The Lady in the Tower (33 page)

‘No indeed,’ I faltered. My throat felt constricted with sobs and my breath was short. ‘He … released me from our betrothal. And Aunt Jane … I fear he no longer
wanted
to marry me.’ My voice broke, and I hid my face in the damp handkerchief once more.

‘Well, my dear, and where’s the tragedy in that? You did not wish for the match. You made that plain enough.’

‘I know,’ I said. ‘And I am not surprised he no longer wishes to marry a girl everyone believes to be spoiled goods.’

I had brought up the dreadful subject at last.

‘Dear God, who told you that? Not Stanton, surely?’

I nodded miserably. ‘No one will ever wish to marry me now, will they?’

‘My poor child. We tried to keep it from you … your uncle and I. I’m so sorry, we meant it for the best. It was very indelicate of Lord Stanton to discuss it with you. I never thought he … Surely he did not tell you that was his reason for breaking with you?’

‘No, he did not. He only asked me if it was true. He … he was very kind.’

‘And you said … ?’ my aunt asked tentatively.

‘That it was a vile invention, of course. And it
is
.’

My aunt let out a sigh of relief and stroked my hair comfortingly.

‘It is a weight off my mind to hear you say so. I cannot tell you what we have suffered for your sake since we heard the accusation. People are saying Hungerford was quite insane, towards the end. We feared he might have been capable of any crime.’

I shook my head.

‘Not that one,’ I assured her. ‘But what difference does it make? Everyone will believe it to be true.’

‘It makes a great deal of difference to you, Eleanor. And so it is this news which has brought you so low. I can understand it, my dear, but have courage. You know it to be false, and the scandal will pass in time. As for Stanton, you did not care for him anyway, so he is no great loss.’

Her words brought tears of despair to my eyes.

‘When I saw him last, I accused him of plotting to murder my mother,’ I confessed, the tears running hot down my face again. ‘You know that Sir Walter told me it was so, and I believed him. But my cousin has just been here. He told me it was all a lie.’

‘Your cousin?’ asked my aunt, surprised.

I waved this detail aside.

‘I think, perhaps … ’ I began, hesitatingly. The awareness that had been growing in me for days became certainty as I spoke.

‘You think … ?’ prompted my aunt, when I paused.

‘I think perhaps I do care for Stanton … a little.’ I spoke in a rush, embarrassed to be contradicting everything I had said about him.

‘You do? Enough to marry him?’

‘I don’t know. Perhaps. But it is no use. He thinks I believe dreadful things of him. And he will not want such a scandal. I will never see him again.’ I leaned my aching head against my aunt’s shoulder.

I had not fully realized the truth till this moment. Only a part of my great sadness had been due to my public disgrace. By far the larger part was the loss of Lord Stanton just as I realized how much I cared for him.

‘He can be so very kind, Aunt,’ I confessed. ‘Even when I accused him of … well, of wanting to murder Mother, he did not fly into a rage. When I think that I will never see him again, I feel so sad. I miss him already. I would not even mind him teasing me now.’

‘My dear Eleanor. You are in love!’ exclaimed my aunt.

I nodded miserably. It was true. I did not know when my heart had changed, but it had.

Aunt Jane hugged me tight.

‘Do not despair. All may yet turn out better than you expect.’

‘How can it?’ I asked despairingly.

‘I do not know. But it may.’

‘I wish only that I might see him one last time. So that I might have the chance to explain how wrong I was to dislike him so. But it is not likely.’

The following morning brought me two things. Firstly our mourning clothes, which my aunt insisted we donned at once. Both kirtle and gown were sober black, with not a single thread of colour to lighten them. A new hood had also been made for me, which my aunt begged me to wear. Usually I went bare-headed in the house.

‘There will be callers, Eleanor. Some will come to give their condolences, but most to gather gossip, so you must be correctly attired.’

Obediently I clad myself in the sombre garments and descended to the hall where my aunt already sat. ‘There’s a letter for you, Eleanor!’ she told me as I joined her. ‘Sir Thomas sent it by messenger.’

I tore open the letter, praying that all was well with Mother in Bath.

‘Oh, Mother is to be married! Next month.’ It surprised me to find I was happy for my mother. But I looked down at my black gown and then at my aunt. ‘Aunt Jane, should not Mother be in mourning? It cannot be proper of her to be getting married so soon?’

‘It is most irregular,’ agreed my aunt, with raised eyebrows. ‘But I daresay your mother feels she owes your father no proper observance after the way she was treated. I imagine it will be a private ceremony?’

