The Lady's Choice (22 page)

Benae knew true despair as she watched the agonising rise and fall of Ramón's bandage-swathed chest. He was so pale. In two days there had been no change. She had done all she could, as had the physician. Removing the bolt had almost killed him all over again. Thank the Goddess the weapon had been so small that it had created less destruction within Ramón's body than a normal bolt would have. She flinched as she recalled the sound of the metal tearing through his flesh and the surprise on his face as he collapsed.

The bolt had been meant for her, she was convinced; meant to wipe out her child before he had a chance to draw breath, leaving one person as heir to the throne: Piotr. The king's nephew had departed the day after the funeral but his dirty plans had left their mark. The king remained, determined to see the end of Ramón's battle for good or ill.

Benae swallowed the lump that rose to her throat and blinked back tears. She would not cry again.

Someone coughed at the door. Seeing the king standing there, she rose from her chair but he waved her back down.

‘How is he?'

‘No change.'

‘And you? I worry you are not getting enough rest.'

‘I am not the one lying on my deathbed.' Benae could not hide the anger in her voice.

The king nodded. ‘Still, you carry a precious cargo.' He fell silent for a time. ‘The squire was a good man.'

‘
Is
a good man.'

‘Of course, I only meant—'

‘I know, Your Majesty, and I agree. He is the best of men.'

‘You love him.' It was not a question and Benae would not deny it.

She nodded. ‘I love him even more since this. He would truly give me everything.'

‘Do you think there is a chance he will survive? The physician says his death is but a matter of time, but I have seen you tend him. I think there is something special in your care.'

Benae met his eyes, wondering if he had divined the true nature of her healing. ‘There is always a chance while there is life. It is part of the reason I sit here. I talk with him and hope he can hear how much he has to live for.'

‘I am sure that will help. Send me word the moment there is any change, my lady.'

The king left and Benae resumed her vigil. She had never hoped for anything so much as this – Ramón's survival. What he had done with Hetty did not matter. He loved her and their child. He was a good man who had been manipulated by a crafty old woman. That was the worst of it. The best was the possibility that Jiseve had indeed died from the damage the herbs had done to his heart and that only the prince was to blame for that. There was every chance she would never know the truth, and she would not live the rest of her life without this man; she could not condemn him for seeking help from Hetty. If he lived, she would tell him she forgave him, that she loved him and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life loving him.

The decision made, Benae felt her eyelids grow heavy. Suddenly she could not stay awake. ‘I love you and forgive you, Ramón. Come back to us . . .'

Ramón fought his way back up a long dark corridor towards the shining light at the end. A voice called to him, speaking words of love and forgiveness. The voice was familiar. It was the voice of his beloved Benae. A great sadness filled him as the memories of the preceding weeks slowly returned. He had lost her and let her down. Again and again his impatience had led to impetuousness that had resulted in disaster.

Except for this last time. He had put himself aside and acted for the good of another and for the good of the kingdom. He had placed himself in the firing line, had made himself responsible and that action had saved Benae. He remembered that much. An assassin lay dead and he had taken the dart from the other. But what had passed then? He had no idea. All he remembered was the agony in his chest and the terror on Benae's face as his vision of her faded.

But what had happened afterwards? He had to know the outcome. He forced his way to that shining light and the agony doubled. The intensity of pain almost sent him back down the tunnel but he held on and the pain faded enough for him to open his eyes. At first none of the images before him made any sense. The room was too bright and his eyes had been closed for too long. As he adjusted to the glare, Ramón saw Benae asleep in a chair beside the bed, her face exquisite in repose. His heart lurched at the sight of her and the pain in his chest nearly made him pass out. She was well; tired but well. He could only pray that the king had also survived the attack. Ramón was so weak he couldn't lift his head from the pillow. He opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out.

He tried again. ‘Benae . . . ‘

She opened her eyes and stared at him as if the picture she saw didn't make sense. Then she sat up straight in her chair. ‘Ramón! Beloved!' She rose and leaned over him, her gaze sweeping his face.

Why does she not touch me? Is it truly too late for us?

‘How do you feel?' The fear in her voice told him more than words could. She had not expected him to survive, perhaps still did not.

‘My chest is on fire. How is the king?'

‘His Majesty is well. The second assassin was found dead in the gallery. He took poison rather than be captured.'

‘So we are no closer to knowing who sent the assassins?'

She shook her head. ‘Piotr has gone but the king believes it was he. He knew too much of Jiseve's death.' She peered at him. ‘I must examine you.'

