The Lamp of the Wicked (41 page)

‘I didn’t know where else to come. You know what she’s like – this… loose cannon.’ Gone eight p.m., and he was still wearing his school uniform.

‘You’ve got to drive back to Abergavenny tonight in this fog?’

‘It’s clearing. And they know where I am. You don’t mind, do you, Lol? I just—’

‘Eirion, look…’ Lol climbed onto a stool at the breakfast bar, which was still made up mainly of old packing cases. ‘Look, maybe the main problem is that the last thing she ever wants to think is that she’s at all like her mum, you know?’

Eirion smiled faintly. ‘A religious maniac?’

‘Bad enough if your dad’s a vicar. But your mother? So… What’s she going to do by way of rebellion? Obvious. She’s going to be a practising pagan, secretly joining a women’s mystical group meeting over a health-food café in Hereford, Next thing, she’s out in the vicarage garden bonding with the full moon.’

Eirion smiled.

‘And then suddenly Merrily’s realizing – as if she didn’t really already know – that not all pagans are sacrificing animals and deflowering virgins on the altar. She’s even made friends with a
witch
, for heaven’s sake. And so from Jane’s point of view, some of that essential inter-generational friction that you need, as a teenager, to grow up with a positive sense of yourself is not there any more. Her mum’s no longer shocked and appalled.’ Lol spread his hands, the way Prof would do. ‘Too easy, this stuff. I should’ve stuck with the psychology course.’

Eirion grinned.

‘So which way does she go next?’ Lol said. ‘Satanism?’

‘You’re right,’ Eirion said. ‘It’s denial, isn’t it? It’s not real atheism at all. It’s just spiritual denial.’

‘See? You don’t need me at all.’

Eirion gratefully drank some coffee.

‘What you’ve got,’ Lol said, ‘is a reluctant – and therefore unhappy – atheist. We’re oversimplifying here, because she’s still towing a lot of emotional luggage, including her dad, all of that. And, like you say, bad things happening to people close to her – like Gomer – giving her ammunition to use against Merrily’s faith. Lots of triggers.’

‘Including me, I expect.’ Eirion looked up, slightly red. ‘It’s pretty clear I’ve been a serious disappointment in… certain areas. Implying I’d been putting it about a lot, with the band and everything, the way you do. I’m probably totally crap in bed and she’s thinking, Christ, is this
it
?’

Lol tried not to smile. ‘Often it’s the ones who
don’t
think they’re crap that…’ There was history he could have gone into, but the boy needed to get home tonight.

‘And then there’s this Jenny Driscoll situation,’ Eirion said. ‘The woman behind the Vestalia stores? Jenny Driscoll’s discovering Christianity and she’s supposed to have seen an angel over Ledwardine Church. And Jane’s seriously contemptuous of her and all she stands for. Of course, she’d’ve given
anything
to have had that kind of experience herself… So a lot of resentment, lot of anger. Inflamed by all this about her mum not having a normal life – giving everything up for God. Who doesn’t exist anyway, and if he does he’s a complete shit. You know?’

Lol leaned on his elbows on the breakfast bar. ‘She was laying all this on you, day after day?’

‘I wouldn’t mind that if I thought there was anything I could do.’ Eirion looked at Lol, then looked away.

‘But you think there’s something
I
can do.’

‘Well, it’s just that Jane thinks you’re… I’m sorry, Lol… she thinks you and Moira…’ Eirion hesitated, biting his lower lip. ‘Are perhaps having sex,’ he said mournfully. ‘Together. Like musicians do. With the erotic charge of playing together.’

Lol sprang off the stool.

‘Not that she’s
blaming
you. She blames her mother, for neglecting the relationship. Putting God first, as usual, when God’s only going to stab her in the back, if He exists, because He’s a shit, right?’

‘She said any of this to Merrily?’

‘I don’t know. She was so happy about you and her mother finally getting together. She thought
she
’d brought you together. I mean, it’s obvious she really loves her mum, despite all the rows they have. Maybe the only person she does truly love. I mean I… I was thinking, isn’t it just maybe a lot more simple to think that maybe she’s found somebody else?’ Eirion shook his head. ‘Look at me – you’d think we were married or something, wouldn’t you? I mean, there’s bound to be someone else at some point, isn’t there? It’s what happens. Childhood sweethearts, twin souls – that’s pathetic, isn’t it?’

