The Lies We Tell (18 page)

Sia could hear the buzz of Todd’s voice, but not the words. Judging by the pallor on Paul’s face, what he was saying wasn’t nice.

“Mate, you’ve got it all wrong. It wasn’t her idea, it was her Dad’s. She’s —“

Todd’s voice rose in volume — that was clear even though the phone was cradled against Paul’s face. Obviously he didn’t agree with Paul’s assessment and wasn’t prepared to listen.

Sia got up and walked out of the house and down the hill. At first she was too shocked to think, and then emotions overran her. Chief of them was anger.

How dare he believe her guilty of such a thing? How, after everything they’d shared, everything they’d been to each other, could he think she was responsible for plotting something like this?

And just a week ago, she’d been wondering if she was going to fall head over heels in love with him.

Bastard.

She went to the studio to calm herself before she went to get Brock and Ebonny. She paced up and down and got her thoughts in order.

Her family — that was her first, her only priority. From now on, every man needed to understand they came second and forever would. Didn’t like it — didn’t have to stay.

And her painting, of course. She was going to become the toast of the art world, make loads of money and shove it all in Todd Lansing’s face.

The phone rang. She picked it up, expecting it to be Paul, trying to talk to her.

It was Col Hamilton.

“Sia, I’m sorry but I’m calling to inform you that I’ve just placed your father under arrest.”

Sia fell down on a chair. “What?”

“Bathurst called me. His anklet was registering alcohol. I came to the house and found him drunk. That’s a violation of the bail conditions and so I’m escorting him directly to remand. He’ll remain there until the trial.”

“Where are you now?”

“Your place.”

“Can you wait five minutes?”

“Just five.”

As she drove, everything coalesced in her mind. The truth was there, shining brightly before her and she couldn’t believe she’d been so blind.

Col’s car was in the driveway, lights flashing. The neighbours were all out on their lawns, watching.

Frank was sitting in the back of the police car. Sia smelt the alcohol before she saw his red eyes.

“What you want?” Frank muttered.

Sia shook. She shuddered. She took a deep breath to damp down the rage enough so she could act.

Then she leant down to look her drunk father in the eye.

“Fuck you.”

Frank’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Fuck you. You are no longer welcome in this house. In this family. Go to jail and rot.”

She swung around and nodded at Col. “Thank you.”

Col’s lips quivered. “My pleasure.”

Sia stood on her lawn, arms wrapped around her waist and watched her father be taken away. Then she went to collect her brother and sister so they could sleep safely in their own beds.

The day of Frank’s trial dawned bright and sunny. An omen, Sia thought, considering it had rained every day for the two weeks since he was taken back into custody.

She, Sienna, Mary and Charles all went into Bathurst together. They’d all been called as witnesses for the defence, there to show how emotional Frank had been, how he couldn’t have controlled his actions.

Outside the witness room Sia took a deep breath, knowing that at any moment she’d see Todd again. Sure enough, he was sitting at the back of the room, staring down at the ground. Chin up, face bland, Sia marched over to a chair and sat down. She pulled her magazine out of her handbag and started to flick through it, proud that outwardly she’d maintained an aura of calm indifference to his presence.

Inwardly, there was nothing calm about her reaction. He was wearing the suit he’d worn that first night they made love, damn him. The jacket she’d almost torn off his shoulders. The pants that she’d unzipped so she could stroke his erection and drive him mad.

She’d been very proud of the fact she’d not given Todd a single thought since he’d left — during waking hours. In her dreams, he was a constant presence. His touch, his taste, the sweet fulfilment of the first glide of his cock into her — she’d relived it every night.

Sia was starting to wonder if she should seek treatment for a sex addiction.

The room was very quiet — no one there, whatever the case they were speaking to, was willing to chat with others. Perhaps it was the presence of the court official, watching to ensure that at this moment they couldn’t collude.

One by one, people were called. Witnesses for the other cases were all done before Frank’s were. When Sienna was summoned, the closed door signalled the first time Sia and Todd had been alone together since their fight.