Gently Benae pulled back the covers and peeled open the bandages swathing his chest. The wound he saw there made his head swim and his stomach lurch. How he could have survived a bolt that had entered the centre of his chest, he could not imagine. The thought of the hard steel slicing through his flesh . . . He pushed the image from his mind.

‘You must not look. The wound is serious but the bolt did not destroy anything important. Despite this, we nearly lost you and the battle against the wound poisoning goes on. I think we are winning.' She laid her hands upon his chest and closed her eyes.

At last!
Ramón gloried in the touch of her skin against his but then he realised that Benae touched him as a healer, not as a lover. His chest warmed beneath her hands and his breathing became easier.

Benae opened her eyes and despite her tiredness, there was a renewed spark in her gaze. ‘All will be well, praise the Goddess. You will heal; I have removed the last traces of the poison that coated the dart.'

‘Poison!'

‘We nearly lost you. You have lain for two days, hanging between life and death, and there was no more I could do until your body gained strength. Now all that is needed is time.'

Ramón found he could sit up against the pillows. Benae helped to make him comfortable.

‘I will send for food. That and rest are all you need now.'

‘There is one thing more I need,' he said, drawing her down and taking her hands in his. ‘I need you. I need to know that there is still hope for us.'

She looked at him as if weighing the good and the bad in him and Ramón squirmed as he remembered doing when his mother would hold him to account as a boy. But he was a man now and he had given everything for Benae. If that was not enough then he had to face the fact that he would never be enough for her.

‘When I found out what you had planned with Hetty, I thought it had destroyed us. I always thought that any ill you did another man would come in combat, not in stealth.'

Ramón flinched at her words. If only she knew what he was capable of; if only she suspected the secret he held close to his heart. He could not hold it forever but he would not tell her now.

‘I placed you on a pedestal and now I know that I was wrong to do so. You let me down when you went to Hetty, but your actions since have made me realise that you are a brave and good man who made a mistake. You risked your life at the funeral and I believe you would have been glad to die for the kingdom, for me and for our child. I cannot turn my back on you and I cannot be angry with you. If there is a way for us to be together in this new world then I wish it so.'

Ramón drew her close, inhaling the heady jasmine scent of her hair and ignoring the pain as her body pushed against his chest. Benae pulled away and cupped his cheek with her hand. Her lips met his, soft and warm and stirring feelings that he had tried to ignore for too long. He needed her, body, mind and soul.

‘I love you,' she said, releasing him at last.

‘I love you with everything that is in me, Benae. I never want to lose you.'

‘I must leave you for a time, but I will be back with food. The king has requested I let him know as soon as there is any change.'

He wanted to beg her to stay by his side but she brushed his forehead and a wave of exhaustion claimed him and sent him under.

Benae settled Ramón into a chair in the intimate confines of the small audience chamber. She couldn't help the tremor that shook her at the thought of what might pass when the king arrived. Her future was very much in Beniel's hands. He had indicated that she might manage Brightcastle but no formal decision had been made and she realised how fickle a monarch could be. It was unlikely he would banish her back to her estates, not when he thought she carried the future heir, but he could still place someone else in Brightcastle to oversee the principality until her child was born. And what of when her babe entered this world? Would she even be allowed to raise him? She really did not know what the king might do. One thing was sure: he would try to act in the best interests of the Kingdom of Thorius and the succession. Her child held the key to her future. Where Ramón would fit in, she had no idea, but he had been summoned along with her and the king knew how Benae felt about the man who had risked his life for the kingdom.

Ramón was still very weak and pale but had insisted on dressing for the occasion. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand as she took the seat beside him.

‘All will be well, Benae,' he said, wincing as he drew breath to speak. ‘Have faith.'

‘It is difficult to have faith when so much has gone wrong lately. Sometimes I fear that my life and that of those around me has been cursed.'

‘You saved me, beloved. You need no longer doubt your gift. If you remember, you have saved me twice now and let us not forget what you did with Flaire. His leg is now full strength.'

She smiled. ‘He yearns for the day when I can race him across the upper meadow once again.'

‘I still cannot believe you can communicate with him.'

She nodded. ‘We share a special bond.'

The door opened and King Beniel entered. Benae stood and curtseyed while Ramón nodded.

‘I see you continue to heal, squire, and I am glad. I feared we would have a hero's funeral to conduct.'

Ramón smiled. ‘No one is gladder than I, Your Majesty.'

The king took a seat and Benae resumed hers.

‘I feel the need to reward you in some way, Ramón Zorba, and I have thought long and hard about how I might achieve this.'

