The Locket (29 page)

I had to drag myself from the tub, suddenly feeling weighed down with fatigue. I was afraid I would fall asleep and drown if I stayed in any longer. After I was dressed, I looked in the mirror, relieved to see that my bruised face was not as bad as it seemed earlier. Brent healed my palm and did his best to heal the other bruises. The ashy marks created from the Adherent were easy, but he was still developing the ability to heal things caused by human influences. The dark circles under my eyes reminded me I desperately needed to sleep.

When I opened the door to the room, I saw Brent. He was lying across the bed, staring at the ceiling. His hands were tucked behind his head and his knees bent. The display was unnerving as his expression suggested he was struggling with his thoughts. I slid on the bed next to him and he pulled me tightly to his chest.

“What is it?” I asked softly.

He traced his fingers gently over the bruises on my face. There was an angry edge to his voice. “I can’t stand that he hurt you,” he let out.

I shifted uncomfortably knowing I had showed him what happened with Logan, and the images were now permanently etched in his mind, retelling the story every time he thought about it.

“I’m fine,” I reassured him, resting my head on his shoulder breathing in his scent that I loved so much.

“It’s not okay, Claire. He never should have touched you because I never should have let you walk out that door without me.”

I sat up swiftly.

“Don’t! Don’t you dare blame yourself. I’m glad I left. I believe more now than ever things happen for a reason. Logan needed guidance to escape his home where he’s been tormented his entire life. If I hadn’t gone to him, he would still be suffering through it.”

He drew himself up resting on his elbow. He ran a finger softly along my jaw.

“You’re so kind, Claire.” He looked down, straining to find the right words. “Just remember, he has a long way to go. I don’t want you to be disappointed if he slips into old habits. It’s not that easy for people to change their behavior.”

I breathed in long and deep. Brent’s words bothered me and I didn’t want to fight with him. I wasn’t so foolish to think that Logan didn’t have a long struggle ahead of him, but I resented the fact Brent was attempting to minimalize the progress I made with Logan. I was contemplating what to say, to make my point without it ending in an argument when Brent leaned in, and trailed his lips lightly along my jaw, like feathers.

He ran his fingers up and down my back, tracing my spine, and kissed the lobe of my ear softly. It was nearly impossible for me to think while he was touching me like that. Thinking of a word was too much, let alone stringing together a sentence, so I sighed in defeat and leaned into him. He lowered me to the bed on my back and put his palm on my belly, under my t-shirt, the heat from his hand nearly burning my skin. He rested on his elbow, looking down at me.

“I’ve learned some things about myself through all of this, Claire, and I’m not really proud of it,” Brent admitted. The edge in his voice from earlier returned. I didn’t respond but put my hand on his chest, encouraging him to continue. “When it comes to you, I feel extremely possessive and jealous. The thought of anyone hurting you makes me angry in a way that scares me.”

His eyes were dark and he awaited my response watchfully.

“Brent, I’m sure it’s just normal emotions that come with first love. The feelings are strong and euphoric and the fear of losing it does things to both of us.” I tried to reassure him but he shook his head.

“It’s not only about first love, Claire. It’s very hard for me. I fight to control my anger. When you don’t listen to me, it makes it so much harder. Part of my role in your life doesn’t allow me to trust anyone you’re around who I see as a threat. I can’t feel compassion for Logan the way you can because of how he’s treated you.”

“But he’s changed,” I interrupted.

Brent smiled sincerely.

“I know he has, baby. My designed nature however, has not. But, I’m working on it, Claire,” he admitted. Remembering his earlier comment about it not being easy to change behavior, I realized he was talking about himself as much as he was Logan. “You’ve never made it easy on me. Do you remember Paul from our sophomore year?” he asked.

“Let me guess. That was really you,” I said.

Brent nodded.

Growing up, Brent had the ability to change his semblance to anyone he wanted. I wondered how many people I knew in my life had actually been him.

“Figures!” I huffed. “I really liked Paul. He was nice to me.”

Brent sighed loudly.

“Yeah well, you didn’t
like him,
like him” he stated, making air quotations with his hands when he said the word like. “You liked Brandon as I recall,” he reminded me, tilting his head questioning if I remembered that little crush.

I did remember. I thought Brandon was cute but he had turned out to be a complete ass. He was a year older than us and one of the popular kids in school. Then it struck me. I remembered that I told Paul, who was really Brent, all about it and my cheeks blushed apologetically.

“You told me he was cute, and I told you he was an a-hole and you should avoid him. As usual, you didn’t listen.”

I hadn’t listened and I should have.

“It wasn’t like I wanted him to be my boyfriend,” I blurted, nervously.

“Yeah, especially after Brandon covered you in slime.” Brent was amused by the memory, mocking my humiliation.

Is he really laughing at me?

We had been doing a lab in science. I made a point to sit at Brandon’s table, wanting him to notice me. He had caught me staring at him and laughed. His friend noticed and piped up, teasing Brandon about liking me. Brandon laughed hysterically, shouting that I was “butt ugly,” and knocked a beaker of snot-like concoction we had been working on, right into my lap. He laughed so hard he actually snorted. Afterward, Brandon claimed it was an accident, but I knew it was on purpose. I avoided him after that and thankfully he had left me alone. I laughed at the memory, realizing my foolishness.

Brent wasn’t laughing at me or with me. “When that happened I wanted to leap across the room and hurt him for what he did to you. The whole class was watching and given my role in your life, I couldn’t risk it.”

“But you didn’t, Brent. See, you do have control.”

“I didn’t do anything to him in class, but I did find him later,” he said mischievously.

