The Light Between Us (3 page)

But in spite of the primal hunger this woman had managed to resurrect in him, his eyes kept returning to the expression on her face.  It tugged at him, made his heart twist in a way that was less familiar, that was about something other than sex and sweat and another notch on the figurative headboard.  This made him swallow hard, and his veins pulse with something that took him a long moment to place.  At last the word came to him – fear.

He was nervous!  Him, the epic bedder of countless women!  This woman, she made him nervous, of all things.  Derek chuckled into his drink.  How many years – no, decades – had it been since he last felt that?  He couldn't even remember.  But it tickled him that, after all this time, not to mention so many conquests, he could still feel that tickle of anxiety, the terror of “what if.”  To his surprise, itt actually felt more than a little scintillating, even while it remained equally unsettling. 

* * *

“
Dude, that guy is staring at you,” Padme said to Ruth as she, Maddie, and Cecelia returned to their table, breathless from dancing.

Ruth sat up a little straighter, looking around without turning her head, feeling her blood dash faster through her veins.  “There is?  Where?”

“
Oooh, he so is,” Cecelia squealed, following Padme's nod toward a table in the the next closest corner to their own. 

Ruth followed both their gazes and with a quick look of her own took in a man who was the dictionary definition of tall, dark, and crazy handsome, sitting alone, eyes meeting hers fully and unabashed.  Her palms felt suddenly clammy  in a way that had nothing to do with the chilled beer she was holding.  “Oh my gosh, he totally is, isn't he?” she said, finding speech suddenly extraordinarily difficult.

“
Want me to go kick him in the nuts?” Maddie offered.

“
No, she absolutely does not,” Padme said, slapping Maddie's arm.  “At least not yet.  That guy is
hot
.”

“
Since when does hot equal 'not a douche bag'?” Maddie said, taking a swig of her own beer. 

“
That's Ruth's decision,” Cecelia said.  “But wow,” she sighed, glancing the man's way again, “he really is beautiful.”

“
Stop looking at him,” said Ruth, flapping her beer-less hand at her friends, the warmth of her flustered blush flooding up the back of her neck and across her cheeks.

“
Why not?  He's the one looking at us,” countered Cecelia.  “Or really, at you.” 

Ruth sucked in her breath.  “Why the hell is he looking at me at all?”

“
Why the hell not?” countered Maddie.  “You're hot, too.” 

“
I'm not –“ Ruth began, but Padme interrupted.

“
Don't look so petrified.  He's just a guy.  And remember what we talked about earlier?  You know, about Rufus and you being lonely and h --”

“
Please do not call me horny again!” protested Ruth, feeling her flushed cheeks grow hotter. 

“
Well, aren't you?” said Padme.

“
Who cares,” Maddie said, rolling her eyes.  “Horny or not, the question is – what are you going to do about this guy giving you the hairy eyeball?”

Cecelia gawked at Maddie.  “Please tell me you did not just say 'hairy eyeball.'”

Ignoring the blonde, Maddie wiggled her eyebrows at Ruth.  “Come on, what do you say?”

Trying to be nonchalant about it and sure that she totally failed, Ruth swept at her hair with trembling fingers and stole another look at the mysterious guy.  Yep, still staring, and right at her –
only
at her.  Without meaning to, she smiled.  The man's eyebrows rose a bit, and then he winked one of his blue eyes back.

She turned back around.  “Ho-ly shit.  He just winked at me.”

“
I saw,” Padme said, grinning.  All three of her friends, in fact, were wearing the same gigantic grin, even Maddie. 

Ruth drew a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then let the air flow out of her in a slow, steady stream.  “Okay,” she said.  “Okay.  I'm going to talk to him.” 

Padme and Cecelia squealed, and Maddie, thumped her hand on the table in admiration.

“
Oh, stop it,” Ruth muttered.  “Before anything else happens, I need another drink.”  She chugged the rest of her beer, then set the empty bottle on the table.  She raised her eyebrows at her friends as she stood, leading with her hips, the alcohol making her feel more confident than usual.  “Wish me luck, girls,” she said.  The three women squealed as Ruth turned on her heel and marched through the crowd to the bar.

She had no idea what to get, though, now that she was pushing out past routine.  She could get anything – the possibilities seemed endless.  It was exciting.  She could get used to this sort of feeling.  Except for the man's gaze – that felt terrifying.

The bartender nodded at her.  “What can I get you?”

Ruth's mouth hung open wordlessly for a moment of indecision, then the answer came to her.  “Wine,” she said at last.  “Red.  Pinot noir, please.”             

The bartender nodded again and, retrieving a wine glass and a bottle, poured a languid stream of the nearly-black liquid. 

“
Thanks,” she said, slipping her payment across the bar.  Ruth took a deep swallow from her glass and deliberately turned to look at the man with the bold gaze.

An electric shock jolted through her body as her eyes met his.  She stifled a gasp at the sensation.  This was really happening.  Here was a man who only seemed to have eyes for her.  It was like something out of one of her romance novels.  Ruth took another sip of wine, not breaking their eye contact. 