I scanned the letter. ‘Yes. And I am to be bridemaid. Oh dear, I am to go to her at once. The messenger will accompany me on the journey. He is going to hire a carriage.’

I did not want to leave London and any prospect of seeing Lord Stanton once more.

‘It’s natural that your mother wants you with her,’ said my aunt, smiling at my crestfallen face. ‘And I’m sure you will learn to like Sir Thomas.’

‘Well, if Mother loves him, of course she must marry him,’ I sighed. My aunt chuckled.

‘Well, there’s someone who has changed her tune! Now, I think we need to start packing, don’t you?’

As I folded my kirtles and gowns and laid them in my trunk, I imagined walking down the aisle as a bridemaid. I could not help thinking that had I remained at Farleigh, I would have gone to church as a bride by now. Would I have fallen in love with Stanton if I had been forced to marry him? I could not tell, but I thought I would have done sooner or later. I became quite absorbed in imagining various possible scenes, and was scolded by my aunt for packing my shoes into my hat box.

When I descended for refreshments, my uncle and aunt were both waiting for me, with cheerful looks upon their faces.

‘We have a little something for you, Eleanor,’ said my uncle. ‘Please accept this as a parting gift, and as a souvenir of your time with us.’ He presented me with one of his beautiful books.

‘Oh, Uncle!’ I gasped. ‘How can I accept this? It’s far too precious!’

‘Nonsense, my dear,’ he said, accepting my embrace. ‘I would like to think that you have it, and are reading it.’

‘And I have a smaller gift for you, Eleanor,’ said my aunt, holding out a second package. It was a prettily presented box of parchment, with several quills. ‘So that we can keep in touch,’ she explained, hugging me tight. ‘Your uncle will read me your letters. And I hope you will come and stay with us again sometime.’

The manservant entered the room at that moment and made his stately way over to my aunt.

‘Pardon me for interrupting, my lady, but there is a servant at the front door with a message for Mistress Hungerford.’

My aunt looked at him in surprise. ‘Well, tell him to leave his message, Cooper.’

‘Pardon me, but I have already done so. He insists on giving the message in person.’ The servant coughed discreetly and added, ‘Not a genteel personage, my lady, though he is dressed in livery.’

‘Who is it, Cooper?’ I asked, my curiosity aroused.

‘He won’t say, Mistress,’ replied the servant.

‘Well, this is most irregular!’ exclaimed my aunt.

‘Please do not trouble yourself, Aunt Jane,’ I begged her. ‘I’ll go to him.’

‘You’ll do no such thing! Sit down and behave like a young lady. Cooper, you may show him in, but make sure his shoes are clean and do not let him out of your sight.’

‘Very good, my lady,’ he replied.

A moment later a tall young man in vaguely familiar livery appeared in the doorway, and stood there awkwardly, hesitating. My gaze travelled upwards from his shoes, past his smart blue tunic to his face topped with unruly curls and a cap. I did not recognize him at first, and as I looked at him, he reddened under my gaze.

‘Mistress Eleanor,’ he said apologetically, stepping forward, and I knew his voice at once.

‘Tom!’ I cried, leaping to my feet. ‘Where the devil did you spring from?’

I heard my aunt clucking a faint protest at my language, but I saw a smile in Tom’s eyes. I grasped his hand. ‘I’ve never seen you look so clean!’ I exclaimed. ‘Explain!’

‘I have a new place now, Mistress Eleanor,’ said Tom, blushing again, but also smiling. ‘And I’ve brought something for you.’

‘Something from Farleigh?’ I asked, surprised.

‘Not exactly, Mistress. It’s outside the front door.’

‘Outside?’ I echoed in astonishment. ‘Why did you leave it out there?’

Tom bowed clumsily. ‘If you follow me, Mistress Eleanor, you’ll see.’ He spoke stiffly, and it was obvious to me that he was trying to be on his best behaviour before my uncle and aunt. I tucked my hand in his arm.

‘Lead on, Tom,’ I told him, and then added in a lower voice, ‘But for God’s sake stop calling me Mistress Eleanor.’

‘I can’t call you Eleanor, not now.’

‘Why not? You just did. Are you feeling very grand in those clothes, Tom?’

Tom grinned sheepishly, and I forbore to tease him further.

The servant threw open the front door when we reached it, and Tom stood back to allow me to pass through it first. Curious, I stepped out into the sunshine. I had no idea what to expect, and indeed the heat and the bright sunshine dazzled me at first so that I could see nothing. I stood blinking while my eyes adjusted. Two dark blurs resolved into horses. One was unfamiliar and unremarkable. The second horse I knew at once.