Sia wondered what he’d say — how could he even begin to apologise. After several minutes, it became clear that Todd had no intention of talking to her.

She wasn’t going to let him get away with that.

“I’m not pregnant.” She flipped a page of her magazine.

“What?” Todd surged forward, almost falling off his chair.

Sia looked up at his wide eyes and pale skin and wondered why the reaction. “I. Am. Not. Pregnant.”

“Christ.” He slumped. “I just heard pregnant and thought you were.”

“Nice to know how you feel about it.” Sia tried to focus back on the magazine but the words blurred and danced across the page.

“You can’t blame me for that. We used a condom always, it shouldn’t happen.”

“Condoms aren’t one hundred percent. Personally, I wouldn’t have been surprised if a couple of the suckers broke free that afternoon in the garden. You were rather —” She paused to find the right word. “Forceful.”

A glance at Todd revealed he was sitting rigid in the seat, staring at her with unbelieving eyes.

Good, she thought.

“It occurs to me that we enacted your fantasy, but mine never got fulfilled. Oh well, guess I’ll have to pursue that with my next lover.” She flicked another page of the magazine.

“Christ, Sia.” What was that in his voice — desperation? Despair? Lust?

“By the way, you owe me for the painting.”

“What?” He was back at the edge of the seat again.

“I wouldn’t harp on it noindently, but we need the money for the move.”

“Move? What move?”

“The move to Wollongong.”

Todd stood. Sia bent her head to hide her smile and turned another page, although she’d long stopped reading.

“You’re moving to Wollongong?”

“Me, Sienna, Brock and Ebonny.”

“Why?”

“Well, Sienna likes the courses on offer at the university there. I like that there’s a thriving arts community and it’s an easy train ride to the centre of Sydney, so I can do the networking I need to do for my career. But most of all, we’re hoping it’s far enough away that when Dad gets out of jail he’ll decide not to bother following us.”

Silence. She snuck another glance and Todd was staring at her, his mouth gaping open.

There was a lot of satisfaction to be gained from shocking people so thoroughly, she thought.

The door opened. “Todd Lansing,” the bailiff said in a clear tone.

Todd didn’t move. Didn’t respond. Sia jerked her head in the direction of the door. “That’s you.”

Todd came forward but stopped right in front of her. “Meet me after. We need to talk.”

Sia didn’t look at him but surreptitiously, she leant forward and took a deep breath. As his musky scent filled her senses, she kicked herself for giving in to the sweet torture.

“Todd Lansing.”

“Coming.” He paused, muttered something under his breath, then he strode away.

When the door closed, Sia let out a sigh. So now she’d pushed Todd into wanting to talk to her. She wasn’t so sure she wanted to listen.

Of course you do, a part of her whispered. You’re desperate to listen.

Shut up, she told it.

When finally she was called, Sia was finding it hard to fight the nerves. Sitting in the dock, looking out of the courtroom, she clamped her hands together to try and maintain a serene disposition.

After she was sworn in, Frank’s lawyer started questioning her and Sia responded honestly. She told of the art exhibition and how she and her friends had gone to the pub to celebrate after.

She went through as much as she could remember of what Frank had said and did when he came to their table.

“Your father was upset?”

“He seemed so.”

“Why?”

This was the moment Sia had debated in her mind. Sometimes, she envisaged herself dumping her father deep into trouble. Other times she remembered how she’d once take this as a sign to excuse his behaviour.

She’d finally settled on what she considered an approach that wasn’t vindictive but that suited her desire to be honest.

“I don’t know.”

The lawyer blinked. “You don’t know?”

“No. I cannot read minds and my father doesn’t always explain his motivations.”

“But you must have a theory?”

“Objection.” The prosecutor stood. “This witness isn’t qualified to give theories.”

“She’s my client’s daughter, has lived with him all her life. She must have some basis for understanding him.”

“Just because you live with someone doesn’t mean you understand them,” the judge said. “If the witness states she does not know his motivations, then I will accept that. Objection sustained.”

The lawyer gave Sia a dark stare. “Did you father seem in control of his emotions?”

That she could answer truthfully and be good to her father. “No, he didn’t.”

