The Lady of Fairhaven (34 page)

“
Luke,” she said. “Forgive me. I must leave for the abbey.”

“
Gillian, there is nothing to forgive,” Luke answered. Her actions were truly puzzling. “How are you going to get there in the night?”

“
As you can plainly see, I plan to walk, sir,” she said irritably.

“
Then stay with me tonight,” Luke said. “You can’t make it there without your shoes.” She made no attempt to look to her feet. He smiled at her random ravings. It was clear that Gillian was talking in her sleep again, and her exhaustion had driven her body to conjure visions in her unconscious mind.

“
I cannot,” she replied.

“
Why is this so?” he asked.

“
Why simply because I love you and you hate me. It really is quite clear.” Leaning down at the waist over the top of him she clasped his ears and kissed him soundly and unexpectedly on the mouth. As soon as her kiss retreated she pulled in another breath and returned to plunder his lips once again. She straightened up and closed her eyes. “Sorry. I need to keep this moment in my heart.”

“
Sweet Jesu, Gill,” Luke whispered. His mouth closed over hers, nibbling the sweet flesh of her lips. In one fluid motion, he rose to his feet and enfolded her body in his arms. After lavishing hard urgent kisses on her lips and cheeks, his mouth roamed down over the slender column of her neck. A moan of need and surrender rushed from deep within his gut. She may be asleep, but heaven help him, he couldn’t resist her.

His hand slid over Gill’s breast, and she sighed. Her back arched, pushing her rounded flesh more securely into his hand. Softly, Luke’s mouth moved down the silky flesh above her chemise.

But Luke was surprised by her next action. After returning his kisses, Gillian’s face suddenly changed and she backed away. Her hands thrust out as if she were warding off a stranger. She spoke softly but with reverence, “I know now you could not care for me since I wronged you and your family. It is quite clear you must hate me. I cannot bear your loathing. I am determined to live in the abbey as a maid. Farewell.” A sniff degraded to a sob but stopped as quickly as it had come. “You will be well rid of me, I think.” Gillian then spun on one heel and started toward the darkness. Her foot slipped on some slick grass but she quickly recovered and tilted her chin a bit higher. And then as if she had forgotten something she turned back to face him. “Take care! Rats abound in this place,” she whispered secretively.

Luke froze in place. “A maid?” he repeated quietly as though he spoke for his ears only.

“
I need be satisfied with my love for you since I shall never really have a husband,” Gillian forced her chin up in a valiant attempt to keep her emotions at bay. “I promise I will be content in the abbey. I daresay it will be better than these rats crawling over me.” Her hands struck at the imaginary creatures. “Do you see how they torment me?”

“
A maiden!” Luke whispered. His heart fluttered with excitement.

Gillian continued to ramble. “Mayhap I will like it well enough to take my vows. They shall need proof, of course, and I would tolerate the imposition if I desire to become a nun.”

“
No! Gillian, you must not go to the abbey.” Luke said. His voice rasped with emotion. “I cannot bear to be parted from you.”

“
What is this? The man that spurns my love now tells me he wants me near? How is this?”

“
I could not truly reject your affections, my love,” Luke explained lovingly. “I was only afraid of hurting you. I lose my control when I am with you. It is a foreign feeling, one I seem ill equipped to deal with. My training makes me shy away from the emotions I have for you.”

A night creature broke the silence of the meadow. Gillian flinched. Her arms latched around Luke’s broad chest, and she pressed him to her.

“
He has found me and will take me back to the rats,” Gillian cried. Her body lurched away from Luke. Her head snapped to look over her shoulder. Instantly, she was pushing him away.

“
Gillian do not do this. You must not venture out into the night. You are tired and dreaming.”

He had seen men weary with the fatigue of battle fall into the specters of nightmares. It appeared that Gillian had succumbed to the nonsense her mind was trying to sort out. “There are no rats here to hurt you,” he said. “I will make sure you are safe.”

“
No rats?” Gillian asked. “But they are crawling down the walls toward us.”

