The Lady of Fairhaven (18 page)

Her head slightly lowered, she said, “You flatter me. I am merely mortal with all the faults associated with mortality.”

“
And what could those include?” Luke asked.

Gillian faced him square on. She held his gaze steadily. In one bold and unexpected move, she pulled her hands next to his cheek. Rising on her tiptoes, she brushed a butterfly light kiss on his lips. Knowing it would probably be her last opportunity to feel anywhere close to love again, she savored the sweet taste of him. A soft low moan slid out easily and was caught by Luke’s mouth.

His arms encircled her and drew her against him, as his mouth demanded more. A hand at her tiny waist and the other on her back held her in place. As if caught in a timeless ritual of love, Gillian pulled him closer and pushed her hips and breasts against him. Her body molded soft flesh against hard muscle while responding to and complying with her instinctive cravings.

As Luke’s tongue caressed her lips ever so lightly, Gillian was not so sure she hadn’t imagined it. In response to what could easily have been an overly developed sense of imagination, she pressed her tongue to meet his and was rewarded. Fighting for intimate contact in his mouth, Gillian yielded to every advance. A soft moan of pleasure welcomed Luke’s possession. The two tongues caressed each other.

At last Luke pushed away. His face flushed with emotion and desire.

“
I can not do this,” he said. Luke gently but firmly released his hold on Gillian’s arms. “We must not do this. Your future belongs with my father. I have dishonored you both.” As he turned away, Luke dragged his fingers through his hair in frustration.

Gillian stood staring at the man she loved but couldn’t have. Finally, she said, “You asked what my sins could possible include. I love you and I have no wish to stop.” Gillian began to sob. For a moment she stood, her hands furiously swiping the tears from her cheeks. Then, she let her hands drop to her sides. She was no longer crying. She had a firmness in her stance, much like her voice as she said, “At some time I may learn to love your father, and if I am fortunate, he might care for me. But I should not want to go through my life never having kissed a man I loved. If I should perish today, I would be happy. I thank you for that.”

Angrily, Luke snapped, “Do not thank me for aiding you in doing something I should never have allowed.” Luke walked a short distance away and stood, facing away from her. He waited for Gillian to wash and return. His self-loathing simmered in his stomach, roiling it into a clenching pain.

When Gillian returned to the assembly of soldiers her eyes stayed lowered, looking only at the ground, carefully keeping her distance from Luke. She approached Simon. “How much farther to Fairhaven, Sir,” she asked.

“
But a few hours more, my lady,” Simon answered.

“
Could I walk some of it, do you think?” Gillian asked. “My body grows weary of sitting upon a horse.”

Simon looked to Luke for some help, but Luke cast a dark look in his direction. Luke walked over to Gillian. “It is not safe for you to walk. We do not know everyone who is involved in your abduction and may need some speed if someone should approach. You shall ride with me.” He turned and walked away.

Gillian nodded dismally and sat at the edge of the group looking back toward where they had just traveled. Her heart was broken. Any joy she had achieved with her kiss was lost for the pain she had caused both Luke and herself.

Sent over by Luke, Simon approached. “Lady Gillian, would you like some bread and cheese? You need to keep up your strength.” His suggestion received no acknowledgement. “You have suffered in the last few days and need to recover. Take this bread and cheese.” He held the offering out and Gillian took it, but she toyed with it in her hands and never ate it

As she stood and waited for them to mount, Gillian argued with herself over the sensibility of her childish behavior, but the pain right now was too deep to let it go. Too tormented to correct her ways, she wallowed in self-recrimination. Finally, Gillian bent over and fed the mangled food to Dog who gulped it down without tasting it.

A few moments later, Luke led his steed over to Gillian and helped her up. He quickly assumed his position behind her. Gillian’s back stiffened to maintain distance between her and Luke. She refused to allow any further contact to shame either of them.

“
My Lady, you must be tired,” Luke whispered in her ear. “Please lean against me and rest.”