‘Eirion…’ Jesus, Jane thought Lol and Moira Cairns were having sex. ‘Would it be OK if I talked to Merrily about this?’

‘Well, I would hate it if she thought I was hoping she’d, you know, intercede on my behalf, but…’ Eirion sat there, wearing his school uniform, his puppy fat, his dismal expression. ‘It’s just that Jane… Suddenly all she sees is darkness, doom, nothing amazing out there any more. Mrs Watkins has been a bit busy lately. Maybe she hasn’t noticed how bad it’s been getting.’

‘Look, I’m helping Gomer again tomorrow,’ Lol said. ‘Maybe I can call in the vicarage.’

‘I’m really sorry.’ Eirion pushed fingers through his hair and stood up. ‘Lol… look, man, I might be overreacting, all right?’

Lol looked at him, shaking his head. ‘This is
Jane
, Eirion.’ ‘Yes,’ Eirion agreed miserably.

The man had said, ‘She can’t be long, I suppose. Do you want to come in and wait?’ And at first Jane had been completely wrong-footed; this was hardly the kind of issue she could raise in front of both of them together, especially if their marriage was more or less on the rocks. And then she’d thought,
On the other hand…

And had felt suddenly clever and strong, in a thinking-on- your-feet kind of way. In a
let’s use this situation
kind of way.

‘Yeah, OK,’ Jane had said coolly. ‘I suppose I could hang on for a few minutes.’ Following him into the dark-panelled hall and then into… wow…

‘I feel quite embarrassed about bringing anyone in here,’ he’d murmured. ‘I’m afraid my wife’s tastes have become a little minimalist.’

Minimalist.
At once, Jane had liked the way he didn’t talk down to her. Then she learned that this was how he was: serious, saying what he meant.

Just two areas of light: the smoky greenish night in leaded windows and the glowing, crumbly fire built on the hearth – just enough to bring out this oaky feeling of age and strength. No TV or stereo on view, or anything modern or new; and the room was heavy with the oldest aroma in Herefordshire, the rich, sweet scent of apple wood.

In fact, she ought to be in two minds about all this really because, although it felt like the old Ledwardine, this was actually the
new
Ledwardine. Most ordinary people didn’t have the money for this sympathetic, sparing kind of conservation; they just lived
around
the past, with exposed wires along the beams and a Parkray in the inglenook.

Still, Jane had felt immediately at home. Enclosed. He’d taken her fleece to hang up. ‘Sorry about the temperature, but my wife absolutely refuses to have central heating in here. It would damage what she calls the monastic purity.’

‘It’s fine. It’s quite warm.’

‘It’s not
terribly
fine when you have to keep the damn fire going all the time,’ Gareth Box had said, sounding tired at the very thought of it, but with this sort of attractive ashiness in his voice. ‘When I’m here, I tend to build it up and keep it in all night, which I suppose is wasteful nowadays.’

‘Maybe “nowadays” isn’t what this house is about,’ Jane said smoothly. ‘You have to give it what it needs.’

‘Really.’

‘I suppose you don’t get to spend as much time here as you’d like.’

‘I think I probably do,’ he said, ‘actually. This is my wife’s house. She chose it, restored it. With her instinctive taste.’

Yes
, Jane thought now, observing him over her glass,
she at least has taste. Nothing minimalist about
you,
Mr Box.

The two Tudor-looking chairs were facing one another, either side of the fire, and were actually more comfortable than they looked, and when you sat down you felt kind of
transported back
. Especially with a glass of wine in your hand – red, full- bodied, naturally.

And especially when you were served by Gareth Box because – call this corny but, with his collarless white shirt and black jeans, his longish hair and his heavy, wide moustache – there really was something of the cavalier about him. Sitting down opposite Jane, pouring himself a glass of this serious wine and standing the bottle on the fairly rudimentary oak table by the side of his chair, he looked far more suited to this house than the insubstantial Jenny Driscoll ever could.

A weary cavalier, though, perhaps depleted by civil war.

‘I’m sorry.’ He held an arm towards the fire to see his watch; there was no clock in the room. ‘She really should’ve been back by now. Seems to have very little awareness of the passage of time these days.’

Jane felt his gaze on her, like a touch.

‘Look… Jane… There isn’t anything
I
can help you with, is there? I feel awful now, wasting your time.’

Wasting
my
time? Oh, I really don’t think so
.