‘Your Majesty, there really is no need. I truly feel blessed that I could provide this service to you and to the kingdom. Your safety and that of Benae is all I require.'

‘And I am sure you are genuine in that sentiment.'

Benae realised she was grinding her teeth and deliberately relaxed each muscle in her face one by one. The king's gaze rested upon her for a brief moment. She took a deep breath and then another.

‘I know you both realise the precariousness of the Kingdom of Thorius and the importance of Brightcastle within that. The child Benae carries is my immediate heir if it is a boy. I hope and pray that is the case. To add to the difficulty, Princess Alecia is still absent. I have no one to administer this principality and that cannot be allowed to continue. Piotr waits to move into the void that circumstance has created. This part of my kingdom must remain stable and protected and to achieve that, I need a strong leader here. Benae, I think you can run the principality. I will grant you the official title of ‘Princess' to aid you in your task. From now on you are a princess in your own right, not just as wife of Prince Jiseve.'

Benae gasped and flew to her feet. ‘Thank you, Your Majesty.'

‘Princess Benae, have I not requested you call me Beniel in private?'

‘Thank you, Beniel.'

The stern look on the king's face did not fade. ‘As much as I respect your ability to run the kingdom, Benae, you will need help. You will need a man behind you to order the army and to help you deal with those who will not heed a woman's word. I gave this much thought.' His eyes fell upon Ramón. ‘Squire, you have proven yourself loyal and brave and not only that, you have the cunning to anticipate danger and problems. You did not relax your vigilance even when Vorasava mocked you for your attention to detail. If not for your actions, one or both of us might well be dead, giving Piotr the kingdom. I wish you to aid Princess Benae in her task of administering the kingdom and raising my nephew when he is born.'

Benae could not believe her ears and Ramón looked to be having as much difficulty.

‘Ramón Zorba,' King Beniel said, his voice ringing around the small room, ‘will you accept this task?'

Ramón swallowed twice and Benae stared at her beloved squire, hardly believing they had the king's permission to be together.

‘I will give everything I have to ensure the health of the kingdom and of Princess Benae and her child. No one will ever sacrifice more.'

‘Ramon Zorba, I name you Guardian of Brightcastle,' the king said.

Ramón bowed low as Beniel placed a golden chain of office around his neck.

‘Do not be deceived,' Beniel said. ‘This task will not be easy and you must both be vigilant. I cannot stress enough the precariousness of this kingdom. You must guard yourselves, for you will all continue to be targets. I will leave soldiers to help and you must train more. Vorasava can deal with those details. Princess Benae, I think your female guards are an excellent idea but their numbers need expanding. Intelligence must be stepped up so that we are made aware of threats. I will send my best people to help with this.'

The king stood and so did Benae. ‘I leave for Wildecoast at first light with the body of my brother. I leave these territories in good hands.' Benae curtseyed and the king pulled her up and kissed both her cheeks. ‘Farewell, sister-in-law. Let there always be friendship between us.' He turned to go and then stopped and faced Ramón. ‘Find my niece, Zorba. That is almost as important as keeping Benae safe.'

‘I will do my best, Your Majesty.'

The king strode from the room and Benae knelt in front of Ramón. They gazed at each other for long moments, Benae basking in a warm wave of contentment that finally she could love Ramón without guilt and subterfuge.

Ramón broke the silence. ‘I love you.' He leaned forward and she met him halfway. Their lips touched and Benae's stomach fluttered. This man thrilled her so!

She pulled back and smiled. ‘You give me everything I need. You are so much more than other men and you have proven this over and over. You never lost faith, even though I turned my back, even when circumstances kept us apart. Many times, you could have just ridden away. You didn't.'

Ramón's handsome face creased in a rueful smile. ‘I thought of it many times, but I could never take that step. You held me near you. I could not leave you alone to fend for yourself.'

‘You will never know how glad I am that you didn't.'

‘I think I have some idea. When will I be healed enough to show you how I feel?'

Benae shook her head. ‘Incorrigible rogue! It will be at least a week until such a time, but I can think of many pleasures we can indulge in before then. I promise you will not be disappointed.'

Ramón drew her back to him, his warm lips capturing hers, turning more demanding as she responded. She threw her arms around his neck and he gasped in pain. Benae pulled back.

‘I promise an evening you will never forget,' she said, her mind already exploring the possibilities, ‘when you are well enough.'

Ramón frowned and Benae had to restrain a giggle at his grumpy expression. Wasn't
she
the impatient one?

‘I need you,' he said

She smiled. ‘You will never know how much I need you too.'

‘You have me, now and forever.'

Benae smiled. ‘Now and forever.'