“
I thank you, but nay,” Gillian replied.

By the time they arrived at Fairhaven, every muscle in Gillian’s upper body stung from exertion. As Luke helped her from Storm her body stiffened and she took a step back. Luke reached out to steady her, but her upturned hand warmed him off.

“
I thank you for your offer of assistance, Sir. I am fine.” Her gaze met his for the briefest instant then fell down to watch her hands. Unshed tears pooled in her eyes. “I shall never be able to thank you sufficiently for rescuing me.” Not seeking a response, the chatelaine walked stiffly into the great hall. Servants cried with happiness as she passed inside the doors.

He knew little of women’s emotions. Most women of his acquaintance were insincere, scheming wenches wanting to bed and trap him. Gillian was the exception to everything he knew. Her candor and innocence left her vulnerable to hurt, and this day he had crushed her spirit.

Luke watched her approach the stairs then pause. Alice drew near and listened as Gillian whispered in her ear. Alice wrapped her arm around the chatelaine’s waist. A cry of pain was wrenched free and Gillian nearly sagged to the floor. It may have been a foolish act to distance herself from him, but it had cost her dearly.

Luke scolded himself for allowing this emotional upheaval to cause hurt in any way. He was her protector and again he had let her down. Luke rushed over and scooped Gillian up into his arms and carried her to her room.

Keeping her distance, Katherine had watched the entire scene unfold. After Luke and Gillian and Alice had disappeared inside the manor, Katherine waited After allowing Alice some time to tend to Gillian’s needs, she approached Gillian’s room. She was just in time to see Alice leaving.

“
How does the Lady Gillian?” Katherine inquired.

Appreciating the Leman’s concern, Alice said, “She is weak and tired, My Lady. She refuses to take food. She says she is too tired to eat.”

“
Thank you Alice. I will stay with Lady Gillian for a while and will send for you later,” Katherine ordered.

“
Yes, My Lady,” was all Alice said. Her appreciative smile was replaced with a scowl of disapproval as Alice made her way back toward the other chambers.

Katherine approached Gillian’s room and stood before Luke’s guard posted at the door. “You may leave,” she said. “I am going to speak with the Lady Gillian. She will be well with me.”

“
I answer to Sir Luke Thornburgh, my lady, and only he can relieve me of my duties. I am to maintain watch over the Lady Gillian,” the guard replied.

Katherine mumbled under her breath as she walked through the door to find Gillian resting in her bed.

“
Welcome back Gillian,” she said.

“
What are you doing here?” Gillian asked. “Leave me!” She rose up in her bed but her breath caught in the effort. Any cry for help would be lost in the feeble attempt to gather enough air.

“
What do you think I am doing here? I am looking after my own interests.” Katherine hissed.

“
You have no interests in Fairhaven.”

“
You are wrong. I have many interests.”

“
Why are you doing this to me? You arranged for me to be taken from Fairhaven. Why?” the chatelaine demanded. “And why are you allowed to stay here?”

“
I told you, I’m protecting my interests. You seem not to want to share with your uncle. No one but you wants me to be gone. And I can see by the way that you and Sir Luke entered today, that I am free to resume my interest in him.”

“
Leave me,” Gillian demanded.

“
If you had any appeal at all to a man, you would have been able to tempt him during your return trip. I pity your worthless body and girlish ways. You will never hold any man’s interest and by the time you are free to hunt anew for a man, you shall have outlived any charms you might develop. You situation is pitiable.”

“
Be gone!” Gillian shouted.

“
Having a man feel sorry for your problems and aches and pains never holds any appeal. I, on the other hand, know how to please a man. I believe I shall go meet Luke’s needs. He must need a woman to release his tension from watching over a simpering little girl.”

“
I have never asked for sympathy for these injuries that have been inflicted on me. Now get out. Be gone!” Gillian screamed at Katherine.

The door to her chamber swung open and the guard stepped in.

