The List (19 page)

I kept my face blank, so he wouldn't realize how much he was getting to me. “So, do you prefer being an independent artist, or will you be trying to land a record deal?”

His face broke into a full smile, and he laughed real deep. “Wow. Redirect, huh? Okay.”

I grilled him with questions over the next half-hour while we finished our cake. I finally looked down at my watch. “Okay. I think I have everything I need to script the show. As soon as you get back, we'll be ready to start taping. By then, I'll have decided if we're going to tape at the studio with an audience or at Apache or somewhere else. We'll also need some nice shots of you in your environment, like at home, playing the guitar, or maybe, at your favorite places where you go for inspiration to write. Be thinking about a couple of spots while you're gone.” I put my notepad into my large purse and waved the waitress down for the check.

“So that's it?” He raised his eyebrows.

“No, silly. Like I said, when you get back, we tape your show. Then that's it.”

“That's too bad.” He nodded like he was sizing me up. “Let me ask this then. If I refuse to do the show, will you go out with me?”

I couldn't help but smile. “Stop playing. You're not gonna refuse to do the show. You don't even know if I'm worth that.”

“I have a feeling.” He gave me this intense look that made me fidget. “Maybe I can take you to dinner after we tape the show. When it's all finished, you won't have to worry about your rule then, right?”

“Isaiah, don't take this the wrong way. It's not personal. You seem like a great guy. I just can't. I've got too much riding on this show, and I can't afford any indiscretions. Okay?”

He picked up the check and pulled out his wallet. “Okay. I guess I'll have to accept that.”

I tried to take the check from him. “You don't have to get it. This was a business meeting.”

He held it out of my reach. “At least let me get the check. I really enjoyed talking to you. It's not often I get to spend an evening with a beautiful, godly woman.”

“Please.” I rolled my eyes. “Like you have any problem meeting women.”

“I didn't say I had any problem meeting women. I have a problem with meeting too many women. Bunch of chickenheads trying to sleep with me, even though they just watched me on stage pouring out my heart to the Lord. What I rarely meet, though, are godly women. Especially smart, beautiful ones.” He rose from the table. “I don't know. I might have to refuse to do this show.”

As he headed off to find the waitress to pay the bill, he turned and said over his shoulder. “You might be a once-in-a-lifetime.”

O
ver the next week, I spent as many hours as I could, working on
Indie Artist
. Me and Erika went to a Harmony in Life show at Sugar Hill and found two more acts to complete the season. I started meeting with the artists to interview them, and we made arrangements with the manager at Apache Café to tape there. That way, I wouldn't have to worry about getting a studio audience and a sound system. We decided to use the house band from the Wednesday night jam session.

I tried not to think about Isaiah, but he kept creeping into my mind all week. For some reason, his CD ended up in my CD player, playing over and over while I was at home. I wondered what it would be like to date him.

I didn't let myself wonder too long. The only thing worst than dating a co-worker would be dating talent. I could hear Rayshawn accusing me of giving my boyfriend a show or even creating the show to promote his career. I didn't need Ms. Carter questioning my ethics or motives.

Nope. He was another perfect guy I would have to put out of my mind because of work.

As well as
Indie Artist
was going,
Destiny's Child
wasn't going at all. Rayshawn always said she was too busy to sit down to do budgeting and scheduling, which made it difficult to even get started. She never had time to approve the script ideas I had submitted to her based on kids I planned to audition from our inner city outreach. And when I talked about holding auditions for the kids, she said I didn't need to worry about that, she'd be finding the talent.

It smelled like sabotage to me. I knew she had some idea cooked up where she would make it look to Ms. Carter like I was the one who missed the deadlines. She would probably say I was too busy working on my other show with Mark and that it was too much to expect me to do two shows anyway. She'd get me fired off my own show and then somehow turn it into her video hoochies brainchild.

