mike.”

Mike nodded. “What if I could promise you you are? What if I could guarantee that you will

one day find a smile again? Would you believe me—at least start
wanting
to be happy again?”

“I—” I frowned to myself. “I do want to be happy.”

He went to shake his head, but stopped and exhaled. “Only you know the truth of that, Ar.

But I’m not giving up on you. Not ever. I don’t care what you say to me or do to make me mad or

hurt, I love you, and I’m not giving up on you.”

My eyes watered and my lips parted with elation. “What if I asked you to go?”

He didn’t even answer. We both already knew the answer. But he didn’t know the truth—he

was right, only
I
knew that. And the truth is, they all think I’m depressed and miserable because of

the attack, and while a part of that’s t rue, the core of it is because of David. But David’s gone. He’s

a part of my life I have to let go—I have no choice. And time, death and tears haven’t changed that,

and won’t change that.

David is never coming back for me. I just have to believe that he’s dead. Finality. Like Mum

and Harry. I grieve for them, and I can grieve for David. I shouldn’t wait for him to step around the

corner anymore.

I don’t want to let go, but it’s time to move on—be happy. Well,
try
to be happy.

I squeezed Mike’s hand and reached up to stroke my thumb over the thin bor der of stubble

following his jaw-line. “I like this.”

“Yeah? It was Emily’s suggestio n. She said I have the r ight jaw for it.” He gr inned and

rubbed his chin.

I chuckled. “You can always trus t her to give good fashion advice. When’s she coming to

see me again?”

“This afternoon.”

“How come they wouldn’t let her in at the hospita l,” I asked. “She said she came to see me,

but you had to sneak her in.”

“Yeah. They only allowed immediate family.”

“Then how did David—?”

“I lied. Told them I was your brother, and he was your fiancé.”

“You did that? For me? For him?”

“I know how much he means to you.” Mike sh

rugged. “It was…it ’s what you would’ve

wanted.” Mike lowered his head a little and looked away.

That must have hur t him—a lo t—when he realised the love David and I had t ogether. I

clasped his warm, squishy, human cheeks in my fingers and turned his face to mine; “You’re a good

man, Mike.” My head rocked from side to side. “I’m glad I’m marrying you.”

Mike’s frown softened and a br oad smile spread across his face, like the li ght touching the

earth at sunrise. “Then...you still wanna get married?”

“Of course I do, dummy.” I slapped his arm. “Why wouldn’t I?”