“Brent, what did you do?” I asked, understanding now why Brandon had stayed away from me.

“I just scared him a little. I told him to stay clear of you, and he did,” Brent gloated.

He was holding back. His expression gave away that he had done a lot more to Brandon than he was admitting.

“Okay, I don’t want to know,” I said, fidgeting underneath him. He pressed his body into mine and wrapped his arm around me, holding me firm.

”Look, Claire, the point is, that was minor compared to the rage that took over when I saw you with Logan. Because of our apparitions, when we bond, it’s quicker, stronger, and more intense than it is for humans. The compulsion for us to protect our mate above anything else is not easily controlled. Those images you shared sparked my anger. It takes every bit of restraint I have not to go find Logan right now and make him pay for what he did to you. And the only reason I don’t is because I know it would hurt you.”

“You’re right, it would hurt me,” I admitted. “In fact, it would crush me.”

Logan had another chance at life and so did I.

“I know,” he said, threading his fingers through my hair and resting his hand just above my ear. “Just don’t leave again, Claire. I need you to trust me.”

“I won’t,” I promised, hoping I could keep it. I wanted to trust him but it wasn’t something that came easy for me. I was a product of the way I had grown up, two parents who trusted no one, for good reason. But nonetheless, it had affected me more than I thought.

“I’m serious Claire, not even for Logan. We can’t be sure his regret will continue or he won’t be adhered to again,” Brent warned.

“Okay, I got it. Jeez,” I said, trying to end the conversation.

I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I felt guilty enough about leaving Brent and not trusting him. Needing to distract him, I climbed on top of him and straddled him, placing my palms flat against the bed next to his head, letting my hair fall around us, tunneling our faces.

“I love you and you’re right. I’m sorry. Now, I don’t want to talk anymore. I just want to feel, Brent,” I sighed, shaking my head just enough that my hair fluttered teasingly across his cheeks.

Brent froze, letting out an equally heavy sigh. Before he could put a stop to things, I put my lips on his, waiting for him to respond. He did, kissing me softly, pulling me close, and squeezing the back of my neck. I released a soft moan.

“Christ, Claire, those noises you make when I kiss you drive me crazy,” he whispered.

I relaxed against him, his compliment fueling the fire I could feel starting between my thighs. Our chests met, and I felt his heart beating against mine through the thin fabric of my shirt.

I sat up and Brent rested both of his hands on my hips. His breathing was heavy. I slowly began removing my top. He started to stop me, but I pushed his hands away, whispering it was okay, and he didn’t try to stop me again. I was braless and tossed my shirt to the floor. Brent’s appreciative gaze made my cheeks red hot, and the fact I knew he had seen my blush, increased my need for him. He lifted from the bed and wrapped his arms around my body, digging his fingers into my back, burying his head in the crook of my neck.

“Aw hell, Claire, you’re trying to kill me,” he whispered, panting for air.

I positioned my hands on both sides of his face, pulled him close and kissed him passionately. When I stopped to take a breath, I stared into his blue eyes, burning with desire. I slid my hands down his abdomen to his waist band.

“I want you, Brent. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

He grabbed me at the waist and flipped me so I was lying on my back again. He hovered over me.

“I want you too, Claire. You have no idea how bad, but I can’t, not right now,” he uttered breathless.

I deflated like a balloon with a hole, the entire moment released to disappointment. He sat up next to me, raking his fingers through his hair.

“It can’t be like this. It’s too emotionally charged. With everything going on, if I make love to you right now, it will feel like a distraction from everything you’ve dealt with. Like it was when you kissed Logan. I don’t want that. With the stress of what happened to you, it feels wrong. I want to make love to you when it feels right. I need that, Claire, and you may not believe it, but you need it, too.”

I did need that and if it was possible, I loved him even more for his ability to understand this moment would be one neither of us would want to feel regret about. It was a one-time memory we would have forever. He smiled and pulled me to his side. I rested my cheek on his chest, listening to his racing heartbeat.

“Your heart is beating so fast,” I commented.

“Kind of your fault, Blake,” he laughed.

I giggled and peered up at him. “I know it wasn’t easy for you to stop, but thank you,” I said trailing a finger over the scruff of his chin.

“Nearly impossible,” he said half laughing, kissing my forehead. “But worth it and you’re very welcome.”

He smiled crookedly. “You’re upset. I couldn’t help it.”

“I’m upset that you think I only want to have sex because I’m an emotional basket case, and it’s not like that,” I said, trying not to shout.

You’re pouting. That is probably not the best way to convince him you’re ready for this.

My stupid subconscious was barking at me.

“I don’t think you’re an emotional basket case,” Brent consoled me. “I think we’ve have been through so much lately. I don’t want us to make love under stressful circumstances because I’m afraid you’ll end up regretting it. It’s going to be your first time, Claire. It should be something you cherish when you look back on it.”

“If it’s with you Brent, of course I’ll cherish it.”

Wait, did he say it was my first time?

My heart felt like it might burst at any moment as I tried to reevaluate his words. He did say
your
first and not
our
first. Oh my God, he’s already been with someone.

Of course he has. He’s a
twenty year old guy who was pretty sure that you were designed to be with Reese. Did you think he waited hoping your design was wrong, silly girl
?

“Shut up,” I shouted at my subconscious.

“What?” Brent asked startled.

Crap!

“What’s wrong, Claire?”

I hung my head and held in the urge to scream and totally freak out.

“It’s nothing,” I mumbled under my breath, praying he would drop it.

He pulled my chin up forcing me to look at him.