The Lawyer (5 page)

Chapter 10

              “Elizabeth, can I see you for a moment, please?” I heard Alex calling me from his office, and I noticed for the first time that he had left his door ajar this morning. That was unusual, considering that he generally kept the door closed tightly and made it a point to almost slam the darn thing when he came inside in the mornings.
              I stood quickly, smoothed my skirt, and entered his office with a smile. “Yes?” I asked meekly. I was still tired and worn out from the previous day’s events. My sleep had been fitful and although the motel was a cheap dump, it had offered me a quiet space to try to collect my thoughts and figure out how I felt about things. Despite the alone time I’d had, my eyes were still swollen from crying and I didn’t think my makeup was doing the best job of hiding the puffiness.
              “Come in and have a seat,” Alex welcomed me from behind a huge stack of papers. I sat obediently and waited for him to say something. “I just wanted to apologize again for my hastiness yesterday. My father and I are dealing with a particularly demanding client who requires the utmost discretion.”
              “It’s really fine, Alex,” I started. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
              He held up a hand to stop me, though. “I think it is a big deal,” he said, “but I’d like to make it up to you. Would you be available to have dinner with me tonight?”
              I silently ran through a breakdown of my classes and realized there was nothing to keep me from saying “no” to Alex tonight. “Sure,” I said after a moment. “That sounds lovely.”
              “Are you sure Tim won’t mind? He’s quite welcome to along if he would like to.”
              Ugh. Tim. I wondered for a second if I should pipe up to Alex about that, but it didn’t seem like an appropriate time. After all, was it really right to dump your relationship problems on your boss? Even though Alex was incredibly handsome and I had always been attracted to him, I didn’t want to play the damsel. Not today.
              “No, he won’t mind and he can’t make it, but thank you for offering. That was kind of you,” I said cordially.
              “Fantastic.” Alex nodded with satisfaction. “I’ll send a car to pick you up at 7.”
              Darn! I had forgotten how weird Alex was about being polite. I didn’t want to tell him that I was living in the shabby motel a few blocks away. “That’s okay,” I said quickly, “I’ll meet you there.” Alex gave me a questioning look but finally nodded.
              “All right, I was thinking of going to Lalla.”
              Lalla? That was only the most delicious restaurant I’d ever eaten at. Their salads were exquisite, their steaks were divine, and their chicken? Out of this world. “I love that place!” I nearly squealed with excitement.
              “Are you sure you don’t want a ride?” Alex queried. “It’s a bit out of your way.”
              “No, that’s okay. I’ll meet you there.”
              “Liz,” Alex wasn’t going to let this go. “Is everything okay?”
              “Everything’s fine,” I waved my hand as I turned to leave the room. “I just have a few things to do before dinner so it would be easiest to meet you there.”
              Without waiting for an argument or a too-long discussion, I quickly fled back to my own office and slipped into my seat. With a soft sigh, I let myself sink into the comfortable chair and I couldn’t help but smile that Alex and I were going to dinner. Just yesterday he had told me I looked beautiful and while I had loved the attention and the compliment, I hadn’t let myself dwell on it.
              Now, in the quiet space of my waiting room, my office, my job, I let myself.
              And it felt really good.
**

             
I smoothed my dress and stared at myself in the mirror. With a deep breath, I realized I was as ready as I’d ever be. At my last dinner with Alex, I had been in a tangible, real relationship and had behaved in such a way. Not this time. This time I was free to be my own woman, free to flirt and laugh the way I wanted to, free to behave in a way that was
not
becoming of a woman in a relationship.
              My hands jittered and shook the entire drive to the restaurant, and although I found a parking spot quickly, I found myself hesitating to go inside. I sat in the car and stared at Lalla’s. The sconces glowed and the large windows revealed couple after couple laughing, drinking, and enjoying the night. I had butterflies in my stomach tonight, something I hadn’t experienced since I was a teenager. I took a deep breath and finally got out of my car.