The lawyer nodded. “Then what happened, Miss Collins?”

The story continued. When Sia was telling what Frank had said out on the street, the lawyer cut her off before she could get to his confession of robbing the Lansings.

“Has your father ever done anything like this before, Miss Collins?”

“No.”

“Would you say it’s out of character for him to act like this?”

“Objection. The witness said earlier she doesn’t know her father’s motivations.”

“But she has witnessed his actions and can comment on that.”

“Denied. The witness will answer the question.”

“I’ve never seen my father do anything to damage public property before,” Sia said.

“Thank you.” The lawyer sat and the prosecution rose to cross-examine.

“Miss Collins.” The prosecutor nodded to her. “Has your father ever hit you?”

“Objection.” Frank’s lawyer shot to her feet. “What does that have to do with this case?”

“The defence has brought people forward to speak to Frank Collins’ character. They opened the gate.”

“Objection denied,” the judge said.

“Miss Collins?”

Sia looked at her father. Frank was glaring at her, daring her to say something.

“Yes, he has.”

“Bitch!” The word exploded from Frank. His lawyer put her hand on his arm and urgently whispered in his ear.

“How often?”

“I can’t say,” Sia said.

“Just once? Several times. Regularly, say once a week?”

“Several times.”

“Was he drunk, or sober when he hit you?”

And there it was. If that question had been asked a few weeks earlier, Sia could have answered ‘only when drunk’ and helped build the case of Frank losing inhibitions. But she couldn’t say that now.

“Most of the time, it was when he was drunk.”

“But he has hit you when sober?”

“Yes.”

Frank swore and pushed his lawyer away.

Sia was let go. Rather than sit at the back of the court, where everyone else had gone, she walked right through the doors, down the corridor and outside.

The sun hit her skin, warming her. She smiled, and looked at her watch. Right on time for her appointment.

She turned to head down the street but stopped when Todd stepped in front of her.

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“Well, I’ve recently learnt that you can’t trust men in general. A bit of angst goes a long way.”

Todd winced. “I deserve that, I know. I’ve been an idiot.”

“No argument here.”

He looked around. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“I’m fine here.”

His lips tightened. “Public humiliation. Fair enough, I guess. Sia, I’m sorry. I can’t understand why I reacted the way I did when I saw you with Bubba. By the time I got to Sydney, I knew I’d been an idiot, that you’d never hurt someone like that. Then I didn’t know how to say sorry, how to make it up to you.”

The words settled like a salve on her wounded soul, but she wasn’t going to let him get off that easy. “You didn’t even try.”

“I am now. Sia, I was wrong to believe that of you. I was also wrong to not support you in how you wanted to handle your father. I was so caught up in trying to protect you that I didn’t think about how my actions would make you feel.”

Sia didn’t know how to respond. Part of her wanted to say all was forgiven and throw herself at him, but the large majority of her was still mad.

Todd continued. “I know I’ve got a lot of work to do to make it up to you, but please, just give me a sign that you can forgive me.”

“I’m to reward you for doing what’s right?”

Todd frowned. “No. I just want to know that it’s going to work out.”

“Ah. So you won’t try to fix things without a guarantee of some sort. Sex, for example.”

Todd’s brow furrowed deep. “No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m out on a limb here, and I want a bit of reassurance is all.”

“As you put yourself out there, I can’t see why I should help you.”

“Hello, you two!”

Sia swung around at the new voice. Bubba and his boyfriend Michael were heading toward them. Sia checked her watch again — right on time.

“Hello, princess.” Bubba gave her a big kiss. “And Todd, great to see you. Have the two of you been discussing our big plan?”

Sia looked over her shoulder. How did Todd know Bubba and Michael’s big plan?

“No,” Todd said. “Should we have been?”

“As Sia’s our choice for surrogate, absolutely.” Bubba looked at Sia. “Todd’s been a great support, you know. We’re the first clients of his new business.”

Sia turned back to Todd. “New business?”

“I’m quitting the police force and moving back to Oberon to start an advocacy and support service for gay men.”