The List (21 page)

I
t took Isaiah a second to answer my question. I didn't know if he was asleep, or shocked by me asking him out. After he got himself together, he said he wanted to plan something special and would call me back later. Of course, I couldn't sleep until he called me back.

When he did, he told me to dress cute and comfortable.

I spent the next couple of hours in the bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to guess where he would be taking me.

Since I insisted on driving my own car rather than letting him pick me up, he called me half an hour before the date and told me to meet him at Piedmont Park.

Sounded cool. A date in the park. I dressed in pink Capri pants, a white cotton tee, and some Keds. It was a nice day outside, but I grabbed a blue jean jacket in case it got cool later.

When I walked up to our meeting point, he was there waiting, leaning against a Hummer. His body was made for the jeans he was wearing. He had on one of his signature slogan T-shirts that said, “No Worries. God Reigns.” He gave me a shy smile and a hug. He smelled too good. He had changed up from the African musk to some other musky scent. I lingered in his arms a few seconds too long.

“Hey,” he said into my ear before he let me go.

“Hey, back.” I pulled away from him before I wouldn't want to.

He nodded toward a large tree down by the lake, gesturing for me to follow. When we got to the other side of it, I could see where he had spread out a blanket and had a large picnic basket.

“I know. Kinda corny and cliché, huh? The whole picnic in the park thing?” he said.

“Not at all. It's sweet. I love being outside and love water. It's perfect.” I took a seat on a large cushion he had placed on the blanket. I appreciated his thoughtfulness. After ten minutes of sitting on the hard ground, my butt would have started hurting.

He opened the basket and took out fruit, cheese, crackers, and juice. “Hope you're not too hungry. If you are, we can go for dinner after we leave here.”

“I'm good. This should be fine.” My stomach was too fluttery to eat much anyway.

He picked up a pear and lay down on his stomach, kicking off his sandals and stretching out his legs. “So, you know everything there is to know about me. Now it's my turn to interview you.”

“Interview me?” I gave him a flirty smile.

“Yeah. I need to find out all your deepest, darkest secrets.”

I giggled. “Whatever. And I don't know everything there is to know about you. Just enough for the show. There's a lot more I need to know about you if—”

He raised his eyebrows. “If what?”

“If . . .” I bit my lip. “If I'm going to risk losing my job to hang out with you.”

His face broke into a smile. “Okay, that's fair. I'll give you the rundown.” He sat up across from me and crossed his legs, Indian style. He pulled his locks behind his back. I was sure they had to be hot. “I'm thirty-four years old, never been married, no children. No crazy ex-girlfriends that you'd have to worry about stalking you or keying your car.”

“Why are you still single?” I scooted my cushion back close to the tree so I could lean against it.

He shrugged and took a big bite of the pear. “God hasn't sent the right one. I'm looking for someone completely submitted to God. I think two people have a better chance in a relationship if they're both completely sold out to Christ—dead to ourselves, allowing His Spirit to reign in us.”

His words sounded familiar.

He continued, “I guess my lifestyle may have something to do with it, too. I'm a free spirit led by God's Spirit, and I go wherever I feel His wind blowing me. That really doesn't work for a relationship.”

“What do you mean?” I turned around and studied the tree trunk to make sure there were no bugs in sight. I didn't need anything crawling into my afro.

“Like I said, I'm free. I'm not materialistic at all, and I'm not really attached to anything earthly or worldly. When I meet the right one, I'm going to have to make a lot of changes. It would be big changes, but I'm believing she'll be worth it.”

“Not materialistic? Just believe in living large, huh?”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

I was just about to mention his house and car when my cell phone rang. I was set to ignore it until I saw Jason's name.

“Let me get this real quick.” I stood and walked over to a nearby tree and answered the phone.

Jason was at the office editing and had run into a couple of glitches with the audio. I talked him through the problem and then hung up.

“Sorry about that. It was Jason.” I made myself comfortable on the cushion again. “He's editing a show and needed some help.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Isaiah finished off his pear and threw the core into the lake.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Did he know you were going out with me today?”

“Of course not.” I reached over to the picnic basket and picked up a huge bunch of red grapes. “Why do you ask that?”

“Because if he knows you're with me, that won't be the only phone call.”

“Isaiah, what are you talking about?” I bit into a grape. It was a perfect blend of sweet and tangy.

Isaiah took a cup out of the basket and poured some juice. “Jason likes you.”

“What in the world?” I swatted away a fly that was trying to share my grapes. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on. You know he likes you.” He handed me the cup of juice and poured himself another. “I thought you guys were dating, until you told me about your not-dating-where-you-work policy.”

“You thought me and Jason were dating? Why?”

“Because of the way you guys were vibing during the audition. Because of how protective he is of you. He'll barely let me anywhere near you for more than five minutes.”

“Please, Isaiah. You're reading into stuff. He's just running the shoot.”

He shook his head. “He likes you. Guys know.”

“We've worked closely together for the past couple of years. That's all.”

“Okay. Just think about it and watch.” He took a sip of juice and pulled out the crackers and cheese. “Anyway, it's my turn to ask questions.”

“Okay. Ask whatever you want, but I reserve the right not to answer.”

He raised his eyebrows. “A woman with secrets. I love it.”

I laughed.

“So why are you still single? I can't believe ain't nobody snatched you up by now.”

I took a sip of juice. It tasted like passion fruit or something. “I was married for eleven years. Divorced about three years ago.” I hope he didn't ask too many questions. I didn't feel like talking about my ex right now.