“
You are free from the rats, my lady,” Luke said. He studied her face. She was looking around as if watching rats crawl along the walls. Clearly she was asleep, and the idea that he had been talking to her as she slept fascinated him. “Rest now. We have a long ride back to Fairhaven in the morning.”

“
Sleep,” Gillian mumbled. “Yes. I need to sleep so I can walk to the abbey.” She found the place where Luke had made into a bed and wriggled into a soft spot. Soon they were nestled together. She drifted silently back to a deep sleep, but he would claim little.

Luke did finally fall asleep, cradling his lady tightly in his arms, but it was not long after that the dim light of dawn broke through his sleepy senses. He had little interest in disturbing his lady as she rested, but it was necessary to relieve the minds of the men in the search party. They had risked their safety as well as that of their mounts to locate the chatelaine.

“
Good morning, my love,” Luke whispered as he showered the soft flesh of her face and neck with butterfly light kisses. Gillian’s startled gasp surprised him. “You look well rested.”

“
Indeed I am,” she said. “I am as well rested as I was certain that I should wake up alone.”

“
Mayhap you would have been if I had allowed you to walk off in a sleepy trance as you seemed so determined to do last evening,” he said. His smile carried a touch of mischief.

“
I have been told that my sleep walking belies my true vagabond ways,” Gillian teased. “It is all hearsay, as I have never met myself hither or yon to confirm such outlandish reports.”

“
Outlandish reports you say!” Luke said in surprise. “You nearly walked off into a dark forest abounding with creatures who might make a meal of your delicate flesh, my lady, and I again rescued you from a hideous fate.”

“
My thanks, brave knight, if what you say is true,” Gillian replied. Her voice was lowered in reverent homage to the man who most likely saved her life. Even if an animal had not killed her, she would have awakened in some unknown corner of the woods and been hard pressed to find her way out. “I assure you that I have yet to confirm such accounts. Never have I awakened in some unusual circumstance.” A similar mischievous smile graced her expression.

“
Indeed,” Luke said. He scratched his head wondering if she was teasing or telling some variation of the truth.

Luke’s hand snatched Gillian’s arm and pulled her to him. The teasing smile she flashed earlier faded to intent scrutiny of the man’s face just inches away from her own. His eyes, dark with longing, looked deep into hers. Flecks of gold and green fused to transform the rich brown background to some delicious bronze color. Luke sighed and gathered her tightly to him.

Gillian willingly melted against his length. Touching his cheek with her hand it slid beyond to the strong column of his neck. As she stood on her tiptoes, she pulled him gently down so that her lips brushed his gently. A sultry moan disappeared into the warm recesses of Luke’s open mouth.

Trusting that Luke had feelings for her, Gillian pressed tighter against him and in a surprise move thrust her tongue boldly into his mouth. It was Luke that now moaned with pleasure. Devouring her with unquenchable desire, Luke tangled his tongue past her smooth teeth, exploring lovingly the sweet recesses of her tongue and warm mouth. With every thrust, Gillian responded eagerly.

Luke was hard with desire and instinctively pressed his arousal against Gillian. And Gillian ground her hips rhythmically against him in response. His hands moved downward over the soft flesh of her chest, with his lips pressing a trail of caresses not far behind.

At last his hands clutched the soft mounds of flesh he had dreamed of for weeks. Uncertain of the welcome he might receive, he edged his tongue under the gathered neckline of her chemise. Instead of refusing access, Gillian clutched his head and held it in place.

“
Please,” Gillian moaned. She leaned forward and kissed the top of Luke’s head as he snacked at the pink nipples. His mouth latched on to the alert buds and as he suckled, every nerve alive in her sensitive breasts tickled her feminine core. An unknown connection sent tingles of pleasure to dance between the moist folds between her legs.

Luke’s breathing came in ragged uneven drafts. His hand slipped up her legs and under her chemise to delve in her woman’s wet flesh.