I had to find a way to keep that from happening. If I went to Ms. Carter and complained, I would look like a big tattletale and would make an even worse enemy in Rayshawn and some of the other producers. I had already started a paper trail of memos and emails documenting my attempts at reaching out to her. But her answers were strategic in that they shifted responsibility back to me so she could easily say I hadn't met her expectations, and therefore, she couldn't do her part. If I went ahead and did the budget and schedule and started auditions without her, she would say that I was usurping her authority. It seemed like a no-win situation for me.

I finally prayed and asked God how to handle the situation. He didn't say much. I figured it'd be one of those situations that He worked out without telling me the details.

Late one afternoon, Erika buzzed me to let me know Ms. Carter wanted to speak with me. I knew she had been checking on the progress of the shows with all the senior producers. Mark told me he had given her a glowing report about how I was handling
Indie Artist
almost independently with very little input from him. I hoped that would counteract whatever horrible stories Rayshawn told her about
Destiny's Child
.

I decided to arm myself before walking into her office. I gathered my budget and schedule, flyers Erika had made to advertise auditions, and script ideas to take to the meeting. The Holy Spirit would have to tell me how to frame things to where it would be clear I was trying to do my job without defaming Rayshawn.

I walked to her office slowly, praying the whole way. Once again, God didn't say anything. Just had that quiet, peace-of-God thing wash over me. Of course, He knew something I didn't know.

I took a deep breath, knocked on Ms. Carter's office door and decided to sit back and watch how things unfolded.

After we exchanged pleasantries, Ms. Carter motioned for me to sit down. I laid my folder in my lap and waited for her to begin.

“Michelle, how are you? How are things going so far with the shows?”

Shoot. She put the ball in my court first. I would rather her come right out and tell me she knew things were bad and give me my ultimatum about how long I had to turn things around before I lost my show. Her fishing forced me to choose my words carefully.

“Things are going great so far. Of course, I've had to deal with the usual challenges, but I feel like things are progressing. In some areas, not as far as I would like by this point, but I understand that's how things go sometimes.” Hopefully that was vague enough to punt the ball back into her court.

“Let's get down to it, Michelle. You know I'm not one to beat around the bush. I've spoken with Mark about the progress of
Indie Artist,
and he has nothing but great things to say about you. The most telling is that you're already functioning like a senior producer, taking a lot of initiative and being aggressive about being excellent and ahead of schedule. Unfortunately, that report is completely different from the one I'm getting from Rayshawn.”

I started to speak in my defense, but she held up a hand to stop me.

“It doesn't take much for me to figure out why there's such a difference. I know that you're a dedicated worker. Eyeing your budgets, schedule, and scripts from
Indie Artist
lets me know you're more than capable of doing both shows. I know Rayshawn can be impossible to work with. And I know she has no problem with sacrificing the good of the station for her own agenda.”

Oh, my. Didn't expect that to come out of her mouth. The obvious next question was, Why did Rayshawn still have a job here?

As if she heard my thoughts, Ms. Carter said, “It may be difficult to understand, but Rayshawn is a very good producer.”

“And quite honestly, my hands are somewhat tied with making certain personnel decisions around here.” Ms. Carter looked away and folded her hands when she said that.

What did that mean?

And then it hit me. The rumors about Rayshawn and the station owner were true. Ms. Carter was stuck with Rayshawn, no matter how much she might have wanted to fire her.

Ms. Carter continued, “I was prepared to have a sit-down meeting with the two of you to discuss how best to get your show moving forward. Instead, I got a phone call from Rayshawn's sister saying there was a family emergency and Rayshawn would be out for at least two weeks. I'm not sure what that's all about and, hopefully, will get more information as to exactly when we can expect her back.”

I clutched my folder and didn't say anything.

“That means you have a small window of time to get some things accomplished. I know it's a lot to ask, with everything moving on your other show, but if you can get me your proposed budget and schedule within the week, perhaps we can get some auditions scheduled. That would require some extra hours from you, but if you're willing to try, let me know.”