G
OMER FINALLY
TOOK off his cap and sat down at the refectory table. He seemed to have lost weight, the way he had just after Minnie died. His glasses were dulled.

Merrily glanced into the scullery, with Ethel floating around her shins. No sign of Jane anywhere. ‘Gone up to her apartment, I expect. Can I at least do you some toast?’

‘Tea’ll be fine, vicar.’

‘See how you feel afterwards.’ She moved around switching lamps on, then went to put the kettle on, quite glad that the kid wasn’t around. She didn’t want Gomer inhibited.

‘Oughter’ve told the cops straight away. But he was already mad as hell at me, that boy. And it was all confused, some folk near-hysterical. Bloody pandemonium.’

‘I can imagine.’

As soon as they’d left the church grounds, he’d emptied it all out for her, no flam, no excuses. He’d been mad as hell that night, see – likely with himself. Couldn’t hold himself back, even in public.

She remembered the location, under the pylon, could conjure the scene from what Lol had told her: the cops trying to conceal their panic at having lost a murderer. Local people all over the place, smudging the picture as Roddy Lodge went weaving between the flashlight beams, fast and lithe on his own territory, used to moving by night, covering a lot of ground very quickly. Easily avoiding the police, because they’d be watching all the possible exits, certainly not the pylon at the far end, fully enclosed and no way out but up.

Only Gomer, who was outside the action, having left Lol to do the spadework, had seen him go. Catching up with his enemy at the foot of the pylon. Seizing his chance, keeping his voice low.

You told ’em yet, boy?

You mad ole fuck!
Gomer asking the vicar to pardon his French, but that was what Lodge had called him:
Mad ole fuck
.

At the time, he’d been edging Lodge back towards the giant girdery legs of the pylon, telling him,
You’re goin’ down anyway. Why’n’t you just tell ’em the bloody truth ’bout what you done to my depot? What you done to Nev. Tell the truth, boy, just once in your nasty, lyin’, cheatin’ little bloody life
.

Lodge’s eyes swivelling all over the place, Lodge in his bright orange overalls. But it was dark here, no coppers anywhere near, just Gomer standing his ground.

Fuckin’ kill you, ole man, you don’t get out my way.

Gomer not moving. Merrily could imagine all the scattered lights in the field gathering in his glasses as he raised himself up to his full five feet four, glaring up into Lodge’s concave face.

Oh aye? What you gonner kill me with? Got a can o’ petrol on you, is it, sonny?

Half a second for it to get through, and then Lodge had come for him, come at Gomer, rage going through his whole body – you could feel the electricity of it, Gomer would swear. And in the shock of it he’d backed away, giving just enough ground for Lodge to straighten out an arm, his open hand going flat into Gomer’s face, ramming the glasses tight into Gomer’s eyes, into his nose. And then Lodge had hissed out the typically crowing, boastful sentences that proved he’d had nothing whatsoever to do with the death of Nevin Parry.

Course I done it, you ole fuck. Been over to fuckin’ Ledwardine loads o’ times, look. Got clients all over that village – rich bastards. Hadn’t
planned
to torch your place, but I’d got a coupler minutes spare that night
.

Then a final contemptuous push, leaving Gomer on his back in the mud, and then Lodge was off and away – up the pylon, though Gomer didn’t know that at the time, as he heaved himself to his feet, straightening his specs, winded, unsteady. But perhaps it had been his brain that was most battered, by what he’d heard.

No wonder he’d been so quiet for days, hanging round Minnie’s grave.

Merrily put the kettle on the stove and came to sit down opposite him. She was remembering Lol’s graphic description of the exchange between Roddy Lodge up in the pylon and Gomer on the ground – Lol recalling Gomer’s opening challenge as completely as if it was the first line of one of his own songs.

Where was it you set that fire, boy? Where’d you go? Where was it you went Monday night?

‘You just couldn’t believe it, could you?’ she said.

‘Couldn’t be sure I’d yeard it right,’ Gomer said. ‘Well, I
was
sure, see, but then I’m thinking mabbe he was – ’scuse me, vicar – pissing up my leg, so to speak.’

‘I don’t think he was ever that clever, do you?’

No. Lodge had surmised that, because Gomer lived in Ledwardine, that was also where his depot was. Aggressively admitting to something he hadn’t done just to get the little guy out of his way, and simultaneously proving his innocence. And how had Gomer reacted? He’d straightened his glasses and gone to the pylon to seek confirmation.