              I knew Alex only thought of me as an employee now, but I couldn’t help hoping that something more would happen tonight. Could he ever see me as more than just his receptionist? Would he ever be attracted to me? Sure, he had said I was beautiful, but for all I knew he said it to everyone. Maybe Alex was a player. Obviously, I didn't have the best judgment in men. I probably shouldn't trust myself or my emotions, especially not tonight. With a sigh, I pushed open the door to the restaurant and told the hostess my name.
              “I’m here to meet Alex Smith. I’m not sure if he’s already arrived or not but I think he had a reservation.” The young girl looked me up and down briefly, almost so indiscreetly that I wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t already feel self-conscious. I wasn’t underdressed by any means, but I also didn’t look nearly as fancy as some of the women wearing little black dresses three sizes too small.
              “Mr. Smith has already been seated,” the hostess told me with a thin smile. “I’ll show you to
his
table.”
              "Wait," I said, grabbing her arm gently.
              She looked at me with a combination of surprise and distrust.
              "I'm really sorry, and I know it's weird, but do I look okay?"
              The woman's face softened as she leaned in and whispered, "Sweetie, you look amazing. You're going to knock his socks off."
              Without another word, she led me swiftly through the crowded restaurant to a small, second-floor table in a secluded corner. I wondered if Alex usually reserved this table and, more importantly, I wondered how often he brought other women here. I tried not to be jealous. For all I knew, Alex was a virgin. Or gay. But somehow I didn’t think either was true.
              “Good evening, Mr. Smith. Your guest has arrived.” Alex stood and pulled my chair out for me like the gentleman that he was. He had changed from his work attire but was still dressed in a nice suit, only tonight he wore red converse with that suit.
              “I like the Doctor Who shout-out,” I commented on his shoes as he kissed me lightly on the cheek and pushed my chair in for me. He sat with a pleased smile and placed his cloth napkin in his lap.
              “Ah, a fellow Whovian,” he commented with pleasure. “A woman after my own heart.”
              I blushed and smiled slightly, picking up my menu to breeze over my options. Before I could even
think
about what to order, a waiter appeared and flourished two glasses of wine in front of us.
              “To a wonderful evening,” Alex nodded at me as he lifted his glass. We knocked them together, careful not to spill any wine, and each took a long, deep sip. The wine tasted smooth and fresh. I guessed it was expensive. I wasn’t much of a wine person, but this was exquisite.
              “To a wonderful evening,” I murmured as I continued to glance over the menu. By the time the waiter returned, I was ready to order. Alex ordered a steak and several appetizers. I stuck with chicken and a side salad. While everything at Lalla was exquisite, I wasn’t exactly ready for something too challenging to eat. I wanted to make a good impression with Alex – not ruin it because I couldn’t cut my steak or kept spilling soup on myself.
              When the waiter had left, Alex smiled brightly at me. “So how do you like working for me?”
              “I love it,” I told him honestly. The words flew out of my mouth before I had even thought about them. It was true. I loved the hours, the pay, and Alex was no eyesore to look at.
              “But?”
              “No but,” I told him. “I really love it. You’re great. The hours are good. I have no complaints.”
              “How does that boyfriend of yours feel about you being a big-shot receptionist?” Alex raised an eyebrow at me. Did he know? Was this honest conversation or did he have any idea about what had happened? I knew there was no way that he could tell. I still didn’t feel ready to jump into any hoopla about my relationship status – or lack thereof – but I didn’t really have any reason to hide it. At least if he knew, Alex would feel comfortable flirting with me openly. Not that he didn’t already do that, but if he knew I was single, the flirting would be different. It might lead somewhere, and I didn’t know if I was ready to go there with Alex.
              “What boyfriend would you be speaking of?” I asked as I began to break off of piece of a roll. The butter knife shook in my hand as I trembled and tried to apply butter. Placing a cool palm on the top of my hand, Alex took both the bread and the knife and buttered my roll for me. He handed it back calmly, gently, and let his hand linger just a bit as he met my gaze.
              “What happened?”
              I sighed, trying hard not to cry. I wanted to so badly, to just let the pain out. How had I been so easy to replace? How had I been so easy to cheat on? How had I been so easy to throw away? Tim had viewed me as completely and totally replaceable. I had thought, for a long time, that he had loved me, that we had something special. But I had been very, very wrong.