“If you don't mind me asking, what happened? That's a long time to be married.”

I shrugged. “Short version? We got married young. We both had big dreams and goals for our lives, individually and together. After a while, it became clear that mine were real goals and his were dreams that would always continue to be dreams. He kept hopping from idea to idea, never saw anything through, and never achieved any real measure of success. Other bad things happened at the end . . .” Hopefully he wouldn't press me for more details.

“And since then, you haven't found anyone?”

“I only recently started dating again. I've been through some crazy stuff out there. Enough to make me want to stay single.”

Isaiah stared into my eyes. “No, you don't want to stay single. You have too much love inside you to give away to stay single. And you need to be loved and covered. You deserve that. And you have to have some babies. You're not one of those women who's going to end up alone.”

I looked down at the ground. He had a way of reading me that was unnerving.

He placed a few pieces of cheese and crackers on a small plate and slid it over to me. “So, what's your ultimate? Your goals, your dreams?”

It seemed weird for him to ask my favorite rule-out question. He listened intently as I got on my soapbox about black television programming and its effect on the African American community and especially our youth. I told him my dreams about television, movies, and theatre. “The media is one of the most effective means of communicating the Kingdom. I can reach people who may never go to church or watch Dr. Creflo Dollar, Bishop Eddie Long or Bishop Jakes on television. They might see something in a movie or television show that could change their life.”

I went on for a while, with him smiling and nodding the whole time. I knew I was going too long, but he listened like I was the most interesting person on earth.

I finally made myself stop by shoving cheese and crackers into my mouth. I asked him, “So what's your ultimate?”

“My life is all about worship. I want to teach people intimacy with God through worship. I don't want to be an entertainer. I'm not trying to make millions selling records. Not trying to get famous, except for the sake of having a platform to minister the Kingdom. If I can lead one person closer to the presence of God, then I've achieved my purpose here on earth.”

It was my turn to nod and smile.

He hung his head for a second. “I guess I've had to change my idea of what success is over the years, and that's where I am now. It was difficult for a while. My brother and sister are real successful by the world's standards. She's a big-time entertainment lawyer. He's a professor at Howard. They've really made my parents proud. I'm not like them. They like to stay in one place and like working for the system. I think it was the way we grew up, living from place to place all over the world. They prefer stability. I guess I'm more like my parents. More free-spirited and sold out to ministry than attached to material things.”

“I think you're successful. Success is not about having a profession according to society's idea of success. Success is doing what you're called to do and being happy doing it. You should never apologize for that.”

He smiled and lay back on the blanket, staring up at the sky. “Thanks, Michelle.”

I lay back and stared up at the sky, too. He inched over closer to me. It felt funny being horizontal next to him. It wasn't like he was doing anything, but the feel of his muscular arm against mine and the occasional brushes of his leg against me started a little heat to rise. It was shameful, but it didn't take much for me. I tried to focus on the nature around us.

A hot summer breeze waved across us, and the trees rippled in response. I heard ducks on the lake squawking at each other. I laughed inwardly, remembering my last experience with ducks on a lake. Thankfully, the St. John's Wort had worked its magic on me over the last couple of months, and except for an occasional freak-out moment, my mood was much more stable on my hormone days. It hadn't done anything to deal with the horny monster though.

The thought of tussling with him later made me sit up.

Isaiah looked up at me. “You okay?”

I nodded and scooched away from him a little.

He sat up and pulled out his guitar. “I've been working on this new song. Want to hear it? Here it go.” He chuckled. “Really. Let me know what you think.”

He strummed a few chords on the guitar and began singing. The words about being in the secret place with God touched a special place in my soul. He sang about the secret place being the safest place where one could get lost in the joy of the Lord. Made me think of snuggling under my comforter with the Holy Spirit, without a care in the world. Isaiah had a poetic way with words that made me almost see what he was singing.

“You like?” he asked after he played the final chords of the song.

“I like. That was beautiful. You're really going to impact a lot of people's lives with your music. It's clearly what you were born to do.”

He smiled and bowed his head like I had embarrassed him. If Isaiah ever did come to church with me, there would be no reason to do the worship test. He clearly had an intimate relationship with God.

We sat and talked for a while longer, finishing off all the food in the picnic basket.

As evening approached, a cool breeze from the lake stirred, and the mosquitoes started to gather. I let Isaiah know it was time to go. I wasn't trying to get bit.

He walked me to my car. I wasn't ready for the evening to end, but I was sleepy from the night before and needed to get some rest before church in the morning.

“So, will I see you again? Soon?” Isaiah asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. I think I'd like that.”

His face broke into a big grin. “Good. I'd like that too.”

He gave me a hug. I felt myself melting in his arms. I knew I stayed there too long, but my affection-starved body wasn't trying to let go. He kissed me on the cheek and slowly pulled away from me.

He held the car door open for me and waited until I got in and shut the door behind me. He leaned down into the open window. “Thanks, Michelle. I'm glad you called. Call me when you have time, and we'll hang out again.”

When I got home, showered and got into bed, I knew my attempts at sleep wouldn't be any better than they had been earlier that day. I couldn't stop thinking about everything Isaiah had said. The song he sang. His passion. How I felt safe and secure in his arms. How sweet his kiss felt on my cheek. I wondered for a minute about all his talk about being a free spirit, not attached to the material world, but that contemplation got lost in remembering how his arms felt around me.

I finally drifted off to sleep at one in the morning with the overwhelming question looming in my mind. Was Isaiah the one?