The Librarian Principle (23 page)

“Age difference? You’re hardly old.”

“I’ve got a decade on you, and as you’ve probably noticed, I can be somewhat of a domineering asshole at times. I thought that would be a deterrent as well.”

“Apparently I like domineering, asshole-ish older men.”

“Lucky for me.”

Liese narrowed her eyes, and he had the decency to look somewhat remorseful.

“Then I saw those pictures and, Christ, I’d been so close to the breaking point so many times already. It was . . . challenging to be near you and not give in to the compulsion to do something about the way I felt. I couldn’t have stopped myself at that point if I tried.”

“If you felt that strongly, why were you so cold the morning after?” Liese asked. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. “I was humiliated.”

“It wasn’t my intention to ignore you after you spent the night at my place.”

“You mean the night you spanked and fucked me?” Liese took another gulp of wine, the crassness of her comment appalling even her.

His eyebrows climbed his forehead. “Are you telling me you didn’t want that? Because I certainly didn’t hear you complaining.”

“There was nothing to complain about until you acted like a giant douchebag the next morning.”

His shoulders curved forward, reminding her of the painting in his house, the one where the subject looked so forlorn and innocent. “I haven’t handled this situation well. I didn’t want to pretend nothing happened, but I wasn’t sure what your expectations would be. I had no idea how to manage the way I felt, and talking about it . . .” He paused, pensive. “I’m sorry we didn’t discuss it that morning. I’d planned to before I left, but I got sidetracked, and we ran out of time.”

Liese remembered just what “sidetracked” had looked and felt like. “That sounds awfully close to a cop-out to me.”

“
I don’t mean for it to be. I had no intention of making you feel like you were just some fling,” he said.

“
The note you left didn’t help.”

Ryder leaned in, but she recoiled and tucked her feet between the couch cushions. He withdrew. “I never wanted to hurt you, or make you think I have anything but the highest regard for you. It took until the evening at the bar for me to realize what an insensitive, self-absorbed jerk I’ve been.”

Liese felt her cheeks color with embarrassment. With deliberate slowness, he reached out and skimmed the top of her hand with his fingertips.

“
I want to try to make it better. Unless, of course, you’re no longer interested . . .”

She picked at a loose thread on her cuff. She yearned to take him up on his offer to fix things, now that it definitely seemed like he wanted to, but fear of being hurt by him made her cautious. “I don’t know, Ryder.”

“
Is it because of Stone?”

She hesitated longer than necessary just to see him squirm. “We’ve been over this. What is it going to take for you to believe me when I tell you it’s not like that with him?”

“
My history with him makes it difficult.” Ryder shifted closer. “I’m not sure if you’re aware—”

“
That you went to high school together? I found that out on Friday.”

“
Ah. I see.” He picked at his untucked shirt. “So Stone’s informed you about our previous interactions?”

“
You mean when you punched him out?”

“
He wasn’t the only one to incur damage.” Ryder’s tongue touched the scar on his lip. “Did he also make you aware of the reason behind the violence?”

“
He might have mentioned you had a crush on the same girl.”

Ryder’s expression hardened. “It wasn’t a crush. She and I had been dating for several months. I’d been under the impression we were exclusive.”

“
I didn’t realize—”

Ryder waved her off, as if the whole thing were inconsequential. “It’s irrelevant now. But I can’t tell you how paranoid I’ve been, thinking I pushed you right into the mouth of the lion. The way he’s always touching you, always around you . . . I wondered if I’d taken things too far, especially with the spanking—” He chuckled darkly, but there was no humor when he spoke. “Of course, I know I’ve already gone too far. This is probably the last place I should be, but I can’t pretend this thing between us doesn’t exist.”

“
Well, that would be difficult since we work in the same building.” Precisely the reason she’d thought it best not to pursue this with him.

“
You’d be surprised at how little I see some of the staff. I could avoid you entirely if I wanted to.”

“
But you don’t want to do that?”

“
Definitely not. As aware as I am of the peril of this relationship, I want you, unquestionably.” Ryder edged closer until his knee touched her leg.

His affirmation of the danger reinforced her worries, as did the way her colleagues continued to gossip about the demise of the teacher who’d been with a principal. She didn’t want to tarnish her reputation or run the risk of not being able to secure another position if things went horribly wrong. And based on her relationship history, the possibility wasn’t all that outlandish.

“
What if it doesn’t work?”

“What if it does?”

Liese met his pleading gaze. He looked as vulnerable as she felt. It might be the worst decision she’d ever made in her life, but she couldn’t ignore how well they seemed to fit together, both in and out of bed.

“We’ll have to be very careful, won’t we?”

“Extraordinarily.”

“I’ll need a new advisor, won’t I?”

“That would probably be for the best.” Ryder’s fingers trailed gently along the contour of her cheek down to her chin. He leaned in, lips hovering close, but paused just short of contact. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes. It’s a yes.”

“I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am to hear you say that.” Ryder smiled against her lips.

“You can be very compelling when you want to be.” Liese put her palm on his chest.

He put his hand over hers, twining their fingers together. “I’m rather lucky I can talk my way out of my own idiocy, and even more fortunate you’re so understanding.”