              “Life happened, I guess," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
              “I thought you two seemed pretty serious,” Alex commented, suddenly seeming compassionate and gentle. He always had such a tough exterior, but I supposed that was necessary when you were a lawyer. You could be the sweetest guy in the world, but you couldn't show it. Not in the legal world. There the only thing that mattered was being firm and powerful. There you had to be strong.
              “I thought we were." I paused before adding, "We broke up yesterday and I moved out. There’s really nothing to be salvaged.”
              “Were you having a lot of problems?”
              “Nope. Just one giant problem named ‘Sandy’ that I didn’t anticipate, I suppose.”
              “I’m sorry, Liz. That’s really tough.” Alex reached across the table and placed his hand on top of mine. I stared at his bright, snow-white watch, the paleness of his skin, and the tiny freckle just beneath his pinky finger. I tried not to enjoy the way that his skin rubbed against mine. I tried not to think about the way that Alex sent goose bumps throughout my entire body.
              “I’ll be okay, but thanks, Alex.”
              “Do you need a place to stay?” Ah, the offer. Alex was a gentleman and I wondered if he would offer to let me stay with him. I didn’t want to intrude. I barely knew him. Yes, he was gorgeous, rich, kind, and handsome, but was that really what I needed right now? Every part of me wanted to scream "yes," but it seemed like such a bad idea. What if he had expectations that I couldn't meet? What if he wanted more from me than I was ready to give? What if he viewed me
only
as a roommate and nothing more? I had so many unrelated and unexplained emotions running through my head that any decision seemed like it could be a wrong decision.
              I shook my head softly, knowing it wasn't a great idea. Mixing business with pleasure was one thing. Moving in with my boss was another, especially right after a breakup.
              “I got a room at the Hotel Blue.” I knew before I had even finished speaking how the conversation would end.
              “At the Hotel Blue? No, no, you can’t stay there. Liz. Honestly now, that’s not a safe place to stay.” He shook his head slightly as he sipped his wine, looking concerned.
              “It’s not that bad, really.” It was true. The room was clean and it was fairly quiet. Sure, there might be a few hookers wandering around the lobby, but that really didn’t bother me as long as they didn’t wander their way into my bedroom.
              “I have a guest room. Please, you should stay with me.” He offered again. "It wouldn't be any trouble at all."
              “Okay.” The word slipped out before I could stop it, and I pursed my lips together immediately. Alex looked nearly as surprised as I was about my easy acceptance of his offer.
              “No arguments?”
              “No arguments.” I raised my glass and he did the same.
              It was going to be a wonderful adventure.

Chapter 12

              The blankets on my new bed were soft and warm. I shifted in them, happily, letting my entire body relax as I melted into them. It seemed strange to live in a place as comfortable as all this. I avoided thinking about whether it was the “good” or “right” or “proper” choice in staying with Alex. I was, after all, a grown woman. If I wanted to stay at a man’s house and make adult decisions, I was old enough to do so. Was I making the right choice? No matter how much I told myself I wouldn’t think about it, the thought kept creeping back in. Was I making a huge mistake? Would Alex break my heart, too? Jumping from one boy’s bed into another’s didn’t seem like the wisest choice, but at this moment, in these soft blankets, I didn’t really care.
              The “guest room” that Alex had offered me had turned out to be much more than that. In fact, it was more like a guest apartment than a guest room. It was fully furnished not only with a bed, dresser, and desk, but also with a mini kitchen, table and chairs, and full bathroom. There was even a stackable washer and dryer set in one corner of the room. I felt like I was in apartment heaven. The walls were bright and colorful and almost every inch was adorned with paintings and pictures. I loved how full and vibrant it was. I couldn’t imagine ever being in a bad mood, not in this room.
              I’d never lived in a place this nice before and to be honest, part of me didn’t want to leave. Part of me just wanted to stay forever and enjoy this. I knew, though, that it couldn’t last. At some point I would have to start being a grown up and find my own place, but I wasn’t going to think about that today. Not today. Today I was going to stay in my room all day long and just enjoy the peace and quiet I had finally found. I wiggled my toes under the sheets and nuzzled my head deeper into my pillow. This was the life. No joke about that.