I held up the folder. “Here they are.”

Ms. Carter furrowed her eyebrows as she accepted the folder. “You've already completed them?”

I nodded.

“Why weren't they submitted to me?”

I shrugged and bit my tongue to keep from telling her.

“How long have they been done?”

“A couple of weeks.”

Ms. Carter thumbed through the papers in the folder, briefly reading them. She looked back up at me. “I don't understand why I'm just seeing these.”

I slowly let out a deep breath. “Rayshawn hadn't approved them yet, and I didn't want to go over her head. I'm sure you would have gotten to them today if it weren't for her emergency.”

Ms. Carter nodded slowly, looked at me, down at the folder, then back up at me again. “Okay. Well, I'm glad they're done.” She closed the folder and placed it on her desk. She smiled and looked right into my eyes. “I guess things have a way of working out for our good, huh?”

I smiled and nodded. It wasn't the first time I had noticed Ms. Carter cryptically sneaking scripture into her conversations at the station. “I guess they do. I'll be pushing to get as much done as I can in the next couple of weeks. Should I report back to you?”

“That would be good.”

I rose to leave, and Ms. Carter stood with me. “Thanks for all your hard work, Michelle. You have a bright future in television. Continue to be excellent in all you do.”

I nodded and smiled. “Thanks.”

After I left her office, I couldn't wait to get to Erika and Jason to tell them the news and enlist their help in getting as much done as possible in the next two weeks. I was prepared to put
Indie Artist
aside to get as much done on
Destiny's Child
as possible.

I sat down in my office to take a few deep breaths and try to get my thoughts together when Erika came busting in, red-faced and breathless.

“Did you hear the news?”

“What?”

She closed the door and sat down in my office chair, leaning forward like she had the tastiest bit of gossip to share. “Rayshawn is gonna be out for a while.”

“I know. Ms. Carter just told me. We'll get to get some things done on
Destiny's Child
and—”

“Ms. Carter told you? She knew the whole story?”

“No, she said there was a family emergency.”

Erika smirked. “Family emergency? I guess you could call it that.” She leaned even further forward in her chair to the point I was afraid she would fall out. “Rayshawn is pregnant. By the station owner. He's forcing her to have an abortion. She had a major emotional breakdown.” Erika grinned like she was sharing the best news I'd ever heard.

I frowned. “Erika, that's horrible. Where did you hear that? You shouldn't say stuff like that. I know she's evil, but—”

“I'm not gonna say how I know, but I know it's true. She's in love with him and wanted him to leave his wife. He sent her away somewhere to get rid of the baby and get herself together. He thought she shouldn't work here anymore, but she blackmailed him to keep her job. The only bad thing about it is that she'll be even more terroristic when she gets back. Ms. Carter better watch her back. Rayshawn might use this to try to take over everything.”

I held up my hand. “That's enough. I don't want to hear anymore. Even if it's true, it's not anything we need to sit around talking about.”

Erika looked at me like I was crazy. “After the way she's treated you and everybody else around here? You should be happy.”

“Why would I be happy about that? Can you imagine what she must be feeling? What it will be like for her to have to come back here and work, knowing what everybody knows about her? Why would I be happy about somebody getting their heart broken and having an emotional breakdown? I don't care how she acts. She's still a person with feelings, and I know she must be pretty messed up right now.”

Erika rolled her eyes at me and sat back in her chair.

“Erika, you have to promise me you won't tell anybody else about this.”

Her eyes widened. “Are you serious? Girl, please. Why are you defending her?”

“I don't expect you to understand. Just promise me, okay?”

Erika stood up and stomped toward the door like a little kid whose fun I had spoiled. “Fine, Michelle. Even if I don't tell it, people will know.” She gave me a crazy look and left.

I sat staring out the window, processing everything she had said. I remembered seeing the real Rayshawn when we were in my office that late night. I couldn't imagine what she was feeling right now. I didn't even know what to pray.
God, please help her.