The Life Plan (58 page)

Annie asked Greg exactly what it was that he wanted to accomplish. Greg thought it was clear and simple—he wanted to be able to score more points for the team. Yet through a series of questions Annie was able to reveal his real inner goal: If he could play better, and score more points, the kids on the team would like him better and he would feel more accepted. This was a huge discovery, because Greg was already extremely popular. But for him, being accepted by the team was the real value in his desire to make a change.

In the next session, Annie had found a video clip of his favorite basketball star in action. She had Greg watch the video several times and take notice of the movements of the player. Greg already thought he knew everything about this player, but Annie had him concentrate on the sound of the crowd cheering each time the player scored. Then, with Greg’s permission, she guided him into a hypnotic state and instructed him to recall the video, which he did without a problem. Even though I’ve seen Annie work with patients before, the hypnotic state always amazes me. Typically, patients look as if they are in deep relaxation with their eyes closed, yet they are not really sleeping. Greg was no different—he was responding quite normally to Annie, as if he were awake.

She then instructed him to think about the video, and at the same time imagine that the player in the video was really Greg. She instructed him to feel the ball in his hands and feel the sweat running down his back as he dribbled down the court toward the basket. Then she instructed him to “listen” to the crowd cheering as Greg scored basket after basket. She reinforced that the cheering was all for him.

Even in his relaxed state, Greg’s face began to change. He started smiling—at one point he yelled out “Woo!” and held his hand up for a “high five” as if he was celebrating. It was a phenomenal transformation to watch. While he was still in a trance, she asked Greg to describe how he felt. He was able to talk and stated that he felt happy, elated, and powerful! She then anchored this feeling in his subconscious by attaching a color to it—green. As she told him, she pressed firmly on his shoulder. She reminded Greg that green was his school color, and during a game, he would see green everywhere in the gym.

Annie asked Greg to remember that whenever he saw the color green he would recall the feeling of happiness and power, the same feeling he had at that moment. She also reinforced how loved and accepted he was and how he should accept that love because he deserved it. If at any time he started to feel unsure about himself, he could recall this feeling of greatness just by thinking of the color green. His final assignment was a bit of posthypnotic suggestion: Annie suggested that whenever Greg watched professional basketball games, he imagine that he was on the team and realize that he could accomplish anything. She then brought him back to a fully awake and aware state and made sure that he remembered everything that took place during the session.

Annie and I attended the next few games that Greg played in at our local high school, and the difference in his playing was really remarkable. He had more energy and passion than ever. He didn’t make every basket, but he was scoring more than 50 percent of his attempts. Best of all, anyone in the room could tell that he was feeling good about himself, which actually was the real issue.

Hypnotherapy does not always work with just one session. The average is five to six sessions, depending on the issues that need to be addressed. Greg was desperate to create change, which made him a very willing subject. Typically, Annie will create self-hypnosis tapes or CDs for her clients so that afterward, they can use them at home for repetition and reinforcement.

Visualization is probably the strongest component of hypnosis, and the easiest for you to do on yourself. Here’s a little test for you: Quickly, don’t think of a pink elephant! What did you see in your mind’s eye when you read that? If you are in the majority of the population, you immediately saw a pink elephant in your mind.

Now here’s one that involves your senses: Close your eyes and imagine a lemon. It’s big and juicy. Imagine the color, the smell, and the texture. Now imagine you are taking a big bite out of the lemon—imagine the juice squirting into your mouth.

Most people will begin to salivate and many will pucker their mouths. If you did the same, you have just experienced what many call the
mind/body connection.
You can apply this strong connection to your own life. If you want a lean, muscular, and healthy physique, then start visualizing how you would look right now. Any time you think about yourself in this way, your subconscious will believe it, and you will be driven to achieve it.

Here are a few more tips on how you can begin to use visualization. Before you begin, find a quiet place where you will not be interrupted and have a clear understanding of what it is you want to accomplish. Make yourself as comfortable as you can. Then close your eyes and imagine. Make the images vivid, be direct, and say your affirmations with conviction. You don’t always need to talk out loud, but be specific.

Some examples of visualizations I have used are:

I believe that there is no room in life for fear, negativity, or self-punishment. In order to get rid of them, visualize these emotions in your mind. Imagine them to be ugly little monsters. Confront them and kick them out of your life. Visualize them packing their bags and moving out, never to return. Then applaud yourself for a job well done.