              A knock at the door, and I was ripped from my solitude.
              “Come in,” I called out.
              Alex appeared in the doorway, still wearing pajamas. I’d never seen him without his business attire on. He’d always been professional and primped. Today his hair was disheveled and his loose black t-shirt hung just past the waistband on his checkered pajama pants. I couldn’t help but smile. Had he always been this sexy? I was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to grab him, to kiss him, to pull him into bed and make him lay with me all morning, but where was the appropriateness in that? Where was the acceptableness? Was I really going to be the girl who got out of one relationship and instantly jumped into another?
              “Good morning,” Alex smiled, leaning against the doorway. I was suddenly quite aware of my own attire: a skimpy t-shirt and pajama shorts. I bit my bottom lip nervously. I wonder if he liked the way I looked.
              “Hi.”
              “How’d you sleep?”
              “Great. I slept great. Everything about this room is just…wow. Thank you so much again, really. Seriously. I really appreciate it.”
              He laughed heartily, taking a step into the room and toward the bed. A moment later and he was next to me, sitting next to me.
              “You’re welcome.”
              And there he was. Beside me. Almost touching me, but not quite. And I could smell his cologne still drifting from the night before. I lifted my hand and rested it on his knee. He was staring at me, deeply, looking into my eyes and I couldn’t look away.
              “Alex-“ I started to say, but he pressed a finger to my lips and told me to stop.
              “You don’t have to say anything. I like you.”
              I smiled. “You do?”
              “Isn’t it obvious? You should have known from the moment I first met you how I felt about you. You’re amazing.”
              I felt my heart leap from my chest and up into my throat. Was he for real? I had thought, hoped, wanted him to. I had resisted it for so long, but I didn’t want to anymore. And to be fair, now I didn’t have to. So what if I had only just broken up with my boyfriend? Was falling into the arms of another man really so wrong? We both felt passionately about each other. I could see it in his eyes, and as he placed his own hand on top of mine, I didn’t want to keep resisting.
              I looked up and lifted my chin ever-so-slightly.
              He didn’t hesitate.
              His lips were warm and moist. His kiss started soft, but then he kissed me deeper, running his hands up through my hair and resting them on the back of my head. He pulled me in closer, letting one hand drift to my lower back just under my shirt. I paused, biting my lower lip, opening my eyes. He was looking at me in a way I’d never seen him look at me before. He was looking at me with passion, with excitement, with yearning.
              And I felt it too.
              I closed my eyes and kissed him again, letting his hands drift higher up the back of my shirt, letting one settle softly on my rear. I traced the side of his face slowly with one finger, my other hand resting on his chest. Even through his pajamas I could feel the hardness of his abs: the reward of spending so much time at the gym.
              And then he stopped, and he pulled away, and he smiled.
              “That’s enough for now,” he told me.
              “No,” I murmured, not wanting him to leave, not wanting to give up on this moment.
              “There will be plenty more of that later,” Alex whispered softly in my ear. His warm breath poured over me and I felt a tingle rush through my body. When was the last time I had felt a rush like this? When was the last time I had felt a tingle like this? When was the last time someone had made me quiver in anticipation the way that he did?
              “I don’t want you to go,” I whispered. My eyes pleaded with him to stay just a few more minutes, but he did not indulge me.
              "You just got out of a relationship," he told me. "We should take things slow. I care about you, Liz, and I truly respect you: enough for me to wait for you."
              I tried not to roll my eyes. What was this? A 1930s romance? I was an adult. I didn't have to
wait
to jump into another relationship, but despite my inner protests, I knew he was right. We should at least wait until I moved out, right? We should at least wait until I had my own place, had things figured out, had established some sort of identity for myself apart from Tim.
              "Stay just a little longer," I whispered to Alex. Things didn't have to go far. We could just sit together, just spend a little bit of the morning together.
              But Alex didn't stay. Instead, with a soft kiss on my forehead, he turned and left the room as quickly as he had come.