Finding the sensitive skin under her ear, Luke nipped and teased, driving Gillian to beg. “Please.”

Unable to resist such an invitation, Luke pulled down his chauses and Gillian’s hand slipped around the hardened shaft. Losing control, Luke closed his eyes and groaned in surrender.

And then as quickly as he had started, Luke released the grip holding Gillian under his eager body. His mouth disengaged the sensitive skin on her neck, and he rolled away. Shivering from the war between his unbridled desire and self-control tattered to shreds, Luke sat still and alone.

Gillian’s eyes filled with tears instantly. “Have I offended you?” she cried.

“
Nay,” Luke replied shakily. “I just cannot do this.”

Shock froze Gillian in mid thought. “You cannot do this?” she asked. Her voice cracked with shame. “Pray, tell me more of this.”

“
I am unable to explain, but please rest easy that it has little to do with my wanting you,” Luke confessed uneasily.

Stunned, Gillian buried her thoughts deep within herself. “Nay, what could you possibly say to a hussy who has thrown herself at you? Please forgive me for my boldness. I fear I have once again overstepped my bounds and placed you in an awkward place. Please forgive me. I think we should head back now.”

“
Gillian!” Luke barked out in frustration. “That is not the way of it.” But it was too late to explain away the hurt. Gillian had already turned and walked over to Buttercup who was cropping off the last of the soft grass surrounding her feet.

The two journeyed back to Fairhaven. Luke attempted some light conversation but Gillian refused to respond. At last he gave up trying at all. He had hurt her grievously, and it would take some time to remedy the situation, if indeed he could.

Once back at the manor, Gillian rushed to her chambers where a hot bath was quickly assembled, and she soaked in its calming heat. The tears cascaded down her cheeks as she let the warmth seep into her weary body. She ordered a tray of food. Gillian had no intention of facing Luke and her uncle. She had even less intention of eating, however, it served its purpose.

Luke waited for Gillian to come down to the board. Although he had never seen her so upset, the fact that she was unwilling to face him bespoke how much he had hurt her. Angry with himself for his insensitivity, his mood darkened. It was a wonder that he had any men left in his guards since he was always prowling around like a wounded predator.

Maybe it was best that Gillian was confined to her chamber. It would give him a chance to confront Oliver and confirm his intentions where Gillian was concerned. Without Oliver’s permission and that of King Edward, Luke feared his love would be lost forever. In all likelihood he had already ruined any chance he had with her.

The thought was preposterous, but nonetheless, Gillian was deeply troubled over the event and he had no one else to blame but himself. Asking Oliver for permission to court and wed his lady might prove to be a pointless endeavor. But there was also the claim that he now controlled Gillian’s destiny. As the inheritor of the estate, did her well being not now fall into his hands? Would he ever be allowed to marry a woman that the church now claimed as his mother? Despite these problems, Luke had no intention of giving her up so easily.

Oliver sat rigid at the board to Luke’s right. His position signaled power in spite of his new lower status below Luke. Losing rank clearly upset Oliver and requesting a favor would probably not be achieved easily without the leverage Luke intended to wield.

“
I would have a word with you, Sir Oliver,” Luke started politely.

“
I could not imagine why,” Oliver replied flatly.

“
The matter I wish to discuss deals concerning Lady Gillian,” Luke said in a low hushed tone. He had no desire to make his affairs public for everyone in the manor to share.

“
I see,” said Oliver. “There seems to be little consequence in the outcome, I would imagine. The widow, Gillian, has already been provided for in the nuptial agreement. I would imagine that an honorable man such as yourself would not toss the chit out on the road.”

Oliver’s grim little smile shone with such an insincere light, Luke’s urge to strike out left him ball-fisted and stiff. However, years of constant training to keep his emotions hidden left his voice steady, without inflection. “My father had no intention of dying so prematurely, but I am sure he would never condone leaving his wife without means. On this subject, Sir, you can rest easy. My intention is to speak about my interest in Gillian and my desire to court her. I am asking for your permission to wed her.”