We often get worked up over little things. We need to learn how to let go of things that don’t matter. You know what they are and what triggers your reaction. Instead, redirect this wasted time and misplaced emotional energy to areas that will bring value to your life. To do so, visualize yourself in complete balance. Tell yourself,

Visualize your family and friends happy and at ease because you are. Praise yourself for recognizing the good, calm person that you are.

Teach yourself to walk away from dependent, addictive behavior. Visualize your healthy life without cigarettes or alcohol, or whatever your demons are. See yourself as a man who is always in control. Visualize yourself as strong and tall and walking away from all that you know is unhealthy for you. Recognize how good that feels. Congratulate yourself for how strong and in control you are and for choosing to be free of bad habits.

Stress of any kind, if not managed properly, can have devastating effects on your health. Yet getting rid of or eliminating the stress in our lives through hypnosis is simply not possible. I cannot make your nagging boss disappear, or take away your mortgage payments. Managing stress through hypnosis, however, is possible. Annie has helped me change the way I deal with stress, and you can, too.

Believe me, I know that life is stressful. Stress arises from critical events such as the death of a family member or close friend, divorce, financial woes, loss of a job, a car accident, or health issues. The most common source of stress for men seems to be job related. I’ve also learned that some stresses begin as positive changes. Life events such as getting married to the most wonderful person, graduating from college, landing the job you strove for, getting a huge promotion with a substantial salary increase, and starting a family are all good things. However, each comes with a lot of responsibility attached, and with increased responsibility comes an increased level of stress.

The physiological effects of stress on our health are numerous. It can start as simple pain, a stiff neck, headache, upset stomach, backache, difficulty sleeping, and most dangerously, overeating. Soon, the body begins working overtime to combat the ill effects of stress, which then compromises our immune system and leads to chronic fatigue and sickness.

Simply avoiding stress or pretending it’s not there is not the answer. Instead, I’ve found that hypnosis has been an incredibly valuable tool, along with proper nutrition and plenty of exercise. Here’s a simple self-hypnosis, a mindful exercise that I use whenever I’m stressed. Do this exercise for 15 minutes at least twice a day. You can use this whether you are at home or at work. Though it takes only about 15 minutes, the results last much longer.

First, find a quiet area where you will not be disturbed. Turn off your phone. Soft music is okay but not required. Get in your most relaxed position—if you are sitting in a chair, place your feet flat on the floor and rest your hands on your thighs. If you are lying down, relax and rest your hands by your sides. Allow yourself to get as relaxed as possible. Close your eyes and take a few long, deep breaths. Inhale as deeply as possible, pause, and then exhale. Do this three times and with each breath, allow yourself to relax even more.

Now focus
only
on the rhythm of your own breathing and imagine breathing in relaxation, and exhaling tension. Imagine that each breath you bring into your lungs is a positive, calming energy that spreads throughout your entire body. Each time you exhale, imagine releasing any tension you may have inside your body—you know where it is—let it go.

As you become more relaxed, form a circle with your index finger and thumb on both hands (like an “OK” sign). This becomes your anchor, just like when Annie pressed on Greg’s shoulders. Continue to focus only on inhaling relaxation and exhaling tension. As you hold your anchor, repeat to yourself (or out loud) several times:
“Today is a perfect day; I can easily feel calm and relaxed whenever I choose to; I choose to remain calm in all situations.”

Finally, acknowledge yourself several times:
“I inhale peace and relaxation and exhale tension, “
and as you say this, picture/imagine/or see yourself calm and stress free.

Afterward, whenever you find yourself in a stressful situation, make your “OK” sign with one or both hands. It will immediately remind you of the calm, in-control feeling that you experienced in your meditation, and you may find that whatever is stressing you out can be dealt with rationally and calmly.

In a 1962 article published in the
American Journal of Human Genetics,
James Neel coined the phrase “thrifty gene.” He theorized that a gene, advantageous to the survival of our ancestors during times of famine and food scarcity, would be detrimental to our health today due to the prevalence and availability of food. Food is not only a means for survival, but part of our cultural norms. As children we were rewarded with sweets for good behavior or good performance. We quickly learned that eating food not only satisfied hunger, it made us feel good about ourselves. In some cases, food was used as punishment: “If you don’t sit up and eat right, you can just leave the table!” or, “You’ve been so bad today you can go to bed without your dinner.” Food then transformed from friend to enemy, which wasn’t healthy, either.