She drew a deep shuddering breath, then moved across the room toward him.  She hoped she was moving sexily, but felt more than satisfied with how she managed to walk across the room on her wobbly legs without stumbling and sloshing the crimson wine all down her front. 

Fun, she told herself firmly.  Focus on the fun.  But even as she thought the words, she knew she wouldn't be able to do it.  She never was.  Still, this guy was too intriguing to not at least strike up a conversation with.  He was better for that than her cat, anyway.  She hoped.

“
Hi,” she said, a little breathlessly, when she reached his table.

The man smiled, and Ruth's stomach swooped.  Damn, this guy really is gorgeous, she thought.    “Hi,” he replied, blue eyes dancing. 

“
I saw you looking at me.”  She cringed a little at the words, feeling too blunt as they tripped off her tongue.  But then, maybe this guy like blunt.  He certainly wasn't going for subtle.             

“
I saw you see me looking.” 

Ruth's mouth hung open for a second, not quite sure what to make of the man's response.  Was he mocking her?  Or was this how the mating dance worked?  She felt so clumsy, so out of practice.  Which, of course, she was.

All of a sudden, laughter churned in her belly and bubbled up and out of her before she could stop it.  Ruth felt her cheeks grow red as she laughed. 

“
I'm sorry,” she sputtered around her mirth.  “Really.  I'm not laughing at you.”

The man didn't seem offended.  More amused than anything else, those amazing blue eyes still filled with mirth.  “Go right ahead and laugh,” he said. 

“
It's just – I mean, really?  What you said – I saw you see me looking?”  Ruth snorted.  “That is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.”

“
Oh,” said the man, forehead crinkling and the laughter falling out of his own eyes for the first time.  “I'm sorry I offended you.”

Ruth shook her head, sliding into a seat as she tried to compose herself.  “No, I'm not offended.  I love ridiculous things.  Like, seriously.  That was amazing.  And ridiculous.  And amazing.”  She wiped tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes  “Sorry, that's probably weird, huh?” 

The man looked at her appraisingly, then his frown gave way to a smile.  “Don't call it weird.  Call it quirky.  That makes it sound cooler.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Because I am nothing if not the epitome of cool,” she said, words heavy with sarcasm, feeling her nervous energy ebb.  “As I just so eloquently demonstrated.”

The man shrugged.  “I like quirky.”  He extended a hand.  “I'm Derek.”

She took his hand and shook it.  “Ruth.”

“
Nice to meet you, Ruth,” he said, smiling.  Ruth felt glad she was sitting, because even perched in a chair that smile made her legs feel weak.             

She took a sip of her wine.  “So, seriously.  What's up with all the staring?”

“
Why wouldn't I stare at you?”

Ruth cursed the flush rising on her cheeks.  “I don't know.  I guess . . . guys usually don't stare.  At me, I mean.”

“
Their loss.”  Derek placed his hand over hers where it rested on the table.  She stared at the sight of his hand on hers.  Was this really happening?  The hottest guy in the bar – no, the hottest guy in ever – was interested in her?  Was touching her?  She wasn't sure if she should be flattered or suspicious.

To hell with
should
,
she told herself firmly.

Then he looked Ruth squarely in the eye and – her mouth fell open – drawing her hand to his mouth, placed a warm kiss on its back. 

She froze.  She was probably meant to find the gesture alluring, she knew, but all she could think of was how her father used to kiss her mother's hand in just the same way when he wanted her to shut up, to quit nagging him or wanting him to take her out or put his dirty socks in the damn hamper already.  And her mother would always, always fall silent, her voice somehow smothered by an act that should have been one of love, and instead had become one of dominance, of distance.

Ruth felt her face twist in revulsion.  She refused to be the silent – no, silenced – partner in any relationship, no matter how superficial. 

“
I'm sorry.”  She sprang to her feet, sure that her whole face shone crimson but not much caring.  “I have to go.  My friends – they – sorry . . .”  Ruth wheeled away, not caring to finish making her thin excuses.

When her friends noticed her approach, their faces lit, then quickly fell when they noticed her expression.

“
Ruth, are you okay?” Padme asked, sitting bolt upright. 

“
You look like you're going to puke,” said Maddie.  “What the hell happened?  Do you need me to go kick that sleazebag in the nuts for you?”

Ruth shook her head.  “No, nothing happened.” 
He's just probably a slime ball.  Like every other guy in ever
, she added mentally.  She grabbed her coat and her purse. 

“
But . . . at least let us walk you to the T,” Cecelia said, moving to follow her.

She drew a deep breath, feeling a pressing need to get out of the bar's stuffy clamor, alone.  “No, I'm fine.  Really, you should stay.  I'll get a cab.”  She paused.  “I just need some fresh air and then my bed.” 

“
Well, if you're sure,” Padme said, face twisted with concern.  “Text me when you get home, so I know you're safe?”

Ruth nodded and ducked through the crowd, keeping her eyes away from the table where Derek still sat.  Probably thinking I'm the biggest ass of all time, she thought, rolling her eyes.  But as she shoved out the door into the pleasantly cool autumn night, she couldn't help but throw one more glance his way.  She started – he was staring right back with a hurt expression on his face.