“I am very understanding, aren’t I?” Liese agreed.

“Very.” Ryder raised her hand and placed a soft kiss there, his lips warm even against her heated skin.

“It wouldn’t do you any harm to express your gratitude for my unparalleled understanding,” she added.

Ryder prowled over her, covering her body with his. Nudging her thighs apart, he settled between them and cradled the back of her head in his hand.

“How does this feel to you?” He nipped at her bottom lip, the sensual swivel of his hips bringing his erection flush against her.

Liese sighed, tilting her hips up to add to the friction she needed. She wanted to punish him for having been so imperceptive, but her own need took charge. He moved against her, a slow, stroking rhythm that took her higher, but not high enough.

“Ryder,” she groaned, arching into him. She should make him wait a little longer before she invited him to her bed—like five minutes, give or take a minute or two.

He shifted, robbing her of his delicious weight. Gentle fingertips traced her thigh to the waistband of her pants. He slipped his hand beneath the fabric, passing over bare skin to dip lower. Liese followed with her own hand, covering his as though he might stop. The notion was ridiculous, because his actions told her he had no intention of doing any such thing.

Warm, strong fingers slid inside her, bringing her to the edge over and over again until she was writhing, begging for the release she craved. The press of his thumb and the curl of his fingers, combined with dirty promises of future orgasms, sent her headlong into the abyss of pleasure.

When she surfaced, Ryder smiled down at her. “Have I sufficiently expressed my gratitude?”

“It’s a start.” Liese ran her hand down his chest, but he caught it before she could get past his belt buckle.

“That’s not necessary.” He sat up, pulling her with him.

Her eyes went to his pants, where his erection strained against the wine-dampened fabric. “It looks pretty necessary to me.” She tried to extricate her hand from his grasp, but he held on tighter. Instead of fighting his hold, Liese maneuvered her body to straddle him. He groaned at the contact, and his head fell back against the cushions.

He released her wrist, his hands moving to her hips to keep her still. “Really,” he rasped, “I’d rather you didn’t do that.”

“I think your cock begs to differ.”

He let loose an expletive as he lifted his head, his lids heavy. His fingers dug into her hips—not painfully, but with enough pressure that Liese knew his control was tenuous. Why he held back she had no idea, but curiosity made her compliant.

“I’m sure it does.” He cleared his throat. “However, before I can in good conscience permit my cock the exquisite pleasure of your touch.” He paused to breathe. “I would like to take you on a date.”

“A date?”

“Mm-hmm, a date,” Ryder repeated.

“Uh, not that I don’t want to go on a date with you, because it sounds really nice, but don’t you think that’s going to be difficult to pull off considering how small Fullerton is? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a covert dating operation?”

“Fortunately, I have a car.”

“Right. Good point.”

“Will you let me take you out?” Ryder looked so hopeful Liese didn’t have the heart to say no, even though she worried.

“When?”

“How about tomorrow?”

“I can’t. We have rehearsal for the play after school. It usually runs late.” Liese grimaced. Blake again.

Surprisingly, Ryder didn’t say anything derogatory. “Wednesday I have a meeting. What about Thursday?”

“I’m free then.”

“Perfect. I can pick you up just after six?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Ryder grinned and patted her bottom. “I should go.”

“What? Why?” Liese wrapped her arms around his neck as he stood. She tried to do the same with her legs, but they were still rubbery post-orgasm and wouldn’t comply. Instead they slid down the outside of his thighs until her feet touched the floor. “It’s not even that late. You could stay a little longer.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Ryder clenched his teeth as she rubbed shamelessly against his erection. “You see, if I do, I run the risk of taking you against the closest surface, and that just happens to be the coffee table.”

“That sounds fun.”

Ryder wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly to him. “My fear is that in my current state I won’t be able to control myself.” Ryder kissed her neck, his fingers trailing a slow line down her spine. “And the possibility that I might inadvertently break your lovely table as I fuck you until you see stars doesn’t sit well with me.”

Despite her telling him how much she loved stars and wouldn’t miss her coffee table, if it happened to break, he remained resolute. Liese remained a bit baffled. It seemed pointless to wait when clearly they both wanted the same thing.

To make matters worse, Ryder’s stupid conscience kicked in, and he instituted a clause stipulating no post-date sleepover for Thursday. He said he intended to prove he was serious about wanting more from her than just spankings and sex. Liese smiled, and at first she thought she’d found a loophole: there were a million locations on which to fornicate that didn’t involve a bed. But then he clarified that he meant no getting naked in any way. No naked, no sex. Not on this next date.

Getting out of an agreement with Ryder would be similar to trying to escape from a straitjacket. When he set his mind to something, he didn’t back down. Stubborn sexy asshole. No matter; two could play at that game. She’d be sure to make adhering to his clause as difficult as possible.

Liese spent the days leading up to Thursday attempting to act nonchalant at work, which proved difficult. She limited her visits to the main office as much as possible but still ended up running into Ryder. Every time she saw him, lurid fantasies popped into her head, her imagination running wild. Ryder’s “no hanky-panky” clause was going to be a giant problem.