‘Arianna!’ I cried, hardly able to believe my eyes. I ran to her and flung my arms about her neck, making her throw up her head nervously.

‘That’s no way to treat a high-bred horse, Mistress,’ Tom chided me. I ignored him. I was hugging as much of Arianna as I could reach. I pressed my face into her glossy hide, breathing in her familiar horse scent. She bore it patiently after her initial fright, and when I let her go, she lipped my hands, looking for carrots.

‘I’ve nothing for you, dear Arianna,’ I laughed, stroking her soft velvety nose. I was overjoyed to see her again. I had thought her lost to me for ever. To my disgust, I found I was having to fight back tears once more. Whatever was happening to me? My feelings seemed so much more intense these days. I was ashamed of my weakness. It would not do for Tom to see me blubbing like a girl.

I turned to Tom. He was standing at a respectful distance looking pleased with himself. I beckoned him closer.

‘Tom,’ I asked. ‘How is this possible? Did not Lord Stanton have Arianna?’

‘Yes, that’s right,’ Tom agreed. ‘He’s my new master.’

My eyes widened in surprise. Tom sounded both proud and happy.

‘So he has sent Arianna?’ My heart gave a jump but then sank again. ‘But why did he not bring her himself?’

‘On account of not knowing whether he was welcome, Mistress Eleanor,’ explained Tom, far too cheerfully. ‘He thought you might prefer to see me.’

‘I am very happy to see you, Tom,’ I told him, trying but failing to match his cheerful tone. I hesitated, and continued more quietly: ‘But Lord Stanton is mistaken. I do not dislike him. I believe you have found a good master.’

I turned to Arianna again, and stroked her beautiful grey neck, trying to hide my disappointment. Lord Stanton would not even come himself. He had truly lost his regard for me. And no wonder.

‘Is not Arianna beautiful today, Mistress?’ asked Tom. ‘I brushed her for hours this morning and oiled her hooves, look.’

‘I’ve never seen her look so fine,’ I agreed. ‘Thank you, Tom.’ I hesitated. ‘And does Arianna return with you? Or am I allowed to keep her?’

‘Oh, she’s a gift, Mistress Eleanor. Did I forget to say? A gift from his lordship
with
his compliments,’ said Tom. ‘Dunno what it means, but that’s what he said to tell you.’

‘I am very grateful to Lord Stanton,’ I murmured.

‘You should be,’ said Tom seriously. ‘We’ve rode for four days, him and me, to fetch her from that place where he lives. Can’t remember its name. He comes in early one morning, dunno where he’d been, and says, “Saddle up, Tom. We’re away to fetch Arianna for Mistress Eleanor.”’

I felt moved at his words. All this time I had been thinking he had neglected to call on me, he had been riding to fetch Arianna. The thought kindled hope in me, but I also felt hurt. After so much trouble, could he not have brought her to me himself?

I saw Tom was mounting the other horse. Was he going to ride away without saying farewell?

‘Tom!’ I cried. I laid a hand on his knee. ‘I shall miss you,’ I told him. ‘Very much.’ His face was tight as he looked at me, but he said nothing. ‘And please tell his lordship that I’m exceedingly grateful to him.’

‘Well I could try, Mistress Eleanor. But them’s not words as I can say, I reckon. So why don’t you come and thank him yourself?’ He grinned at me. ‘He’s riding Caesar in the park if you’d like to see him.’

I felt a flame of hope burst into life within me. He was nearby. I could speak to him once more. This was what I had wished for.

‘Wait!’ I ordered Tom, and dashed back into the house to tell my aunt where I was going. She smiled complacently when she heard my errand, and gave me permission to go, provided one of the manservants accompanied me.

‘Tom will look after me,’ I cried, running back out of the house before she could protest.

The joy of riding Arianna again put all else temporarily out of my mind. She danced and sidled while I adjusted my stirrups, but when I told her to walk, she stepped out briskly, her ears pricked right forward.

‘Oh, Tom! I cannot tell you what a pleasure this is! To be riding Arianna again. And she still knows me.’

‘Of course she does. I have a fair idea how you feel about that horse, Mistress Eleanor.’

When we reached the park, I felt a flutter of nerves. Did Lord Stanton actually want to see me, or would he have preferred to avoid it? Was my reputation so tainted that it would harm him to even be in my company?