“
Pack your things and leave Fairhaven. You are no longer welcome here,” Gillian yelled. “Leave me! I never want to see you again.” She sat up in the bed and grimaced.

“
Oh, you will see me again,” Katherine promised. “You seem to think that you have the power to make me leave. Sir Luke will want me to stay. Watch. He will want me to warm his bed until Oliver returns. You will see me again.”

In her head Gillian knew that Katherine could not speak the truth. However, her heart ached with jealousy and anguish. She had repulsed Luke with her brazenness and now she must pay dearly for it. Gillian rose to grab her enemy and throw her out of the manor, but her body moved slowly. The guard stepped further into the room and positioned himself in a way that led Katherine to the door. He left little choice.

The guard rearranged Gillian back onto the thick mattress before he ushered Katherine to the door. He had no intention of letting Katherine remain in Gillian’s room and cause her pain. She would not gain re-admittance.

Luke lay on his bed, exhausted from his rescue mission. Finding Gillian, worrying about her, and bringing her safely back had drained him both emotionally as well as physically. The hurt he had seen in her eyes, that he had caused, ripped his heart in half.

Mulling over his feelings and his reactions had occupied all his thoughts and he hadn’t noticed Katherine enter his bedchamber. Quietly, she moved to his bed. She leaned over and kissed him. Luke bolted awake. As always, her breasts were bulging out over her bodice in an enticing display. Luke’s gaze swept over her creamy mounds. As much as he appreciated her comely figure, he would never entertain the idea of bedding Katherine.

“
Why haven’t you left Fairhaven?” Luke asked. The thought had passed his mind shortly after he stopped considering her body. “I want you away from here and the Lady Gillian. I will consider having some small measure of mercy on you if you leave immediately.”

Katherine had known the moment Luke had awakened that she was not going to make any headway by trying to seduce him. Instead, she lowered her head and began to pout. “I would be gone from here now if I had a place to go and a means to get there. Sir Oliver has been my protector and friend for many years, and when he left here to find Gillian, I had no other place to go.” Katherine counted on her tears to work their way into Luke’s sympathy. “If you will allow me to stay until Sir Oliver returns, I promise to stay out of your way.”

“
Very well,” Luke said reluctantly. He had decided that he might be better off allowing her to remain in the manor rather than running loose in the country. At least here he could keep an eye on her. Quite forcefully, he added, “But stay far away from me or I shall have you out on foot regardless of Oliver. The Lady Gillian must not know of your residence here or I shall escort you to the gates myself.”

“
Thank you,” said Katherine. The tear shed remained on her eyelash until she left the room.

Gillian had stayed in her room since her arrival back to Fairhaven. Injuries suffered on the abduction and journey home still made her wince when she moved too suddenly, but she was feeling much stronger. In her heart she had little will to get better even if she knew it was inevitable.

Two days later, Sir Oliver and Sir Giles returned from their search in the north. On their return, Lady Katherine rushed into the bailey to greet her lover. She leaped into his arms, holding him close. Moments later, Luke approached. Katherine, still holding tightly to Sir Oliver, turned her head slightly toward Luke. She lavished a cat-like grin that did not go unnoticed.

Gillian was too stunned to react. If Luke hadn’t been bedding her, then why would she still be in residence? The witch played one man against another to her own satisfaction. It was so clear that Gillian had been a fool to expose her deepest feelings to Luke. Mayhap they laughed about her childish display. If only she could replay that day in the woods without the kiss.

There was only one path to take. She must distance herself as far from Luke as possible and fulfill her obligations. Her mind was numb and she prayed she would never feel anything again. Wishing to be left alone, Gillian climbed into bed, covered her head with the blankets, and silently cried herself to sleep.

She never saw an escort take Katherine away from Fairhaven. She never heard Luke’s offer to pay double for the head of anyone who would harm her. She lived with the vision of Katherine being held close to Luke.

“
Is the Lady Gillian prepared for the trip?” Luke asked Alice. “Can I be of any assistance?” He had overseen the loading of all her belongings.